Xena: Who’s up there on the bed whispering? Make way, I’m coming up.
Yay! You’re all out of hibernation, and look! There’s our missing Mr. Eleephant!! Sweetheart, your eye looks odd. Do you have pink-eye?
Sweetheart Bear: No, Xena, that’s just my pink furs that got in it. You can lick them away from my eye if you want. And yes, we found Mr. Eleephant. Well, actually, Rainbow bear found him sitting on the front step. He was a bit hungry and cold, but otherwise he’s ok.
Elle: The bears are having a post-hibernation confab and I was invited because I’m Mr. Eleephant’s care-taker when he is here.
Jen Jen Bear: Yes we’re discussing how to keep everyone alive and safe from that Riley dog, as well as what to do about that Scoundrel Ludwig.
Ludwig suddenly appears: Mr. Eleephant, it’s good to see you’re alive and well. I had urgent business to…
Rainbow Bear: Ludwig, you scoundrel! We take care of our own around here. How dare you abandon Mr. Eleephant on the front porch while you tried to spy on Xena! (click here if you missed this)
Ludwig: Mr. Eleephant is OK – he’s a tough old coot. And well, I, I, I already wore the cone of shame. Isn’t that enough? Can’t we all be friends again?
The bears and the elephants discussed how they wanted to handle this, and what to do next. An executive decision was made…
OK, all y’all, game’s on. Last one to Xena’ kennel is a rotten Ludwig!
This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Chippy the chipmunk with a hoard travelling to my kennel.
Xena: Take it away where? What are you talking about, Lucy? I’m watching to see where this squirrel goes.
Lucy: I mean, go ahead with more of your story. Your adoring fans are waiting to hear what happens next. *sigh* I’ll watch the squirrel for you.
If you missed any of our story, you can click on Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3. It’ll help Part 4 make more sense…
Xena’s story: A Dog and her Cat Friends, with another Plot Hound, Part Four
With a newly-found resolve, Xe and Tye headed in the general direction they thought was toward Tennessee. It was early morning, so they kept the sun on their right as they walked. From old habits in Siam, where Tye was from, they kept away from the water as they traveled, so nothing could jump out and eat them. As they walked they talked about many things. The pair recalled the fun they had together in Siam, and how Tye would catch mice to throw at any leopards or tigers they might encounter. That led to Tye relating her voyage from Siam to Texas and the mice she caught and cared for. Then the conversation took a more serious turn.
“You know what happened to you when you got off the ship wasn’t right.” Xe got angry just thinking about it. “We need to do something so it doesn’t happen to any more Siamese cats.”
“It’s true, Xe. I was so excited, thinking about seeing you again and the fun we would have, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in that detention center eating rotten vegetables. I hadn’t done anything wrong! I don’t understand why I got treated like that!”
“We need to go to the big white house and ask the people in charge to make those ICY people stop doing that,” exclaimed Xe. But it’s a long walk; we’re going to need a ride.”
No sooner did Xe woof their need for a ride than a horse came galloping up to them.
“I hear you’re in need of a ride.” The horse bowed her head as she addressed Xe. “How can I help you free everyone of tyranny and oppression and rotten vegetables?”
Xe and Tye looked up at this huge horse, who seemed to genuinely want to help them, even if she was a bit zealous and also a bit off the mark of their goal. “What is your name?” they asked in unison, both with a slight quiver of fear in their voices.
“I am a Horse with No Name,” replied the magnificent creature. “Tell me why you are out here in the middle of nowhere, and where you want to go.”
Xe was spell-bound that there could be a Horse with No Name. Ignoring the horse’s question, Xe asked, “Have you been to the desert? I hear in the desert you can remember your name.”
When the Horse with No Name didn’t reply, Tye and Xe related their experiences over the past few days.
“Stay here,” said the horse as she wheeled about on her hind legs and cantered off into the scrub brush, just out of earshot. They could hear her whinnying and nodding her head, but couldn’t make out what she was saying into her iphone.
“Both of you, climb on my back and I will get you as far as I can,” the Horse with No Name told them as she skidded to a stop in front of them.
The two friends looked at each other, and, with unspoken agreement leaped upon the Horse with No Name’s back.
As their newest friend started off at a full gallop, Xe and Tye laid down and hung on for dear life. “Ho No!” they screamed,” we’re going to die!”
“How did you guess that I go by ‘Ho No?’ asked the Horse with No Name.
“Is that a Hawaiian word?” asked Tye.
“No, it’s short for HOrse with NO Name,” replied the horse. “And I won’t let you die. I’ll stop if I feel one of you slipping off.”
