Morty vs Achilles

Hi people. It’s me, Sir Mortimer. But you can call me Morty. Did you hear what happened to me? Achilles tried to kill me. No, really!

Here’s what happened: It was nice outside, and we were all – and by all I mean me, Ella, Achilles, Lucy and Xebe, or Xela, or something like that. Aunt Amy was there too…she was brushing Achilles. She was brushing him hard and fast and hair was flying and he was loving it. I came over to see what all was going on, not knowing he was “in the zone.” He jumped at me and grabbed my ear and bit down. I screamed, and that just fueled his fire. He scraped the skin off the top of my ear; he punctured the side of my face; he scratched the top of my neck and head. I just kept screaming. It hurt, and I was scared. *squeal!* I am a prey animal after all, and he’s a predator. Did you know he’s bigger than me? I’m just a poor little 150 pound pig with a waddle. To make things even worse, the other dogs started closing in on me. It’s something called pack behavior. Aunt Amy kept screaming at them to stay back while she worked on getting Achilles off of me. I sure do wish I had a pack to protect me.

Aunt Amy – I’ve just started calling her that – saved me. I was bleeding and really freaked out. I could tell she was too – freaked out that is, not bleeding. She took me to my bathroom apartment so I could calm down. Afterwards, she shut all the dogs in another room and let me come in the kitchen with her. She sat on the floor and kept talking real nice and soft to me, and I decided I could trust her, that she is my protector. So I laid down in front of her. She pet me until I got back up and moved next to her. Then I laid down and got pet some more. Finally, I moved onto my side and let her rub my belly. We’re friends now. And Achilles had to sleep in his kennel the last two nights.

Why am I always in trouble? I hope I get to sleep in the bed tonight.

Anyhow, with a lot of treats to bribe me, I let Aunt Amy wash my boo boos and put medicine on them. That was two days ago, and it’s not hurting anymore and it’s all starting to heal.

None of the dogs (except Lucy) are allowed out when I’m grazing and playing in my swimming pool. I’m a happy piggy again.

Love, grunts, oinks and squeals, Morty

Recap of Our 2020 in Pictures

Our friend, Miss Monika from Tails Around the Ranch posted this picture, and gave us permission to show it to all our friends. It says so much about how we all feel.

A few of my favorite pictures/moments of 2020. ..

January 2020 (below) We were at our friends’ house in Nashville, blissfully unaware of how the year was going to play out.

February 2020 (below) We actually got some snow!

March 2020 (below) just before our world changed. We got pictures sent to us of Morty celebrating his first birthday.

April 2020 (below)

May 2020 (below)

June 2020 (below) Xena enjoyed turning 3 years old.

July 2020 (below) We got a baby in the home office and dogsat while our friends went on a trip.

August 2020 (below). We travelled to be with family in Indiana to celebrate Jeff’s Mom’s 90th birthday.

September 2020 (below). Still working in my home office with the help of Xena and Lucy. Our new back, enclosed porch was finally finished, and Xena found a way onto the table.

October 2020 (below) Lucy and Xena joined the Zoom service with B’nai Zion and became BarkMitzvah-ed. Lucy’s new Hebrew name is Ora (light or shiny), while Xena’s is Grrvurah (warrior, sort of). We took a trip to an Air B&B in Kentucky for our 12th wedding anniversary, and the pups stayed with our frineds in Nashville.

November 2020 (below) The weather was unseasonably warm and sunny. Our Nashville friends joined us for thanksgiving, and then we leftall four pups home with the dogsitter while we spent a long Thanksgiving weekend at an Air B&B in North Carolina.

December 2020 (below) OK, so the first one is still from November, but just had to include it. Riley is back with us for a while, and so is his Dad Andrew.

Have a very good 2021, from Lucy, Xena, Achilles, Ella, Morty, Riley and Amy

Morty Goes Swimming on Thankful Thursday

Today we are joining Brian’s Thankful Thursday

Guess who got his very own pool for his birthday. Can you guess?

Me! Morty! *squeal, squeal, squeal!* I can sit in my pool.

*squeeeeeal* I can stand up in my pool.

And I can lay down in my pool. *oink, oink”

I sure do love my new swimming pool, and I love my Mom for getting it for me. Thanks, Mom!

Happy 1st Birthday, Morty

Pig age123456789
to peeps age182226303438424650

So you’re really 18 today? Are you getting your driving license? Did you register to vote? Do you get to stay out later? Do you have to get a job? So many things we want to know.

