FFF: The Show Opening by Lexi the Schnauzer

This is fiction in that I, servant of my dogs, have written it from the dog’s perspective. You will know what in it is true and what is my speculation of her thoughts and feeling. The final line has two connotations. As many know, we lost our Lexi in May of 2016.

The Show opened!

That’s me in the middle

Last night the show I’m in–the Wizard of Oz– opened and I got to perform on-stage for the first time ever! It was a Thursday night and there were a lot of older people, which was great, since I really relate to that age bracket. I have had lots of practice with my Grandma, after all. Dorothy was about to take me out on stage with the old-looking new leash she had gotten for the part when Jeffery the director said, “No. We aren’t using a leash.” You should have seen the looks on both my Dorothy and my Mom’s faces. Dorothy took a deep breath and I think Mom started praying. No one knew what I would do since I had never been able to show them that I am a born actor. We had rehearsed a lot and I knew my part and did it. When I first ran out to Dorothy on cue and the audience breathed a collective sigh of “Awwwwww,” that sealed it. I knew I had found my calling. I would have done anything to hear that again. Then when I stole the hot dog from the stick like I was supposed to do and everyone laughed, I knew I loved this job more than anything. Dorothy had treats hidden in her socks and gave me lots of them during the play. Mom helped by always waiting off-stage where I was supposed to run when it was time and she always had a treat for me too. I think I am in heaven.

LexiToto the happy Schnauzer

If you wish to join in Final Friday Fiction, follow the link here.

We Lost a Dear Friend

MAGGIE
August 2008-April 15, 2022.

2013: Maggie was 5 years old when she first started coming to Groomer Mom. She and her sister Dora were our neighbors down the road.

2018: Maggie and Dora used to come and stay with us sometimes when their Mom and Dad went on trips. The same as all of, she liked her tummy rubs.

2019: Even after they moved about 15 minutes away, Maggie and Dora kept coming to get beautified by Groomer Mom every four or five weeks. We always loved to see them coming.

2022: This picture of Maggie was taken earlier this year. She was having a lot of trouble with her back legs. She would wobble and fall down, and sometimes fall over backwards when she sat down. Groomer Mom held her a lot, and made sure she was supported and safe during her grooms.

Groomer Mom knew that it wouldn’t be long before precious Maggie crossed the rainbow bridge with help from her loving pawrents. We still love you, Maggie, and will see you someday on the other side.

With love to Maggie’s family, who gave her a wonderful 13 years.

Publicity Pictures: By Lexi the Schnauzer

This is the fourth in our series of blogs about when Lexi was the theater dog. In this one, she is just beginning to feel the importance of her new role as the star of the show…

Publicity pictures

PUBLISHED ON 

August 19, 2006

I got to go back to the Theatre Center and got interviewed by someone from a newspaper. I tried to answer some of the questions but I think the lady only wrote down what Mommy said. I had my picture taken a bunch with Dorothy. I decided I like having my picture taken and posed very nicely outside right next to Dorothy’s red shoes. All of her they got in the picture was her red shoes. Ha, ha, won’t she be surprised! The camera lady said I was very photogenic. What’s photogenic?

I sure hope some puppy doesn’t peepee on my picture!

When I was a young pup and having a great time chewing to shreds my potty paper, who would have thought that some day I would be featured in a newspaper?  Yep, there I am, posing so beautifully with Dorothy on the front page of the Lifestyle section of the Chattanooga Times Free Press. Maybe the lady will give some of the pictures to my Mommy and she will put them on my web page.

I followed Dorothy everywhere during rehearsal. I was soooo excited to see her. She came over to my house last week and played with me. Then she came back another day just to take me for ice cream. I wonder how she knew I love ice cream best of all? She is my special friend now. I heard her talking to Mommy about coming to see me again. She is going to come pick me up from my Grandma’s. Dorothy said something about taking me on TV with her. That sounds so silly. Why on earth would she want to be on a TV? I hope I don’t have to sit on the TV. It is up a little too high and I might fall off. I am not a cat, you know.

