February 11, 2014
Have I mentioned how much I love food? Except potato chips. And corn chips. I do not like chips. I don’t understand why people eat chips. But I am glad they do – that leaves more of the good food for me.

So I was at work with Mom and trolling around the office for what I could find of the edible variety. I usually check under my good friend Gail’s desk because there is often food around, albeit stale. Stale is OK as long as it isn’t chips. No luck there, so today I moved on to my good friend Susan’s office. Which is where I hit the mother load. There was a lunch sized white bag under her desk, and what was in it smelled just like I imagine heaven will smell. All yummy goodness. Glancing quickly around, I ascertained that I was, in fact, alone with this bag of delight. Concerned that Susan might be back at any moment, I firmly grabbed the top of the bag with my mouth and lifted it. It had a lovely weight with promises of great delights inside. With said bag gently swinging from my mouth, I started trot, trot, trotting for her office door. I got as far as the hallway and who should appear…time for a change of plans. We both stopped dead in our tracks, Susan with her mouth open, me with mine firmly closed. After only a moment’s pause, I turn on my heels and head for the other exit that goes into the break room, where we normally eat our lunches. Which is where she caught up with me. I opened my mouth and let that bag of deliciousness plop to the floor.

“”Fine, I thought, “you don’t want to share, just be like that. I know you always share with me, so I was just taking the initiative to save you the trouble.”

That’s when the stinger hit, as she said, “Oh Lexi, I always give you half my sandwich, and if you had just been patient, I would have been glad to share my lunch with you. But today you get nothing.”

I still got the pickle.

Lexi, the thieving schnauzer

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