On like that they went for about 87 miles, with Ho No settling into a smooth trot that she could keep up for hours. The riders kept their eyes closed for a long time, pressing themselves against her broad, flat back. Except for an occasional grunt, their claws digging into her sides didn’t seem to bother Ho No at all. At one point, Tye opened her eyes, and seeing how pretty Ho No’s mane was braided, asked her about it. “It’s because I’m a girl,” Ho No said as if that was the only explanation needed.
After what felt like 87 hours Ho No came to a halt. “This is the end of the line for me, girls,” she whinnied. I’ve gotten you as far as northeast Georgia. I spoke with one of my friends, who is going to pick you up and take you the rest of the way to the big white house.”
“Will we see you again?” Tye began to ask, but Ho No had already disappeared down the back dirt road in a cloud of dust. Or maybe it was a cloud of red clay since they were, after all, in Georgia
They waited there for about 87 minutes, watching for another horse to appear, hopefully one with a real name. They were taking advantage of the fresh water nearby (that Ho No had promised was safe), when an old truck came charging down the road.
“Xe Xe,” whispered Tye, ” get your nose out of the grass and look at this. I think maybe the ICY Plott Hound has found us, but something looks different about him.”
At that, Xe whipped around, ready to make a run for it with Tye.
Xena: To start off our not quite WW we want to wish everyone a belated happy St. Patrick’s Day, and feature the back of the green shirt that was printed during Angel Lexi’s second run as Toto in the Wizard of Oz.
Can you find Lexi’s name? The first one to get the right answer will win… oh, never mind; Lucy’s just going to stop me anyway.
Lucy: Next, we want to feature the infamous cone of shame. You may remember that “Lois” showed up at our front door claiming to be Ludwig’s cousin. You can click hereif you missed that one. Many of you were justifiably dubious, and thought it was probably Ludwig in drag. Well, we are here to tell you that you were right! The first give-away (no, not a trip, Xena) was that “Lois” immediately took up Ludwig’s usual place on the old Victrola.
Spying on Xena was such a shameful act that he has to wear the cone of shame, at least until we figure out where Mr. Eleephant is.
Now for our Cone of Shame funny, he, he, he.
Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!
XOX from your friends, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
If you missed Part 1, click here, and Part 2, click here.
Lucy: OK Xena, you’ve kept everyone waiting long enough. It’s time for the next installment of your story. Let’s see, you left Tye in an interment camp for illegal Siamese and others our country didn’t want here, and you were on your way to get her out. What happens next? Do you get Tye out and bring her home with you?
Xena: Well, you see, I’ve been thinking about it, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. At least that’s what I’ve heard. But maybe not too much worse…
A Dog, Her Cat Friends and a Plot Hound Part 3
Xe took her suitcase full of good raw meat – frozen to keep it from spoiling – and hopped the first bus she could find heading out to the detention center in Texas where poor Tye had been imprisoned.
Xe told the driver what was happening, and he put the peddle to the metal, ignoring the rest of his stops. Later that night the driver dropped Xe off at the address Tye had given for the center and wished her well.
Meanwhile, Tye was saying goodbye to the second doggie she had ever made friends with. Pedro the chihuahua had been picked up by Border Patrol and been detained until he found a sponsor. A nice American man rescued Pedro the chihuahua. Instead of saying, “Gracias,” Pedro kept yelling, “Quiero Taco Bell.” He must have been starving!
Tye, also famished from subsisting on a diet of rotten vegetables, pleaded with the man to take her, too. “Please, nice man, won’t you take me home with you, or at least get me outta here and onto a bus to my friend’s house in Tennessee?” But the man said he was only allowed to rescue one detainee at a time. He promised to try to come back for her, though, especially since she and Pedro were now friends.
Xe had hidden in the bushes until the breakfast bell rang and the guards all went off to eat. As she stealthily approached the fence, a man carrying a chihuahua walked past her.
The pup kept screaming something about Taco Bell, and that made Xe’s stomach growl loudly. The man walked faster, thinking Xe was about to attack. Xe thought about following them, hoping to score a taco, but resolved to get Tye out from behind that fence first. Yes! Tye was her first priority, even over her stomach, and that shows a lot of love from a schnauzer, even a warrior princess schnauzer.
All the resolve in the world couldn’t help her when an ICY Plott Hound guard suddenly appeared from around the corner. He had heard all the yelling, and came to see if someone was passing out tacos. Xe decided to make a run for it ..
… when the ICY Plott Hound guard grabbed her by the back leg and slung her into a bag with a sign on it that read, “Schnauzer meat, good to eat.” Xe hoped the sign was a joke, but what kind of a person – or dog – would joke about that! In short order, Xe was processed (no, not made into meat; her paperwork got finished), then she was thrown into a detention area.