I love rehearsal now. I get lots and lots of treats. And lots and lots of petting and “good girls”. But especially lots of treats. Everyone is very impressed that I bark when Mommy tells me. Once she remembered the right word to tell me to bark, I understood and now I bark every time she says it. It goes back to me learning to “stay” while we were at the park. First Mom would tell me to “heel,” then “sit,” then “stay.” When it was ok for me to get up again, Mom would say, “free!” The first thing I would do when she said “free” was to jump up and bark, then take off running. So now when Mom wants me to bark, all she has to do is say “free!”

It is late and I want to go to bed now. I always get a treat at bedtime!

Woof, woof! (And a special woof at the witch’s old hat!!)

LexiToto

Being Toto Isn’t Easy: By Lexi the Schnauzer

We’re very thankful to Fivesibes for hosting Flashback Friday! This is the third in our series of blogs about when Lexi was the theater dog. In this one, rehearsal has just begun for her new role as the star of the show…

Being Toto isn’t easy

PUBLISHED ON 

Man, easy street is over for LexiToto (me). I have to go to rehearsals and get dragged out to Dorothy where she always picks me up. I’m not liken that at all. I have to memorize my lines – mostly woof! It’s getting the knack of when to say “woof” especially after a life-time of being told to stop barking.

But then everything changed. Dorothy came to my house! and she played ball with me! and she played platy (platypus) hand puppet with me! and she took me for a walk! and she gave me new treats! She even understands dog-speak!! And she sang to me too! I heard her tell Mom she’s not going to pick me up any more because I don’t like it. Ya know, maybe she’s ok after all. Then we went to the meat market and the butcher came out to see me and brought me a big bone. It is so big I can hardly lift it, and boy oh boy is it good!

Mom got me this super yummy treat that is soft and tastes like peanut butter. She keeps making me roll over on my side before she will give me any. I don’t like that. It doesn’t feel right. She said something about poppies and looking like I am asleep. Right now, I am hoping she gives up on this “over” thing. What are poppies?

See y’all at the theatre soon!

LexiToto

I’m Toto! by Lexi the Schnauzer

We’re very thankful to Fivesibes for hosting Flashback Friday! This is the second in our series of blogs about when Lexi was the theater dog. In this one, she’s still preparing for her new role as the star of the show…

I might be Toto

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 

Oh boy, I aced my audition to be Toto in the local production of the Wizard of Oz. I am not quite sure what that means, but Mom said that a lot of people will love me. I like that, so I am going to work real hard with Mom before we go so I can be the best Toto ever. (What’s a Toto?) Now I know all my commands with just hand signals. I can sit and down and here and stay and heel and twirl. Mom has started telling me to bark, which is really confusing since she is always telling me to NOT bark. I wish she would make up her mind.

I went to Grandma’s this morning before Mom went to work, but the screen door was locked so Mom took me back home and I had to stay by myself all day. I didn’t even get my toast with jam from my Grandma. I made up for it by tearing something up and pooping upstairs. So there! It really seemed like a good idea at the time. But, when Mom came home, I felt bad because I knew I shouldn’t have done those things and I was afraid she would yell at me and call me a “bad dog.” I hate that. She didn’t yell or anything. She just picked it all up and then worked with me to get ready for this Toto thing. I got lots of treats, too. Hmmm. I think I like this Toto thing better all the time.

I will let you know when I find out what Toto is. Woof! Woof!

Lexi, now Toto too

Sunday Selfie Naps

The Mom: Since the girls were napping after a good breakfast, I helped them with their “selfies.”

If these sweeties were awake, I know they would send tail wags and wishes for a happy week.

Many thanks to  The Cat on My Head  for hosting Sunday Selfies!

Riley Paws Says So

Riley: Shhh, everyone take a nap. We need to rest up so we can go to bed early tonight. We want Santa Paws to come.

Xena: Y’all are joking, right?
I mean, why would you have to nap to go to sleep early?

Riley: Because Santa Paws says so.

Santa’s Elf: Wow! That came outa nowhere!

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas from Santa Paws Riley, his elf, Lucy, Xena and Chia (zzzzz…)

Stuffie Friends in Crisis on S.S.

Ludwig: Monkey, what are you doing laying here behind the chair? Are you hiding?

Monkey: No, Ludwig, Chia dumped me here, and I’ve just given up. I’m gonna die and no one can help me. She’ll rip me open the same way she did the tape on the back of that chair.

