We’re leaving in a fast car…don’t know when we’ll be back again.*

Xena: It’s been quite a visit. I learned a few things, like what it’s like to have unwanted attention, how to let someone down easy, how good pig poop tastes…speaking of which…

three days ago in Auntie Jen’s back yard

Mom: Xena, stop eating that grass and come on in the house….Xena….do you hear me?? Xena!
Mommy walks toward me and sees this (WARNING: The next picture contains a poop image and may not be appropriate for all readers)

Yep, real, fresh pig poop. Mmmmm

Mommy: OMG, you’re eating pig poop!
Xena: Don’t freak, Mommy. Wait, why are you texting Auntie Jen? No, please don’t make me vomit, I won’t do it again (paws crossed).
As it ended up, I wasn’t forced to vomit and my tummy never even got upset! However, a couple of days later, Lucy also discovered these delectable morsels. Mommy suspected Lucy had eaten some, but since I didn’t get sick, she didn’t do anything about/to Lucy. Then at 2:58 a.m. Mommy woke up to a retching sound. One of the big dogs jumped off the bed and there was a vomiting sound. The culprit jumped back in the bed and acted like nothing had happened. Mommy finally got up and turned on the bedroom light. She saw a pile of fresh-ish meat, apple, broccoli, and some unidentifiable matter. . yep, it was Lucy’s. After that, she began cleaning the yard up every day and following us around outside.

Xena: Yesterday when Mommy opened Morty’s Bathroom Apartment door for him to come out for supper, she found this:

That’s Morty’s Teddy facedown in Morty’s used litter. Did Teddy need to go potty? Or maybe he was hungry!

Xena: That takes us to today, and boyfriend drama. *sigh*

heard very early this morning…

Achilles: I wish you wouldn’t keep your back to me, Lucy

Lucy: I wish you wouldn’t flirt with my little sister.

Later in the morning:

Ella: Hey girl. I hear you’re leaving soon. Love you, friend.

Lucy: Hey girl. I love you too, friend.

Xena: I’m sorry, Achilles, that I hurt your feelings. I want you to know it’s not you, it’s me. I just want to stay single and close to my Mommy.

Why are you looking over my shoulder, Achilles?

Achilles: Lucy! I’m so glad to see you! Ignore her. You’re my girlfriend, remember?

Lucy: Goodbye, Achilles. I’ll see you next time. I’m going to have to think about our relationship.

Achilles: Why do girl dogs have to make it all so difficult? I’m a good boy. Everyone says so. Xena is just…different. She looks and acts so different than me or Lucy. That’s why I keep looking at her. Maybe next time I can just look at Lucy and she’ll be happy.

Xena: Uh, Mommy, after my shampoo and blow dry and pedicure, I’m ready to go home and cuddle in my daddy’s lap. I’m even ready to play with Chia. I hear she and Riley have been playing a lot while we’ve been gone. I also heard she managed to get the porch screen door open and had a bit of a runabout.

Are you packed? Are we ready to go? I call dibs on the backseat kennel!

*John Denver, I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane lyrics:

All my bags are packed I’m ready to go I’m standin’ here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye But the dawn is breakin’ It’s early morn The taxi’s waitin’ He’s blowin’ his horn Already I’m so lonesome I could die So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go ‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go There’s so many times I’ve let you down So many times I’ve played around I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing Every place I go, I’ll think of you Every song I sing, I’ll sing for you When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go ‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go Now the time has come to leave you One more time Let me kiss you Then close your eyes And I’ll be on my way Dream about the days to come When I won’t have to leave alone About the times, I won’t have to say Kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go ‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go But, I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go.