Christmas Week’s Not Quite Wordless Wednesday: The New PJ’s Argument

Thanks to Comedy Plus 
for hosting Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.

Chia: We’re goin’ up North next month, and Mom wanted me to have something warm to wear, so she lengthened something called a pattern that she used to make Xena’s clothes and tailored it just for me. The first problem occurred cutting the plush fleece material. The cut edges shed like a reindeer in the middle of summer so she did a zig zag stitch along the edges. (Do you wanna see me zig zag? I’m good at it!) Then she discovered the material was too thick and her machine wouldn’t sew it. But Mom loves me sooooo much that she sewed it all by hand. That took about 87 hours (that she should have used playing with me!)

She was finally done and it was time for me to try it on.

Seriously? I look like an armadillo. Is this really next Halloween’s costume?

Mom, did you notice one leg is longer than the other? And my hiney is hanging out.

What did I ever do to deserve this. Wait, don’t answer that.

Mom finally had mercy on me and helped me out of it before I chewed my the pajama leg off. I hope I never see that torture thing again!

A very short while later…

Chia: Hey you! Who said you could wear that?

Xena: Mom said it didn’t fit you and you don’t want it. It’s mine now. It sure is cozy warm.

Chia: No! It’s MINE!

Xena: *yawn* I’m so comfy I think I’ll take a nap.

Do you like my new jammies?

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Warrior Wolves Jammies.

R2D2 Xena

Lookie what my Auntie Jen gave me so I can stay warm all winter long!She said it was Angel Piper’s hoodie, and now it can be mine. I wonder if Piper ever pretended to be R2D2 from Star Wars. Beep, boop, beep, beep! He, he.  I’ve been wearing my new hoodie to bed ’cause Mommy and Daddy are too cheap to keep the house warm like to sleep in a cool house. Thank you, Piper and Auntie Jen. We love you!

I am Xena the R2D2 Schnauzer

Last Day of Rocktoberfest

Sunday was the last day of Rocktoberfest 2018 and it was my turn to go! It was a different band, and they were fun to listen to. Come on, Mommy, let’s go ‘sploring!So Mommy helped me off with my sweater, since the day was warming up, and I went on a long walk through the Fat Man’s Squeeze and caverns and magical places. (And I wasn’t a-scared at all!) We didn’t see any fairies this time, even though I checked in all the places they might hide.

 

 

Nope, nothing up there but my shadow. Hi, shadow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

These rocks were much too slippery to try to explore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oooh, it looks like jewels up on the rocks. Maybe there are fairies here!

 

 

 

 

 

Are we lost, Mommy? I heard something behind us. Oh look, directions, sorta’. Now let’s see if we can find any gnomes.We only found Ik, and he’s not a gnome. I turned and headed back to the pavilion to find my Daddy. I could hear him teaching polka, so I followed the sound of his voice. When we got back, I got my very own sauerkraut, and then I ate half a nice lady’s sauerkraut, too. (She said it was ok, she was done with it.) A few minutes later I gave them back their sauerkraut, as well as a bonus of some of chicken innards from my breakfast, too. Mommy had to find someone to help clean up the mess.Before the day was over Daddy grabbed Mommy to dance a swing and a foxtrot. The guy who played the elk horn and the ringy dingy bells came over to make me stop barking pet me while I watched, tied to a bench.  I just wanted to dance, too!

So that was the end of the fun at Rocktoberfest 2018. We all hope you enjoyed hearing about it. Goodbye, dear October. We’ll enjoy you again next year.

Xena the Rocktoberfest Barfing Schnauzer Warrior Princess

 

A Visit with My Cousins

Hi friends! I’ve been gone away all weekend with my Mommy. Did you miss me? We went to visit with Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill and my cousins Piper and Ella. Ella remembered me!

Xena! You’re here!

Ella is a great sister to Piper. Since his eyes don’t work anymore, he can get lost when he’s out in the big fenced back yard. So Ella goes out and helps him find his way back to the door. She’s Piper’s seeing eye dog! When she isn’t helping Piper, she likes to watch TV, especially the sports stuff.

I think they called that play wrong.

At first I didn’t recognize Piper. He sleeps a whole lot now (he’s 14 years old) and his beard gets all matted, so Auntie Jen cut it off. Ever wonder what a schnauzer would look like without a beard?

