December 28, 2012
Hello my adoring fans. Once again, pet therapy day arrived. Why do people always ask if I am going to get therapy? Do they think I need it? Surely not! I am going to GIVE it. Ughh. People can be so frustrating when they aren’t petting me and giving me treats.
First thing in the morning Mom plopped me in the sink and gave me a bath. Good grief, can’t I at least wake up a bit more before the torture begins? I endured it for the sake of the children. I love the children. I love seeing them smile. I smile at them, too.
Then Mom found out that our friend, Mary Gardner, couldn’t take me because she had company and something about rats. Mom said, no Mary Gardner didn’t have rats. Mom claims M.G. just SAID “rats!” as in, “Rats, I can’t take Lexi today.” But I still think she had rats and that is why she couldn’t take me. If she had just come and gotten me, I could have helped her out. I am a ratter breed, you know. That, by the way, is why Mom won’t get a guinea pig. She thinks I will… ummmm… yep I probably would. Yummy!
So Mom ended up taking me to the hospital and the kids and I smiled at each other a lot. I sat in their beds and presented my rump and they knew what to do. I can tell who has dogs at home because they are the best petters. They know which spots to hit and how to hit them juuuuust right.
I guess that’s all I have to say today. Everyone stay warm. I have my own natural winter coat since mom doesn’t shave me in the winter. Please try to not be too jealous.
Lexi the warm schnauzer
December 19, 2012
Hey there! I am just wondering…has your family gone crazy too? Mom put all these neat new things around the house, including something that looks like a tree but doesn’t smell like one. All this stuff is sooooo tempting. How am I supposed to know it isn’t for me? Well, if I think really hard I would probably figure it out. I’ve heard the phrase, “sin in haste, repent in leisure” and I think that’s what I’ve been attempting; only the repenting comes mighty fast when Mom gets home and sees what I’ve done. The first time she was downstairs grooming a couple of little dogs and I found she had moved the thing she fondly calls – oops I mean called – Father Santa from the fireplace ledge to the floor. I naturally thought she had set it there for me. Wrong! I spent some time in my kennel after that while she picked up the pieces – there were probably about, well, I can’t count that high.
Riley found presents.
Mom finished putting all these neat-looking balls on the tree – she calls it a Christmas tree – and I had all day to play with them and the other big fun things on the tree. Then she came home and I had my dinner and things were going so well until she walked into the bedroom. Oooooo, she was not happy with what she saw all over the rug. She looked back at me and I knew I’d been busted. Then she walked into the living room and saw what was chewed up and left all over that rug. Up until then she had just been talking to me in that disapproving way she has and pointing at the tree and saying, “leave it, leave it” and I was hunching down with my tail between my back legs – heck, my tail is so long it was even between my front legs. She still put me out back in the fence and made me stay there for what felt like a very long time. I kept looing in the glass and whining and giving her my best pout face becaue it was dark and drizzly and I hate being outside by myself. It must have worked because she finally let me back in.
I just don’t understand about all this new stuff around the house. Maybe tomorrow I will check out something else while Mom is at work. Some of it just has to be for me!
December 17, 2012
Precious fans, I know you have been waiting with bated breath – or maybe that is kibble breath – to hear about my command performance on stage at the Tivoli. Let me just say it did not start out well. Mom and I went in the stage door and the doorkeeper – sorta like that guy with the big mustache and top hat who kept the door at the Emerald City – said, “That dog can’t be here.” Without missing a beat Mom said, “Yes she can.” He said, “No she can’t.” Mom said, “Yes she can,” the man said, well you get the picture. They finally called in the folks in charge and had a big discussion and looked at rules and you won’t believe this, no I couldn’t. It seems the place is owned by the city and I would have had to have permits from the Humane Society and the ASPCA and I think God himself. They said it is easier to get permits for fireworks than for animals. Everyone felt bad since they had, after all, invited me, so they said I could stay, I just couldn’t perform on stage. What was I to do…I’ll tell you what! Therapy! There were a lot of stressed-out people around there, and I didn’t waste any time. That sweet lady maestra was there and spent time petting me and talking so nice to me in her pretty voice. In fact the next day she gave Mom a Christmas card with my name on it too and asked why she didn’t bring me!
After about an hour or so my Dad showed up and I was so happy to see him. I had just finished my therapy work – and believe me, there were a lot of folks there who needed it – and he and Riley and I went home where I took a much deserved nap.
I didn’t tell Riley I wasn’t on the stage. Let’s keep that our secret, ok?
Lexi, the Tivoli therapy dog
December 14, 2012
Hello my loyal and awesome fans. Well, I did it again. Headline news: I am starring (Mom says appearing, I say starring) in the Chattanooga Symphony Opera’s Home for the Holiday Production at the Tivoli Theater this weekend. Saturday and Sunday. If you remember, I already did one gig for the Tivoli when I rode around with “Dorothy” in a pedicab to promote their Wizard of Oz symphony production. Anyhow, here’s how it all came down this time:
I went to work with Mom yesterday so that I could A. Hang out and get fed and pet and B. Go to one of the local hospitals to help make people there smile. A. happened, B. cancelled – odd, I’ve never had them cancel before, but something about the pet therapy person having knee surgery.
Mom had a Home for the Holidays production meeting that evening at the church where we work, and since I was itching for something to do, I followed along with her to the meeting. I was busy mingling and checking for food when the producer caught sight of me and without so much as an introduction, glance at my bio or anything, said, “I want
that dog in the show.” I am a natural, I have to admit. One look at me and someone in the know, just knows. I belong on the stage; it is like my second home. Adoring fans, treats, what more could any schnauzer ask for? Mom answered that yes, I am a stage dog, very happy and comfortable on the stage, and if he really wanted me (come on, Mom, didn’t he just say he did!?) that she would bring me. Other than running down the aisle (Mom thinks we are walking; won’t she be surprised) she said she doesn’t know what I am going to do after that while she is dancing, but the maestra (who fell in love with me last night at the meeting) could hold me. The producer said no, he wanted me to be able to run around. Woo hoo! I get to ad lib! I am really good at that, as I am at most things. I can’t wait! I will let you, my devoted fans, know just how it went and what I do on stage.
Lexi, the Tivoli dog
December 14, 2012
Here’s an update on the Riley might be on the stage fiasco. HE DIDN’T GET THE PART. Big surprise there. (Yes, we schnauzers understand sarcasm.) The really big surprise is that I didn’t get the part as Sandy in Annie, either. So what I didn’t audition. They should have known! Considering my considerable stage experience and talent, not to mention my last name is Sandy, I simply can’t believe it. What I do believe is that I hear the mismatched mixed breed that was chosen is bombing. I don’t mean to besmirch anyone’s reputation – he’s doing a good enough job of it on his own – but it seems that he’s afraid to be on the stage and won’t go to Annie, even when she implores him with treats in hand. Sure, I’m a bit short in stature, but if you remember my motto (one of many) “You’re as big as you think you are,” then you know I would have been perfect for the part. Everyone would have seen me as a big dog because that’s how I would have played the role! Heck, I already played Toto as a BOY and a CAIRN TERRIER.
Maybe next time…
Lexi Sandy, not Annie’s Sandy