RILEY’S DIARY: Sandy Audition

November 13, 2012
Hi friends! I had an audition last night! Not sure what that was all about, but Mom said I could be Sandy, which really confused me since that is already my name – Riley Sandy. Who can understand these people sometimes. But I got to go in front of people and do stuff like sit and say, and I know I did good because I got treats. I showed them all how much I liked them by jumping on them. The little girl looked kind of alarmed, so when she was done singing to me, I put my front paws on her and tried to lick her face. I also tried to get the treat she was holding because I think she forgot to give it to me.

Lexi came with us and when people asked with a laugh if she was auditioning I knew it was because she had been Toto and everyone loves her. Mom explained she was too small, but she was here as my talent agent. Everyone laughed again except Lexi. She scowled at me a lot. I wonder if that is what talent agents do.

I hope I get to go back and be famous like Lexi. I love you.

Riley

Riley in Theater? How could this be!

November 13, 2012
Yesterday Mom dropped Riley off at day care and brought me to work, and at that point I thought the world was still turning the right direction on its axis. I had a good day at the church even though it was a Monday and the Quilters were not there. There were still lots of treats from other quarters.

Then we went to get Riley after work, which was still the norm. Where we went next was surprising but pleasant. Mom drove us to the Theatre Centre, a place of many happy memories for me. I not only gave stunning performances there in my role as Toto, I have also presented awards, received an award, and attended performances at other plays there. It’s sort of like my alma mater. So far so good. There was even someone there with a microphone doing interviews and she was naturally more interested in me that anyone else. I really didn’t understand why Riley was with us, other than he didn’t have anywhere else to go, probably because no one wanted him. Mom told her all about my stint in the Wizard of Oz with several amusing antidotes. I know the reporter will have some good material there. Perhaps she will come back wanting a picture, my head shot for instance.

It was what happened next that sent my world spinning. We went into the rehearsal room to audition, just like I did five years ago when I got the part of Toto. I heard Riley’s name called and Mom tied me to a chair. Everyone had made a terrible mistake. Surely they didn’t actually want that big red bumbling mutt. Oh, the injustice! The travesty! What has this world come to! I tried to drag the chair out to the center of the room to make sure they saw me and realized their horrendous error. Someone grabbed my leash and stopped me. Pulled up short I barked and was ignored. Then Riley proceeded to embarrass me as he usually does. While it is true that he sat nicely and stayed and came when told, and while it is also true that he gave quite a nice bow, he was jumping all over people and I think he may have even frightened the little darling who was sent out to be his victim. Just when I thought she had had enough, someone brought her a chair, where she sat and sang prettily to him. He didn’t exactly sit still while she sang, but when she was done he did show her how much he appreciated her singing by groveling all over her. I don’t think she liked that either. He does weigh quite a bit you know, far more than a one stone schnauzer. In fact, he is probably at least three stones plus a lot of pebbles thrown in.

When all the dogs except me were done auditioning we were told that there were more dogs auditioning tomorrow and everyone would be notified of the results. Now that I have had more time to think about it, I am thinking that they will simply call me to come be the star without even so much as an audition since they already know what an awesome performance I give. They must just be doing this stupid human thing of being “fair” but I think it is just building up false hopes.

I will wait for the call and act surprised when Mom tells me I got the part. He, he. Won’t all those other dogs be surprised!

Lexi, the thespian

Therapy Dog Supreme

November 9, 2012
Hello my underlings and ardent admirers. After several years off from the physical therapy hospital for adult people, I have made a come-back. It wasn’t quite all I had hoped for, but it sure beat lying around the house listening to Riley lick his paws. I close my eyes, but I can still hear him. I digress.

I may have mentioned how much I love going to the children’s hospital. Those kids are neatly tucked away in their beds – most of the time – and I sit on the soft mattress and allow them to pet me. Sometimes there is a rogue one in the hallway and I always put on my best therapy dog face and try to make them smile. Of course, I am always, and I mean always, smiling when I am there. The place smells like food – I seem to get there just after breakfast and before lunch and the odors are lingering, coming and going you might say. And everyone makes over me and pets me and says what a wonderful dog I am and wants to know all about me. I think mom should bring my bio and the Oz program and my Annie theatre award, but she seems content to just hand out my calling card. It has a rather flattering picture of me and some of my more important stats as well as pointing folks to my web page. Again, I digress.

So I smile my doggie smile, not just because of the wonderful food smells, but also because I know I am doing something good. I can get kids to smile, too, kids who have been crying up to the time they see me. I think they are sick, and maybe hurting, but just the sight of my beautiful bearded face cheers them. I know you must be saying, “Is this really Lexi the schnauzer talking?” It does sound so unlike me. Confession time: I do have an altruistic side that likes to make people happy, especially kids and old people. Mom says I am a gift from God to spread joy. Personally, I like the black raspberry spread, but joy seems good too, especially when it ends in a treat for me.

I will get back to you on how this newest therapy job progresses. I go again next month

Love and joy to all of you.

Lexi, therapy dog supreme