Ludwig: Stay right here, don’t move. *thinking: who should I get, who can help him? The stuffie Support Team!*

Lambie: Monkey, my dear friend, what’s wrong.

Monkey: I was hiding out on the big bed from Riley. It was working, too, ’cause he can’t get up there anymore.

I was happy, daydreaming about the good old days many years ago when the boys were little and played with me all the time. Yep, those were the good old days. The dogs, Sammy and Freda, were never interested in me at all. I just played with the kids all day.

And now, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna…

Lambie: Please stop saying that, Monkey. We all have our time, but it’s not your time yet. What’s wrong?
Monkey: Did you see what Chia did to Eleephant? I’m next.

Xena: That wasn’t Chia. Eleephant got these injuries long before even I was born.

It was probably Riley, and now he’s focused on loving his own stuffie, Reindeer. Ain’t it somethin’ what love’ll do? You need to stop this silliness and go play with your friends and stop interrupting my Sunday Selfie.

Lambie: Come on Monkey. Do you want to go play outside for a while?

Monkey: Maybe. Let’s go quietly while Chia’s sharpening her teeth on that bone. I don’t want to draw her attention to me. Or we could just sit here together and watch the birds and the squirrels and the people and dogs walking by. Thanks for being my friend, Lambie.

We are happy to join The Cat on My Head for Sunday Selfies.

Evie’s Story

Click on the picture to go to the FiveSibes website.

This is a story about a little dog and her cardiological-caused seizures. You can read about the difference between that and true epilepsy caused by neurological seizures here in this short and easy-to-understand article.

I had just lost my first miniature schnauzer, Freda, when I got word that a family needed a home for their little schnauzer. When I met them just off the interstate, the mother told me the dog was about nine months old and had a slight heart murmur. I never did get a “good” reason why they were re-homing her. I brought her home, and we renamed her from Daisy to Evie – our GSD was named Ara (short for Aragorn). I immediately made an appointment with my vet. At the exam, Dr. Sally got a worried look on her face and suggested I take her as soon as possible to UTK (University of Tennessee at Knoxville) vet school. There she was diagnosed with a class 4 heart murmur, about as far from “slight” as you can get and still have a live dog.

Evie’s professional portrait

Since little Evie didn’t have a strong ticker to pump that blood vigorously through her veins, she didn’t have much energy. She couldn’t jump up on the couch or even run through the house. Somehow Ara understood this. Sometimes when I took them out, Ara would run zoomies back and forth in front of Evie, slowing only slightly as he approached her. At that point she would grab ahold of the loose skin under his neck with her teeth and hang on while he ran around the lawn with her. Do you have the image in your head of a GSD running with a large tick swinging from his throat? Go ahead and laugh…that’s what it looked like!

Slowly in that first year with us, Evie began to develop other problems. I held her close to my heart as she experienced her first, terrifying seizure. Because her doctor was aware of her heart problems, she realized this wasn’t true epilepsy, which is caused by neurological problems. Evie’s seizures stemmed from cardiovascular problems. She was placed on anti-seizure medication, which reduced the frequency of the episodes. All we could do was hold and comfort her as these seizures continued throughout her short life.

We tried to help her have as “normal” a life as possible. She thoroughly enjoyed going boating with us.

I got to swim in the water with Ara.

She loved her big brothers.

That’s Sammy on the left. He wasn’t thrilled about another schnauzer in the house, but soon learned that Evie wouldn’t (and couldn’t) dominate him like Freda had.

And, like most pups, she loved to sprawl out in safety and comfort on the big bed.

Zzzzz

Evie had a “thing” for metal objects. Noting this, her loving grandparents bought her a set of old-fashioned metal measuring spoons that she greatly loved to chew on.

One day, shortly before we returned home from work, little Evie quietly left her kennel and her many illnesses behind as she passed over the Rainbow Bridge. She was only 19 months old. She was loved.

You can find your local Epilepsy Foundation and make a donation by clicking here.

Friday Freestyle

Hi everyone! Guess what I’ve been doing on the weekends…Freestyle training! I even got a new kennel to use when I’m at the Obedience Club of Chattanooga (OCC). I think Mommy laid it down on it’s side, he, he, but it still worked. Don’t I look pretty in purple?

