Co-Authoring Hodge Podge

Xena: Lucy and I decided to try to write something together, as co-authors. You know, like Stephen King and Dean Koontz. Yep, that’s us; I’ll be King and Lucy can have Koontzies, he, he, he.

Lucy: Xena, sometimes you just give me a headache.

Xena: Did you know Mommy went and  paid to have her boobies squished? I try to do that for free for her every morning when I catch her laying on her back, but all she does is groan and turn over. Sheesh. I’ll try again tomorrow to see if she has suddenly decided she likes it. Just like she keeps putting coconut oil in my food bowl to see if I changed my mind about eating it. I bet her answer will be the same as mine.

Lucy: Maybe that’s why Mom rubbed the coconut oil all over you, since you won’t eat it.Xena: Not that it did me any good with you licking it all off of me. I couldn’t get away from you, and the folks were laughing too hard to help me.

Lucy: I heard Mom say now you know what it feels like when you lick off all the lotion she puts on her hands or legs.

Xena: Yeah, well…I like my new kennel. It’s right by the back door window so I can look outside whenever I want. And you can’t bother me or take my stuff. It’s my safe place. Lucy: You mean so you can take my stuff! I could come in there if I wanted to…I just don’t want to. *harumph* And oh yeah, I almost forgot. You go brain-dead when you’re near that kennel.

Xena: Do not, Lucy the Koontzie!

Lucy: Do too! You were playing in your kennel when Dad got home the other night and you went crazy, jumping up and down with your pogo stick legs, and screaming for him to get you out. You forgot the door was open!

Xena: Well, I…

Lucy: Oh, oh, and what about last week when the kennel door was open and you were digging at the side to try to get Brownie Bear out? All you had to do was walk in and get him!

Xena: Hey, can anyone guess what’s all over my face? Clue: I just ate lunch.It’s in my mouth, too, he, he. OK, here’s a better picture…Did you guess white wall paper? If so, you’re wrong! Ha, ha, ha. Did you guess egg shell? Yes! Mommy got some farm-fresh eggs at the farmers market over the weekend. If you guessed right, you won an all-expense paid trip to…

Lucy: Xena! Stop! You can’t promise something that you can’t deliver!

Xena: I’m not delivering, silly Lucy with Koontzies. They have to go there themselves.

Lucy: This headache is getting worse. I’m going to put on my happy face, pretend I didn’t hear that, and sing everyone a song, just like you did, Xena *whispers* only better.Is everyone ready? (Oh, I’m a bit nervous.) Here we go. All y’all can sing along if you want.

(Warning: turn down your sound)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we’re not the fortunate ones
And girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you’re still number one
But girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just want to have

That’s all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Oh girls, they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wantna have fun (girls and boys wanna have fun, girls wanna have)

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have

That’s all they really want
Some fun…

We are Xena and Lucy (and I don’t have Koontzies)

Please Be Careful

I saw this and thought I should warn everyone who lives with a cat. Please be careful.

In case you couldn’t read what’s on this picture, I will tell you, ’cause it’s impawtant:

Bringing you dead animals: This isn’t a gift, it’s a warning.

Staring contests: If you get caught in a staring contest with a cat, do not look away. Looking away will signal to your cat that you are weak, and an attack is likely to follow.

Sprinting at light speed out of any room you enter: When your cat does this, it’s actually a failed ambush.

Kneading on you: You may think this is a sign of affection, but your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Hiding in dark places and watching you: Your cat will often hide in order to study you in your natural habitat.

Throwing up grass: Through this painful feeding and purging process, cats prepare their bodies and minds for combat.

Sleeping on your electronics: Humans have superior technology. Your cat knows this and will attempt to disrupt all communications to the outside world.

Pawing at your face while you sleep: Cats aren’t very good at smothering people, but this won’t keep them from trying.

Excessive shoveling of kitty litter: After using the litter box, your cat endlessly kicks litter around, most of it ending up all over the room. This is practice for burying bodies.

MOM: Lucy! What are you doing? Don’t you know a lot of our friends are cats? What about Siddhartha Henry, or Madi, or Shoko? Do you think they are like this?

What? They’re cats?

MOM: Of course they’re cats. What did you think they were, dogs?

Well…. *shame-faced* I, I guess I never thought about it. I mean, they’re nice and I like them and I never thought about them being any different than me. I hope I didn’t offend anyone.

I am Lucy, the apologetic.

