Mommy had the lighting wrong, the position wrong and the cloth wrong.
Lucy had pretty much everything wrong. Mostly her scaredy dog look. Then her bored look. Why couldn’t everyone be happy and cooperative like me?
We tried again without the cloth and this was the best Lucy would give us. I wasn’t smiling anymore. I was getting tired and wanted my supper. Didn’t someone once say, “After all, tomorrow’s another day?” (duh)
Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior
Xena: While we wait for my video from the Freestyle Trial, I wanted to catch you up on what is going on around home. Do you remember my warning to Riley? Do you remember that he still went ahead and deadied my blue bone? That was bad, but not like deading a real live stuffie. Look who we found, a victim of a Riley attack.
Do you remember that poor old Mr. Elephant was very close with Angel Lexi? Now his guts are falling out of his butt. This isn’t the first time Riley tried to kill him. We think it is because he mattered so much to Angel Lexi. Mr. Elephant had asked that, instead of staying in the big green basket on top of the mantel to stay safe, he be allowed to stay in my kennel. He was ok in there until one day we all forgot to shut my kennel door and Riley saw his chance.
Riley: You two can stop talking about me now. My Dad’s coming to get me.
Lucy: I saw something had to be done immediately if we were to save Mr. Elephant. After thinking for 87 seconds, I made my decision.
I ran to the pantry and got some Tennessee whiskey to steady my nerves and gave Mr. Elephant a drink of it, too. Xena had eaten sauerkraut last night, so I told her to turn around and gas him. Between that and the whiskey, he was out cold. I gathered up some tools and put on my operating mask. Time was ticking and I had to work fast and sure with precision instruments. I also had to be very careful not to close up his bee hind hole. I looked for his tail, but that villain Riley must have eaten it. His right leg was ripped halfway off, so I fixed it to the best of my ability.
About 87 minutes into the surgery, Xena noticed that Mr. Elephant was also missing an ear.
We hurriedly – but carefully – looked under all the furniture. Xena is small enough to be able to scoot under the couch and love seat, and did a thorough search. It was all to no avail. That fiend Riley must have eaten his ear, too. I finished working on his back end, and, with only a short pee and snack break, started closing up the gaping whole where his ear used to be. Xena! Quick! Lick the sweat off my forehead! Thanks!
Mr. Elephant is in the guest room sleeping it off and is expected to make a full recovery. His back leg isn’t exactly straight anymore, so he will have a limp. And we’ll have to remember to stand on his left side when we talk to him.
Riley has gone home with his Dad, and it’s time for a nap after an exhausting, yet satisfying, day. The patient will live.
Wags and licks, Lucy the Surgeon and Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior
Angel Lexi: On All Hallow’s Eve, I am back to play tricks and get treats. So tonight, I am reclaiming my blog. That’s right, my blog! This is the night before All Saint’s Day, the day where I will be especially remembered and prayers will go up for me and a candle lit
to show I am still the light of the world and star of the stage to show my spirit still shines brightly in the hearts of those who love me. So tonight I will partake of a little mischief. I would rather partake of Kahlua and cream, but there is no cream in the refrigerator.
Lookout, Xena, here I come. You may eat raw meat every day, but I have not yet had my fill of blood. Eating kibble all my life has left me very, very thirsty. (in best Bela Lugosi voice) I come to suck your…oh forget it, that’s just too corny, even for me. Now, where was I? Tonight, Xena, you become like me!
Xena: You mean I am going to become an Angel?
Angel Lexi: No! You will be a Vampire Dog!
Xena: Aghhhh! Help!
Angel Lexi: There is no help for you. You will crave blood, fresh blood. Now go get some blood! (And bring me all the meat from the fridge.)
Xena: Oh, Mo-o-ommy… hold me, Mommy, hold me close bawahaha
Vampire Dogs Angel Lexi the Schnauzer and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess Dash
I like pillows. A lot. I try out lots of different pillows, for lots of different purposes and in lots of different positions.
Last Christmas Mom dressed the pillow I like on the couch in a holiday dress. She didn’t fool me, though; I knew it was my big, comfy pillow.
Sometimes I hide different parts of me under or behind a pillow. I didn’t want anyone to see me wearing my big girl panties.
Sometimes I try new positions on my pillows.
Sometimes I hide so no one knows where I am. I can watch what they are doing like this, with no one seeing me.
Mommy got me a fancy new pillow, and after the first night, I didn’t want to use it any more.
Once in a while I would carry it out of the bedroom and leave it somewhere else in the house. Then, one night, I changed my mind. I thought about it a while and got it just right.
Xena, Pillow Connoisseur and Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Lucy: gorgeous green
Xena: powerful purple
Our Mom had a birthday and our Dad made a big deal about it.
He made her his special chicken dish and pasta and fresh broccoli. We didn’t beg at the table; we just wanted to stay close to Mom on her birthday. Honest.
Our Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill are
crazy lots of fun. They sent her this happy birthday message.
Later in the week Mom’s friends at work had a little party for her and someone named Lester who had a birthday the same week. They sang happy birthday to her and Lester and had special sweets.
You might know that Mommy works at a place called a synagogue. I don’t like it cause I’m not allowed to go to work with her like I did at the Methodist church. But Mommy seems to like it anyhow, which I totally don’t understand. So, what I wanted to tell you, is their big sanctuary had been closed down for a long time, and finally got repaired. They had a big party to celebrate the dedication and reopening just before something called High Holy Days. Mommy and Daddy went to celebrate with them. They had something sacred called scrolls carried in from the chapel, where they had been worshiping after they couldn’t use the sanctuary. They passed the scrolls up the center aisle then danced around the sanctuary to music, carrying the scrolls, until they were passed up to the “ark” on the “bimah.” Mommy taught me those words. See, I could be a great help to her at work. Anyhow, someone took this picture.
That’s Daddy handing the sacred scroll to Mommy.
After that part was over, they ate and drank wine and visited with everyone and generally had a great time while we sat at home waiting for them.
Lucy: But we have been getting some good walks when the temperature cools off a bit in the early evening, just before twilight. Every day we get a nice walk is a special day. E”special”ly if we see people who pet me or if I almost get to chase a cat.
Dad asked why we don’t walk as nice on the leash as Riley (center). I pointed out that we also don’t spend 87 minutes every walk reading pee mail like Riley does.
I heard we’re all going to Aunty Jens and Uncle Bill’s this weekend. And I saw Mommy packaging our food. I’ll get Uncle Bill to hold me and see if Morty has gotten bigger than me.
And I’ll get to play with Ella, try to make friends with Morty again, and maybe even get another kiss from Achilles. So today is going to be another special day!
We can’t wait to get on the road! Kisses and wags from Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Lucy, and Riley, too.
A few hours later…
Lucy: What happened to ye, little Bilge Rat?
Xena: Ye call me dat agane and I be sure to ferget ye saved me life. Ye see, some udder pirate took ze day too far and blew up me ship. I was havin a taste a grog and suddenly like, boom! I twas thrown into da briney.
Arr! I’ve decided to stay home and play with my inflatable pirate ship. At least, if it gets a hole in it, I’ll land on the floor.
Hey Luce, can you believe it’s already been a whole year since I had to pose for this picture?
We had a new azalea last year. That’s the one you posed beside. It’s a nice picture of you, too, Lucy.
That was our new, 3 season azalea. It bloomed again in the spring for a short time. In the spring it looked like this.
Later in the spring, Mommy called the place where she got it, Holcomb’s Garden Center. It had a warranty, and she was thinking about returning it. They told her that it doesn’t bloom continuously for 3 seasons, but it would bloom again in the summer. Well, in the summer, it was deader than a thumbnail.
Lucy: That’s a door nail, Xena.
Xena: Whatever. Anyhoo. by then Holcomb’s was OOB. That’s short for Out of Business. Can you believe it? So now it looks like this.
In case you’re wondering, that’s a hole in the ground where the azalea bush used to be.
Well then today, Mommy ran out to the store without me ’cause we live in the USA where they have stupid laws about dogs and stores and she came home with a mum. Mom came home with a mum! BOL, BOL! So, to kill two words with one stone…
Lucy: It’s birds, Xena. It’s to kill two birds with one stone.
Xena: Why word you want to kill birds? And I really don’t see how you could kill two of them with the same stone. Anyhoo, no matter what you kill with one stone, or if yo don’t want to kill anything at all, or if you just want to kill one word or bird or…
Lucy: Xena, enough. Please just get to the point.
Xena; Mommy decided to put the table out over top of the hole where the azalea used to be and put that mum that is not her on it and take my picture with it again. Happy Flower Friday, folks.
Pee S, The pretty plastic aura around my head is ’cause I itched a hot spot under my ear. More about that later.
Thanks to Rosy from the LLB Gang for hosting another edition of Flower Friday
Xena: I’ve heard that the weather is always a safe topic to talk about, so let’s start there today. It’s been stinkin’ rotten hot. It’s been so hot we haven’t even had our walks. In fact, it’s been hotter than a boy in heat.
Lucy: Don’t you know that boys don’t go into heat?
Xena: Sure I do. But you’d have yelled at me if I’da said that other word that starts with a “b”. So I’m making the weather a safer topic, ya see. So then it cooled off a bit after it rained cats and hogs and…
Lucy: It’s dogs.
Xena: What’s dogs?
Lucy: What it rained.
Xena: Yes, it rained. Anyhoo, that cooled it off enough for us to go out and play. I dared Lucy to try to catch me, and off we were on a chase through the dog lot.
I ran and ran in circles, and sometimes Lucy ran off the patio and tried to catch me, but I was too fast! I was in Warrior Princess mode, don’tcha know. All the grass was gone right there in front of the patio door, causing the dirt to get all soft and wet. Lucy got me on my back there and rolled me around a bit. (I let her.)
Lucy: Yep. Then Xena got me on my back and rolled me around a bit. too. (I let her.) After we’d done that for a while, Mom came over to see how muddy we were. I wasn’t muddy at all. I have super hero hair. It glows in the sunlight and keeps me from getting too hot. Fleas and ticks slide off it like a 5-year-old child off a water slide. The cold can’t get through it, and now we know the mud doesn’t stick to it. I got a pass on a bath.
Xena: I have super hero hair too. It doesn’t fall out all over the house and end up in big piles around the walls and the furniture. All that nasty hair around the house belongs to my sister. Apparently, though, mine isn’t mud-repellent.
Wags, wiggles and shakes, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
We went to the Obedience Club of Chattanooga (OCC) on Sunday and practiced with my little friend Meg (on left) and her Mom and her 13-year-old brother, a mini-pin named Titus. Titus and Angel Lexi used to do Freestyle together.
Miss Fay was having trouble playing my music and recording my routine all at the same time, so it took several tries. By the fourth try, I was tired and getting a bit uninterested in the whole thing. And Mommy lost count at the end of
my our routine and messed up the ending. At least it was just practice, and not a “trial.” It’s still pretty good, so if you want to see it, just hit the button to make it start.
That last part where we swirl around each other? I made that part up and Mommy liked it so much she named it the Viennese Waltz and kept it in our routine.
We are Team Xena! (and Mommy)
Xena: You might think that me and Lucy are always competing and arguing, but it isn’t so. We play together and team up when it counts. On this certain day we both saw a lizard trespassing near the front of our house.
Me and Lucy, we’re a team.
Lucy: OK, Xena, you chase it and if you can catch it, it’s yours.
Xena: So Lucy laid down and I chased the lizard… right into her mouth!
Xena: But Daddy took it from me and put it in my food dish for later. Then Mommy came home and said, “How disgusting!” and threw it in the garbage. Phth. I didn’t really want it anyhow.
Lizzie Lucy and Lizardless Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Last weekend our peeps brother Adam came over and spent the night so we could celebrate his birthday together. You might remember Adam from when he helped plant the hostages . We were so excited to see him! Adam goes outside and sits on the patio a lot so he can blow stinky smoke out of his mouth. Regardless, we like to go out with him, at least until it gets too hot, even for us. On Sunday, our other peeps brother Andrew was supposed to come over for pizza and to visit and to celebrate
his our brother’s birthday. Mommy told him 5:00, but to try to come early if he could. We all decided that when if he came early that Mommy would order the pizza and we could eat then. We all got pretty hungry.
Adam got so hungry that he ate a bowl of cereal. Mommy said she would wait until 4:30, then order the pizza. Before she went to get it, me and Lucy asked her if we could eat just a little early so that she wouldn’t have to, you know, interrupt the celebration or so that – good God forbid – the pizza get cold while she was preparing our dinner. She saw the wisdom in this and got our supper ready. We thought she would be in a big hurry to get out the door to get the hot pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms and double cheese *drool* and not make us “Wait!” for our supper. Yeah, like that was gonna happen.
As soon as we gobbled down our suppers, Mommy headed out the door to pick up the Dominoes pizza – Adam’s favorite. By the time she got back, Andrew had arrived and everyone gobbled down their suppers. Then came the DQ ice cream cake!
The celebration continued the next day with lobster and shrimp and steak – all of Adam’s very favorite foods. Everyone was too busy
stuffing their faces enjoying their meals to think about sharing with the poor pups in the house. We did get some ice cream cake. That was our first time ever to get ice cream or frosting or cake. Now I know why the peeps keep it all for themselves!
Adam and Andrew have both gone to their own homes, and we are waiting to see what else happens this week!
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Xena: Hi, hi, hi! Guess what? Wait, I’ll tell you. Mommy read about how bad bennies are for people…
Lucy: It’s benadryl, Xena. Bennies are something else. We don’t get those.
Xena: Well, we don’t get the dryl stuff anymore, either. That’s what I’m here to tell everyone about. So anyhow, as I was saying, Mommy thought, “Hmm, if they are that bad for people, then they can’t be good for dogs, either.” She said you could read about it here if you want to. But keep on reading my story, too. Mommy thought I had changed because I had turned two years old. I was mostly laying around on the love seat and didn’t want to play. The only things I was still enthusiastic about were food and Freestyle. Friday morning, after reading that article, Mommy only gave me a Xertec for my allergies, and no bennies.
Lucy: Xena, I told you, it’s not bennies. And Xertec is spelled Zyrtec.
Xena: No, like I told you before, it’s XERTEC like my name XENA,
Sorry folks. Sometime Lucy thinks she knows more than me. So later in the day when Mommy called to let Daddy know she was finally on her way home from work, he told her that he didn’t know what caused this big change, but that I had been running all over the house with my stuffies.
I had started playing with Lucy again, too. I ran outside with my bully horn and even came back to get another toy to play with in the yard. Mommy knew why, and had conflicting emotions. She was very sad that she had been suppressing my joy, and very happy that I was still the same puppy she knew, and hadn’t really changed.
So instead of those bad old bennies – Lucy, don’t even say it – I am getting a bath about every other day *pthhh* with BioHex Shampoo with Chlorhexidine and Miconazole. It has microsilver and ceramide in it. (Mommy helped me with those words.) Now I am hardly itching at all and I’m wide awake and ready to rumble! ( heard that last part on TV when the folks were gone.) Anyone want to play?
XOXOXOX Xena on Xertec (only)
First there was my meet and greet with Morty in his rope harness.
Then we did a proper “Hello, I will be your friend.”
Next, it was Lucy’s turn.
Morty enjoyed grazing on our clover, so Lucy thought it would make him feel more at home if she joined him.
We discovered that Morty loves his belly rubbed, just like us.
It started getting really hot, so we all came in the house. Daddy had paid someone to come fix our air conditioning, so it was much cooler. Soon, Morty left with his folks because he was going to be the star at a child’s birthday party. (He didn’t want to wear Angel Lexi’s star hat, either.)
After 87 hours they all came back and it was suppertime. We watched – with fascination – how Morty eats.
That’s water in the blue bowl, and piggy food mixed with fresh veggies in his food dish.
Morty, Ella, Achilles, Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill have to leave soon, so we’ll finish telling you all about our visit tomorrow.
XOX Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Xena – The Visit Ends: Our visitors finally went home after
peeing being with us for 10 days.
Xena – A Hat? No Thanks. Mommy decided once again to try putting Angel Lexi’s hat on me. A cast member gave it to her when she was in the Wizard of Oz. It has a star on it to show she was the star of the show.
Does my expression tell it all?
Lucy – No board, just groom: Chaz was supposed to stay with us last week, but something happened that his folks couldn’t go away.
Instead, he just came for a groom.
Xena – Heat and a flower or something like that: It was hotter than a witch’s ti…
Lucy – Xena! No!
Xena – What?
Lucy – The saying is “colder” not “hotter.”
Xena – Oh. Anyway, it’s been hot. So finally one day there was a slight break in the heat and we convinced Mommy to take us for a walk. I thought I’d better leave as much pee mail as I could, ’cause who knows when we will be out walking again, right? And we even saw some pretty flowers.
I’m not sure how that’s going to go, but we are all hoping for the best.
One thing I am sure about is that I can hardly wait to see Ella again. You know we are tight! So, when I heard she was coming to visit, I shouted out a “Hey, girl” to her. She promptly responded the same to me.
She said as long as I understood that Aunty Jen is HER Mom, we’re cool.
Xena – Daddy is MY Daddy too, you know!
This is Lucy and Xena (she means Xena and Lucy) joining the LLB Gang (especially Rosy) for Flower Friday.
Do you ever get cold in bed? Sometimes, between the air conditioning and the overhead fan, I start shivering so hard I wake up Mommy. So she has started putting a lightweight shirt on me at night.
So, after a good night’s sleep in my sleep shirt that Mommy made me, and after my brekkies and after my potty out front, I decided to get in my red chair and watch what was going on in the neighborhood. What I found in my chair shocked me!
Mommy! I think Mr. Elephant – you know Mr. Elephant who was my Guardian Angel Lexi’s Elephant – is dead! What’ll I do!?
Oh, goodness! His bee-hind is still warm and smells like him. Wait! He moved!
*whispers* Oh my dog, Mr. Elephant. I thought you died. Please don’t ever scare me like that again! Psst, I love you.
I am Xena, the relieved Schnauzer Princess Warrior
Before I tell my story, I want to wish Noodle, my almost brother-in-law, of the Adventures of Noodle, a very happy birthday. Noodle was Lexi’s boyfriend, and they had lots of wonderful adventures together. So, from me and Lucy and Mommy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOODLE!
Well, it’s been six days and Louis and Laila are still with us. And they are still alive and unharmed. Just wait til I tell you why I said that. Monday morning, Daddy got up extra early to go in to work. He doesn’t usually go to work on Monday and neither does Mommy, but he had a lot to do. The invaders were sleeping in my kennel in the living room, and he tried to sneak past them. He was trying to be quiet so they didn’t wake up Mommy. When that didn’t work, he let them out of my kennel, which is right next to the back door, and was about to open the door for them when Laila peed on the floor. While he was trying to get that cleaned up, Louis ran around the house lifting his leg on everything! Daddy tried to get that cleaned up, too, but, well, he had to go to work. So he woke up Mommy and told her what happened. That was probably his second mistake, right after letting the invaders out of my kennel. We won’t get into that, though.
Soooo, in order for Mommy to keep her sanity and in order to help Daddy stay out of trouble, we now have a protocol. It goes like this.
2. The first thing in the morning, Mommy fixes their breakfast and sets it out back on the patio. Then she takes them out and removes their diapers. They stay there until it is time for her to go to work. Then she goes outside and puts their diapers back on them before bringing them in and telling them to go into my kennel. (grr)
3. After work, Mommy fixes their supper and sets it out back on the patio, then takes them out back, removes their diapers, and leaves them there until me and Lucy eat our supper.
4. Then Mommy goes back out, puts their diapers back on them, and brings them in to spend the evening with us.
The funny thing is, I have started liking them being here. I firmly told Louis, “No!” and he has stopped sniffing my bee-hind and trying to climb on me. And I keep trying to get Laila to be my friend. I gently put my paw on her and wag my tail. She mostly ignores me, but last night we all played together, even Lucy and Louis.
Mommy admitted that she had hoped I would make some friends my own size and have someone to play with besides Lucy, who is 87 times bigger than me. I still get to snuggle up close to Mommy all night long, and now I get to stay out of my kennel during the day because Louis and Laila are in it. And I get to play with them after supper. Maybe, just maybe, Mommy knew what she was doing.
Love and wiggles, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Sometimes Mommy drops food when she is cooking, so I always watch the kitchen floor when we are out there together. Suddenly this tiny, red (alien?) ball appeared. It didn’t talk to me or flash lights at me, so I started pushing it around, trying to figure out what it was. I still don’t know what it was, but it sure was juicy!
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
We are joining Rosy for Nature Friday!
Books and writing
Following in the legendary pawsteps of Lexi the Schnauzer
Life as an Ambulatory Equine Veterinarian
A photo diary of life with 2 affens & more.....
Cartoons by John Atkinson. ©John Atkinson, Wrong Hands
Musings on what I enjoy about dogs, crochet, birds, and life.
Following in the legendary pawsteps of Lexi the Schnauzer
surviving retirement with two cats
All about our truly best friend...
Comfort and compassion out of chaos
Dogtor B, an ex-shelter dog, became a therapy dog in October 2016. He loves to talk about his endeavors, his new little brother Sky, and life in general.
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Meezers At Large
The Cricket Pages
LEERNIN TO LIVE AN LOVE AGAIN
I'm a parrot curmudgeon
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The Life of a Rescued Stray
Life as Seen by Hemingway and Steinbeck
My life with Schnauzers