The War on the Stuffies

Lucy, Ace Reporter, coming to you with breaking news. Our house’s Dog Nation has declared war on the Family Stuffies.

There were small incidents beginning before the Thanksgiving holidays. An antler here, an ear there. Mom had been in bed sick for a few days with a bad cold, so at first it was all chalked up to boredom. And, as usual, the stuffies were easy targets. Riley’s stuffie, Ratty D, lost his nose in one incident. Mom super glued it back on. And, as usual, Chia was blamed.

Chia: Excuse me, Ace Reporter Lucy! I didn’t do it! I really didn’t! Really!

Yes, that’s what Chia claimed the entire time, but no one believed her. Then we found out she was telling the shocking truth!

Last Friday Christmas decorations and stuffies had been brought down from the attic, including Christmas Reindeer. Chia immediately claimed the reindeer (NOT Riley’s reindeer, Rainey) and carried it everywhere through the house with her. I was carefully watching, waiting to catch her in the act of wanton destruction, but all seemed quiet (OK, maybe not exactly quiet) on the home front.

Then, one evening when brother Andrew was here, Riley walked into the living room with his reindeer Rainey’s head!!! Mom gasped in shock and Riley wagged his tail. He had beheaded one of his best friends, the only stuffy he had never harmed. This was going on two Christmases that Riley had loved and cherished Rainey, and now this! WARNING: Picture of graphic violence to follow:

All the stuffing had also been removed from Rainey’s body.

Mom was getting ready to give Rainey a proper burial in the garbage can when brother Andrew, always quick on his feet, stuffed all the stuffing back into the lifeless body, and set it, with the head on top, on the kitchen counter. His ploy worked. Mom, an excellent seamstress, sewed the gaping neck wound closed and reattached Rainey’s head.

We think Rainey will be disabled the rest of his stuffy life. He can no longer hold his head in one position, but it flops down or to the side. This reporter wipes away a tear as I continue to report that Rainey’s first request was to be near Riley. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing.

This reporter was wrapping it up when Racky D asked to be able to say something on the record. Go ahead, Racky D.

Racky D here. As you can see, I’ve been the the victim of stuffy abuse. After the Mom super glued my nose back on a week or so ago, I thought, great, I’ve still only got one eye, but at least I can smell again. Then, out of nowhere, Xena bit off my nose. Of course, Chia got blamed at first, but the truth always comes out in the end. And that’s all I’ve got to say.

Lucy: Wrapping it up, I see that we still have a large contingent of stuffies on the victrola. Hey there friends. You’ve been up there a long time. Is there something you want to say?

Hey there Lucy, Ace Reporter. This is Chippie, appointed spokes chipmunk by our leader Guru Larry Lemur. The six of us have fled as refugees from the environment that has turned hostile toward all stuffies. And we want to say we were appalled at what Riley did to Rainey. We plan to stay up here where it’s crowded but safe. A kind person has given us our own Christmas tree, and, like I said, we have sought refuge here where it’s relatively safe. We aren’t having fun anymore, but at least we have our stuffy lives. And Santa Paws knows where to find us.

That wraps it up folks. I hope to be back to you soon with news of peace in our Dog Nation, good will toward stuffies.

Lucy, Ace Reporter, signing off.

36 thoughts on “The War on the Stuffies

  1. Chaplin: “Ahh, this takes me back to the days when Dennis was here and there were stuffie parts strewn all around the house. These dogs we have now, they’re pikers compared to Dennis when it comes to destuffing.”
    Java Bean: “Sorry, we’ll try to do better in the future to live up to Dennis’s standards.”
    Chaplin: “You can try, but I know you will fail.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pet animals are indeed beautiful; maybe even more precious and innocent than humanity collectively deserves.

    Though I’m more of a ‘cat person’, I believe that along with human intelligence comes the proportionate reprehensible potential for evil behavior, i.e. malice for malice’s sake. While animals, generally being of lower intelligence than humans, can react violently, it is typically due to distrust or fear. Leave it to humans, however, to commit a spiteful act, if only because we can.

    Contrarily, I find that with our four-legged friends there’s a beautiful absence of that undesirable distinctly human trait.

    It’s also hard not to notice how unusually nice people with, for example, Down Syndrome are — all to their credit, of course — when compared to the average, or above, IQ population. I doubt it’s coincidental. [This additionally brings to mind a really beautiful movie I once had the pleasure of watching, starring Harrison Ford, titled “About Henry”. And of course there’s “I Am Sam”, with a talented-as-usual Sean Penn.] …

    My mother has always maintained that, “Humans are the real ‘animals’; it’s the animals who are human[e].” For so long, domesticated animals have been abused and discarded like trash if they were not adored by some animal lover.

    Ironically, this cruelty occurs while the abusers are ignorant to the healthy reciprocal relationship — some animal lovers would even go as far as to describe it as somewhat symbiotic — existing between animals (many of us see them as family members) and their loving and appreciative human hosts, especially physically and/or mentally ill hosts.

    Whenever I observe anxiety in the facial expression of my aging mother, a typical senior, I can also witness how that stress suddenly drains and is replaced with joyful adoration upon her cat entering the room: “Hi, sweetheart,” she’ll say.

    I know that countless other seniors with pets also experience the emotional benefits of their animals’ presence. (Of course, the animals’ qualities, especially an un-humanly innocence, makes losing that pet someday such a heartbreaking experience.)

    Many of us can appreciate the reciprocally healthy — perhaps even somewhat symbiotic — relationships that can exist between pets and their loving and appreciative human hosts, especially physically and/or mentally ill hosts. They have a beneficial influence over humanity that many people still cannot fathom; and this beautiful reality of their positive effect on their human hosts can also be beneficial to the animals themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HURRAH Brothur Andrew!!!! You are THE Save-e-yur of Rainy!!!
    Well dun Miss Amy doin surgery an savin Rainy ❤
    An Riley mee hopess you leerned a lesson inn Hue-mill-itee an Furgiveness from Rainy……
    Now on to you Xena,,,what inn THE name of Sky Cat an Sky Poochie were you doin??? An framin Chia two???
    Iss apposta to bee THE Seeson of Givin; not framin yore Sistur!
    Lucy what iss happenin there? Wee furry wurried fore ALL THE Stuffiess now….
    Chippie it musta been a momint of madness….pleese stay safe!
    Lucy that was a GRATE reeport…..
    Keep yore eyess open 😉
    ***nose bopss*** BellaDharma an ((hugss)) BellaSita Mum

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry, BellaDharma, but Rainey’s MY stuffie and I can do what I want to him. Riley
      Well, I didn’t actually INTEND to frame Chia. I was just lucky for a while that it worked out that way. XOX Xena
      So far, no more aggression toward stuffies. The Mom

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Uh, I didn’t mean to sound mad at you Bella Dharma. I could never be mad at you. I guess I just get upset at everyone telling me I can’t deadie my stuffies, ya know? You’re a good kittie, and I think the world of you! *wags* Riley

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Sounds like a war zone in your house! We have been pretty lucky as Jakey has retired from Stuffy-cide. He was the expert at stuffy-cide. Sunny and I torture the stuffies(shaking side to side and throwing them around), but they still have their stuffing and limbs.

    We hope you all come to some understanding soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You need a trauma center for the injured stuffies. Our Angel Little Bit wasn’t kind to stuffies either.

    Have a woof woof day and weekend. Scritches all around and my best to your mom. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nice saves and work by Mom. Rainey and Racky D have to be happy to still be available for snuggling and loving. Stuffie Nation will go on a bit of a pause now, reassess, and then decide the best way forward to enjoy the holidays in peace…and with love for all.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. this post could have been written by Stephen King! violence/carnage/things that go rip in the night or day…. glad you had an in house doctor to repair poor Rainey… don’t worry guys, you are all NORMAL for the Canine Breeds

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like your house has become a hospital for injured stuffies. Thankfully your Mom is a surgeon and can perform plastic (or stuffie) surgery on most victims of abuse and return them to productive lives! FORTUNATELY for the stuffies that reside in my house, I have no interest in removing limbs or eyes or even noses. Mom seems very grateful that I keep a distance from them. Anything to keep Mom happy is my motto!

    Hugs, Teddy

    Liked by 1 person

  9. OMD!!! Such carnage!
    Glad Rainey has survived to see another day…or more!
    We had too much stuffie violence here…so now they only appear if petcretary can snoopervise.
    While Dalton isn’t without blame, Benji is the superstar stuffie destroyer. He gives no mercy, and worse yet, he sometimes eats bits and pieces…which is why we can’t have them…sigh…even rope creations are taboo…

    Liked by 1 person

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