Xena's Story Part 5

Lucy: Your stories are selling like hotcakes, Xena. We should be getting royaltreats or something like that. I’m going to check with our publicist. Oh Mo-o-o-o-ommm…

Xena: What’s the “we?” I’m doing all the work.

If you missed any of our story, you can click on Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 and Part 4. It’ll help Part 5 make more sense…

Xena’s story: A Dog and her Cat Friends, with another Plot Hound, Part Five

The driver in the old truck barked at them to stop. “Y’all stop now, y’hear? I’m your ride to the big white house. Didn’t Ho No tell y’all to ‘spect me?”

“So you aren’t the ICY Plott Hound from Texas?” the two friends asked.

“Golly no, I’m a NICE Plott Hound from the hills of Georgia. My name’s Sally. That thar one you mentioned is my cousin Leroy. He thanks he’s hot stuff. Come on and jump in the back and I’ll getcha where yer goin”.

“I think we should trust her,” whispered Xe. “What do you want to do, Tye?”

“Let’s get in. We can always jump out if it’s a trick. But my gut feeling is she’s one of the good hounds.” So off they went in the back of the truck, getting ever closer to the big white house.

*87 hours later* (It was an old, slow truck.)

“Here we are, little ladies,” woofed Sally, “the big white house is thar, behind all those bushes. Which reminds me, it’s time for a potty break.”

“Let’s go find the person who can help us stop this unjust incarceration of Siamese cats,” meowed Tye. She jumped out the window of the truck, and Sally helped Xe down from the truck bed. Before she would go any further, Xe ran a comb through her beard and leggings and put on her favorite scarf, so as to make a good impression on the person in charge. Xe asked Sally, “Is this the big white house?”

“Well,” Sally replied as she hurried off to do her bizness in the bushes, ” it is a big white house, now ain’t it?” After bagging up her droppings in a Mickey D’s carry out container left over from lunch the previous day, Sally hopped behind the wheel and drove off in a cloud of white exhaust fumes.

After Xe and Tye stopped coughing, they climbed the many steps up to the front door of the big white house, where they woofed and meowed as loudly as they could until the door opened. Upon telling the door man why they were there, they were ushered into a stately sitting room, where they waited for the Person In Charge, who they decided to refer to as PIC.

Pretty soon the PIC entered the room. Xe had seen pictures of the ICY PIC who lived there, and was not looking forward to this encounter. As expected, this man was tall, made even taller by the stove top hat he was wearing. “That’s different – I’ve never seen him wear a hat on TV,” thought Xe. His hair wasn’t that fake yellow, and his face didn’t look the same, either. Maybe a new person had moved in and taken over, she thought. He lowered himself into the largest chair in the room and removed his black hat. “Welcome to the big white house,” he said congenially. “What can I do for you today?”

“I would like some fresh meat and veggies, please,” Xe politely asked, just before her stomach started growling again.

Tye started to protest, meowing that wasn’t the reason they were there, but the NICE PIC clapped his large hands. The person who answered the door entered the room, and the NICE PIC told him to bring his guests food, saying, “No one can think right on an empty stomach. Give them whatever they want.”

Xe requested salmon, and whatever fresh veggies were available. After thinking for only a moment, Tye asked for shrimp. While they were eating, the NICE PIC told them entertaining stories about his childhood and his beloved dogs and cats. Soon they were able to relax with full bellies and an affinity for the NICE PIC.

Tye settled into her new friend’s lap, partially slipping under his suit coat to keep warm. Xe sat at his feet while they took turns relating the injustice of incarcerating innocent Siamese cats, as well as the horrors of the detention center. The NICE PIC, who said they could just call him Abe, softly stroked Tye while listening attentively. As their story came to an end, he promised to make a Proclamation declaring all animals and people equal, and that he would put an immediate end to the detentions. They sensed he was an honest person, and thanked him profusely.

“Now, let’s get a picture of us all for posterity,” he said. I believe this day will go down in history. Xe was very glad she had spiffed herself up after her long journey, and hoped no food was stuck to her beard as was wont to happen. Abe assured her that she looked lovely, so she relaxed and faced the camera.

The two friends accepted the invitation to stay the night, and, after a night-night treat, slept soundly in a big soft bed.

The next morning they all ate hearty breakfasts which had been prepared specifically to each of their tastes and diets. It was a beautiful, sunny day and Xe and Tye were outside taking care of necessary business in the bushes when a shadow suddenly covered them both. Tye began to jump up and down, meowing loudly. Xe thought the shadow must be from a cloud until she looked up – and would have wet her pants if she had any on and if she hadn’t already taken care of that business – and saw something she thought was only in story books. Abe had offered them a helicopter ride back to Tennessee, but it seemed they wouldn’t need to use it after all.