Even though this was not the reunion they had both imagined, Tye and Xe were happy to see each other again. “What’s in that red cooler over there?” asked Xe. “Rotten vegetables,” replied Tye, with a look of both disdain and resignation on her face. Xe was about to explain that there were good probiotics in some rotten veggies when a sudden flash of hope shone in Tye’s eyes. She looked at Xe and whispered, “We can plan our escape together. There is a COOL guard in here who likes me, and she will help us!”
The next day, when the COOL guard came to see how Tye was doing, she was surprised to see Tye cuddled up sleeping with a schnauzer warrior princess – and Minnie Mouse.
Xe had remembered to pack her bed, a pretty scarf to wear to sleep in, and a mouse toy for Tye. Tye had to meow Xe awake so they could confer with the COOL guard.
“Excuse me ma’am,” woofed Xe (Xe had been raised to have good manners), “could you please help us get out of here? I am Xe Schnauzer Warrior Princess, and I am a citizen of the great US, born in Georgia and living in Tennessee. You can check my AKC papers, it’s all right there.”
After looking over Xe’s official papers, the COOL lady took them to the office to start the process for her release. And since Xe really is a citizen of the US, she also applied to be Tye’s sponsor. While Xe and Tye waited, they filled their bellies with the now thawed meat that Xe had brought.
87 hours later, the paperwork was still not ready. Come nightfall, the two friends snuggled up to sleep in the comfort of each other’s company. The next morning the COOL guard, also called the NICE (short for Not ICY) guard by Tye and Xe, returned with all the paperwork they needed to be released and allowed to go back to Tennessee.
“Well, we’re out,” meowed Tye, who still wore her ID from the detention center. “Now what?”
“I don’t know,” woofed Xe. “I don’t know how to get home from here, and I want my Mommy.”
“Don’t worry,” Tye said in her best soothing voice. “I’ve come all the way from Siam, almost got thrown overboard on the ship, got locked up in a detention center, ate rotten vegetables for a week, and then my bestie XeXe came and rescued me!”
At Tye’s words, Xe had to smile, if only a little, and her heart swelled with love for her cat friend. “You’re right, TyeTye, it can only get better from here. Let’s go home.”
The sun was just rising behind them as they began their journey north on paw, hoping that a NICE person would give them a lift to Tennessee.
Come back next Monday to find out what happens next.
Story and pictures by Xena, all rights reserved, except for certain cats in Canada who are part of this story. But the mean old plott hound can’t use this to his own devices.
Lucy: As many of you know, our Mom works as the Office Manager at a Conservative Jewish synagogue. The shul, or synagogue building, is too unstable to use, and it is going to be torn down. Because of that the office has been moved into the basement of our house while they try to figure out a more permanent solution for worship, work, and events. It’s really nice, cause Mom only has to walk downstairs to go to work, and we can go to work with her.
Xena: By the way, I am out of the cone now. I got my stitches removed from my Big Girl surgery, and I’m leaving my incision alone. I really don’t want to have to wear that plastic head band again.
Lucy: So anyhow, back to Mom, I kept hearing her and Dad talk about teaching a dance called the Hustle. Then I got an idea!
“Hey Mom, why are you teaching Hustle at a synagogue? I thought they worshiped and learned there. I didn’t know it was a place to dance!”
Mom: “Purim is coming up, and it’s one of the most fun holidays celebrated by the Jewish people. Purim (held on the 14th day of the Hebrew month of Adar — this year the first week of March) commemorates the day Esther, Queen of Persia, saved the Jewish people from execution by Haman, the adviser to the Persian king. “
Lucy: “Haman…boo! Um, do they use cats to purr, for Purim? I can’t wait to hear that. Will any of them come to our office?”
Mom: “No, sweet Lucy. It’s pronounced pour-um. And, before you ask, the only thing being poured is some drinks.”
Xena: “Why are you teaching hustle? Maybe I could do my dance routine with you and we could teach Freestyle?”
Mom: “It’s got to be hustle because the theme for the evening is ‘Stayin’ Alive,’ like in the John Travolta movie. It’s right out of the 1960’s, when hustle was big. Because of the problems with the building, and the challenges of keeping the congregation together with hope that we will overcome those challenges, we went with that theme. Last year there was a Talent Contest at the Purim celebration, and your Dad and I dressed up and performed the hustle.
Everyone enjoyed it, and it fit right into this year’s theme. Hence, your Dad and I are teaching hustle.”
Lucy (back to my idea): “Hey Mom, maybe I could try helping to teach dance as a career, like Angel Lexi did. She even created a Video of her doing hustleas a Valentine’s present to Noodle.”
Xena: No! I want to help! Me, me! I want to do a video! I want…
*a few days later*
Lucy: “Mom, aren’t you going to brush your hair before you leave the house?”
Mom: “Nope, I need big hair for our Stayin’ Alive party! See you pups later.”
