I was supposed to Skype with Noodle last Friday, but I told him that I had to wash my hair. Now I feel bad. I miss my Valentine boy. I wonder if he would Skype with me this weekend… To help Noodle forgive me for breaking our Skype date last week, I am showing him this picture of me as a puppy. I was about eight weeks old here. Who can resist a puppy? Can someone put in a good word for me? Maybe ask him to look at this picture? I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
After having some time off from my downtown office, I am back to work.
Yes, I do look dead. That is part of my work. No one suspects anything until they try to enter. Bwaaahaha!
I am Lexi, the possum playing schnauzer.
I barked Mom into posting some pictures of when I last competed in Freestyle in 2012. She was very unclear with her signals, so I did a lot of what I wanted to do. Still, I was very excited about competing and taking third place. (No, Mom, I shouldn’t tell them there was only three dogs competing in that category!)
Here we are taking our opening bows. I am watching Mom for my first cue to get started dancing.
I am so excited!
Moving fast, isn’t my beard beautiful?
Here, I execute the under the leg weave as we keep moving forward.
We are doing an Electric Slide move here to my left.
My wonderful friend Noodle gave me the best Valentine’s Day ever. You can get to know Noodle better by visiting his blog: https://noodle4president.wordpress.com
What a wonderful, incredible day I had with Lexi!
It started when I picked her up at her house. Lexi told me she doesn’t like icky heart candies with writing on them so I had to get super creative. All dogs love one thing: BACON! So, I put my skills to work (by asking mom), and got a bouquet of bacon roses to give her:
All ready to go, I got in the car and drove to her house in Tennessee. It was a long drive but it was SO worth it. After a quick “hello” to her Mom and Dad, and making sure her “roses” were safely hidden, we were off to NYC!
We went straight to Central Park for our picnic and bird/squirrel chasing:
And then, we topped the day off with some dancing at a local club:
I had such a great time with Lexi. The…
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I have a good life. It’s because I have everyone trained. I used to go to work with Mom only on Thursdays. Now I go to the church to work on Wednesdays and Fridays and to her other office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I know my days and am always ready to go. We all stay home on the weekend, so that’s ok. On Mondays I stay home with my Dad. It took a while, but he is finally trained. He gets up very early and lets me out to do my potty. Then he feeds me, always adding the special topping to my kibble. I usually go back to bed for a few hours, then get up in time to pester Dad politely ask Dad to let me out and then to give me my mid-morning treat. A little later I join Dad for lunch and another trip outside. At 1:00 sharp Riley and I accompany Dad down the driveway to the mailbox and get our get-the-mail treat. If someone else has already brought up the mail, we still get our get-the-mail treat. It is only fair. At 3:00 I get my after-school-treat. I always remind Dad if he forgets. Of course I do not attend school, but The Boy does, and I think he gets out of school sometime around 3:00. That is a good time and reason to ask for a treat, as well as to go back out.
It is never too late in the day to practice dominance. Here is how to practice at bedtime with your dad:
I have also taught Dad about the “schnauzer portion.” No matter what he eats, I get a bite. That is, unless it is too spicy and will cause my tummy problems, then he “looks out for me.” That means I don’t get my schnauzer portion. Sometimes at lunch he forgets if he gave me my schnauzer portion and I get another one. I never admit to the first one –
I always want more I wouldn’t want him to feel badly that he forgot.
At supper I sit at the table with Mom and Dad. Unlike on my birthday, I do not get my own plate. Mom usually gives me something, and Dad, as I said, is trained to give me the schnauzer portion. I think I have Mom trained too; if it looks like Dad is going to finish without sharing, Mom says, “Did you give Lexi her ‘schnauzer portion?’”
Some of my wonderful new friends get a bit stressed when their moms leave for work in the morning. I know it is because they have been abandoned earlier in their lives. Friends, I hope you see this and understand that your forever mom will be back, and until she returns, you have all day to work on training your dad. He will appreciate the closeness, the interaction, and knowing he is learning to do everything exactly how you want it done. Tip: Be sure the house is stocked with plenty of treats before you begin the training. Sometimes, he will even beg your mom to take you to work with her. I am sure it is so she can benefit from your training techniques as well. Either way, you win.
I am Lexi, the trainer.
Mom was going to ground me from my Valentine’s Day date because I did something naughty at work on Thursday. Thanks to pleas from some of my friends, she changed her mind…and came up with a new punishment. Personally, I don’t think Moms should be allowed to punish their schnauzers. However, she said no one could arrest her for dog cruelty for what she did.
I have to dog-sit my schnauzer cousin Piper. That meant I couldn’t go to work with Mom on Friday. I thought about making my Dad suffer all day for what Mom did, but decided I would play it cool, hoping they would remove this punishment sooner. Nope, he’s still here. Piper was supposed to go home tonight, but now he’s not leaving until Monday night. He eats my food, sleeps in my bed, and snuggles with my Mom. And now Riley is acting like, “Hey Piper buddy, so glad you are back! Let’s play!” At least I get to visit with my Auntie Jen when she picks him up tomorrow night! And I still have my Valentine date with Noodle. Yea!!!
I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.
I am looking at my Dad who is eating cake while Mom forces me to lay on my back as she combs the mats out of my beautiful hair. They are constantly finding crueler ways to torture me.
Noodles, in answer to your question, YES. (As long as it doesn’t mean we are married or anything.) :}
So, my little cat buddy, Purrince Siddhartha Henry, has convinced me that I should ask my crush to be my Valentine.
1) Yes, it is true – I have a cat buddy. A few in fact!
2) Yes, I have a doggy crush.
I’m really nervous that she might say “no” so if you wouldn’t mind sending some positive vibes this way, it would be greatly appreciated.
The stupid Super Bowl is on. Before that the even stupider Puppy Bowl was on. Everyone is ignoring me. Good thing I saved my breakfast. I might not have been given any stupid dog food to ignore tonight. If that wasn’t bad enough, Mom gave me a bath. She spilled powdered sugar on my beautiful hair and it got all sticky. I got cold from the bath, so now I am wearing my stupid hoodie with the silver reflective strip down the back. I hate my hoodie. It’s not been a good day.
I learned that all the dogs (and cats) that Noodle nominated for a special award won. You win just by being nominated. I guess that’s ok, ’cause then no one feels bad about losing. I still don’t quite understand how we can all win, though. Mom says we are all winners because we are very good dogs and cats with loving homes. I think I will just go with that. Now I am supposed to nominate my furry friends for the award. I will try to think of other dogs – and cats – I know with blogs. Hmmm. This may take a while.
All this thinking has gotten my mind off of treats, and I have only gotten one today, my go to the mailbox treat.
Speaking of treats, I ate a Chinese fortune cookie and got a fortune. It said, “People enjoy having you around. Appreciate this.” That fortune must have been in that cookie especially for me. Inside my head I am smiling thinking about it. Now I have to go campaign for my supper.
I am Lexi, the fortunate.
P.S. My friend Noodle posted a picture of him looking so handsome that I had to add one of me looking extra-pretty. What do you think?
Cartoons by John Atkinson. ©John Atkinson, Wrong Hands
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