Mommy said I get to stay in it for a while every time we are at training – and each time further away from her – so I don’t bark and carry on when we get to the Trial in May. Mmm hmm. sure Mommy, I’ll let you keep thinking that. Then surprise!

In our club there’s just me and Mommy and the little pug mix Nina and her Mom Julia. Julia is officially Mommy’s trainer. When she gets Mommy to do it right, everything works better…even me! This video is from the last time we were there rehearsing and learning better ways to do things. Please remember we are what’s called a work in progress. Heck, even the music is. Mommy edited the music and Daddy hasn’t gotten around to smoothing it out yet, so please don’t judge. I’ll have enough of that up in Cleveland, Ohio in May.

We hope you have a real good weekend with lots of together time.

Love and hops, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Recap of Our 2020 in Pictures

Our friend, Miss Monika from Tails Around the Ranch posted this picture, and gave us permission to show it to all our friends. It says so much about how we all feel.

A few of my favorite pictures/moments of 2020. ..

January 2020 (below) We were at our friends’ house in Nashville, blissfully unaware of how the year was going to play out.

February 2020 (below) We actually got some snow!

March 2020 (below) just before our world changed. We got pictures sent to us of Morty celebrating his first birthday.

April 2020 (below)

May 2020 (below)

June 2020 (below) Xena enjoyed turning 3 years old.

July 2020 (below) We got a baby in the home office and dogsat while our friends went on a trip.

August 2020 (below). We travelled to be with family in Indiana to celebrate Jeff’s Mom’s 90th birthday.

September 2020 (below). Still working in my home office with the help of Xena and Lucy. Our new back, enclosed porch was finally finished, and Xena found a way onto the table.

October 2020 (below) Lucy and Xena joined the Zoom service with B’nai Zion and became BarkMitzvah-ed. Lucy’s new Hebrew name is Ora (light or shiny), while Xena’s is Grrvurah (warrior, sort of). We took a trip to an Air B&B in Kentucky for our 12th wedding anniversary, and the pups stayed with our frineds in Nashville.

November 2020 (below) The weather was unseasonably warm and sunny. Our Nashville friends joined us for thanksgiving, and then we leftall four pups home with the dogsitter while we spent a long Thanksgiving weekend at an Air B&B in North Carolina.

December 2020 (below) OK, so the first one is still from November, but just had to include it. Riley is back with us for a while, and so is his Dad Andrew.

Have a very good 2021, from Lucy, Xena, Achilles, Ella, Morty, Riley and Amy

Where, Oh Where Could my Mommy Have Gone?

Xena: Last Friday was the anniversary of our folks being married for 12 years. We thought maybe there would be a party with presents and ice cream and cake. Instead, Mommy kept talking to me about what a good time I was going to have at my Auntie Jen’s and Uncle Bill’s. And she kept telling me to please try to be nice and cuddle with Auntie Jen, ’cause it hurts her feelings when I only want Uncle Bill to hold me. This all sounded very suspicious and I made no promises.

Lucy: Mom told me, too, at the last minute before we got in the car, and I was so excited! I was going to see my BFF Ella and my boyfriend Achilles! I could hardly wait!

Xena: It’s a three hour drive to the other side of Nashville, and our dinner was very late. By the time we got there I was so hungry that I was shaking and crying. It was two hours past my suppertime, and it wasn’t even our “fast” day.

Lucy: I was so over-the-moon excited when we got there that Mom couldn’t even get my car harness off me. Ella and Achilles and I immediately started playing. After we got our supper and settled down a bit, Xena hid in the chair with Dad. Me and Achilles had been playing kissie face, and he asked me to come over to my Dad with him, ’cause he wanted to ask Dad something.

That’s when Achilles asked Dad if he could marry me! I thought I would faint for joy. Dad thought about it for a very long minute, and finally said we could be engaged. I think that’s almost married, so I was really, really happy. Xena wants to be an old spinster, but I want to be happily married like my Mom and Dad.