Not Looking at You Wednesday

I won’t look at you today!

 Not in the pansies,not if you ask.Not by the bushes,not in the grass.All this not looking

is a tiresome task!

I am Xena, the Not Looking at You Today Schnauzer Warrior Princess.

Anteater

As I was taking a nice, relaxed lunch in the sunshine, I saw movement around my feet……and wondered what that little scurrying thing would taste like.It ran away, but there were more, probably it’s sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and friends. “What a fun game,” I thought, “to try to see how many I can catch.” It wasn’t too hard, and once I got them in my mouth it was just easier to swallow them than to try to spit them out.Ohh, I think I’ve had enough little black ants for one day. It feels like they are still running around, but in my tummy.Let’s go back inside now Mommy. I need a drink to try to drown those tummy ants.

I am Xena, the Anteating Schnauzer Warrior Princess. *burb*

Cave of the Clan Bears Part 2

Xena: Ludwig, I’m sorry it had to come to this. The All eye ants (see previous post) will be here soon to deal with you.

Ludwig: mmphmph…mmmmm.

Xena: Don’t worry, no one is going to hurt you. Oh, here they all are now.Brownie: Is it time now, Xena?

Xena: Yep. Let him have it!

Ludwig: *screaming* Mmmmmmphh!

Brownie: Even though you don’t have a honey…

Sweetheart: or a sweetheart…

Winter: or any fois gras…

Rainbow: or furs of many colors…

Everyone: God loves you!

Xena: We want to be your friends. We think that’s what’s best for everyone, including you. And no more hanky panky. What do you say?

Ludwig: Mmmph. Mmm hmmm.

Xena: I let him loose. Don’t let him get out yet.

Ludwig: *sob* Ok, I’ll tell you the truth. My Mom and Pop came over on the boat from Germany, but I was born in Boston. That’s why I sound funny to you Southern Bears…and, uh, to the bunny over there in the corner. And I know some German from my folks. What I said about being lonely, that’s true. I’m new to town, and don’t know anyone ’cause I work all the time. I just thought…*sob*

Sweetheart: Awww, don’t cry, Ludwig. We forgive you. 

Winter: And you can play with us and be our friend. 

Brownie: And part of the All lie ants.

Xena: And I will ask Mommy to release you from printer guard duty so you can spend time with your new friends.

Sweetheart: I don’t like being a lying ant.

Xena: Consider the All lie ants dissolved. We will all be best friends.Don’t worry, Ludwig. Lucy won’t really eat you. As long as we are all telling the truth now, I have a confession to make…I was jealous and didn’t want you hanging around my sister. Lucy will be the best friend you ever had! Hey everyone! Welcome Ludwig to our family!

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Cave of the Clan Bears

Xena: Thank you all for coming. Actually, I didn’t realize this many bears lived in my house. Anyhow let’s get started. Rainbow, why don’t you tell us what happened at work.Rainbow: Well, Mommy packed me up and took me with her to keep you company. When you left the room, Ludwig jumped down off Mommy’s printer and sidled up to me in your bed. He said you just wanted to be his friend so it was ok. Then he said such nice things to me, I felt all warm and cuddly.

Xena: That’s ’cause you are warm and cuddly, Rainbow.

Rainbow: Oh. So that didn’t mean he is my boyfriend?

Xena: No. And now that you know you don’t need Ludwig to feel good about yourself, do you still want him to be your boyfriend?

Rainbow: Nuh uh.

Xena: Great, I’ll take that as a no. Then let’s make a plan. I learned from a show Mommy was watching that we can form an all lie ants. 

Brownie: What’s that? Is it good to eat, like honey? Xena: No. It’s a dish served cold, like revenge. 

Winter: I’m the biggest bear here. I could set up a table and serve it to him with a little foie gras on the side. That’s served cold too. And maybe some fresh…

Xena: No, no, no! Sweetheart, you come with me to work and lure him back to the house with your heart that says.. uh, Mommy, what does Sweetheart’s heart say?

Mommy: It says “Sweetheart.” What are y’all up to?

Xena: Uh, nothing. I mean, just playing.

Sweetheart: We are all lying ants.

Mommy: *scrunches forehead* Huh? Oh, never mind. Has anyone seen my glasses? I can’t find my glasses. *walks away*

Xena and Bears: *whispers and giggles*

To be continued…

Caught!

You are a soft, lovely Bär with many colors, while I, Herr Ludwig, am only a boring gray.

Ludwig! What are you doing with Rainbow?Prinzessin Xena, I didn’t expect you back so soon.

Obviously not! Get. Out. Of. My. Bed.

Oh, you cannot mean that, my love. You know my affection for you runs deep. I was just, umm, I was just……(whispering) I was just telling Rainbow about my wunderbar visit with you and your family over the Easter holiday. Yes! That is what I was doing.

And you, Rainbow, tell me what happened while I was gone.Ludwig is my boyfriend. He said I have beautiful furs.

You scoundrel Ludwig! I should rip off your ear!

Mommy: Xena! Don’t bite Ludwig. Ludwig! Get out of Xena’s bed, now!

I still love you, my Prinzessin.

No, no you don’t! Just go and leave me be. Rainbow, you get out, too.And stay out!

When there are no words…

 

Can Xena Keep Up

Lucy misses her guy Riley, so Xena does her best to fill in. Since the temperature on Easter Day was almost 80 F/26C, Lucy and Xena did some front yard zoomies in the sunshine.

 

Post-Easter Post

My brother Adam celebrated Easter with me and Lucy and Mommy and Daddy and Ludwig. Here is what the peeps ate.As our guest, Ludwig was offered some, but he politely declined, saying he was not hungry.

Me and Lucy had deer burger and chicken livers and broccoli and some other yummy things.

Too soon, it was time to go back to work, and Ludwig went with us. He was worried about Mommy’s printer, which had been left unguarded since last Thursday. Who knows what could have happened to it without Ludwig there guarding it!

Ludwig, you look awfully tense.

My Prinzessin, your family’s hospitality was without reproach, and your castle magnificent; however, I must return to my duties, post-haste.

The T-Lex will have us there in less than half an hour, Ludwig. I’m sure everything will be ok. Try to relax.

It is true that I did not sleep well last night, I was so conflicted, fretting about the absence from my job while enjoying time with you, my love, my beautiful Xena.

Soon…Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

15 minutes later…

*yawn* I’ve got my new rainbow bear Mommy gave me for Easter. Zzzzzz.

Frau Mommy’s printer is here and is well. I have not failed!

Frau Mommy: Where is my wastebasket? Who took my wastebasket? Has anyone seen my wastebasket? It was right here when we left on Thursday.

I’m sorry Mommy, but I don’t care where the stupid wastebasket is. Just give me whatever you were going to throw into it. And will you please tell Ludwig I kicked out Rainbow Bear so that he has room in my bed? I miss him.

I am Xena, the Schnauzer (sometimes Warrior) Princess alone in my bed.

Xena’s Visitor

Xena: Hi Ludwig. Why are you wearing my walking vest?

It is because Das Mommy has invited me home for Easter holiday.

Xena: Really? That’s great! You’ll get to meet my big sister Lucy and, and (quietly) you might like her…more than you like me… and then… No, no, Ludwig, you wouldn’t like it at my house at all! Not at all! Lucy might eat you. You’ve gotta tell Mommy you can’t come. But that would be rude, lovely Prinzessin. You must not ask me to do that.

A few minutes later…

Xena: So this is my car, Herr Ludwig. It’s name is T-Lex after my Angel Sister Lexi. It goes really fast, but you mustn’t be afraid. You can look out the windows and see other cars and people and buildings and all kinds of stuff.

This is fun, Prinzessin Xena. I would like to have a T-Lex also.  It is wunderbar.

Xena: Ludwig, wake up! We’re almost home.

Xena: First the important stuff. This is the toy basket. Those are my toys. Understand? My toys.I have no need of toys, beautiful Xena. After all, I have you.

Lucy: Who is your friend, Xena? Can I play with him?

Xena: No! Er, I mean, I’m showing Ludwig around, so please don’t bother us right now. Why don’t you go see if our supper is ready? And ask Mommy to set a place for Ludwig, too.

 

3 hours later…

Xena: What am I gonna do, Lucy?I don’t know, Xena. He’s your problem. You brought him home and told me to stay away from him. All I know is this is my bed and you can’t sleep here.

I am Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with nowhere to lay my head.

A Vet Visit and a Lesson on DNA HW Testing

Xena: How did you like your  bath, Lucy? This is the first one I ever saw you get.

Lucy: It wasn’t bad, especially with Mom in the tub with me. And I want to be clean and smell good to go visit my friends at the vet’s. I even got a pretty scarf.Lucy and Xena: Is it time to go yet, Mom?

Xena: Hey back there! Lucy! What are they going to do to us when we get there?

Lucy: Hmm, I think they’re going to pet us and give us treats.

40 minutes later

Lucy: Hi nice vet lady. What’s your name and where did they take my little sister? Tell the other nice lady to not give her treats. She gave me a treat and Mom yelled at her. Well, she didn’t exactly yell. But Mom told her I’m not allowed to have those kind ’cause of me being on the raw diet. I don’t want the other lady to get in trouble with my Mom.

Dr. Karen: Lucy, sweetheart, you don’t have to worry about Xena getting treats. We are taking a little bit of blood from her leg, just like we’re going to do with you. It doesn’t hurt much, just a quick pinch. 

Lucy: Why are you stealing our blood?

Dr. Karen: Your Mom asked us to do a DNA Heartworm test. That way you don’t have to take heartworm prevention, because it lets us know even if there are tiny little baby heartworms in your blood. If there are, one shot will kill them. The difference between this and what’s called the occult test is the occult heartworm test only lets us know if the heartworms have grown up and are around your heart. Then it is hard and dangerous to kill them. So we are going to do this every 5 1/2 months to make sure you and your little sister are safe from the big bad heartworms.

A little later, after blood is drawn and bill is paid.

Lucy: Wasn’t that fun, Xena? We got new friends and we’re going home now. I lost over five pounds, too. I weigh 51 point 7 pounds. And I heard them say you are up to 15 pounds! You are getting to be a big girl, Xexe. 

Xena: They also squirted some medicine in my mouth (bordetella) and stuck another needle in my butt (3-year rabies). Yep. Fun. *sigh* I’m going to sleep now. Wake me when we get home.

Mom’s note: I started asking myself, “Why am I poisoning my dog every month?” And of course, my answer was so that she didn’t get heartworms, as well as fleas and ticks.  Then I found out about DNA testing for heartworms. It catches any that are present while still in the early stages (microfilea), and they can easily be killed with one shot of ivermectin. The DNA HW test must be repeated every 5 1/2 months. The cost is also less or the same as monthly heartworm prevention, depending on what your dog weighs. I urge you to read about it here. There is also a recipe for all natural flea and tick prevention, as well as mosquito repellent, using essential oils.

I feel like I am slowly navigating my way through a “brave, new world,” defying all the traditional ways our veterinarians are taught to care for our dogs and cats, and learning new, safer ways to keep them safe; ways that my holistic vet wholly embraces. I feel very blessed and less alone to have Dr. Karen by my side on this new journey with my girls.

Xena Visits Adam

I love my brother Adam. He pets me real gently and holds me like I am breakable. He talks softly to me and tells me how good and how pretty I am. Mommy goes to visit him a couple of times a month. Sometimes I get to go, too.  Once in a while Adam calls me Lexi, but that’s OK. Angel Lexi has told me how much she loved Adam, too.

Adam always wears his special leather jacket to see me. I made sure to wear my collar with the diamonds so that I looked extra good.

I’ve gotta go now. Mommy is taking us to get some lunch. I wonder what fine dining drive-through we will go to this time???

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Prinzessin Princess with a brother

 

Tubbie Barker Gets Groomed

Hi, this is Lucy here to tell you about Mom’s latest new groom. (looks around) OK, just wanted to be sure Xena wasn’t going to interrupt me this time with more wild tales.

First up is this 3 month old shih-tzu-Havanese mix who was purchased at a truck stop. Mr. and Mrs. Barker (yes, that’s really their name) were at an Interstate truck stop when this woman approached them with a puppy. The woman said that someone was supposed to meet her there to give her $150 for that puppy, but the buyer never showed up. She asked the Barkers (he,he, I’m sorry, he, he) if they wanted to buy him. She showed them pictures of his litter mates at home. Mrs. Barker looked in her wallet and offered her all she had – $8. The woman said she would take it, since she needed gas money! Mr. Barker came up with another $20, and they now had a new addition to the family. Here is Tubby before and after grooming:Mom said he was a “handful,” just because he was a puppy. Mrs. Barker (he, he, he, he…sorry) was delighted and said he looked like a little boy. She had already asked Mom if she could bring Roxie when she picked up Tubby, so Mom got a bonus groom on Friday. You might remember Roxie, an 11 year old shih tzu poodle mix. This is a picture from the last time Mom groomed her:

This time Mrs. Barker (I’m not gonna laugh, I’m not gonna laugh) wanted most of the hair cut off her legs, so Mom trimmed them really short, but didn’t shave them. Mom said Roxi is almost as sweet as me!