No matter what the answers are, we hope you party like it’s 1999!

WE LOVE YOU MORTY!!! Amy, Jeff, Xena and especially Lucy

Our Visit – Morty

Here is the answer to “Has Morty gotten any bigger?”


Hi, this is Xena here and I want to tell you a bit about our visit to the Nashville area to visit my Uncle Bill. Oh, and also Auntie Jen. And Morty the pig. And Ella and Achilles, too. Morty has had a growth spurt since he visited us a month ago. He’s a little taller and much longer than me now.

Morty’s an armful and then some. But he’s still a piglet.

Morty has a pig crush on my Daddy. Daddy loves to cook and is very good at it. Part of his birthday treat was to be able to do most of the cooking at Morty’s house this weekend, so he was in the kitchen a lot. That’s where Morty’s white mints are kept, and Daddy has fun feeding them to him. They’re like crack to Morty! He just can’t get enough.

Mommy wasn’t quick enough to get a picture of Morty standing up on his hind legs for his minty treats. None of us knew pigs could do that. Maybe he was imitating me. Next thing you know he will be hopping up and down on his back legs like I do.

Morty is on the move a lot. He spent a lot of time outside grazing on the grass in the fenced back yard. He usually won’t even go out when it’s so cold, but maybe he needed a break from four dogs in the house. When he finally came inside, his poor little hooves were all red from the cold. Later, he was sleeping under a blanket on his Mom’s lap, and we kept hearing him grunt. He had eaten so much grass that he was “passing gas.”

Because Achilles and Ella have to live with Morty, they treat him like their pesky little brother. At first they were real protective of him, but now it’s more like, “Get out of my stuff!” and “Leave me alone!” They even got in trouble today for growling at him and had to go for a time out in their kennels.

Lucy seems to like Morty just fine.

Of course, Lucy pretty much likes everyone. She is a real social butterfly. Morty wasn’t afraid of her, either.

Morty and me, we played a little bit too. Sometimes I barked and chased him down the hall, and sometimes he chased me down the hall while I growled.

At the end of the day, Morty was exhausted.

Be sure to check back soon for other adventures at Morty’s house.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Christmas at Last

Is it Christmas yet?

Did Santa come? Can we open our prezzies? What, not until Daddy gets back with brother Adam?

Lucy: We let our guests go first. Achilles got an empty, Santa covered water bottle, and he loved it! He worked and worked on it until he got the bottle out. Then the fun was over. I think he was disappointed that there was no stuffing in the stuffie!

Xena: Morty got reindeer ears and an empty bag that he tried to eat. Oh wait, the bag wasn’t his prezzie, he just grabbed it from someone else.

Lucy: Mom made doggie cookies for Morty and Achilles and Ella and they all scarfed them up. She packed them up some more from the freezer to take home. Some of them had pumpkin, and some of the cookies had tomato in them. They all were salt and sugar-free, with no preservatives or artificial anything. We weren’t allowed to have any because of all the carbs interfering with our stomach acid pee H.

Xena: But we did get Dogurt. It’s a new doggie yogurt that Mom found right in the dairy section of the grocery. Later we got real live beef soup bones. A big one to fit Lucy’s mouth and a smaller one for me to chew. Our peeps brother Adam sat outside with us until we got all the greasy stuff off them so we didn’t get it all over the furniture.

Lucy: Our friends, Chloe and Chaz -who stay with us sometimes and who Mom grooms – gave us this blanket. Do you see the heartbeat?

Xena: Lucy got a weird bone thing that she doesn’t want and neither do I or Ella.

Mommy said it’s OK for her to give to Achilles the next time she sees him. We’re sure he’ll like it.

I got new stuffies. No bears, ’cause they always go away to hibernate in the winter – except for Winter Bear – and then they empty our fridge when they are done hibernating. They get like zombies trying to eat the brains of Cone Heads. We don’t actually stock brains for them, but we make sure there’s plenty of berries and stuff to satisfy their extreme hunger from not eating all winter.

Anyhow, I got Chip, who is siting in the back closest to me. His big eyes and teeth kind of scared me at first, but I’m getting used to it. And puppy Oscar the Schnauzer. And the other dog is a stray and doesn’t have a name yet. Any suggestions?

Lucy: Brother Andrew got here just in time for dinner. Him and brother Adam were really glad to see each other, and were acting goofy. Mom said it was like how me and Ella act when we see each other after being apart.

