November 13, 2012
Yesterday Mom dropped Riley off at day care and brought me to work, and at that point I thought the world was still turning the right direction on its axis. I had a good day at the church even though it was a Monday and the Quilters were not there. There were still lots of treats from other quarters.
Then we went to get Riley after work, which was still the norm. Where we went next was surprising but pleasant. Mom drove us to the Theatre Centre, a place of many happy memories for me. I not only gave stunning performances there in my role as Toto, I have also presented awards, received an award, and attended performances at other plays there. It’s sort of like my alma mater. So far so good. There was even someone there with a microphone doing interviews and she was naturally more interested in me that anyone else. I really didn’t understand why Riley was with us, other than he didn’t have anywhere else to go, probably because no one wanted him. Mom told her all about my stint in the Wizard of Oz with several amusing antidotes. I know the reporter will have some good material there. Perhaps she will come back wanting a picture, my head shot for instance.
It was what happened next that sent my world spinning. We went into the rehearsal room to audition, just like I did five years ago when I got the part of Toto. I heard Riley’s name called and Mom tied me to a chair. Everyone had made a terrible mistake. Surely they didn’t actually want that big red bumbling mutt. Oh, the injustice! The travesty! What has this world come to! I tried to drag the chair out to the center of the room to make sure they saw me and realized their horrendous error. Someone grabbed my leash and stopped me. Pulled up short I barked and was ignored. Then Riley proceeded to embarrass me as he usually does. While it is true that he sat nicely and stayed and came when told, and while it is also true that he gave quite a nice bow, he was jumping all over people and I think he may have even frightened the little darling who was sent out to be his victim. Just when I thought she had had enough, someone brought her a chair, where she sat and sang prettily to him. He didn’t exactly sit still while she sang, but when she was done he did show her how much he appreciated her singing by groveling all over her. I don’t think she liked that either. He does weigh quite a bit you know, far more than a one stone schnauzer. In fact, he is probably at least three stones plus a lot of pebbles thrown in.
When all the dogs except me were done auditioning we were told that there were more dogs auditioning tomorrow and everyone would be notified of the results. Now that I have had more time to think about it, I am thinking that they will simply call me to come be the star without even so much as an audition since they already know what an awesome performance I give. They must just be doing this stupid human thing of being “fair” but I think it is just building up false hopes.
I will wait for the call and act surprised when Mom tells me I got the part. He, he. Won’t all those other dogs be surprised!
Lexi, the thespian