I saw this and thought I should warn everyone who lives with a cat. Please be careful.
In case you couldn’t read what’s on this picture, I will tell you, ’cause it’s impawtant:
Bringing you dead animals: This isn’t a gift, it’s a warning.
Staring contests: If you get caught in a staring contest with a cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.
Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter: When your cat does this, it’s actually a failed ambush.
Kneading on you: You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.
Hiding in dark places and watching you: Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.
Throwing up grass: Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their bodies and minds for combat.
Sleeping on your electronics: Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.
Pawing at your face while you sleep: Cats aren’t very good at smothering people, but this won’t keep them from trying.
Excessive shoveling of kitty litter: After using the litter box, your cat endlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.
MOM: Lucy! What are you doing? Don’t you know a lot of our friends are cats? What about Siddhartha Henry, or Madi, or Shoko? Do you think they are like this?
What? They’re cats?
MOM: Of course they’re cats. What did you think they were, dogs?
Well…. *shame-faced* I, I guess I never thought about it. I mean, they’re nice and I like them and I never thought about them being any different than me. I hope I didn’t offend anyone.
I am Lucy, the apologetic.