Xena: I don’t know what a spinster is, but I don’t like the sounds of that and I don’t want to be one. I just want to be independent. Why do you think I hate my harness so much? So quit calling me mean names just because I don’t want to play kissie face with every boy dog that comes along. Grrr.
So back to our trip. Morty the pig has gotten so much bigger. He weighs about 70 pounds now, the same as Riley. I upset him by barking and jumping at him. Lucy and I went somewhere safe.

Is Morty gone?

Yep, it’s safe to get down.

*A little later*

Achilles: Mr. Jeff, I need to tell you something. Come closer.
Achilles: *smooch* You are the bestest ever almost father-in-law.

Next thing we knew it was morning and Mommy and Daddy were carrying suitcases and stuff and going out the door. I just knew she was leaving me when she picked me up and handed me to Uncle Bill. It was terrible. I was afraid she’d never come back.

She promised she would be back, but it has been so long. Lucy doesn’t seem to care. She’d be just as happy living here. I will let you know real soon what happens. Love, Xena the desserted.

Lucy: Oh Xena, you’re so melodramatic. But you’re probably right. You’ve got those dark spots now, and, well, who knows? (te, he, he) Love, Lucy

A Name for Baby Schnauzer Stuffie

I, Xena, am holding a contest to see who picks a winning name for our new schnauzer puppy stuffie. Whoever picks the best name gets a free trip to…

Lucy: Xena! Stop, just stop. I thought you were over this nonesense. You know you can’t give away a trip.

Hi, I’m the new schnauzer puppy stuffie and I need a name – a girl name. Would y’all please help me? Our Mommy is partial to “Sheila.” I’m not so sure, though.

So far, we have had the names Shira (or Shirah), Amelia, Max, Shania, Pilvi, Jasmine and Mrs. Mike suggested by our blogging friends. Plus two votes for Shelia. We are trying to decide. Your vote would be helpful, even if you don’t get a free trip anywhere. We are sure that next time you see me, I will be properly named.
In other news, Xena removed the stitch that tacked down my right ear. She’s helpful like that. Now we’re twinsies.

Do you like the one ear down, one ear up look? Sister Xena said it’s the latest fashion. I still can’t get my ear back as far as hers goes.

Now, if I could just get her slobbers off my furs.

Love, Lucy, Xena and Schnauzer Puppy Stuffie with No Name

Table Surfing

Mommy and Daddy have been eating outside on our new screened porch almost every day, sometimes twice a day. I’m a good girl and sit under the glass table or go play in the yard while they eat. But when the food is gone, all bets are off! I go to Daddy – he can’t resist me – and hop up and down or stand up and throw back my head until he picks me up.

I was sitting in his lap in front of the table not long ago when he got a phone call. Since he was ignoring me, I decided to do a bit of ‘sploring.

They sure didn’t leave much for me to clean up.
Nothing on this ledge either. If I was a cat, I would walk on it, but I’m not.
Hmmm, looks like a long way down.
I wonder what’s in that bag. Lilys? Who would put flowers in a bag?
I’ve heard the story of how Angel Lexi got hip dysplasia from always jumping off of things. I guess I’m stuck here ’til Daddy gets off the phone and helps me.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Our Grandma’s 90th Birthday

Hi friends! Like we mentioned on Monday, we went away for a long weekend. We rode for about 87 hours from our home in Chattanooga to Dad’s hometown, Fort Wayne, Indiana. We were going to celebrate our Grandma’s birthday. She will be a zillion 90 years old this month. She usually gets around in a wheelchair now, but her mind is really sharp and she loves us pups.

Lucy: I was at Grandma’s home in Ill-in- noise a couple of years ago, and she loves me most. Here’s a picture to prove it.

Xena: You’re full of bull bark Lucy. Grandma may have just met me, but didn’t you hear all the nice things she said about me?

Lucy: Bull bark? Bull bark?? Do you think you are swearing at me, Xena? Oh never mind. I want to talk about the trip, not argue with you. So anyway, every little and big space in the car was packed full. The trunk was full to busting, there was stuff packed on the floor of the back seat, and stuff under the passenger’s feet. Dad was planning on cooking a big Mexican meal for everyone…

Xena: Tell them who everyone is, Lucy.

Lucy: I will, but first I want to tell about the trip up. Everyone thinks I’m happy going on a trip, ’cause it looks like I’m smiling.