Lucy: We heard about the party, but didn’t get to go. The Rabbi and our friend Laurie did a skit like in SNL (Saturday Night Live) and different folks read the Megillah in Hebrew, and everyone ate and drank, and then the Hustle class started.
Maybe it’s good that we weren’t there after all. Happy belated Purim, everyone, and may none of your dance teachers look this crazy.
Lucy: Hi Xena. Whatcha doing? You look like you’re up to something.
Xena: I’m thinking. It’s Dr. Seuss Day. He wrote fun stories and poems. You know Angel Lexi was an author, too. She wrote a whole book about her life and adventures. I’m thinking maybe I could write a little story.
Lucy: You’ll never know unless you try. Like Dr. Seuss said, “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!” So, how are you going to do it?
Xena: I’m thinking maybe I’ll dogtate it into one of those dogtation machines. Then, if there’s a mistake, I can blame the machine.
Lucy: Sounds like a plan. Have you come up with a story?
Xena: Yep. Here goes: My name is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess. Xena for short. Xe for shorter. I have two Siamese cat friends. Their names are Shoko and Tyebe. They live in a different country named Canada. Shoko is smart, and Tyebe is fun. They have their own blog. The end.
Lucy: Your dogtator seems to be working just fine. But there’s a couple of little things maybe that need changed.
Xena: Are you saying you don’t like my story, that my story stinks? Or don’t you like the Canadian cats?
Lucy: I love the Canadian cats, and your story doesn’t stink. Every good writer has someone called an editor, and since you’re such a good writer *toes crossed* you deserve a good editor like me. Now, first of all, all short stories are at least a few pages long. It would be great if you told more about everyone in the story and different things that you all do or like to do. And there is usually a plot.
Xena: But this is about cats, not plot hounds.
Lucy: Uh, ok, never mind that. The other thing is that you must not use your friends’ real names. You need to make up names, like Mary or Ann or Susan or Tammy or…
Xena’s story: A Dog and her Cat Friends, with no Plot Hounds, Part One
Xe was a beautiful miniature schnauzer with salt and pepper coloring. She had a very happy life with her dog sister Lu and her peeps, Mom and Dad. Xe went on a trip on a boat. It was a big boat, and it sailed all the way to the land of Siam. There was lots of dancing and food on the big boat, so Xe had many days and nights of fun. All the boy dogs wanted to dance with Xe because she was a very talented dancer, and pretty, too. At night, she always went back to her cabin alone and slept by herself. She missed cuddling up to Mom and Dad in the big bed back home, but then she remembered she wasn’t allowed to do that all night now, anyway. But that’s a story for another day.
After being at sea for several weeks and eating her fill of the fishies of the sea and dancing until she thought maybe her legs would fall off, Xe saw land. Before sunset that day, the big boat docked at that wonderful land called Siam. Everyone on the boat ran off and started to explore. While walking between shops, Xe met two Siamese cats. The older one was named Sho and she was very wise. The young one was named Tye and she was full of energy and very mischievous.
“Where are you from,” asked Tye, “and what is your name? I’m Tye.”
“I’m Xe, and I’m from the wonderful land of USA.”
“That’s Sho over there. She’s my big sister. Do you want to be our friend? Sho doesn’t like to play very much. Do you? What do you like to play?” Tye was full of questions, and kept jumping at the little schnauzer, who had never had a cat friend before.
When Tye stopped to catch her breath, Xe replied, “I love to play, especially chasing balls. I like to run with a friend, too, but I don’t like to be jumped at.”
“Look out little schnauzer named Xe!” exclaimed Sho. “You almost got trampled by the local traffic.”
So Xe and Tye went to the edge of the jungle where there wasn’t so much traffic and found some mangoes to play with that had not been stepped on by an elephant. Tye jumped at the fruit and batted them around with her front paws, while Xe ran and brought back the mangoes that Tye had hit further away. Sho sat and cleaned her lovely paws while keeping a watchful eye on the young ones. When one of the mangoes rolled into a nearby creek, Xe started after it.
“Stop!” meowed Sho in her loudest Siamese voice. “Little schnauzers have to be very careful about going near water where mean old crocodiles live. They have a reputation for wanting to eat all the schnauzers in the land.”
Just as Xe heard Sho yell for her to come back quickly, she saw Mort the Siamese crocodile, who was camouflaged in the muddy water. That was enough to scare even a very brave little schnauzer warrior princess like Xe. She quickly turned and ran back to Sho and Tye as fast as she could. Xe collapsed in front of them, quivering with fear or maybe with adrenaline. Yep, it was probably with adrenaline. Realizing this magical land was actually full of danger, Xe was grateful for the Siamese cats’ offer for her to go home with them to spend the night in a safe place with comfy mats on the floor to sleep on. In Siam, everyone named their huts, and Sho, being the oldest, had named their hut Canada.
