Sunday Selfies Show & Tell

Lucy: Hi, and Happy New Year, friends! *wiggles* When last we met, Mom was going to take me to the Smart Pet store for a new sweater. That was great! So many people pet me while I was there! I got a really pretty sweater too, and it even fits me like it was made for me (but not made by Mom, BOL!). Then I found out I had to pose for a picture. I really don’t like getting my picture made.

Chia: C’mon Lucy, you can do this! I just got lots of pictures taken and it doesn’t hurt a bit. Give Mom a good picture and it’ll all be over and you can go back to doing nothing.

Lucy: *gulp* OK, I’ll try. But it’s hard to look happy like Xena does in her pictures when I’m doin’ something I don’t wanna do.

Lucy: There. I hope everyone can see my pretty new sweater. I’m done.

Mom: No you’re not, sweet girl. Chia photo bombed you.

Chia: I was just giving moral support.

Lucy: Are we done yet?

Chia: Yep, it’s my turn. First, you probably noticed I’m wearing my big girl panties. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to wear them.

I managed to get them off during the night and now there’s blood on the bedsheets and Dad’s underwear. I was laying up against him. Hmmm. I didn’t know that would happen. Xena! Are you back there photo bombing my picture?
So, what I really wanted to tell you is, I got another present, too. Mom decided I needed a new collar after she put my pretty pink collar on me and I made choking sounds, sorta like, “ghagrk.” I’m a big 1 1/2 years old now and I outgrew it. Off we went to the Smart Pet store!

Can you see it? Instead of a bow it has a pretty sunflower on it. And it’s not pink, yay! No, you can’t see it? Well, that’s ok, there’ll be plenty more pictures of me wearing it other days.

Xena: My turn! I got new stairs to be able to get on the bed without hopping up and down asking Mommy to pick me up. Riley’s bed is always on the side where the rug is, and the floor on Mommy’s side is too slippery for me to try to jump up. I wasn’t too sure about these stairs at first. But when treats suddenly appeared on them, I made it the whole way up to the top.

Now the trick is to get back down. Riley’s sleeping on his bed, so I can’t jump down that way. OK, I’m gonna try this…

OK, I think I can do this. One step at a time.

I’m doing it, Mommy!

Chia: Did you see me run up and down and back up the stairs, Mom? I’m so fast, just like the Flash! You probably missed it. That’s OK, I’ll do it again!

The next night….

Xena: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy lift me into bed Mommy.

Mommy: *sigh*

We are happy to join The Cat on My Head for Sunday Selfies.

Christmas at Last

Is it Christmas yet?

Did Santa come? Can we open our prezzies? What, not until Daddy gets back with brother Adam?

Lucy: We let our guests go first. Achilles got an empty, Santa covered water bottle, and he loved it! He worked and worked on it until he got the bottle out. Then the fun was over. I think he was disappointed that there was no stuffing in the stuffie!

Xena: Morty got reindeer ears and an empty bag that he tried to eat. Oh wait, the bag wasn’t his prezzie, he just grabbed it from someone else.

Lucy: Mom made doggie cookies for Morty and Achilles and Ella and they all scarfed them up. She packed them up some more from the freezer to take home. Some of them had pumpkin, and some of the cookies had tomato in them. They all were salt and sugar-free, with no preservatives or artificial anything. We weren’t allowed to have any because of all the carbs interfering with our stomach acid pee H.

Xena: But we did get Dogurt. It’s a new doggie yogurt that Mom found right in the dairy section of the grocery. Later we got real live beef soup bones. A big one to fit Lucy’s mouth and a smaller one for me to chew. Our peeps brother Adam sat outside with us until we got all the greasy stuff off them so we didn’t get it all over the furniture.

Lucy: Our friends, Chloe and Chaz -who stay with us sometimes and who Mom grooms – gave us this blanket. Do you see the heartbeat?

Xena: Lucy got a weird bone thing that she doesn’t want and neither do I or Ella.

Mommy said it’s OK for her to give to Achilles the next time she sees him. We’re sure he’ll like it.

I got new stuffies. No bears, ’cause they always go away to hibernate in the winter – except for Winter Bear – and then they empty our fridge when they are done hibernating. They get like zombies trying to eat the brains of Cone Heads. We don’t actually stock brains for them, but we make sure there’s plenty of berries and stuff to satisfy their extreme hunger from not eating all winter.

Anyhow, I got Chip, who is siting in the back closest to me. His big eyes and teeth kind of scared me at first, but I’m getting used to it. And puppy Oscar the Schnauzer. And the other dog is a stray and doesn’t have a name yet. Any suggestions?

Lucy: Brother Andrew got here just in time for dinner. Him and brother Adam were really glad to see each other, and were acting goofy. Mom said it was like how me and Ella act when we see each other after being apart.

I don’t know why “all good things must end.”

But maybe it’s so we can get some rest and be ready for good things the next day.

Love, Peace and Joy from Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

A Christmas Recap (or What I Got for Christmas)

Xena: Me and Lucy had a great Christmas with Uncle Bill and Aunty Jen and Ella and Achilles. We all opened our pressies Christmas morning, and I got a santa that makes crinkly sounds that I don’t really like, and a great new bear.

Lucy: They are for me, too, Xena.

Xena: You don’t like to play with them, so they’re mine. But I will be kind and give you the crinkly santa thingie.

   I love my new bear friend.

Anyhoo, Mommy asked me today why I keep taking my new bear friend (who I haven’t thought of a name  for yet – any suggestions?) into the bathroom and leaving him/her there. All I could say is, “Why not?” Ya know, it’s not my fault if I take new bear with me through the house and she/he doesn’t follow me back, right? 

Lucy: Mom and Dad got home just before our aunt and uncle left. That was a good present. Then our peeps brother Andrew came over for a while, too.

Xena: And then, on the day after Christmas, Mommy brought out all these new pressies for us that she had been hiding.

Lucy: I got new jammies. I’ve never had jammies before, and I’m not sure if they look OK on me. At XXL, they are the largest that Chewy.com carries. Mom says I am just a beautiful big girl. They are soft and warm, so whenever it gets cold, I will be cozy, especially now that I’m not allowed to sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad any more. But that’s a story for another time.

Then Mom helped us open our other pressies. I kept my jammies close so Xena didn’t take them.

Xena: I we got two bags of treats. One of them is Stella & Chewy’s Wild Weenies Grass-fed Lamb. The other one is Dr. Jodie’s Natural Pets N-Trail Mix with lamb liver and spleen, grass fed beef kidney,  turkey heart and gizzards, and pork brain. Mmmm. They are both freeze-dried raw, so they fit nicely into our raw diet.

And I got a treat puzzle! I’m so excited about that ! I tried one at an agility classes, and I got really good at it.  You see, all you have to do is smell where the treat is, then move the circle thingie out of the way with your mouth or paw. I always go back and double and triple check that I got every single one. I think that’s called being detail-oriented.

Lucy: I wanted to try it, but Xena wouldn’t let me.

Xena: Too slow, Luce. You snooze,  you lose. (Especially when it comes to a schnauzer and treats!)

Lucy: Mom got a pressie from Dad that me and Xena just didn’t quite understand. They moved with her when she walked.

Mom laughed and said, “Leave them alone,” and “They’re not toys.” But we think otherwise.  By the way, do I look odd in this picture? I think it’s just the camera angle, right?

Xena: Wrong.

Lucy: Be quiet Xena.  So, can you see that they have stained beards, just like Xena? The bad news is that one-size-doesn’t-fit-all, contrary to what the ad said. So Mom got the company to agree to pay for return shipping with her refund. She called it “false advertising.”

That’s the end of our Christmas recap, friends. We hope you had a good holiday, too. Love and wiggles from Xena the Schnauzer Princess Warrior and Lucy

Xena: Pee S. I have decided that my new bear is a girl and I think I will name her after my aunty and call her Jen Jen (unless you have a better name.

PeePee Ess: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

When The Mom Leaves

Xena: Hey Lucy, don’t you wonder what’s in all these bags that Mommy put under the tree? 

Lucy: Um, now that you mention it, I guess I do. Some of them smell good. Hey Xena, look, Dad left the door to the downstairs open while Mom is gone.

a short while later…

Dad: Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, what are you doing?

Lucy: Amph, s mn, ood. 

Dad: Spit it all out, girl. That’s not whatever you think it is. No, no, don’t chew faster, spit it out!

Dad: Lucy, where’s Xena?

Lucy: (with a foaming mouth) I on’t know.

Another short while later Mom arrives home.

Mom: Xena, what did you do!Xena: Uh, I came down looking for you, Mommy, and, umm, a little piece of something was sticking up, and, and, I thought maybe it was food, er, I mean, I wanted to clean the carpet for you Mommy, and..

back upstairs…What happened to all the pressies? 

This is Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with only Grodd under the tree.