 I can’t tell who’s there. Say something.

Yep, well, Piper also gets cold real easy ’cause – according to Mommy – he doesn’t have any meat on his bones. Isn’t that a funny thing to say? So me and Ella went with Mommy and Auntie Jen to the Co Pet Place in search of a new sweater for Piper. I saw a dog coming out as we were going in so I started to bark and I barked the whole way going in and I barked inside, too. I was screaming “Beware! The Schnauzer Warrior Princess is here!” Soon I found out that I was to be the model, er fitter, er ummm, sir-eee-gut for Piper. How it worked was whenever Mommy found something that she thought would work well for Pipie (I like to call my cuz Pipie), she would try it on me and if it was a little big on me, she knew it would fit him. ‘For too long, Mommy and Auntie Jen found matching hoodies for Pipie and Ella and a new toy for Ella ’cause she was so good getting her nails cut at the Co Pet Place.  No, I didn’t get anything, but I really didn’t mind this time.

‘For too long, we got back to Ella’s house and my cousins got to try on their new hoodies. Since Piper can’t see anymore, I guess it didn’t matter that the hoodie fell down over his eyes.

Piper said he at least needed to hear, so his Mommy helped him out with that.

Actually, Ella’s came down over her eyes too.

I suppose that’s why she kept squeaking her new Valentine’s bear and didn’t see that it was drawing someone who wanted her stuffie.

In the meantime, my Auntie Jen was making weird beeping sounds and laughing. I think it had something to do with the new hoodies. Then this happened.

Mom! Piper has my new stuffie!

Turns out Pipie just wanted to check out what was squeaking and Ella soon had her stuffie back. We had a great time, except for one yuckie incident, which Mommy will tell you about another time.

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess telling it like it is at the Co Pet Store.

 

 

 

Life’s Short, Bite Hard

One of my blogging friends told me I did the right thing putting my stink on my new bed. Once my stink is on it, it is mine! With that in mind, I decided to get as much of my stink on the bed of He-Who-No-Longer-Exists as I could. Besides, he’s been gone about 87 days and I think by law he has forfeited his right to this bed. Maybe Frankie or Ernie could tell me for sure.

Mommy found Angel Lexi’s other shirt – she only had two shirts and a hoodie because of how much she hated clothes – and tried it on me. It’s the tiniest bit too big, but I have been wearing it anyhow. Maybe I will get more inspiration from Angel Lexi that way – or maybe she is just laughing at me! Can you read it? It says Life Is Short Bite Hard. BOL!

I am biting hard on this bone, for sure!

Hi Daddy! Don’t worry, I won’t bite you.

Lucy: Dad! Don’t let Xena bite me any more! My face already hurts from her teeth.

I am just going to hide out here in the bedroom until that shirt comes off Xena.

 

I think I will log some more hours in MY bed. Catch ya’ll later. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Snow and My New Bedtime Equipment

 

Did I tell you it did something called snow here on Tuesday? We left work early before the white stuff started falling out of the sky.

It’s time to go home already? I haven’t had my lunch!

Later, when me and Lucy went outside to potty, there was snow all over the ground. I didn’t like it much, but I did what I had to and went back in the house. Lucy had seen snow when she went to Ill in Noise with Daddy over Christmas. She didn’t seem to like it much either.

“What the dog is this stuff? Oh yeah, I remember now.”

“Let me in! It’s not supposed to do this here.”

The next morning we went to work late, so Mommy used the time to make me another shirt just like the first one, but it’s a large instead of a medium. She’s gotten faster, too. The first one took 3 1/2 hours. This one only took about 1 1/2 hours! I am wearing it in the picture of me (at the top).

Mommy didn’t want the Looster to be jealous of all my fine new clothes, but she can’t find a pattern big enough for her. Instead, she ordered her a new coat from Mrs. Amazon. It is a late birthday present, since the Smart Pet place didn’t have any to fit her, either.

It’s got snaps underneath and the big fleece collar is her hood that snaps on and off. It will keep her warm when it gets cold outside again. Maybe she will stop pulling my sweater off me now!