Be sure to check out what actually happens next by reading Shoko’s story at The Canadian Cats this Friday! Then come back next Monday for the grand finale of my story.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy as my Editor

Xena's Story Part 4

Lucy: Xena, you’re on a roll, so take it away!

Xena: Take it away where? What are you talking about, Lucy? I’m watching to see where this squirrel goes.

Lucy: I mean, go ahead with more of your story. Your adoring fans are waiting to hear what happens next. *sigh* I’ll watch the squirrel for you.

If you missed any of our story, you can click on Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3. It’ll help Part 4 make more sense…

Xena’s story: A Dog and her Cat Friends, with another Plot Hound, Part Four

With a newly-found resolve, Xe and Tye headed in the general direction they thought was toward Tennessee. It was early morning, so they kept the sun on their right as they walked. From old habits in Siam, where Tye was from, they kept away from the water as they traveled, so nothing could jump out and eat them. As they walked they talked about many things. The pair recalled the fun they had together in Siam, and how Tye would catch mice to throw at any leopards or tigers they might encounter. That led to Tye relating her voyage from Siam to Texas and the mice she caught and cared for. Then the conversation took a more serious turn.

“You know what happened to you when you got off the ship wasn’t right.” Xe got angry just thinking about it. “We need to do something so it doesn’t happen to any more Siamese cats.”

“It’s true, Xe. I was so excited, thinking about seeing you again and the fun we would have, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in that detention center eating rotten vegetables. I hadn’t done anything wrong! I don’t understand why I got treated like that!”

“We need to go to the big white house and ask the people in charge to make those ICY people stop doing that,” exclaimed Xe. But it’s a long walk; we’re going to need a ride.”

No sooner did Xe woof their need for a ride than a horse came galloping up to them.

“I hear you’re in need of a ride.” The horse bowed her head as she addressed Xe. “How can I help you free everyone of tyranny and oppression and rotten vegetables?”

Xe and Tye looked up at this huge horse, who seemed to genuinely want to help them, even if she was a bit zealous and also a bit off the mark of their goal. “What is your name?” they asked in unison, both with a slight quiver of fear in their voices.

“I am a Horse with No Name,” replied the magnificent creature. “Tell me why you are out here in the middle of nowhere, and where you want to go.”

Xe was spell-bound that there could be a Horse with No Name. Ignoring the horse’s question, Xe asked, “Have you been to the desert? I hear in the desert you can remember your name.”

When the Horse with No Name didn’t reply, Tye and Xe related their experiences over the past few days.

“Stay here,” said the horse as she wheeled about on her hind legs and cantered off into the scrub brush, just out of earshot. They could hear her whinnying and nodding her head, but couldn’t make out what she was saying into her iphone.

“Both of you, climb on my back and I will get you as far as I can,” the Horse with No Name told them as she skidded to a stop in front of them.

The two friends looked at each other, and, with unspoken agreement leaped upon the Horse with No Name’s back.

As their newest friend started off at a full gallop, Xe and Tye laid down and hung on for dear life. “Ho No!” they screamed,” we’re going to die!”

“How did you guess that I go by ‘Ho No?’ asked the Horse with No Name.

“Is that a Hawaiian word?” asked Tye.

“No, it’s short for HOrse with NO Name,” replied the horse. “And I won’t let you die. I’ll stop if I feel one of you slipping off.”

On like that they went for about 87 miles, with Ho No settling into a smooth trot that she could keep up for hours. The riders kept their eyes closed for a long time, pressing themselves against her broad, flat back. Except for an occasional grunt, their claws digging into her sides didn’t seem to bother Ho No at all. At one point, Tye opened her eyes, and seeing how pretty Ho No’s mane was braided, asked her about it. “It’s because I’m a girl,” Ho No said as if that was the only explanation needed.

After what felt like 87 hours Ho No came to a halt. “This is the end of the line for me, girls,” she whinnied. I’ve gotten you as far as northeast Georgia. I spoke with one of my friends, who is going to pick you up and take you the rest of the way to the big white house.”

“Will we see you again?” Tye began to ask, but Ho No had already disappeared down the back dirt road in a cloud of dust. Or maybe it was a cloud of red clay since they were, after all, in Georgia

They waited there for about 87 minutes, watching for another horse to appear, hopefully one with a real name. They were taking advantage of the fresh water nearby (that Ho No had promised was safe), when an old truck came charging down the road.

“Xe Xe,” whispered Tye, ” get your nose out of the grass and look at this. I think maybe the ICY Plott Hound has found us, but something looks different about him.”

At that, Xe whipped around, ready to make a run for it with Tye.

To be continued…

Xena’s Story Part 3

If you missed Part 1, click here, and Part 2, click here.

Lucy: OK Xena, you’ve kept everyone waiting long enough. It’s time for the next installment of your story. Let’s see, you left Tye in an interment camp for illegal Siamese and others our country didn’t want here, and you were on your way to get her out. What happens next? Do you get Tye out and bring her home with you?

Xena: Well, you see, I’ve been thinking about it, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. At least that’s what I’ve heard. But maybe not too much worse…

A Dog, Her Cat Friends and a Plot Hound Part 3

Xe took her suitcase full of good raw meat – frozen to keep it from spoiling – and hopped the first bus she could find heading out to the detention center in Texas where poor Tye had been imprisoned.

Xe told the driver what was happening, and he put the peddle to the metal, ignoring the rest of his stops. Later that night the driver dropped Xe off at the address Tye had given for the center and wished her well.

Meanwhile, Tye was saying goodbye to the second doggie she had ever made friends with. Pedro the chihuahua had been picked up by Border Patrol and been detained until he found a sponsor. A nice American man rescued Pedro the chihuahua. Instead of saying, “Gracias,” Pedro kept yelling, “Quiero Taco Bell.” He must have been starving!

Tye, also famished from subsisting on a diet of rotten vegetables, pleaded with the man to take her, too. “Please, nice man, won’t you take me home with you, or at least get me outta here and onto a bus to my friend’s house in Tennessee?” But the man said he was only allowed to rescue one detainee at a time. He promised to try to come back for her, though, especially since she and Pedro were now friends.

Xe had hidden in the bushes until the breakfast bell rang and the guards all went off to eat. As she stealthily approached the fence, a man carrying a chihuahua walked past her.

The pup kept screaming something about Taco Bell, and that made Xe’s stomach growl loudly. The man walked faster, thinking Xe was about to attack. Xe thought about following them, hoping to score a taco, but resolved to get Tye out from behind that fence first. Yes! Tye was her first priority, even over her stomach, and that shows a lot of love from a schnauzer, even a warrior princess schnauzer.

All the resolve in the world couldn’t help her when an ICY Plott Hound guard suddenly appeared from around the corner. He had heard all the yelling, and came to see if someone was passing out tacos. Xe decided to make a run for it ..

… when the ICY Plott Hound guard grabbed her by the back leg and slung her into a bag with a sign on it that read, “Schnauzer meat, good to eat.” Xe hoped the sign was a joke, but what kind of a person – or dog – would joke about that! In short order, Xe was processed (no, not made into meat; her paperwork got finished), then she was thrown into a detention area.

Even though this was not the reunion they had both imagined, Tye and Xe were happy to see each other again. “What’s in that red cooler over there?” asked Xe. “Rotten vegetables,” replied Tye, with a look of both disdain and resignation on her face. Xe was about to explain that there were good probiotics in some rotten veggies when a sudden flash of hope shone in Tye’s eyes. She looked at Xe and whispered, “We can plan our escape together. There is a COOL guard in here who likes me, and she will help us!”

The next day, when the COOL guard came to see how Tye was doing, she was surprised to see Tye cuddled up sleeping with a schnauzer warrior princess – and Minnie Mouse.

Xe had remembered to pack her bed, a pretty scarf to wear to sleep in, and a mouse toy for Tye. Tye had to meow Xe awake so they could confer with the COOL guard.

“Excuse me ma’am,” woofed Xe (Xe had been raised to have good manners), “could you please help us get out of here? I am Xe Schnauzer Warrior Princess, and I am a citizen of the great US, born in Georgia and living in Tennessee. You can check my AKC papers, it’s all right there.”

After looking over Xe’s official papers, the COOL lady took them to the office to start the process for her release. And since Xe really is a citizen of the US, she also applied to be Tye’s sponsor. While Xe and Tye waited, they filled their bellies with the now thawed meat that Xe had brought.

87 hours later, the paperwork was still not ready. Come nightfall, the two friends snuggled up to sleep in the comfort of each other’s company. The next morning the COOL guard, also called the NICE (short for Not ICY) guard by Tye and Xe, returned with all the paperwork they needed to be released and allowed to go back to Tennessee.

“Well, we’re out,” meowed Tye, who still wore her ID from the detention center. “Now what?”

“I don’t know,” woofed Xe. “I don’t know how to get home from here, and I want my Mommy.”

“Don’t worry,” Tye said in her best soothing voice. “I’ve come all the way from Siam, almost got thrown overboard on the ship, got locked up in a detention center, ate rotten vegetables for a week, and then my bestie XeXe came and rescued me!”

At Tye’s words, Xe had to smile, if only a little, and her heart swelled with love for her cat friend. “You’re right, TyeTye, it can only get better from here. Let’s go home.”

The sun was just rising behind them as they began their journey north on paw, hoping that a NICE person would give them a lift to Tennessee.

Come back next Monday to find out what happens next.

Story and pictures by Xena, all rights reserved, except for certain cats in Canada who are part of this story. But the mean old plott hound can’t use this to his own devices.