Mom was getting ready to go pull weeds at the church when she got a call from a lady who hadn’t brought her two schnauzers back to Mom to groom for eleven months. Mom thought she had found another groomer. Wrong! Mom told her to come on, she could groom them right then. Here they are pre-and post-groom:

This is Dexter. He’s a 3 year old schnauzer. Yep, same dog in both pictures. He also had some fleas and ticks. He and his sister are outside a lot of the time, running free through the woods and stuff. That sounds like fun.

This is 10 year old Sophie. Sophie had big thick mats and a couple of ticks. When last we met (I heard that phrase and have been waiting to be able to use it), Sophie had a tumor on her ear. It didn’t look good, and Mom was scared it was something bad. Sophie’s Mom took her to the dogtor, who took off the tumor and had it checked. Mom had asked for your prayers for Sophie, and we want to say thank you, because she is fine.

That’s it for this edition of When Mom Grooms.

Love and wiggles, Lucy

Pee Ess: The first picture is of Tubby Barker. *rolls on floor laughing*

Xena’s Big Adventure at Shamrock City

Hi, this is Lucy with another installment of Mom Grooming.

Xena: Wait! I want to tell about my adventures at Shamrock City on St. Patrick’s Day.

Lucy: So that’s where everyone went without me yesterday.

Xena: Yep, and I got poop-faced.

Lucy: Oh, no! Go ahead…I can’t wait to hear about this!

Xena: Te he, well, it started like this. Daddy is the Em Cee during the two weekends of Shamrock City and he teaches Irish folk dance, so he has to go. Mommy doesn’t usually go to Rock City in March ’cause it’s either cold or raining or both. But this year, it was a perfect day with sunshine and the temperature in the 70’s F. On the way up Lookout Mountain Mommy reminded me that I went to Rock City last October, right after my adoption. She said at first I was very scared of the band, but then I realized it wasn’t a monster chasing after me and I relaxed and enjoyed myself.

Mommy, everyone here is wearing green. Why didn’t you get me a St. Patty’s day shirt? Look! The band is getting ready to play!Daddy said they are called the Olta Band and they all live in Chattanooga.

When the Olta Band went on break, Mommy and I (Mommy taught me that is the right way to say that instead of me and Mommy) anyhow me and Mommy and I walked around the park. I read some pee mail and also left some of my own. We saw this amazing green water fall…

…and a plaque that told about the married couple who started Rock City. Their names are Garnet and Frieda Carter. Click on the picture to read about that, but be sure to come back, ’cause I haven’t gotten to the good part yet.

Lucy: So, Xena, where’s the part where you got in trouble?

Xena: I didn’t get in trouble. And I’m getting to it. Be patient!

When we got back to the pavilion, scary Mr. Rocky was there. He tried to be nice to me, but jeepers creepers, wouldn’t you run if you saw him coming at you? But then Mommy wanted to take our picture all together and I was in Daddy’s arm and I knew Daddy wouldn’t let anything bad happen, soooo…I decided to take this opportunity to check out Rocky’s big nose.

Lucy: So did you go get poop-faced to calm your nerves after that?

Xena: No! Will you pleeeease let me tell my story!?

I went to the patio outside the pavilion and relaxed while Mommy finished her Guinness Beer Float. These two came over to steal Mommy’s beer meet us .

The little girl is a miniature schnauzer, like me, only I think God gave her a double portion when he handed out ears. The big girl is half giant schnauzer and half standard poodle.  I don’t remember their names or where they live. You see, I was concentrating on the cup in Mommy’s hand.

They finally left, and Mommy put down her “empty” cup and picked up her Fire tablet to read a book. She looked down when she heard a man behind her laughing.I looked up too, but the cup was stuck on my face.  Mommy got it off right away, ’cause she knows that can be very dangerous. At the time, I didn’t care, ’cause OMD, that Guinness flavored ice cream stuck to the insides of the cup was sooooo tasty!Yep, that’s ice cream residue all over my face, and I couldn’t stop grinning.

So, Lucy, that’s why I want to tell my story today. Can you tell the grooming story another day? Please?

Lucy: Uh, yep. And now I know why you didn’t go to Shamrock City with Dad today.