Finally, here’s my surprise…my new bedtime equipment:

This is what’s called a game-changer. Or steps. They used to belong to Angel Lexi, but that’s me on them now. I don’t have to wake Dad up to put me back in bed anymore. I go zoom! up and down so fast, maybe it is part of my super powers!

I am Xena the Schnauzer Princess Warrior with bed steps

How I Got a New Shirt

I told Mommy my jammies are getting too small. Daddy said I am just getting too big. Huh? Anyhoo, Daddy went to work and Mommy shut me in the bathroom all by myself except for my bed and my bully horn and my Christmas reindeer, and went shopping. I thought that was strange since I always go to the store to try on my clothes. Except for the last sweater she bought me at a stupid store that doesn’t allow dogs, but I like my sweater.

When she got home the first thing she did after putting away our new meat and taking me and the Looster (he, he, do you like my new nickname for Lucy?) for a walk, was to open up all this paper and cloth and lay it out on the kitchen counter.

Mommy said she got something called a pattern so she could make me lots of new clothes. Woo hoo! Some of the paper pattern fell on the floor, so I tried to help.

Mommy kept wrapping the paper around my neck and body. It made funny crinkly noises, but I didn’t freak and got a cookie for being a good, brave girl.  87 hours later (Mom’s note: 3 1/2 hours), I had my first new outfit. Mommy said there is enough material to make another one for when this one gets dirty. A-a-a-and, she got some really soft, cozy, warm cloth to make me jammies for the cold nights. I think she better get busy while I work on my bully horn!

Pee S: Can you see the pretty pansies she put on the back of my new shirt?

Pee Pee S: I think Lucy is jealous.

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with a snazzy new outfit.

Schnauzer Shopping

What? You thought Mommy was looking for another ME? He, he, she says I wear her out totally enough all by my little self.

Still no sign of Lucy or Daddy. But I did hear Mommy tell Riley that Lucy would be gone for a few days, so he might as well stop looking for her. He seemed to accept that, as he went and laid down.

Mommy did take me shopping to the Smart Pet place, where all the clothes were 40% off. I guess they needed more doggies trying on clothes to make them 100% on. I tried on a lot of clothes.

I like this one, Mommy. It shows everyone I am a Princess, but this skirt’s too long; I can’t walk right.

 

I like that pink one better, Mommy. It has bone pictures on it and is real soft and pretty. I could feel it was too big, though. Can you find a smaller size?

 

OK, so the smaller one with bone pictures is too small. I know this one with the knit flowers is your favorite, Mommy, but it doesn’t feel like it fits me right, especially around my front legs.

 

I am beginning to understand how Angel Lexi felt about clothes…please make the people stop laughing.

We went home empty-pawed. Then Mommy went to a non-Smart Pet store where the prices were half as much as even the 40% off (I don’t understand any of this) and…

No! That isn’t pink and doesn’t have any bows or crowns or skirts or sheep ears and tails…wait…no sheep ears and tails!

 

Yep, this one fits good, Mommy, and it is warm and comfy. This is the one I want! Is this my 6 month birthday pressie? Can I keep it? Do you think Lucy will like how I look in it? Where’s Lucy?

This is Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with only my own ears and tail and no idea where my sister and Daddy are.

All About Xena

Hi Friends. Do you ever look at me and say, “She’s really grown!” You’re right! I did gain over a pound in just three weeks, making me 11 pounds, seven ounces heavy. And I’ve grown taller too! I’m almost 13 inches tall!! My sister Angel Lexi was 14 inches, so I’m almost as tall as her (at the shoulder). Mommy thinks I am growing up way too fast, BOL. She also thinks she didn’t get a good measurement from squirmy me, so there may be an update on that.

I have lost all my puppy teeth and have all my big dog teeth now. I really show them off when Lucy plays bitey face with me. And they work great for tearing holes in my playpen. I have a huge hole in the back side, but I have to jump up and down a lot to get the playpen to move away from the fake glass door so I can get out. I don’t know what Mommy’s thinking, pushing it up against the wall like that. To make things easier, I made a second hole in the end, and now I can come and go as I want.

