I’m Getting Sea Rum

Mommy got a job. I liked it better when she was home with me all day. I slept in her lap a lot! Now Mommy is working at another church, uh, I mean a synagogue. I think that’s right. Anyhow, it’s another place where God lives.

Lucy: Grodd lives here with us.

Good grief, Lucy, I said God, not Grodd. Anyhow, I grodd — dang, I meant got. I got to go to the synagogue with Mommy last week. Everyone came in Mommy’s office to meet me and pet me and tell me how sweet and pretty I am. One lady even said that I had leg hairs like the big Clydesdale horses! Mommy was real busy keeping me under control working, and she forgot to take any pictures. I even got to go to the staff meeting because I threw a fit when she left me alone in the office across the hall, where Mommy made me stay on her lap and everybody ignored me.

We left work early and went up the road a short piece to the special vet’s where I had gone two weeks ago. He is called an allergist, and I heard he comes here to Chattanooga from the Knoxville Veterinary school at UTK. That’s where really good animal dogtors teach students how to be animal dogtors. He is supposed to be very special, or maybe on a special list.

I really didn’t know why I was there, but I should have guessed it wasn’t for anything good when Mommy lost the battle about holding me for something that was about to happen. She had to wait in the lobby while they whisked me into the inner bowels of the building. I remained brave. I didn’t even flinch when they cruelly stuck a needle in my arm. The next thing I knew, the world kinda’ started spinning. Then everything got peaceful, and I didn’t care what was happening. I heard the sound of clippers, like what Mommy uses to groom me, before I felt little pricks, but it didn’t bother me at all.

Before long, they gave me a shot and the world started coming back into focus. The nice nurse, Noah, wrapped me up in a fluffy towel and brought me out to Mommy. Mommy held me and talked sweet to me, but I was kind of a little bit mad at her for not saying, “No,” like she does when the vet places want to shove the glass stick up my patootie. I wouldn’t even look at her. I kept growling, but the growls all faded out into pitiful whimpers. Finally, I let my anal glands empty on her arm.  I thought I heard Angel Lexi coaching me on that one.

I  wanted Daddy to hold me when we got home. I feel safe in his arms.Nurse Noah gave Mommy a paper showing what I tested positive to.  I am allergic to 17 of the things they tested me for, ranging from different trees and grasses to fleas and house mold. Nurse Noah is going to make my sea rum on Monday and mail it to me. I sure hope it tastes good!

Xena, the Polka Dot Schnauzer Warrior Princess



I’m itchy. I’m licking and  biting and scratching my face and my feet and my legs and well, everywhere. Mommy says it’s seasonal allergies. I say it’s super poopy (thanks, Noodle, for teaching me that.)

If I went to the nice lady vet and got an allergy shot, I wouldn’t be itchy anymore. But that’s how Mommy’s first schnauzer, Freda, got Cushing’s disease – from another vet where Mommy doesn’t go anymore. So no allergy shots for me!

I’ve found the best remedy is to curl up in Mommy’s arm and let her scritch all the itchy places. She’s real good at that and is careful to not hurt my skin.

Mommy is working on natural ways of helping me. She reads a lot and has ordered some special powders and oil and gives me yummy food that is supposed to help build up my I’m a moon system, at least the part of my moon system that deals with allergies. Here’s some of the stuff she gives me. The Krill oil is good because it doesn’t have any bad mercury in it like a lot of fish, and it’s in a vacuum bottle so it doesn’t spoil. I love my kefir, too. It is full of problematics, er, probies, or something like that, and Mommy mixes my new powdered colostrum into it. The information about my colostrum  says, FACT: Research has identified an ingredient called proline-rich polypeptide (PRP) as one of the main components of colostrum responsible for eliminating or improving the symptoms of allergies. It’s also thought to be useful for other autoimmune conditions. PRP is reported to stimulate an under-active immune system into dealing with disease-causing organisms and it can also suppress an overactive system that results from autoimmune disorders and allergic reactions.”

Anyhoo, I also get Seasonal Support sprinkled on my food. Mommy said to follow the link to find out all the good stuff in it, like stinging nettle, bee pollen, cat’s claw and herbs and more. It tells more about how it helps, too.

There is stuff in apples and bananas that is supposed to help get rid of the itchies, too. We only get organic apples, ’cause they have now replaced strawberries as the fruit with the most pesticides. Pesticides are icky. Mommy cuts the fruit into pieces and throws them at to me and Lucy to catch. It’s fun to play a game while eating.Sometimes, when the itching got too bad, I was taking a benny pill, too. But we’re trying not to do that, ’cause it can mess up all the stuff we’re trying to make healthy. We learned that if we just cover up the problem with drugs, it will come back even worse next time.

Oh, wait! Did I tell you that Mommy is making us sauerkraut now, too? Me and Lucy love, love, love it. The kit let Mommy make two big wide-mouth jars of sauerkraut at a time. Then Daddy started scarfing it up, so she had to order another kit so she could have three fur-men-ting plus the one that we are all eating. It takes at least three weeks for the fur men to finish their work, but four weeks is better. It’s supposed to be full of probies, too. I love probies and fur men.I just got sprayed with sea salt mixed into organic apple cider vinegar. I feel better already, and am ready to take a nap in Mommy’s arm. I hope the itchy season is over soon.

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with the Itchies