Please Be Careful

I saw this and thought I should warn everyone who lives with a cat. Please be careful.

In case you couldn’t read what’s on this picture, I will tell you, ’cause it’s impawtant:

Bringing you dead animals: This isn’t a gift, it’s a warning.

Staring contests: If you get caught in a staring contest with a cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.

Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter: When your cat does this, it’s actually a failed ambush.

Kneading on you: You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Hiding in dark places and watching you: Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.

Throwing up grass: Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their bodies and minds for combat.

Sleeping on your electronics: Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.

Pawing at your face while you sleep: Cats aren’t very good at smothering people, but this won’t keep them from trying.

Excessive shoveling of kitty litter: After using the litter box, your cat endlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.

MOM: Lucy! What are you doing? Don’t you know a lot of our friends are cats? What about Siddhartha Henry, or Madi, or Shoko? Do you think they are like this?

What? They’re cats?

MOM: Of course they’re cats. What did you think they were, dogs?

Well…. *shame-faced* I, I guess I never thought about it. I mean, they’re nice and I like them and I never thought about them being any different than me. I hope I didn’t offend anyone.

I am Lucy, the apologetic.

23 thoughts on “Please Be Careful

  1. Lucy, I am a cat too and I don’t ever plot against humans or even dogs. If I did, who would take care of me and what big brother doggy, Buddy, would be looking down at me from across the rainbow bridge to protect me and my human? We love dogs and cats and all other furry creatures at our house. No discrimination here. But we will forgive you this mistake. You might need to meet a few cats to learn that you like them too.

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    1. Patzy, I think you are the best. I just didn’t realize you and so many other of my friends were actually cats. I made a huge mistake because I was mislead by fake news! I would purr at you if I could, so I’ll just wag my tail. ❤ ~Lucy

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    1. I don’t know whether to hope that Andy and Dougie weren’t offended or to hope they aren’t plotting to kill you, Mr. Doug! ~Lucy

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      1. No problem, Amy, they remind me regularly that I am made of meat, and I remind them regularly that there are places in the world where my kind think cat make a good meal! LOL!

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  2. Bwahaha! I’m sure more than one person has thought those same things about cats, Lucy (and I confess I did laugh at some of those thoughts). We all too often tend to focus on differences rather than our similarities, especially these days of tribalism. But we all know your heart is sweet and pure.💖

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    1. Thank you Miss Monika, you are very kind. I learned first of all to not believe and react to everything I read, and second of all not to post a blog without asking Mom about it first. 🙂 ~Lucy

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Madi (D Cat), I am so glad you are still my BFF. But, Madi, you don’t really do these things to practice to kill your Mom, do you? *shudder* ~Lucy

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  3. Hari OM
    BOL… oh dear Lucy, you may have put your paw in it … but I am sure that those who know and love you will find forgiveness – and the funny side – in their hearts! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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