Since the playpen is no good for “containing” me, Mommy shuts me in the big bathroom when she can’t take me with her, like to the store or the dentist. I learned that it is fun to pull all the tee pee paper off the roll. And I managed to get the door open that goes from there into Andrew’s bedroom. I heard Mommy come home today, so I ran into Andrew’s room, to the door that goes to the hallway.  I heard her calling me, so I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t come open the door. I didn’t know Mommy had come in behind me from the bathroom, and she scared the pee pee out of me when she touched me. The loose tee pee paper was then put to good use.

I’ve learned a lot of other things, too. If I walk under Lucy while she is walking I don’t get run over. AND  I can bite her legs. I have to be careful to not stop and laugh; that’s when she reaches down and grabs me by the beard. Barking about Lucy and my beard, she has found it keeps the flavors of my food and she likes to lick it, te, he. Also barking about my beard, Mommy washes my face every day before we go to work. I don’t like it, but that hasn’t stopped her. And I get all my longer hair – I have hair, not fur – combed out real pretty then, too.

I know “sit” and do it faster than lightening! I’m still working on “down” which means to lay clear down with my belly on the floor. I know what it means; I just don’t like doing it, and I get back up right away. I know I am supposed to potty outside All. The. Time. Sometimes I don’t know how to tell Mommy, and sometimes it hits so fast that I don’t have time to tell Mommy. So now there is a jingly thing hanging down low on the back door handle where I can reach it. Mommy keeps hitting it with her finger and sometimes takes my paw and hits it before she takes me out. I think this might have something to do with me going out to potty. I will think more about that later.

I am learning how to type. I learned the thing on the desk is called a mouse, and when Mommy moves it around I can see the very tip of its tail on the puter picture place. I watch it run all over that picture place. Daddy said if I am a good girl, Santa might bring my very own puter from a special company called Mattel. Or maybe one from Playschool. Anyhow, it’s going to be a great puter from one of the big puter companies. Then maybe I can get my own desk and chair from a great company like Mattel, too.

Every night before I go to sleep in the big bed, I put on my jammies. OK, Mommy helps me some. I love my jammies and always wag my tail and try to help. I get to wear them for my first and second outie in the early morning, too, when it is still cold outside.

Lucy is my very bestest friend. We share everything. Sometimes we even stick our heads in a food bowl at the same time and share what is in it.

We don’t fight or argue. At least not since she promised to never help He-Who-No-Longer-Exists [Riley], be mean to me.But sometimes Lucy gets up on the bed without me. I think she must forget that I can’t jump that high yet. She should stay on the couch, where I can jump up.

I hope you have liked reading all about me. I will be sure to come visit and ask Mommy to read to me, all about you!

Christmassy love from me, Xena, the Schnauzer Warrior Princess ❤

 

My New Sweater

Mom took me to the smart pet place and I tried on lots of clothes. She finally decided on this sweater to keep me warm this winter. I think I look quite pretty in it. I got to wear it  for the first time today because it was 32 degrees (that’s 0 degrees centigrade, says Mom) cold out this morning.

Here comes Xena. We are getting along great now. We are playing all the time. She makes ahrahrahr noises at me and I make them back at her while we play bitey face. Sometimes we play chase, too. It’s a modified bully breed kind of playing. I know now I have to be gentle with her, because 1. She is not a bully breed and 1. She is still a baby and 1. I don’t want to get into any more trouble. And besides, now I have clothes, just like her.

I love you, little sister. *licky kisses* Mmmm, your beard tastes good.

Love, Licks and wiggles,

Lucy

Wordless Wednesday Wakened Warrior

We are joining  BlogPaws for Wordless Wednesday this week!

Shhh..I’m trying to sleep a few more minutes before going to work.

Xena the Sleepy Schnauzer Warrior Princess

My Cuteness-Helper Vest

I got a new walking vest. You can see my Howloween bow sticking out from under it.

 

Mommy said I would need all the help I could get to look cute the next time I potty in the house.

Hmmm. I wonder what she meant by that….anyhoo, I’ll show her cute.

I’m sorry, Mommy. I won’t do it again. *paws crossed*

 

I think that worked! Now it’s play time!

I am Xena the (almost) Contrite Schnauzer Warrior Princess

One Lovely Blog Award – for ME!

Woo hoo! Another award! I love awards. Like my Annie Award for being the best ever dog in a play (or something like that). And I love this award. It is so pretty.  Thank you, Puppy Doc and Samantha at Musings of Puppy Doc. You are my newest friends.

