First, a huge THANKS to Annette from A Dog Tales who surprised me with the wonderfully artistic new header. So no one gets left out, I am going to use it when Xena is posting, and use another new one I am making (not nearly as good as this one) when it is Lucy or someone else. Now more woofs from Xena…

I am innocent of all charges, Your Honor.

Woof! Lucy has gotten used to me and is trying to kill me. Really! You have to hear this! I was in the bathroom with my Mommy when Lucy came up and I heard this loud “thump” sound. She had thrown herself at me with her front legs flat on the floor and her bee hind up in the air. I must have jumped 87 inches! Whew. I just got over that scare when Mommy takes us both outside. Lucy is running all over the yard doing zoomies. Next thing I know, she is running straight at me. Yikes! I ducked down and she leaped right over me!! OK, so now that everyone knows (I am finding out this weeby feet thing is useful after all) she will not be able to get away with murder, so she might as well stop trying.

I went on a long car ride again, but not nearly as long as when Mommy adopted me. I met my other peeps brother, Adam. Adam was very nice to me and held me like I was made out of china or crystal, or something else that would break. If Lucy hasn’t broken me yet, I don’t think my peeps brothers will. We went out for milkshakes at a place called Sonic, and there was puppy abuse going on: I didn’t even get one bite! The sun went down before we headed home, and I was a very sleepy Princess Warrior.

Are we there yet?

Oh! Oh! Oh! I have to tell you something else! I love to eat and and always lick my food dish clean, which isn’t news since I am a schnauzer. But Lucy’s food smelled so much better than my puppy kibble. So, you will never guess what I got for supper last night! Chicken! A real, live, raw, dead chickie wing! Mommy held it while I figured out how to chew it properly. Then I got pieces of a real, live, raw, dead chicken boobie. I wouldn’t eat the pumpkin or anything else Mommy gave me…I just wanted more chickie. After that, I thought Mommy’s finger was a chickie wing and tried to eat it. In my defense, it looked a lot the same and was in attached to her hand. So today, Mommy took me outside and let me have another chickie wing; but, this time she let me work on it all by myself while she snoopervised.  I chewed and chewed and chewed some more and I ate the whole thing all by myself. Woof! Then I came in and ate some more chickie boobie and a little bit of coconut oil, but I didn’t want the egg or anything else. Mommy said I get to eat just this one meat pro team for a week, then we can move on to something else. I wonder how long a week will take…

And you know what else? I got to snoopervise right back while Mommy groomed a dog. The doggie’s Mommy is real nice and she held me during the whole groom so that I could see and snoopervise better. Isn’t it funny that doggie’s Mommy and my Mommy have the same name – Mommy?

This whole blogging thing can be very tiring. I have so much more to tell you. *yawn*

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess.

 

Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Woof! The New Woman tricked me into starting a diary only to put it on something with webby feet for the whole world to read. I’m glad I didn’t say anything embarrassing. Except for the part where I soiled in the kennel. And maybe the part about being afraid. I remembered my note to myself and asked The New Woman what my real name is. I learned two things: 1. The New Woman’s name is “Mommy” and 1. My name is Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess. That’s why I’m a little bit embarrassed about being afraid. I don’t think warrior princesses are supposed to be afraid of anything!

The New Woman Mommy has some pictures for everyone to see. I also learned that’s what she is doing when she picks up that thing that she takes with her everywhere and points it at me. 

The first night in my new furever home, an inspiration came to me. It was like another, wiser schnauzer was whispering in my ear. I had an uncontrollable urge to stand on The Man while he laid in bed.  Then I felt like I should hit him on his head with my head, but I resisted.

Oh, and I learned The Man is called Daddy. So, now I live with Lucy and Mommy and Daddy. There is another dog here who is even bigger than Lucy, but he is ignoring me and won’t even tell me his name. That’s OK, I have enough new stuff to deal with right now anyhow. I’ve had my brekkies and pottied and it’s raining, so I think I will *yawn* take a nap on Mommy’s lap now. Tomorrow I’ll tell you mo…zzzzz.

Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess

 

Dear Diary by …

The Last Picture of Me at My First Home

Dear Diary,

I, once called The Female with the Yellow Collar, just had my whole world turned upside down. I should have known something was up yesterday when The Woman took me away from all my puppy siblings and friends – and oh, we were having a grand ol’ time in our playpen – and put a pretty colored thingy on my body. She let me run around the house some, dragging a long thing attached to what I learned was called a hardness (probably because it is hard to get out of), then kept me in a wire kennel away from my buddies.

Come around supper time, a New Woman came to our door and The Woman let me go outside to meet her. I liked her right away, so I wanted to show her what I could do. I ran as fast as I could in big circles around the yard, stopping to sniff the grass and the bushes and anything else that caught my interest. Sometimes I would rip leaves off a bush, just to show it who was boss, or grab some grass and tear it out of the ground, slinging it over my shoulder. Pretty soon I forgot about the New Woman and just ran and played for the sheer joy of it. I bounced up and down and inside of me I was laughing.

    My Boring Brother

I was brought in the house and put in the wire kennel while one of my brothers went outside with The Woman and The New Woman.

He’s so boring, he just did his potty, sniffed around, and wanted The New Woman to hold him. I don’t know why he got a cookie for just doing that.

The next thing I knew, the Womans were talking and signing papers and giving each other stuff and I got put into a kennel in the back seat of the New Woman’s car. It was a little scary, ’cause I had never been in a car before this. We drove for about 87 hours – the New Woman said it was only 3 hours, but I am not sure about that – and I slept most of the way. Except, of course for when my tummy got sick and then I had to pee pee.

     When I First Met Lucy


When we got to the New Woman’s house, a Man took the kennel out of the car and told The New Woman that I had gone pee pee all over the pillow and there was throw up there, too. He left the room while The New Woman gave me a bath. I was shivering, mostly from fear, but I was a little cold too, so The New Woman wrapped me up in a soft towel and took me upstairs to The Man. He held me and called me Littlest One and made me feel safe.

I was getting sleepy – after all, the sun had gone away a zillion hours ago – when I got another surprise. A gigantic dog suddenly appeared and sniffed me! She told me her name is Lucy and asked me my name and why I was here in her Dad’s lap. I said, “My name is either The Female with the Yellow Collar or Littlest One.” I didn’t really know, but thought I should answer her. I told her, ” I’m here because The New Woman brought me here. And don’t ask me anything else, ’cause I’m just as confused as you.” When The Man put me down for Lucy to see me better, Lucy ran and hid in The Man’s office. That’s where I heard The New Woman say she was, anyhow. Then I listened to The Man and The New Woman talk about where I was to sleep. The New Woman wanted me to sleep in the bed with them. The Man said he had heard too many horror stories about what could happen. So The Man won and I was put in the cleaned kennel where I could see The New Woman. I had a special blue and yellow blanket that used to belong to someone named Angel Lexi, and a big soft toy to cuddle with. Lucy was still all scared, so The Man and The New Woman let her sleep with them. I guess she is too big for the horror things to happen to her. I fell off to sleep wondering what new surprises would happen tomorrow.

I guess that’s it for now, Dear Diary. I think I will have lots more to write about very soon. Note to self: ask The New Woman if Littlest One is my new name. ~Me

 

Hoping to Skype

I was supposed to Skype with Noodle last Friday, but I told him that I had to wash my hair. Now I feel bad. I miss my Valentine boy. I wonder if he would Skype with me this weekend… To help Noodle forgive me for breaking our Skype date last week, I am showing him this picture of me as a puppy. I was about eight weeks old here. Who can resist a puppy? Can someone put in a good word for me? Maybe ask him to look at this picture? I am Lexi, the contrite schnauzer.

Too adorable to be denied.

Too adorable to be denied.