Mom gave me a bath early this morning, then she took me to the doctor. Don’t they do enough nasty things to you without having to get a bath first? Yes, the requisite glass stick was stuck up the you-know-what. Then the nice lady doctor checked my back leg, driver’s side, that has been bothering me for a long time. It goes out from under me sometimes, and I have trouble jumping up on the furniture and, worst of all, my kitchen table chair. Mom has been cleaning yellow discharge from right eye, so she checked that too and said the retina thing looked very good. She listened to my heart and said it sounded strong. I have started shaking my head and scratching at my left ear, so she looked in it, too. The lady doc said she wanted to take an expensive x-ray of my leg, and the extra benefit of it was that she could see all my internal organs, too. Eewww. That just sounds gross, and I have no idea why Mom was so enthusiastic about it.
Results: I have one luxated patella. Dr. Sally said it was not genetic or they would both be like that. More likely, I injured it at some point in the past, and neither Mom nor I even knew about it at the time. It was probably when I jumped off the kitchen counter onto the hard tile floor. Don’t ask. Or it could have been when I jumped off the dining room table. Don’t ask. Or when Mom dropped me on my head in a store onto the hard concrete floor when I was eight weeks old. Oh wait, I jumped out of the buggy and landed on my head. Nope, that didn’t hurt my leg. Whatever caused it, it’s there and not going away.
In the xray she also saw a stone in my bladder. I did not eat any stones, I promise. My heart and my liver are slightly enlarged. So now what?
Dr. Sally said the number one thing that would help everything is for me to….are you ready for this….lose weight. Four or five pounds.
Mom has a lot to do to take care of me now:
1. Eyes and ears are probably allergies, so she got a medicine like Claritin that I have to take every day. That means more treats, like coconut oil! I can see I am getting around this diet already. She also has to put special drops in my ears every day.
2. Because of the stone in my bladder I can now only drink distilled water. I wonder if that is like moonshine. Mom bought a gallon jug of it, then went back and got two more gallons to take to each of our work places. I have my very own water!
Mom has to start giving me a shot of adequin in my back leg twice a week. She said it cost more than the x-rays, but I am worth it. 🙂 After a month I get it in one month, then every three months. I hope Mom can remember all this. I am to keep taking my fish oil pill and my dasuquin, which are both good for my internal organs as well as my joints. And they taste good, so I still have those treats, too. I am supposed to go on walks or swim a lot to keep building up the muscles in that leg. Not to procrastinate, we left the vet and went on two short walks on the way home. The temperature was in the 80’s with high humidity so we couldn’t walk for too long. Pooh, who needs to exercise when I can have fun walking? I must have read a dozen different stories along the way.
To help my heart and liver, I am not allowed to drink alcohol – that’s ok, I have my very own non-alcoholic Kahlua. But because I have to lose weight I am not allowed to have that sugary goodness. Again, with the weight loss thing. Daddy said the vet has a stamp for my chart that says, “lose five pounds” that she uses every time I go to see her. That is so not funny, Dad.
Oh, and I have plaque on my teeth. Dr. Sally: “Didn’t I give you a tool to remove the plaque from Lexi’s teeth.” Mom, looking sheepish: “Yes, but I’m not good at it. I will try again.” Dr. Sally: “If I have to do a dental, I will remove the big fatty tumor on her chest at the same time.” So now they are planning a chest reduction. OMD, what is next?