Now, according to the rules (below) I have to share 7 facts about myself. Hmm, how can I limit this to only 7… he, he.

1. I am a svelt 20.5 pounds because I lost 4.5 pounds over the last few months. Mom took away my canned food and topped my kibble with veggies!
2. My most favorite thing in the whole world is acting on stage. I even got a special blue lucite award with my name on it (the Annie Award I mentioned above) for “Director’s Choice.” I could be on stage every night and never get tired of it.
3. My second most favorite thing in the whole world is therapizing kids at the kid’s hospital. I only get to go once a month because there are so many dogs who like to do this, but I am the only smaller dog. I sit in the bed with the little ones, and grin the whole time I am there.
4. Of course, my very, very most favorite thing in the whole world is treats. I get treats while I act and before I therapize. I get a go to the mailbox treat when I am home with Dad and a night night treat. My BFF Carrie brings me treats to work at St. Timothy’s and my new BFF Dave brings me a treat to work at St. Luke. And now my newest friend Beth brings me a treat on Thursdays to St Luke.
5. I hate being groomed and I hate getting baths. Mom says I creep when I am on the groom table, and I should know better after 12 years of getting groomed every month. I still think I could creep right off that table one of these times.
6. Even more than being groomed, I hate wearing clothes. I mean, I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate wearing clothes of any kind. When I was younger I would stand like a statue if Mom put clothes on me. She could pick me up and set me down somewhere else and my body would remain rigid like it was made of plaster. Now, I run around in spurts like a crazy dog. Run, freeze, run, freeze.
7. I am not a cuddler or a huggie girl. I like my space. If I want pet I will let you know. I will continue to let you know until I feel you have pet me enough. Then you need to leave me alone. Don’t hug me. I let the sick kids at the hospital hug me, and my Auntie Jen, but that’s it. Don’t cuddle me. I will run away from you.
8. Yes, I can count, but I have one more thing to tell you. Here it is: I am smart. Don’t try to pull anything over on me, ’cause it most likely won’t work. And if it does work, and I figure it out, I will pee in your bed, on your side of the bed. And you won’t know it until you are so tired you can barely stand up and you start to slide into bed and suddenly realize it is cold and wet and smells bad. Bwahaha!

Here are my nominees: (Noodle, dear, you have already been nominated, or you would have been first on my list, sweetie pie.)

Shoko and Kali of  The Canadian Cats

Ray of A Dog’s Life? (Stories of me and him)

Rachel of rachelmankowitz

Belle, Bess and Bonnie of Three Pups and a Couple of Kitties

Sidney, Shelby and Sophie of corkscot

Dante of The Dante Diaries

Jasper and Nellie of  jaspersdoggyworld

Kismet (you mean old bird, you) of kylascott

Sammie of  Saving Sammie

 

The Fine Print for the Nominees:

1-Thank the person who nominated you and link their blog in the post.
2-Copy the rules and add the blog award badge as an image
3-Share 7 facts about yourself to your fellow bloggers.
4-Then nominate 15 people (I of course didn’t do this many ).

 

Breaking the Rules

My rule is No Hoodie. Mom’s rule is Stay Off the Driver. Mom broke my rule, so I broke hers. On the way to work this morning:

   Two can play this game.

Operation Hoodie

When my peeps brothers were little, our Mom used to make a lot of their clothes. Often to match, sometimes for halloween.  They were very young and didn’t know to protest.

Adam, Mom, and Andew L-R) – many moons ago.

Sorry about quality of shot – these are old pictures.

I have seen Mom at the sewing machine from time to time, usually to make a repair, but never to torture me with clothes. We got a cold spell and out came my hoodie. Even though I lost weight, it was still a bit snug. Plus, since it pulls on over my head, I stand on my hind legs to get it off. With the hip dysplasia, that is no longer the best option. So Mom got an idea.

Mom had an idea. She wasted no time heading to the sewing machine.

First, she used what she calls pinking shears to open up the belly of my hoodie. Poor hoodie. She used some material originally bought for another project, cut it to fit, sewed velcro onto it, then sewed it onto my poor hoodie.

Operation on my hoodie.

Finally:

An extension panel with a velcro closure on my Hoodie’s bellie

Then came the test drive: