August 21, 2014
I knew the church where Mommy is working now had to have a kitchen. People have to eat, don’t they? Especially at church, people are always eating. So I just had to find it. I have been going to work with Mom a lot more, and on different days, because of play rehearsals. It is a lot more fun to go to the Episcopal church on Mondays and Wednesdays than on Fridays, when I usually go. There are a lot more people there on Mondays and Wednesdays, and some of them are working in the kitchen – with food. That’s how I found the kitchen. I could smell the food. I had to go out of my Mom’s office, up the stairs, down a hallway and through a big room. But I found it. I could smell cheese sandwiches and ham sandwiches. It was wonderful. I wish someone had given me some. It was almost suppertime, and I knew I was either going to have to push the treat ball around to get magic kibble or work for treats at the theater. It would have been much easier for everyone if someone would have just given me a sandwich.
I did have lunch with the pre-school workers. They are very nice ladies and they shared their lunches with me. I hope they are there the next time I go. The lady who works in the office next to my Mom brought me treats too. I like her a lot. She is my new friend. I wish someone would give a starving dog a sandwich.
Lexi, the hungry Episcopal dog
August 21, 2014
The scale came out this morning. I am two pounds heavier than last time. The magic kibble isn’t working. Mom doesn’t understand how I could weigh more. I’m not telling.
Lexi, the plus-size schnauzer
Working for my supper
August 5, 2014
I went to the doctor in May. I always go in May, the same month as my birthday. I think it must be a rule that you have to go for your yearly exam in the month you were born. Last year it was right on my birthday. This year, after, he poked and prodded and stuck me with needles, he declared I was overweight by three or four pounds. I think this is what is commonly called adding insult to injury.
So now Mom is saying things like, “I feel sorry for your new Dorothy if she has to carry you.” And, “I think you are panting because you weigh too much.” No, Mom. I am panting because it is 90 degrees outside and my hair is getting long so I can be Toto. That is what dogs do when they are hot, they pant.
I bet you know what happened next. That’s ok, I am going to tell you anyhow. I am on a cruel diet. Dad always feeds me in the morning before Mom gets out of bed, so I am ok there. I have begun to gobble down my breakfast so Mom doesn’t get up and take it away. It has the good canned stuff in it. Then there is my supper. Mom always feeds me my supper. She used to put the good canned stuff in it along with some kibble. Now she doesn’t even put food in my food dish. My poor lonely food dish. My poor lonely tummy.
Exhausted after working so hard for supper.
Do you know what I have to do now to get food in the evening? I have to push a treat ball around the floor and scarf up the kibble that falls out of it. Normally I would turn my nose up at plain kibble, but I think there is something – maybe magic – in the treat ball that turns it into treats. Last night I was almost done when Riley showed up and took my ball away from me. He pushed it with his big dufus T-Rex nose until the last of the magic kibble fell out and he ate it. That was my magic kibble dinner. I am Lexi, the magic kibble dog.
August 2, 2014
I’m off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. It is official…I am Toto again! It is at the same place as last time, the Colonnade in a city called Ft. Oglethorpe in a state called Georgia. I have been practicing vocalizing since I found out I am Toto again. Even my people brother Andrew came running up the stairs to “see what all the noise was about.” Mom said I was just telling her about my day, since it was one of those two days I stay home with Dad. I didn’t correct her, mostly because she hadn’t given me my supper yet, but she was wrong. I was working on my voice and expression for on stage.
I love being on stage. I have been practicing a lot of things on my own. Mostly barking. And projecting my bark. And acting like I haven’t been fed. And acting like I have to go out, then running to the kitchen when Mom gets up off the couch. That last thing is improv. Mom has started teaching me how to bow down for when the play is over. I keep thinking she wants me to lay down. She needs to be clearer with her signals. Sometimes Riley hears us working and comes in the kitchen and performs a perfect bow. Show-off dufus. Then he gets one of my treats. He is not in the play and does not need to intrude on our practice time.
I hope you can come see me. The play starts September 12th, so this is a limited time offer. I hear that all the time when the TV is on, and it always sounds good. I am once again Lexi-Toto.