Conversation with the Scary Schnauzer

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Hi there friends. Do you remember when I didn’t know what to do about the scary schnauzer in the chair ? The one that had my bone? Well, I’ve got news. I decided to put on my brave schnauzer warrior face and confront him. It turns out he is actually a she just like some of you suggested. Now that I think about it, how could a boy possibly look that scary, right? Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Why did you take my bone? (I believe in asking the most important questions first.)

Scary Schnauzer: I recovered your bone from Riley. I kept it safe, waiting for you to come get it, but you kept backing away.

Me: You glared at me!

Scary Schnauzer: I wasn’t glaring at you. I was glaring at Riley who was standing behind you.

Me: Oh. What’s your name?

Almost Scary Schnauzer: I won’t tell you my name. I am here to protect you. You have to realize that I could be shredded to bits at any moment.

Me: What’s that have to do with me knowing your name?

Not So Scary Schnauzer: If you knew my name you might want to be my friend. And then you would be sad if I was injured in the line of duty. Live your life, be a good schnauzer, and take care of your family.

Me: I have a new friend.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Wordless Wednesday – Xena

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Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!

Happy Hearts Day 2

I found this badge that Miss Ann from Zoolatry made and decided it was meant just for today. Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends. May you have love all your lives.

I want to wish my wonderful big sissie, Lucy, a happy Valentine’s Day. I don’t tell her very often that I love her, but I think I would feel totally lost without her. I love you, Lucy. (Just don’t get any ideas about eating my food.)

Your little sister, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Happy Hearts Day

Lucy: I’m sending a great big smoochy kiss to my guy, Achilles. Isn’t he dreamy?

Wordless Wednesday Love Seat Cuddle

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Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!

Ludwig or Lois?

Xena: Something odd happened around here. I was having a good, normal Saturday. Daddy finished putting together my breakfast and I declared it good. Mommy finally crawled out of bed around 6:30 in the morning, saw it was dark and cold and threatening snow, and said we would all go outside after the sun came up. We never actually saw the sun, but it did get lighter outside so that we could see if any coyotes or werewolves were coming at us from the nearby woods. (None did.) Lucy and I played in the yard for a little bit while Riley (yes, he’s back) took his time deciding if he would step onto the wet grass. Mommy says Riley is very smart, but he sure does take a long time thinking about stuff.

I sure hope Riley doesn’t take as long to make up his mind as this guy.

I still didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary when I heard a scratching at the front door. We get a lot of Amazon deliveries, and I figured the delivery person had figured out the dog way of asking for the door to be opened was preferable to banging on it or ringing that annoying bell. Well, that, or else I was finally going to get to be a ratter.

So, as usual, I hollered for Mommy to come open the door. Look who was there! At first I thought it was Ludwig come home, then I saw the dress…

Xena: “Who are you? Are you Ludwig? You smell like Ludwig. Why are you dressed like that?

Schnauzer at the door: No, Xena, I am Ludwig’s cousin, Lois. I’ve heard so much about you from my wonderful, handsome cousin Ludwig! Then I heard that you and that scoundrel, er, I mean, Achilles might be getting married, so I came for the wedding. Let me in.

Xena: Riley! Get out of my bed and come here! I need your help.

This dog says (s)he’s Lois, Ludwig’s cousin. What do you think?

Riley: Well, (s)he’s got this strap thing from the dress wrapped around the part that would give it away, so I’m not sure. Do you want me to rip it off?

Lois: Stop it! Stop it!

Xena: No, that would be way too rude. But she thinks I’m marrying Achilles. What should we do?

Riley: Lucy says let the new dog stay.

If it’s really Ludwig, we’ll know soon enough.

Yes, we will know soon enough. If Lois perches on Vicky the Troll, uh, we’ll know it’s really Ludwig, and my ploy to make him jealous worked.

In the meantime, I’ve reclaimed my bed and am going to help Mommy in her home office.

Let It Snow

Xena: We almost never get snow around here in SE Tennessee. Maybe a light sprinkling that doesn’t stay on the ground. So, at two and a half, I’ve never seen real snow.

Lucy: At Christmas a couple of years ago, when I took my trip with Dad to visit my grandma in Illinois, I found out all about snow. It’s cold, and sometimes it’s fun to play in. Mom got me a really nice winter coat after that so that I will be warm next time Dad takes me.

So far, I haven’t needed it.

Xena: Do you remember how I kept wishing for snow last year, and then Spring came without Winter leaving even a snowflake in it’s wake? Apparently, wishes sometimes take a while to come true.

Lucy: Mom hadn’t shoveled the walk or the road. It was still too warm to stick there. Pretty soon, though, the walks and roads gave up their battle with the snow.

Xena: As I watched, the snow started to cover the road and our driveway and walkway. The babysitter for the synagogue where Mommy works called and cancelled. The new groom Mommy was getting in called and debated about coming, and asked if Mommy wanted her to. Mommy said it was totally up to her, since she was the one having to drive in this weather. She decided not to come, and we hope she will reschedule for Monday or next Saturday. She’s got a white shih tzu with a deformed front leg. I can’t wait to see her. Her name is Sandy, just like our last name!

Lucy: Hey Xena, do you remember this picture of Angel Lexi from 2011? I think that’s what you’d look like if you went out in this snow.

Lexi: I am not amused.

Hmm, snow sounds over-rated. I think I’ll just take a nap instead.

Disclaimer: We know that many of you get tons of snow all winter long. Please understand that this is a big deal for us. Schools and businesses close, traffic slows to a crawl, and the stores empty of water, bread and milk. We’ve never quite understood that last part, but at least Mom has plenty of food in the house for us!

Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Scary

Aunty Jen gave Mommy this for Christmas:

I’ve been staring at him a lot. He won’t tell me his name. Or what he’s doing with my bone. Or why he doesn’t want to play. Daddy says he just sits there and stares at us, and looks rather frightening, and I must agree. This mean-looking schnauzer stays in a chair in the living room. Sometimes I sit on the end of the couch and stare back. Sometimes I get brave enough to jump onto the chair and try to steal back my bone.

I’m working on trying to look like him.

What do you think? Do I look scary?

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

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Does Xena Have a Boyfriend?

Daddy, it’s time to send Ludwig another text. We’ve got pictures to send, too.

OK, Xena, let’s do it.

Dear Ludwig, I went to Nashville, visited Achilles who previously asked Daddy for my paw in marriage. Got re-acquainted. Asked me again if I would marry him. Said I would think about it. He promised me fresh steak every night if I said yes. He’s such a handsome, big dog. Hope you are doing ok and taking good care of Mr. Eleephant. Pee S: check out pic attached.

Dad: Is that the best pic you could get of the two of you? You don’t look very amorous.

Xena: That’s too hard to pretend. And it’s better than this other one where Achilles asked me if we were done. He said he didn’t mind helping me out, but he didn’t want Lucy to see.

Xena, the getting back at Ludwig Schnauzer Warrior Princess.

Special Pee S from the Dad: Look closely at the first picture. I think Achilles got busted.

Our Visit- Ella, et al

Hi, this is Xena again. I read in one of Angel Lexi’s posts that she loved the phrase et al, so I had to keep reading to find out what it meant. I quickly discovered it meant whatever you want it to mean. So, let’s start with who is still the reigning queen et al.

Ella, Queen of her Domain, et al

Lucy: Ella and I are still best friends, et al.

Speaking of et als, Mom asked me to include this picture in our post today. She thinks it’s a lovely picture of me in Auntie Jen’s living room.

We all fell back in like we had never been apart.

Here I am between my BFF Ella and my guy Achilles, et al, watching a black cat walking along the fence line. We saw him on and off throughout our visit.

Can you guess what had happened here?

Xena: We all spent a lot of time after lunch sitting around visiting and snoozing in our chairs. There was a dog for every person, plus a bonus pig for Auntie Jen et al.

Achilles picked Mommy as his bed.

Lucy: The real reason we came this particular weekend was to celebrate Aunty Jen’s birthday – and also Dad’s birthday that was last week. Oh yeah, and Lucy’s, too. So the peeps went out to the “Snow Ball.” Dad and Mom et al danced all evening to a big band.

Mom danced so much her left foot felt like it was getting a blister (it wasn’t), and Dad danced so much his previously injured ankle started to scream. But they said it was too much fun to worry about a little pain.

Xena: Aunty Jen and Mommy got up really early on Saturday morning to do a pod cast or something like that on Facebook, I think. All I know was that Aunty Jen was talking into a camera while holding up clothes called lularoe and Mommy was frantically unpacking a box, ripping open the bags, hanging the clothes and numbers on hangers, and handing them to Aunty Jen. I made the mistake of hanging out with them, and got used as a “sales tool.” I didn’t even have my beard washed or combed, and it was so early that I was still in my sock monkey jammies. It was rather embarrassing, but people kept typing in comments about how cute I am. *grin* So anyhow, if you want to buy any lularoe for Valentine’s Day – or anytime – Aunty Jen is selling them. Tell her Xena sent you.

Love and wiggles, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, back home et al.

Our Visit – Morty

Here is the answer to “Has Morty gotten any bigger?”

Yes!

Hi, this is Xena here and I want to tell you a bit about our visit to the Nashville area to visit my Uncle Bill. Oh, and also Auntie Jen. And Morty the pig. And Ella and Achilles, too. Morty has had a growth spurt since he visited us a month ago. He’s a little taller and much longer than me now.

Morty’s an armful and then some. But he’s still a piglet.

Morty has a pig crush on my Daddy. Daddy loves to cook and is very good at it. Part of his birthday treat was to be able to do most of the cooking at Morty’s house this weekend, so he was in the kitchen a lot. That’s where Morty’s white mints are kept, and Daddy has fun feeding them to him. They’re like crack to Morty! He just can’t get enough.

Mommy wasn’t quick enough to get a picture of Morty standing up on his hind legs for his minty treats. None of us knew pigs could do that. Maybe he was imitating me. Next thing you know he will be hopping up and down on his back legs like I do.

Morty is on the move a lot. He spent a lot of time outside grazing on the grass in the fenced back yard. He usually won’t even go out when it’s so cold, but maybe he needed a break from four dogs in the house. When he finally came inside, his poor little hooves were all red from the cold. Later, he was sleeping under a blanket on his Mom’s lap, and we kept hearing him grunt. He had eaten so much grass that he was “passing gas.”

Because Achilles and Ella have to live with Morty, they treat him like their pesky little brother. At first they were real protective of him, but now it’s more like, “Get out of my stuff!” and “Leave me alone!” They even got in trouble today for growling at him and had to go for a time out in their kennels.

Lucy seems to like Morty just fine.

Of course, Lucy pretty much likes everyone. She is a real social butterfly. Morty wasn’t afraid of her, either.

Morty and me, we played a little bit too. Sometimes I barked and chased him down the hall, and sometimes he chased me down the hall while I growled.

At the end of the day, Morty was exhausted.

Be sure to check back soon for other adventures at Morty’s house.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

On Our Way

Hey Mom, where are we going? We sure have a lot of stuff in the car and I’m packed in here pretty tight.

Really! We’re going to see my bestie Ella and my guy Achilles?

This is the rest of my birthday gift? Woohoo! Sure, we can keep celebrating Dad’s birthday too. Saturday is Auntie Jen’s birthday? Does that mean more cake?

Lucy, will you quit blabbering. I finally found a way to travel where I feel safe, and now I have to listen to all this. I’m trying to nap cause there’s going to be a lot to bark at when we get there.

Are we there yet?

Check back soon to find out how much Morty has grown and if Ella is still queen of her domain.

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Just Pictures on Almost Wordless Wednesday

Grooming:

Chaz after his January groom

Chaz’s sister Chloe after her January groom

Sleeping:

Sometimes Xena has to sleep in her own bed.

Lucy doesn’t like to sleep alone.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME

from left: Xena, Riley, Lucy

Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting the
Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!

Bye Bye Rudy

This picture was taken just before Rudy found out he was leaving. While we were playing we heard that noisy rooster across the street. Rudy joked, “Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: So Lucy and Xena didn’t eat him!” BOL, BOL, BOL! Everyone laughed so hard they fell over.

And just look at that silly Chippy. Prissy, Bunny and Rudy almost passed out from laughing so hard, but Chippy is still laughing. I was sitting there thinking about if I could catch that chicken!

But it’s time. Today, we put away all the Christmas decorations. Mommy said it’s too depressing to put them away right after Christmas, so she waited until she could put out some decorations for Valentine’s Day. Anyhoo, Santa saw everything Christmas being put in bins and stored in the attic. And when he saw the sunshine and felt the warmth of a beautiful sunny day, he declared it was time to leave.

Bye, bye Rudy and Santa. Are you sure you have to go?

Of course Rudy is going with him. I’ll miss Rudy; he’s so much fun. But, as Santa pointed out, I still have my new friends to get to know better and to play with, as well as most of my old favorites. Safe travels, Santa and Rudy, and see you next Christmas!

Grooming with Mom

Hi friends! It’s me, Lucy, back with all the news worth reporting from the Groom Room. Today I want to introduce a new pup by the name of Gryff. But before I do, it’s important for you to get the back story (that’s a reporting term, you know) on how this all happened. First, though, here is Gryff before being groomed.

The day before Gryff came over, the Groomer aka Mom was grooming another little shih tzu, who we will just call “Ann” to protect the innocent. She’s been here a couple of times before, and is a sweet, if squirmy pup, under a year old. When the Groomer was done, she let “Ann’s” Mom know to come get her. Her Mom replied that her husband would pick up “Ann.” Mom packed me and Xena in the car to go to the vet, so we could leave as soon as “Ann” went home. We sat in there for almost an hour waiting, while Mom, er, the Groomer sat in the groom room with “Ann” in her lap, also waiting, for the pick up. Fifty minutes and several phone calls later, the husband showed up with both a stinky attitude and stinky breath. Mom, er, the Groomer figured out right away that he had been watching football and was unhappy about having to come pick up “Ann.”

We missed our vet appointment (I love going to the vet and always want to stay with those fun people) and we had to get out of the car. Mom called Dad and vented. She was really mad. She said if the guy had even said he was sorry, she would have been over it. But no, not even a thanks. Anyhoo, Mom finally asked God to take away the anger and forgive her for her mean thoughts. You won’t believe what happened next! A lady texted her saying “Ann’s” Mom had given her Mom’s number and she wanted to make a grooming appointment for her shih tzu! Mom called her and Gryff came the next day. Here he is after his groom.

Mom felt like God had answered her prayer, and not only forgave her, but sent her a blessing.

This is Lucy, Ace Reporter, signing off.

My Birthday

Guess whose birthday it is today!

It’s mine! And I’m an all grown-up four years old.

So far, besides my breakfast, I’ve had some freeze-dried beef heart. Yummy! I think I smell some beef bones thawing in the sink downstairs, too. I can’t wait to find out what other goodies Mom and Dad have for me today!

Wiggles and kisses, Lucy, the birthday girl.

Ludwig

Lucy: Hey Xena, have you heard anything from Ludwig since he left in such a hurry with Mr. Eleephant?

Xena: What do you mean? Why would I hear from him? He was just going to visit his pawrents in New York City, right? What could he possibly want to tell me?

Lucy: Oh, I don’t know, maybe about all his shenanigans since he left. I googled him, and it seems he has a wild side we didn’t know about. You’d better sit down. Sit, Xena, sit!

This was the first picture that popped up with his name.

Doesn’t this look like Ludwig going into that club?

Xena: Well, it’s dark out and it’s from the back. Really, it could be anyone. Besides, Mr. Eleephant isn’t with him, and Ludwig’s supposed to be taking care of him.

Lucy: I found this one in the Tattler.

That’s the Australian model Shanina Shaik he’s with there.

Xena: He was probably just passing her by on the sidewalk on his way home to check on Mr. Eleephant.

Lucy: Paparazzi don’t take pictures of someone just passing someone else by, Xe. Here’s another one.

Look how that woman is looking at Ludwig. She seems to be enjoying his company. And he’s smiling pretty big, too.

Xena: But, but, I’m sure they were all just going the same direction. Or maybe they are nurses he’s taking home to help care for Mr. E.

Lucy: Yeah, he probably is taking them home… I’ve got one more. Wanna see it?

Xena: *hangs head* No, but go ahead and show me.

Lucy: Ludwig is helping to DJ at a rave.

A short while later

Xena: Daddy, I need you to help me write a note to Ludwig.

That’s a good one Daddy. OK, now tell him about the big party we had and sorry he wasn’t around, and there were lots and lots of nice boy dogs there who liked me. And that I’m going away the end of the month to a big bash in Nashville. No, he doesn’t need to know it’s Aunty Jen’s birthday, or that I’m staying at her house while you and Mommy and all the peeps go dancing. Oh, and be sure to tell him I’m looking forward to seeing a certain really big boy dog there. And, and, oh just make up some more stuff.

Lucy and the vindictive Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Introducing Priscilla

I got two new puppies and a chipmunk for Christmas. Oscar is my schnauzer puppy stuffie. His beard is as crazy as mine! My other puppy didn’t have a name. If you didn’t see my Christmas Day post, you can click here. I mentioned then that my sweet new puppy with the long ears needed a name and asked for help, but the only one to respond was Kismet, who suggested “Dumbo” because of her really big ears. That is not just politically incorrect, it’s just plain mean. That made me realize it was up to me to find her a name.

I know she’s a girl because she’s wearing a pink collar. And she does have big ears, sorta like a hound dog. So that got me to thinking. Mr. Elvis used to sing a song about a hound dog and I think his favorite person was Priscilla, so, even though that Priscilla wasn’t a hound dog, I thought maybe my new puppy’s name should be Priscilla. And I could call her Prissy for short, kinda like Mommy calls me Xee and Xee Xee.

I’m teaching Prissie all kinds of new things.

She’s already learned to jump/climb up on the magical red chair. Please don’t pay any attention to the plaid duck tape on the top of the chair. That will soon be a “last year’s” mistake. And I’m sure any new teeth marks will be from Priscilla as she is teething, right?

Prissy likes to look out the window with me.

I’m teaching her how to watch for things to bark at watch for possible threats. That way, when she grows up, she could be our security dog while Ludwig is away for the winter.

She’s also been watching me practice all my new Freestyle figures. Pretty soon I’ll have a whole new routine to all new music. It’s going to be great!

Anyhoo, I wanted to let you know that the naming contest is over and no one won the trip to…

Lucy: Xena, what the dog are you barking about now? There was never a naming contest!

Xena: Shhhhhhh.

I’m asleep.

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Happy Moments 2019

Since I’m the oldest (4 years old on January 14), I get to go first. I had a good year with my family and fun with my little sister.

I practiced my zen techniques with our grooms, babysat some adorable puppies (I’m just glad I got to give them back), took lots of walks, had fun with my guy, Achilles, and made a ton of new friends at Rocktoberfest.

You did have a good year, Lucy, even though I think mine was even better! By the way, I’ll be 3 on June 21, so please contact me for where to send my pressies.

I won my first Freestyle title, went on a trip, met our new pig cousin, got three agility certificates, and added three new stuffie friends to our household.

We can’t wait to share all our new adventures in 2020 with all our friends here, and we’ll do our best to keep up with yours, too.

Love, wags and wiggles from Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Christmas Grooms with Lucy

Lucy, Ace Reporter here on the Groom Beat. Today I want to feature a couple of our pups who got groomed just before Christmas.

Let’s start off with Bailey C. Bailey has that fine hair of a Chorkie (Chihuahua/Yorkie Mix).

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  Bailey before

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  Bailey after

Bailey wanted to wear his new Christmas sweater, so you can’t see his body. But Mom did a scissor cut because he doesn’t have an undercoat. If she had shaved him, he would have looked like a skinned rat. Now Bailey looks like a pretty, groomed pup waiting for Santa Paws.

The other pup I want to feature today is Maggie. I told you about her Mom having cancer and asked for your prayers and POTP. Bailey’s Mom is celebrating a cancer-free Christmas this year!

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We are sure they had a great Christmas and wish all our grooms and all our friends reading this a happy and healthy New Year.

Wags and wiggles from Lucy, Ace Reporter