The next few days were spent with the three of them together, learning more about each other and becoming fast friends. Xe sat at Sho’s feet and listened to her talk about her life in Siam, soaking up her words of wisdom. Once Sho quoted Dr. Seuss, saying, “Only you can control your future.”
Sho taught Xe the song, “I am Siamese if you please, I am Siamese if you don’t please.” That song would run through the little schnauzers head for years to come, reminding her always of her good friends and the wonderful time they had together in Siam.
Sho would nap often, and during those times, Xe and Tye would play-wrestle and chase each other around the hut, being careful to stay out of the Siam elephant traffic and away from any creeks or pools of water. Every evening the three of them took walks in the lane that bordered the jungle, being careful not just of rampaging elephants and schnauzer-eating crocodiles, but also of wild boars, leopards and cobra snakes.
Sometimes they brought mice that Tye and Xe had caught during the day to throw at the leopards if they came too near. The plan was that the mice would bounce off the leopard and then start running, causing the big, wild cat to chase after them. Out of Sho’s hearing, they whispered about trying to stuff a wiggling mouse down a cobra’s throat if they got the chance, but that chance never happened. Sometimes it misted a light rain during their evening strolls, and even Sho joined the youngsters in a joyful rain dance that included a lot of hopping and turning and yipping and chirping. After these happy dances, the three of them would run back to their hut Canada and wrap up in fluffy towels, while they sipped cups of warm, sweet tea before settling into their bed mats for the night. Always, while drifting off to sleep, young Tye would whisper something a wise “Dr.” once said, “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”
The day finally came for the the big boat to blow it’s loud horn. Three times the horn sounded, signaling its imminent departure to all who wanted to sail home from Siam. With tearful hugs, Sho and Tye bid Xe goodbye and safe travels. Oh, and they exchanged email addresses so they could keep in touch and maybe even plan how to get together again. Xe dawdled so long, not wanting to leave her new – and only – cat friends that she almost missed the big boat, leaping astride the boarding ramp just as it was being pulled onto the ship. She jumped into the big boat and turned quickly toward shore, her ears flapping in the wind. She feared this would be the last time she would see Sho and Tye, and her eyes blurred as she blinked back schnauzer tears. And then it came to her: Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss
Xe’s fears were not to come true. The three best friends – or maybe just two of them – would find a way to see each other again soon. The End.
Hi there friends. Do you remember when I didn’t know what to do about the scary schnauzer in the chair ? The one that had my bone? Well, I’ve got news. I decided to put on my brave schnauzer warrior face and confront him. It turns out he is actually a she just like some of you suggested. Now that I think about it, how could a boy possibly look that scary, right? Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: Why did you take my bone? (I believe in asking the most important questions first.)
Scary Schnauzer: I recovered your bone from Riley. I kept it safe, waiting for you to come get it, but you kept backing away.
Me: You glared at me!
Scary Schnauzer: I wasn’t glaring at you. I was glaring at Riley who was standing behind you.
Me: Oh. What’s your name?
Almost Scary Schnauzer: I won’t tell you my name. I am here to protect you. You have to realize that I could be shredded to bits at any moment.
Me: What’s that have to do with me knowing your name?
Not So Scary Schnauzer: If you knew my name you might want to be my friend. And then you would be sad if I was injured in the line of duty. Live your life, be a good schnauzer, and take care of your family.
I found this badge that Miss Ann from Zoolatry made and decided it was meant just for today. Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends. May you have love all your lives.
I want to wish my wonderful big sissie, Lucy, a happy Valentine’s Day. I don’t tell her very often that I love her, but I think I would feel totally lost without her. I love you, Lucy. (Just don’t get any ideas about eating my food.)
Your little sister, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Xena: Something odd happened around here. I was having a good, normal Saturday. Daddy finished putting together my breakfast and I declared it good. Mommy finally crawled out of bed around 6:30 in the morning, saw it was dark and cold and threatening snow, and said we would all go outside after the sun came up. We never actually saw the sun, but it did get lighter outside so that we could see if any coyotes or werewolves were coming at us from the nearby woods. (None did.) Lucy and I played in the yard for a little bit while Riley (yes, he’s back) took his time deciding if he would step onto the wet grass. Mommy says Riley is very smart, but he sure does take a long time thinking about stuff.
I still didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary when I heard a scratching at the front door. We get a lot of Amazon deliveries, and I figured the delivery person had figured out the dog way of asking for the door to be opened was preferable to banging on it or ringing that annoying bell. Well, that, or else I was finally going to get to be a ratter.
So, as usual, I hollered for Mommy to come open the door. Look who was there! At first I thought it was Ludwig come home, then I saw the dress…
Xena: “Who are you? Are you Ludwig? You smell like Ludwig. Why are you dressed like that?
