Is It Before the End of the Month?

Lucy: Hey Xena, whatcha doing? Are you hunting lizards again?

Xena: Nope. Didn’t you hear what brother Andrew said?

While we were all gone, there was a giant anaconda in our yard. It was wrapped the whole way around the shed. I’m trying to find it.

Lucy: Xena, dear sister of mine, there are no anacondas in Tennessee. And the snake was wrapped around the 3 foot section of door under the shed, which means it was at least 6 feet long. He thought it might have been waiting for a rodent.

Xena: OK. smarty pants, so he said it looked like a copper head. That just doesn’t sound scary enough for a good story. He thought it might have been hunting rodents like I do. He used his hands to show us how big around it was, and I’m sure a can of peas would have fit. It was that big around! (OK, so maybe it was as scary as an anaconda.) He also said he ran screaming like a girl back to the house.

And you know what else? He ran around to the front of the house and the other bush out there where I hunt lizards was shaking and making groaning noises. Seriously! That’s what he said! I’m not making it up. And we all know it wasn’t me in that bush because I was in Ohio getting my Freestyle title with Mommy and Daddy.

Now, I’ve got something really important to ask you, Lucy.

Lucy: No, I haven’t heard the refrigerator open lately.

Xena: No, no, this is about when something is. Daddy said he would have my Freestyle video ready before the end of the month. Is it before the end of the month yet?

Lucy: Uh, it’s not the end of the month yet.

Xena: That’s not what I asked. I don’t know when Before the end of the month is. Does that mean the same thing as today?

Yes, I think that’s right.

Then it’s ready! Hurray!

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, it’s Before the end of the month. That’s the day Daddy promised to have my Freestyle video done. Go get my video from Daddy! Please! Please! Please!

(Mommy under her breath) Oh boy, how do I even begin to explain this one to her.