I’m back to work

May 22, 2014

It’s official. Mom started a new job and what an exhausting two days I have had. There were stairs to climb and people to meet. Then there were treats and lunches to beg politely ask for. I know it would be correct for me to say, “for which to politely ask,” but I am just not that snooty. So no e-mails, please. Unless, of course, you attach treats to the e-mails. Huh, I’ve decided that’s going to happen when birds fly. Wait, I think the saying is pigs, not birds. But we are all aware that pigs are never going to fly, and I do want to allow a slight possibility that I will get treats as attachments. One never knows…

But I digress. I was talking about my exhausting first day at work There were only two other people working there, but they seemed needy of my attention, so I worked pretty hard all day long. Then there was the “keeping out from under the rolling chair” work that I had to do. That work goes like this: lay down either behind or next to someone who has a chair on wheels. Relax, but not too much. You have to stay alert for when that friggin’ chair comes inching toward you – or sometimes barreling at you. Jump up like someone just tried to set your stubby little tail on fire and quickly scoot out of reach. And that friggin’ chair moves a lot! So you can see how hours on end of this routine can really wear out a schnauzer.

After a hard day at work one would think that I would come home to a good home-cooked Mickey D meal. Ha! What do I get? Nope, not sweet Mickey D hamburgers and fries, nor even the sweet potato and salmon crap dog food that I have grown to loathe. It’s a new flavor, chicken and something, made by the same stupid company that made the other crap food. And it’s not any better. I find that by sneaking boldly approaching my brother Riley’s food dish in the downstairs hallway, I can fill up on his breakfast before starving all day because I won’t eat what is in my own dish. Mom doesn’t understand how my belly gets so big when I am starving to death from never eating from my own bowl. Yeah, I can wait her out on this one. Hmmm. Riley looks like he has been losing weight. I wonder if he is on a diet.

Lexi, the newly employed schnauzer

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