Schnauzer at the door: No, Xena, I am Ludwig’s cousin, Lois. I’ve heard so much about you from my wonderful, handsome cousin Ludwig! Then I heard that you and that scoundrel, er, I mean, Achilles might be getting married, so I came for the wedding. Let me in.
Xena: Riley! Get out of my bed and come here! I need your help.
This dog says (s)he’s Lois, Ludwig’s cousin. What do you think?
Riley: Well, (s)he’s got this strap thing from the dress wrapped around the part that would give it away, so I’m not sure. Do you want me to rip it off?
Lois: Stop it! Stop it!
Xena: No, that would be way too rude. But she thinks I’m marrying Achilles. What should we do?
Riley: Lucy says let the new dog stay.
If it’s really Ludwig, we’ll know soon enough.
Yes, we will know soon enough. If Lois perches on Vicky the Troll, uh, we’ll know it’s really Ludwig, and my ploy to make him jealous worked.
In the meantime, I’ve reclaimed my bed and am going to help Mommy in her home office.
Xena: We almost never get snow around here in SE Tennessee. Maybe a light sprinkling that doesn’t stay on the ground. So, at two and a half, I’ve never seen real snow.
Lucy: At Christmas a couple of years ago, when I took my trip with Dad to visit my grandma in Illinois, I found out all about snow. It’s cold, and sometimes it’s fun to play in. Mom got me a really nice winter coat after that so that I will be warm next time Dad takes me.
Xena: Do you remember how I kept wishing for snow last year, and then Spring came without Winter leaving even a snowflake in it’s wake? Apparently, wishes sometimes take a while to come true.
Lucy: Mom hadn’t shoveled the walk or the road. It was still too warm to stick there. Pretty soon, though, the walks and roads gave up their battle with the snow.
Xena: As I watched, the snow started to cover the road and our driveway and walkway. The babysitter for the synagogue where Mommy works called and cancelled. The new groom Mommy was getting in called and debated about coming, and asked if Mommy wanted her to. Mommy said it was totally up to her, since she was the one having to drive in this weather. She decided not to come, and we hope she will reschedule for Monday or next Saturday. She’s got a white shih tzu with a deformed front leg. I can’t wait to see her. Her name is Sandy, just like our last name!
Lucy: Hey Xena, do you remember this picture of Angel Lexi from 2011? I think that’s what you’d look like if you went out in this snow.
Hmm, snow sounds over-rated. I think I’ll just take a nap instead.
Disclaimer: We know that many of you get tons of snow all winter long. Please understand that this is a big deal for us. Schools and businesses close, traffic slows to a crawl, and the stores empty of water, bread and milk. We’ve never quite understood that last part, but at least Mom has plenty of food in the house for us!
I’ve been staring at him a lot. He won’t tell me his name. Or what he’s doing with my bone. Or why he doesn’t want to play. Daddy says he just sits there and stares at us, and looks rather frightening, and I must agree. This mean-looking schnauzer stays in a chair in the living room. Sometimes I sit on the end of the couch and stare back. Sometimes I get brave enough to jump onto the chair and try to steal back my bone.
I’m working on trying to look like him.
What do you think? Do I look scary?
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!
Hi, this is Xena again. I read in one of Angel Lexi’s posts that she loved the phrase et al, so I had to keep reading to find out what it meant. I quickly discovered it meant whatever you want it to mean. So, let’s start with who is still the reigning queen et al.
Ella, Queen of her Domain, et al
Lucy: Ella and I are still best friends, et al.
Speaking of et als, Mom asked me to include this picture in our post today. She thinks it’s a lovely picture of me in Auntie Jen’s living room.
We all fell back in like we had never been apart.
Here I am between my BFF Ella and my guy Achilles, et al, watching a black cat walking along the fence line. We saw him on and off throughout our visit.
Xena: We all spent a lot of time after lunch sitting around visiting and snoozing in our chairs. There was a dog for every person, plus a bonus pig for Auntie Jen et al.
Achilles picked Mommy as his bed.
Lucy: The real reason we came this particular weekend was to celebrate Aunty Jen’s birthday – and also Dad’s birthday that was last week. Oh yeah, and Lucy’s, too. So the peeps went out to the “Snow Ball.” Dad and Mom et al danced all evening to a big band.
Mom danced so much her left foot felt like it was getting a blister (it wasn’t), and Dad danced so much his previously injured ankle started to scream. But they said it was too much fun to worry about a little pain.