This is Xena, the brave Schnauzer Warrior Princess taking a “rest” day at home.

 

 

Thursday is my Friday

Everyone talks about Friday being their last work day. Mine is Thursday. It’s a good day. I get to see some of my favorite people, and this week was special. On Wednesday, there was a meeting of lots of ladies and they ate lunch together in a big room upstairs. On the way to work, Mommy told me this was going to happen, and she explained how she expected me to behave. This was the first time I was around more than just a few people. I was a brave girl, and was nice to everyone. Mommy said she was very, very proud of me.

The whole thing was fun but exhausting, so after my lunch I needed to take a long rest with Mr. Hedgehog. Herr Ludwig came over to say hi, and then had to go back to guarding Mommy’s printer.

On Thursday, Mommy told me the same thing on the way to work, but that it was going to be a big group of nice pastors meeting in the church-instead of nice lady members-who all want to pet me. I went up to the pastors and wagged my tail and gave them my most adorable look.  They all bought it thought I was pretty, and I got lots of attention. Later, Pastor Evelyn told Mommy that when they went into the big room called the sanctuary, I went as far as the door and didn’t go in. She said I was a very good girl. ( I remembered that Mommy told me not to go in there, so I guess I was a good girl.)

Thursday was sunny and warm, so, after everyone left, me and Mommy went outside for a while. I found that some other dog had been in my church yard and left his poop there. Mommy said, “Ick! Leave it.” The grass is full of interesting smells. 

Pretty soon it was time to go home, go for a walk, eat my supper, visit with Lucy, and go to bed. It’s been a very busy week.

I am Xena the Very Good Girl Schnauzer Warrior Princess

I Shopped at Walmart

On the way home from work, I got to go shopping at Walmart with Mommy. When we first parked, I didn’t know where we were. Then I saw the sign.

I started looking for where we would go into the store.

Then Mommy told me that someone else had already done the shopping for us, so I should watch for them to come out with a big rolling cart.

I saw a lot of cars going by and hoped the store person didn’t have to cross that dangerous traffic with my food.

Then I saw the door where people were coming and going, and figured that must be where all the good food came out, too.

Since I had to wait, I decided to check out lunch leftovers. Dang, nothing but an empty bag. Yep, lunch is why my beard looks like this, BOL! I think that’s my tummy I hear growling.

Look smart! Here they come! Mmmm, I hope there’s lots of goodies in there for me and Lucy.

Hey! Stop putting those in the trunk! Put those chickie wings in the back seat where I can eat them NOW. My Guardian Angel Lexi taught me that NOW is when I should get the things I want. It was part of her mantra.

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess Walmart Shopper

Happy Birthday Madi

Today for Madi’s 16th Birthday Celebration, Mom will tell about how she learned to drive.

Xena: *yawn*

My Grandma was afraid to teach Mom, so she hired a professional driving teacher when Mom was 17. He said she was “a natural” and she passed her driving test the first time.

Xena: Seriously? People get paid to teach people how to drive? It just doesn’t look that hard. Push a stick here, turn a wheel there, move your feet around, and voilà, we are where we are going. Kind of sounds like a Dr. Seuss story, doesn’t it? 

Don’t interrupt me, Xena. Where was I? Oh yes. Just a year or so sooner and Mom would have learned in the family ’54 Buick Century. The seats were blue, so Grandma called it Blue Belle. Grandma had to get another car because of all the salt on the roads to melt the snow. The salt killed that big, heavy car. Even its eyes fell in. This is a picture of what it looked like (credit to Mr. Google). 

Xena: No wonder Mommy doesn’t let us have much salt. Uh, Lucy, isn’t that Angel Lexi in the back seat? Was she with Mom way back then?

Um, I don’t think so, Xe. We’ll have to check with Mom about that.

Here’s a picture from January, 1960, of the actual car with my Grandma and her sister in front of the apartment where Mom grew up. 

Xena: Wait, Lucy. Who is that running from behind the bush?

*eyes wide* Let’s just keep going.

When Mom got a boyfriend…

Xena: Mommy got a boyfriend? Really? You’re fibbing, Luce. Mommy would never have a boyfriend. She’s married to Daddy.

When Mom got her first boyfriend a long time before she met Dad, he taught her how to drive something called a straight shift in his old Chevy Nova. We have another picture of what it looked like, courtesy again of Mr. Google. Mom says it was old and beat up and had red seats and didn’t look nearly that good.

Here’s the funny part. Her boyfriend lived out in the country with lots of woods. One part had a dirt track around it, so he showed Mom how to change gears and told her to just drive around the track. She got going too fast and forgot which foot to use for the brake ’cause there were now three pedals instead of two. This silly boy stood in the track waving his arms and yelling at her to stop. She didn’t want to run him over so she swerved into the woods and the car bumped over rocks and big sticks and barely missed trees until it finally stalled out on top of a log. A few days later, after he fixed his car, he took Mom into town and told her to drive his car around while he went into a store. The main road, State Street, was on a bit of a hill. Mom had stopped at a red light, and the car behind her kept running into her bumper. Finally, the man got out of his car and came up to Mom’s window. He explained that it was her drifting back into him, and did she have her foot on the break. She said no, just on the clutch. So that’s how Mom learned to drive a stick shift.

Xena: I think I will just learn to drive our T-Lex. 

Our what?

Xena: Our T-Lex. That’s what Mommy named the car she bought for Angel Lexi before Lexi was an Angel. It’s a Toyota Lexus, hence T-Lex. Isn’t Mommy funny, he, he? How old do I have to be to drive?

I think 16 years old.

Xena: Oh. Well let’s just wish Madi of Madi and Mom a very, very happy 16th birthday, and happy driving!

Lots of love from Lucy, Xena and Mom

This is a blog hop, but since Mom isn’t smart enough can never get linked up properly, just hop over to Madi and Mom’s blog to leave your birthday wishes and hop along.

Baby Held

It’s Baby Hold time at work. And guess who the baby is.

I learned a new song and I’m going to sing it for all my friends:
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Did you like my song? I’ve got more where that came from.

Mmm. It feels so good to throw my head back and stre-e-e-etch.

Sleepy? Why do you think I’m *yawn* sleepy?Mmm. Mommy hugs are *yawn* good too.I am Xena, the Baby Held Schnauzer Princess …Warrior?

Dog Chew Recalls

After having gone through two recalls when I was feeding Blue Buffalo, I know it is important to get the info as soon as possible. The first recall was in 2010 and caused by a mix-up of the ferret vitamin K formula with the dog formula. It killed several dogs across the country. At the time, I housed our own Lexi and Riley plus my friend’s two schnauzers – Piper and Milo – and my husband’s two dogs, Lily and Ivy, who lived with us every other week. It caused them all to have uncontrollable urination. We had just moved and planned to have the carpet replaced with hardwood in a couple of years, after we had recovered from the cost of the move. Ended up we were unable to wait, which is why you see the wood floors throughout the house in pictures I post. I was very thankful that they all recovered from that without any lasting effects. I kept feeding Blue Buffalo, reasoning that the safest restaurant to go to was one who had just failed their health inspection, since they were the most conscious of scrutiny and doing things correctly. So, I thought, it would be the same with this major dog food manufacturer.

                            Piper (front) Milo (rear)

One year later all the dogs came down with diarrhea. I immediately checked dog food recalls and found it was, once again, Blue Buffalo.

Click here to see the latest recalls. This time, it’s on dog chews. If you haven’t already subscribed, I strongly urge you to get on the e-mail list for all dog and cat food recalls at dogfoodadvisor.com.  It’s a free service. 

Lexi the Schnauzer and Riley

Of course, I now believe the safest way to feed is to make your own, whether it is cooked or raw.  And the nutrition derived from a home-made diet far outweighs the “added” vitamins and minerals” in the kibble. Happy and safe feeding to all. ❤

This is Lucy and Xena, and we approve this message.

A Happy Ending or The Cruel Cut

I am so very happy to see you again my Prinzessin Xena.

Why are you back Ludwig. Didn’t Mommy tell you to stay away from me? Come any closer and I will bite your face again.

All the face-biting in the world will not keep me from you, beautiful one. If that is what I must endure to be close to you, then so sei es. You truly are a Warrior Prinzessin.

Well, I won’t be your girlfriend. I want to keep my options open. My Guardian Angel Lexi told me she was almost 12 years old before she got a boyfriend. She had her career to think about and couldn’t be distracted. She was a famous actress, you know. I might be famous at something someday too. And besides, how do I know it’s safe to be around you? You certainly haven’t been behaving yourself.

No need to worry about that any more, my lovely one. The Mommy had that problem “fixed.”

This is Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with a safe new friend.