I don’t know why “all good things must end.”

But maybe it’s so we can get some rest and be ready for good things the next day.

Love, Peace and Joy from Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess


Hi, I’m Ella, Lucy’s BFF.

Today, I’m pretending that I am Queen over all I see.

Queen Sarabi: Soon, Ella-Mufassa, you will be ruler over all this land.

Hi, I’m Achilles, Lucy’s boyfriend.

Today I’m pretending that I am a Major League outfielder.

Did you see that catch? Huh, huh, didja?

I caught this one for you, Lucy!

Hi, I’m Morty, and I’m pretending that…

I am Pumba, and they call me MR. PIG.

Hi, I’m Xena, and I’m pretending my Daddy could stay home and play with me every day.

What do you want to play now, Daddy?

Hi, I’m Lucy, and I’m pretending…

to be the subject of a famous picture by a famous artist, and everyone would know my name.

We are Achilles, Ella, Morty, Xena and Lucy, the Pretenders.

Messages from Our Friends

Lucy: Mom got a message in from my bestie, Ella.

Lucy: We love you, too, Ella!

Xena: Hey Luce, your boyfriend is sending you a message now.

Xena: What a whiny wimp. He needs to step up and be da dog. Just watch, he’ll probably get all kinds of attention from this.

Lucy: Well, whiny boy used to be your boyfriend. He even asked Dad for your paw in marriage. 

Xena: Na uh.

Lucy: Na hah. Here’s where you blogged about it, in case you need your memory stirred. Or just look at what I copied below.

(from August of last year)

“Mommy puts essential oils on it to keep the bugs away from me. It didn’t work on keeping Achilles away, though, BOL.You promise to stop bugging me if I what?! Well, OK, maybe just one quick kiss.

That was a mistake, ’cause then what I think I overheard Achilles say to my Daddy was, “Mr. Jeff, can I marry your daughter, the little one, the pretty one?” “

(Back to the present)

Xena: OK, OK, but I didn’t marry him, did I? Hey, wait, is that Morty?

This video doesn’t exist

Xena: I couldn’t understand a word he oinked. He must be speaking pig-Latin.

Lucy: I found an on-line interpreter. Morty said, “Don’t believe those goons.  I am the most important pig in this house. I run this joint.”

Xena: Well, it’s true he is the only pig living in that house, so he must be the most important piggie there, BOL!

It sure was nice getting to hear from out friends. We both hope to see them again soon, along with our Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill.

Woofs and wags, Lucy and Xena Princess Schnauzer Warrior


This and That on Flower Friday

Xena – The Visit Ends: Our visitors finally went home after peeing  being with us for 10 days. 

This is me, Xena, and my new friends, Laila and Louis.
Can I take this bone that I found home with me?
Sorry about ruining your big rug.
Bye, bye, Miss Amy. We liked being here.

Xena – A Hat? No Thanks.  Mommy decided once again to try putting Angel Lexi’s hat on me. A cast member gave it to her when she was in the Wizard of Oz. It has a star on it to show she was the star of the show.

Does my expression tell it all?

Lucy – No board, just groom: Chaz was supposed to stay with us last week, but something happened that his folks couldn’t go away. 

Instead, he just came for a groom. 

Xena – Heat and a flower or something like that: It was hotter than a witch’s ti…

Lucy – Xena! No! 

Xena – What? 

Lucy – The saying is “colder” not “hotter.” 

Xena – Oh. Anyway, it’s been hot. So finally one day there was a slight break in the heat and we convinced Mommy to take us for a walk. I thought I’d better leave as much pee mail as I could, ’cause who knows when we will be out walking again, right? And we even saw some pretty flowers.

Lucy – More visitors coming this weekend: I found out that we are finally going to meet Morty.

I’m not sure how that’s going to go, but we are all hoping for the best.

One thing I am sure about is that I can hardly wait to see Ella again. You know we are tight! So, when I heard she was coming to visit, I shouted out a “Hey, girl” to her. She promptly responded the same to me.

   “Hey girl, hey!”

That went on for a while. Then I said, “I can’t wait to hang out with you. Just one thing, Ella. This here is MY Dad, OK?

She said as long as I understood that Aunty Jen is HER Mom, we’re cool.

                         Oh, solo mio…arrooo!

Xena –  Daddy is MY Daddy too, you know!

This is Lucy and Xena (she means Xena and Lucy) joining the LLB Gang (especially Rosy)  for Flower Friday.