The Alleged Snake on Awww Monday

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays and hoping even snakes qualify as awws, BOL.

Xena: So Lucy, remember that snake I barked at in our dog lot last summer? Or maybe it was two summers ago. I’ve lost track of time since we’ve all been home together for over a year. But do you remember?

Lucy: Sorta. You stood there barking until Mom took a look and told you to leave it alone. Are you trying to say the snake we all saw last night – and that brother Andrew saw over the weekend – is the same one that you saw one or two summers ago?

Xena: I think so. It’s grown, too! And it held perfectly still just like when I barked at it in the dog lot. I think Andrew eggzagerated when he showed us how big around it was!

Daddy was quick and got a picture. Him and Mommy got up pretty close to it for a good look-see and declared it safe, just like Mommy used to do when her boys were little. Andrew stayed down in the driveway. Mommy says him and his big brother Adam used to play with snakes when they were kids. They would bring them in the house and play with them on the kitchen counter until it was time for their dad – not our dad, they had a different dad back then – to come home from work. He was scared of snakes, so they had to take the snakes back to where they found them and let them go. Nothing ever got mentioned that snakes had been in the house playing with the kids.

Lucy: I don’t think this one’s coming in. It’s gotta be about eight feet long. I think it’s got it’s own home under the shed, and maybe some babies of it’s own, too. Mom and Dad both said it’s a garter snake. It’ll eat the rodents and some of the bugs and lizards around here.

Xena: No! I don’t want it to eat my lizards! They’re my lizards. We play the hunt game together every day.

They’re MY lizards, now! Hissssssssss.

Modeling, Woofs, and a Surprise

It’s been a beautiful day, an outside kind of day. It ‘s been sunny with temperatures  in the low 80’s F (26 C).  I was enjoying getting my picture taken, and I was especially enjoying being allowed out back in the dog lot. It had been “off limits” for a couple of months because Mom spread grass seed and a natural fertilizer. Boy, was that natural good to eat, but it sure did make us sick! Most of the new grass has grown in and there is still straw over the parts that are still bald, he, he, bald yard, he, he.Xena was running all over the lot and sniffing along the perimeter. She was really happy because she doesn’t have to wear her Big Girl Panties when she’s outside. Before long, Xe ran up and gave me a play bow to get me to chase her. She led me up to the side fence facing the woods, where I turned around to give Mom another good camera shot. (That’s a technical term in the modeling business.) I have really started to enjoy posing for pictures. I’m thinking maybe I could make a career out of modeling. Although I really do like my job as a reporter. Wait, I’m getting off-subject. (That’s a technical reporter term.)

XeXe was really intent on something outside of the fence.  She kept woofing something at me while I was trying to give Mom a good shot. Anyhow, I finally got Xena turned around to face the camera phone. I didn’t want to be known as a camera hog (another technical term).I was shocked when Xena said, “OK, OK, are you happy? Now leave me alone, Lucy! I’m doing something important out here. I brought you over to help, but all you want to do is get your picture taken.” She kept her mouth closed the whole time she said that so that the picture would be over with fast.  I don’t know how she woofed at me with her mouth closed; maybe it was the beard. Anyhow, I have never known my sister to be a serious type of girl, so I didn’t quite know how to take it.

Offended, I went back to my original spot and casually kept an eye on her. Next thing I knew, she was barking her fool head off at something. Her bark sounded different than usual, maybe a bit less sure, but still insistent.

Mom was following Xena’s stare, trying to figure out what she was barking at. I also went over to check it out, but stopped several feet away when I saw what it was. Yep, a four-foot long snake on our side of the fence! Once we all backed away — at Mom’s urging — it wove its way back and forth through the chain link fence and into the woods from where it came. I guess I owe XeXe an apology…nah. But I am going to tell her how stupid brave she was.

Lucy, Ace Reporter and Model in Training *wags and wiggles*

Note from the Mom: Xena was very brave, indeed. I am very thankful it was a non-poisonous garter snake!