But the truth is, I get real nervous. Pretty soon I start panting. And I keep asking if we’re there yet. I even tried to climb into the front seat with Mom and Dad.

Mom finally stopped the car, put me in a harness and strapped me in so all I could do was sit or lay down. And pant. I got some of Xena’s special CB radio oil and that chilled me out for about an hour before I went back to panting.

Xena: It’s not CB radio oil, silly Lucy. It’s Sea Beady oil. It’s kinda like my Sea Rum, but I don’t have to get stuck with a needle, and I still get a treat with it.

Also, I was a “perfect child” the whole way there and back. I know I was, ’cause I heard Mommy say so.

Lucy: Yeah, sure. Anyhoo, on the way, we got detoured through a very rural area, down the backroads of Kentucky. All of a sudden, five teenager cows – I heard they are called calfs or maybe calves, but definitely not caves – scooted under a fence and walked into the road right in front of our car! Good thing Mommy saw them coming and slowed down. I saw them too, and got so excited that I started screaming at them. I wanted to get out of the car and make friends, but no one would unstrap me and open my door. We rolled along at the calfs’ (or calves’) pace for a short while until they all walked back onto the grass off the side of the road. We didn’t see a barn or a house or we would have stopped and told their mom and dad that their teenagers were playing chicken with the car.

We hadn’t gotten past the cows for long when Mom put on the brakes for a squirrel who decided he had the right of way. Shortly after that, a red fox ran across the road just up ahead of us. We think that might be a sign of good luck, when a red fox runs in front of your car and doesn’t end up under it’s wheels.

Xena: That was all the excitement on the way there. On the way back – yes, I’m jumping ahead, so don’t even say it, Luce the Deuce Lucy – a cat crossed the road a few yards up from the car. Mommy was driving and Daddy was resting his eyes. Immediately after Mommy said, “Oh, there’s a cat crossing the road,” she ran over a great big stick that made a crunching noise. Daddy’s eyes flew open, and I bet you know what he was thinking!

We finally got to a house, and got everything inside, including me and Lucy, and Mommy fed us an early dinner. I thought this was going to be great until we heard, “See you later,” and our peeps left in the car. Thankfully, there was a big chair in front of the window facing the road where I could lay for almost 87 hours to watch for them to come back. I wanted to be mad and tell and show them how upset I was at being left. But dagnabit, I was too happy to see them when they got back that night. And you won’t believe what happened the next day… yep. The. Same. Thing. Twice. There was a good part though.

I’m exploring the back yard and looking for critters.

The house was way, way, way, way out in the country and we had a ton of yard to run in and explore. And we went for long walks down the country road.

Lucy: Xena wants me to introduce everyone that Dad was cooking for, and who me and Xena finally got to visit with on Sunday night. Oh, and I found out that Bobbi and Jennifer are Dad’s sisters, and Josie is his niece.

Lucy: This is just a small part of the really wonderful big yard we got to run and play in. The peeps had put their chairs in a circle under a huge tree. I went around and greeted everyone, then Xena and me, we started playing. We went to the outside of the circle and played chase, round and round the circle of people, as fast as we could go. Sometimes we cut through the middle, too. It was kinda like tag. When one of us caught the other, we would turn around and change who was chasing who. Everyone seemed to enjoy watching us.

Xena: Then my Aunt Jennifer and her daughter Josie wanted to see some of the dance moves we do for Freestyle. Mommy ran in the house fast to find me some treats, and she grabbed the walnuts off the counter. Everyone seemed fascinated that I would eat walnuts. What stange people…why wouldn’t I eat walnuts? They’re yummy! Then Mommy and me, we got in the center of the circle and showed them a lot of our moves, including our special Viennese Waltz figure that I made up and that the judges loved!.

Lucy: Finally, it was time to make the long trip home. I panted the whole way and Xena was the “perfect child.” *sigh*

Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Baby Bridger on Awww Monday

Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting Awww Mondays.

Lucy: I love Bridger. He’s a tiny person. He’s like a little puppy. Except he doesn’t have any fur and he can’t walk. But boy, can he cry! He makes lots of other noises too, like giggles and churgles and murmerings.

Sometimes I lick his toes, and he doesn’t really react, but maybe he can feel my love and devotion Oh, did I forget to tell you who Bridger is? He’s Mom’s work helper’s pup, er, baby. He’s four months old now! I watch when his Mama changes his diaper. I might have to do that some day, you know, and I want to be prepared. Or I might get to eat it someday, and I want to be ready. Not that I’ll admit I’ve ever done that before.

Xena: Sometimes I hide behind Mommy’s chair when that baby is here. I’ve thought about turning off the computer so I can get more attention so Mommy doesn’t have to work so hard, but I can’t really do much with this cone of allergies surrounding my head. I sure hope Mommy hasn’t forgotten who her baby is.

I wonder which of these things turns off the ‘puter.

Sometimes I lay in my bed and sulk wait patiently for Mommy to notice me.

JenJen Bear keeps me company, and sometimes Elle and Oscar come by to cheer me up. Can you see Lucy reflected in the mirror behind me? Her bed is under Mommy’s table-desk.

I usually bark a lot when Miss Brooke and Bridger come in downstairs to go to the office. Today I slipped down quietly and greeted them nicely. I even went over to little Bridger to give a friendly wag hello. Mommy didn’t even know I was downstairs, I was so quiet, and Miss Brooke was impressed with my behavior. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any treats to give me. Unlike Lucy, I am not interested in a dirty diaper.

A little later when Mommy “went” to work downstairs, I went back down with her and did a repeat performance. Smile, wag, no bark. Mommy told me what a good girl I am. (I still didn’t get any treats, but I’m not giving up.) Mommy thinks the change in my behavior might be because of the CBD oil I am on to try to help with the itchies from my allergies. (CBD oil ordered from Miss Monika at Tails Around the Ranch. Check it out.) She doesn’t know that I’ve simply switched tactics.

Lucy: I don’t need drugs to be nice.

We also wanted to tell you that we just got back from a trip where we were stuck in a house by ourselves for 87 hours, almost ran over five baby cows and a red fox, and and got to schmooz with our peep relatives. Mom is going to help us post about that a little later this week.

Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Xena’s Story: A Party in Tyeland

“Sho, is everything almost ready for our goodbye party?” asked Tye. “I can’t wait! I know there will be good food, but what about games? Are we playing any games?”

“I don’t have any games planned,” replied Sho. “That’s your department. I’m sure you and Xe will think up something. And it’s also a party to celebrate King and his little friend Missy renting our Hut Canada, and to thank Squish for taking care of the arrangements. Look, here come King and Missy now.”

“Great! the first game will be don’t step on King the Cobra. We play that everytime he comes over,” laughed Tye.
“They look hungry, but King always looks hungry. He’s enjoying his new vegetarian diet, but – just like Chinese food – he’s hungry again 10 minutes later. I’ll help you get the food out on the tables, Sho.”

“Ooo, a cupcake just for me,” squeaked Missy. “And it’s got banana tucked into it. Umm, excuse me Miss or Mr. Bird. Who are you?”

“I’m Tyko,” chirped their new visitor. “I live next door, and thought I would come over – I brought my own drink – to welcome my new neighbors. You two are going to rent the hut, right?” Tyko added as she reached for a cookie biscuit. “You two sure are an unlikely pair to be living together,” she added.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” interupted Sho, “but perhaps you should have asked the hostess and owner and current inhabitant of the Hut Canada before joining our soiree.”

“And perhaps you should have asked the snake if you could have any of his favorite biscuits before helping yourself!” hissed King.

“Uh, oh,” thought Missy, “I sure hope that bird’s wings aren’t clipped. She may need them in a moment.

Meanwhile, at the next table, Sho heard the sound of growling.

“This is my banana split!” growled Xe. “Can’t you see the American flag on the top? It’s specially for me!

“Aren’t you going to share?” Tye growled back. “We always share.”

“No!” barked Xe. “This one’s mine. Get your own.”

“Stop it! Stop staring at each other and growling,” cried out Sho. “Oh thank Cat, here come Squish and her little sister Squash. I think things are whirling out of control around here.”
“Squish! Over here! I need your help!” Sho yelled.

Squish could hear the fear and distress in Sho’s voice. With a coconut-splitting trumpet, Squish rose up on her hind legs. Her landing didn’t quite cause an earthquake, but it did knock King and Xe off their tables and onto the ground.

“Now that you took care of that, can we eat?” squealed little Squash. “Look at the goodies Sho has for us!”

“Yes, she fixed me a giant banana split with mint ice cream, my favorite!” replied Squish.
“And Sho remembered my favorites, too – peanuts and bananas!” cried out Squash. “Can I have some of your whipped cream topping?”

Squish’s arrival seemed to have done the trick. King returned to the peaceful snake he had become, and invited his bird neighbor, Tyko to share his cookie biscuits. Xe and Tye, much embarrased by their own behaviors, mumbled “sorries” while Sho brought Tye her own banana split.

“I’m really sorry, Tye. I don’t know what got into me. Please forgive me,” Xe quietly woofed. “You can have my banana split if you want it. Here,” Xe said, as she started to slide it over to Tye. In case you don’t live with a schnauzer, let me tell you, it means a whole lot when a schnauzer will give away her favorite foods.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry I growled at you, too. But look what my sweet sister brought me. And it has the new Tyeland flag on it, so I know it’s just for me, like yours is just for you. You were right about that, Xe. No hard feelings.”

Seeing that peace had once again settled on the land, Sho quietly slipped away from the party to begin packing. Hut Canada would soon be occupied by their good friends, and she and Tye would be leaving for a new home in Canada.

My Last Day of Being Two

Well, it turns out that I didn’t get to go anywhere with Mommy today. She left early with a cooler packed with ice bricks, and I saw Daddy packing her lunch. She said bye to me and Lucy and that she would be back, like she always does, just in case we think she is leaving for good.

Me and Lucy and Chippie played for a while until Daddy came upstairs from his basement office and asked what was going on.

By then, we all were worn out. Does that mean I’m getting old?

After we got kefirred at noon (that’s what it’s called when we get served our kefir at lunchtime), we went out on our new porch so we could hang out while we waited for Mommy to come home.

Me and Lucy played chase across the porch, not even slowing for the doggie door. We made a full circle of the yard before we slipped through the door again and onto the porch. I turned and ran back out before realizing that Luce the Deuce, er, Lucy wasn’t chasing me anymore. When I stuck my head in to peek, I realized it was a trap! Just look at Lucy’s tail! She was ready to spring on me! I turned and ran and off we went. We played so hard that once again we fell down exhausted.

87 hours later Mommy got home, and all she carried upstairs from the car was some groceries from Trader Joe’s. With my most excellent ears, I heard her ask Daddy to unload the rest into the downstairs freezer.

“I’m dreaming of a tripe birthday,
Not like the ones I’ve had before.
Where the innards glisten
And Lucy listens
To hear if we might be getting more…”

This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, one day away from 3 years old, with this stupid, revised Christmas song stuck in my head.

The Hunter Princess and The Worrier

The Mom: Why are you staring at me, Riley? What do you want?

Riley: I just ate and I need to go out.

*a few minutes later*

Lucy: Where’d you go, Riley? I saw you go into the woods and thought you had run off.

Riley: Nah, I just had to do my business and I don’t like anyone watching. Besides, why would I mess in my own yard, or in my family’s yard? That’s just nasty. And why would you think I ran off?

Lucy: It’s cause Mom told me she had a dream about you and me running off together through the woods like we used to do a couple of years ago. In her dream, she found you near her old neighborhood and brought you home. But she never found me. She said it was a terrible dream. It woke her up and she never went back to sleep that night. So I am staying out of the woods.

Now, where did Xena go? It’s so hard being the responsible one, trying to keep track of every body.

Xena: I found a hole; two holes, actually. I can smell a critter.

Lucy: What’s in the hole? Don’t you have to go potty?

Xena: I don’t know yet, and I already went. Now will you please be quiet? I need silence. Absolute. Silence.

Lucy: Whatcha doin’ over there, Riley?

Riley: These leafs taste good. *munch munch*

Xena: Shhhhhh!

Xena: (thinking) I see you.

(thinking) Gotcha! Oh crap, it got away.

I am Xena Schnauzer Hunter Princess