Xena: Aunty Jen and Mommy got up really early on Saturday morning to do a pod cast or something like that on Facebook, I think. All I know was that Aunty Jen was talking into a camera while holding up clothes called lularoe and Mommy was frantically unpacking a box, ripping open the bags, hanging the clothes and numbers on hangers, and handing them to Aunty Jen. I made the mistake of hanging out with them, and got used as a “sales tool.” I didn’t even have my beard washed or combed, and it was so early that I was still in my sock monkey jammies. It was rather embarrassing, but people kept typing in comments about how cute I am. *grin* So anyhow, if you want to buy any lularoe for Valentine’s Day – or anytime – Aunty Jen is selling them. Tell her Xena sent you.
Love and wiggles, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, back home et al.
This picture was taken just before Rudy found out he was leaving. While we were playing we heard that noisy rooster across the street. Rudy joked, “Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: So Lucy and Xena didn’t eat him!” BOL, BOL, BOL! Everyone laughed so hard they fell over.
And just look at that silly Chippy. Prissy, Bunny and Rudy almost passed out from laughing so hard, but Chippy is still laughing. I was sitting there thinking about if I could catch that chicken!
But it’s time. Today, we put away all the Christmas decorations. Mommy said it’s too depressing to put them away right after Christmas, so she waited until she could put out some decorations for Valentine’s Day. Anyhoo, Santa saw everything Christmas being put in bins and stored in the attic. And when he saw the sunshine and felt the warmth of a beautiful sunny day, he declared it was time to leave.
Of course Rudy is going with him. I’ll miss Rudy; he’s so much fun. But, as Santa pointed out, I still have my new friends to get to know better and to play with, as well as most of my old favorites. Safe travels, Santa and Rudy, and see you next Christmas!
Lucy: Hey Xena, have you heard anything from Ludwig since he left in such a hurry with Mr. Eleephant?
Xena: What do you mean? Why would I hear from him? He was just going to visit his pawrents in New York City, right? What could he possibly want to tell me?
Lucy: Oh, I don’t know, maybe about all his shenanigans since he left. I googled him, and it seems he has a wild side we didn’t know about. You’d better sit down. Sit, Xena, sit!
This was the first picture that popped up with his name.
Doesn’t this look like Ludwig going into that club?
Xena: Well, it’s dark out and it’s from the back. Really, it could be anyone. Besides, Mr. Eleephant isn’t with him, and Ludwig’s supposed to be taking care of him.
Lucy: I found this one in the Tattler.
That’s the Australian model Shanina Shaik he’s with there.
Xena: He was probably just passing her by on the sidewalk on his way home to check on Mr. Eleephant.
Lucy: Paparazzi don’t take pictures of someone just passing someone else by, Xe. Here’s another one.
Look how that woman is looking at Ludwig. She seems to be enjoying his company. And he’s smiling pretty big, too.
Xena: But, but, I’m sure they were all just going the same direction. Or maybe they are nurses he’s taking home to help care for Mr. E.
Lucy: Yeah, he probably is taking them home… I’ve got one more. Wanna see it?
Xena: *hangs head* No, but go ahead and show me.
Lucy: Ludwig is helping to DJ at a rave.
A short while later
Xena: Daddy, I need you to help me write a note to Ludwig.
That’s a good one Daddy. OK, now tell him about the big party we had and sorry he wasn’t around, and there were lots and lots of nice boy dogs there who liked me. And that I’m going away the end of the month to a big bash in Nashville. No, he doesn’t need to know it’s Aunty Jen’s birthday, or that I’m staying at her house while you and Mommy and all the peeps go dancing. Oh, and be sure to tell him I’m looking forward to seeing a certain really big boy dog there. And, and, oh just make up some more stuff.
Lucy and the vindictive Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
I got two new puppies and a chipmunk for Christmas. Oscar is my schnauzer puppy stuffie. His beard is as crazy as mine! My other puppy didn’t have a name. If you didn’t see my Christmas Day post, you can click here. I mentioned then that my sweet new puppy with the long ears needed a name and asked for help, but the only one to respond was Kismet, who suggested “Dumbo” because of her really big ears. That is not just politically incorrect, it’s just plain mean. That made me realize it was up to me to find her a name.
I know she’s a girl because she’s wearing a pink collar. And she does have big ears, sorta like a hound dog. So that got me to thinking. Mr. Elvis used to sing a song about a hound dog and I think his favorite person was Priscilla, so, even though that Priscilla wasn’t a hound dog, I thought maybe my new puppy’s name should be Priscilla. And I could call her Prissy for short, kinda like Mommy calls me Xee and Xee Xee.
I’m teaching Prissie all kinds of new things.
She’s already learned to jump/climb up on the magical red chair. Please don’t pay any attention to the plaid duck tape on the top of the chair. That will soon be a “last year’s” mistake. And I’m sure any new teeth marks will be from Priscilla as she is teething, right?
Prissy likes to look out the window with me.
I’m teaching her how to watch for things to bark at watch for possible threats. That way, when she grows up, she could be our security dog while Ludwig is away for the winter.
She’s also been watching me practice all my new Freestyle figures. Pretty soon I’ll have a whole new routine to all new music. It’s going to be great!
Anyhoo, I wanted to let you know that the naming contest is over and no one won the trip to…
Lucy: Xena, what the dog are you barking about now? There was never a naming contest!
Did Santa come? Can we open our prezzies? What, not until Daddy gets back with brother Adam?
Lucy: We let our guests go first. Achilles got an empty, Santa covered water bottle, and he loved it! He worked and worked on it until he got the bottle out. Then the fun was over. I think he was disappointed that there was no stuffing in the stuffie!
Xena: Morty got reindeer ears and an empty bag that he tried to eat. Oh wait, the bag wasn’t his prezzie, he just grabbed it from someone else.
Lucy: Mom made doggie cookies for Morty and Achilles and Ella and they all scarfed them up. She packed them up some more from the freezer to take home. Some of them had pumpkin, and some of the cookies had tomato in them. They all were salt and sugar-free, with no preservatives or artificial anything. We weren’t allowed to have any because of all the carbs interfering with our stomach acid pee H.
Xena: But we did get Dogurt. It’s a new doggie yogurt that Mom found right in the dairy section of the grocery. Later we got real live beef soup bones. A big one to fit Lucy’s mouth and a smaller one for me to chew. Our peeps brother Adam sat outside with us until we got all the greasy stuff off them so we didn’t get it all over the furniture.
Lucy: Our friends, Chloe and Chaz -who stay with us sometimes and who Mom grooms – gave us this blanket. Do you see the heartbeat?
Xena: Lucy got a weird bone thing that she doesn’t want and neither do I or Ella.
Mommy said it’s OK for her to give to Achilles the next time she sees him. We’re sure he’ll like it.
I got new stuffies. No bears, ’cause they always go away to hibernate in the winter – except for Winter Bear – and then they empty our fridge when they are done hibernating. They get like zombies trying to eat the brains of Cone Heads. We don’t actually stock brains for them, but we make sure there’s plenty of berries and stuff to satisfy their extreme hunger from not eating all winter.
Anyhow, I got Chip, who is siting in the back closest to me. His big eyes and teeth kind of scared me at first, but I’m getting used to it. And puppy Oscar the Schnauzer. And the other dog is a stray and doesn’t have a name yet. Any suggestions?
Lucy: Brother Andrew got here just in time for dinner. Him and brother Adam were really glad to see each other, and were acting goofy. Mom said it was like how me and Ella act when we see each other after being apart.
I don’t know why “all good things must end.”
But maybe it’s so we can get some rest and be ready for good things the next day.
Love, Peace and Joy from Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Xena: Our friends stayed the night, and the next day – Christmas Eve – they got together with their parents and other family. They were gone a-a-a-all day! In the meantime we had a P-I-G to deal with. Morty. Yesterday we told you about Lucy accidentally French kissing Morty, and Morty invading my new cave tunnel. If you missed it, you can read about it here.
When her folks left, Ella was very upset and kept watching out the window for them. Then she got in her favorite chair and struck a pose and an attitude.
The day was warm – about 68F/19C – and we spent some time out back. Morty grazed (I learned that means he ate grass) and we all hung out for a while. (This pic was taken earlier in the year, but you get the picture…BOL, get the picture BOL!
Achilles has bad allergies, so he had to go in, and everyone but Mommy and Morty went in to keep him company. When it was time for them to come in too, Mom had to sort of herd him onto the back patio and into the house, but at least he listened. He actually listened good to Mommy all day. Next thing you know she will be teaching him tricks, he, he!
Inside, Achilles followed Mom’s every step. Morty followed her around too, but sometimes went off to oink somewhere else in the house. Achilles saw Mommy wrap one of his pressies, and he kept trying to get up high on our Troll named Vic (he’s an old-fashioned record player), so she had to put it wa-a-ay up high on the kitchen cabinets. Then he discovered our magic red chair in the front library, the one where we watch all the world go by, and bark when needed. He thought he had to bark at everything: kids, adults, cars, squirrels, leaves, and probably ants, too. I’m more selective – I never bark at ants or leaves. That soon got on Mommy’s last nerve and she made encouraged him to get down and play with Ella and Lucy. I joined in by barking. She said that somehow the situation had not improved. By the end of the day Lucy and her boyfriend Achilles were worn out.
I may have been a bit worn out myself. But at least I had my chair back.
87 hours later, Uncle Bill and Auntie Jen returned, and then Mommy and Daddy came home from Christmas Eve church. We all fell exhausted into bed, hoping Santa Paws would come and bring us good things.
Please come back tomorrow to find out about our Christmas Day! I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess