This picture was taken just before Rudy found out he was leaving. While we were playing we heard that noisy rooster across the street. Rudy joked, “Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: So Lucy and Xena didn’t eat him!” BOL, BOL, BOL! Everyone laughed so hard they fell over.
And just look at that silly Chippy. Prissy, Bunny and Rudy almost passed out from laughing so hard, but Chippy is still laughing. I was sitting there thinking about if I could catch that chicken!
But it’s time. Today, we put away all the Christmas decorations. Mommy said it’s too depressing to put them away right after Christmas, so she waited until she could put out some decorations for Valentine’s Day. Anyhoo, Santa saw everything Christmas being put in bins and stored in the attic. And when he saw the sunshine and felt the warmth of a beautiful sunny day, he declared it was time to leave.
Of course Rudy is going with him. I’ll miss Rudy; he’s so much fun. But, as Santa pointed out, I still have my new friends to get to know better and to play with, as well as most of my old favorites. Safe travels, Santa and Rudy, and see you next Christmas!
Lucy: Hey Xena, have you heard anything from Ludwig since he left in such a hurry with Mr. Eleephant?
Xena: What do you mean? Why would I hear from him? He was just going to visit his pawrents in New York City, right? What could he possibly want to tell me?
Lucy: Oh, I don’t know, maybe about all his shenanigans since he left. I googled him, and it seems he has a wild side we didn’t know about. You’d better sit down. Sit, Xena, sit!
This was the first picture that popped up with his name.
Doesn’t this look like Ludwig going into that club?
Xena: Well, it’s dark out and it’s from the back. Really, it could be anyone. Besides, Mr. Eleephant isn’t with him, and Ludwig’s supposed to be taking care of him.
Lucy: I found this one in the Tattler.
That’s the Australian model Shanina Shaik he’s with there.
Xena: He was probably just passing her by on the sidewalk on his way home to check on Mr. Eleephant.
Lucy: Paparazzi don’t take pictures of someone just passing someone else by, Xe. Here’s another one.
Look how that woman is looking at Ludwig. She seems to be enjoying his company. And he’s smiling pretty big, too.
Xena: But, but, I’m sure they were all just going the same direction. Or maybe they are nurses he’s taking home to help care for Mr. E.
Lucy: Yeah, he probably is taking them home… I’ve got one more. Wanna see it?
Xena: *hangs head* No, but go ahead and show me.
Lucy: Ludwig is helping to DJ at a rave.
A short while later
Xena: Daddy, I need you to help me write a note to Ludwig.
That’s a good one Daddy. OK, now tell him about the big party we had and sorry he wasn’t around, and there were lots and lots of nice boy dogs there who liked me. And that I’m going away the end of the month to a big bash in Nashville. No, he doesn’t need to know it’s Aunty Jen’s birthday, or that I’m staying at her house while you and Mommy and all the peeps go dancing. Oh, and be sure to tell him I’m looking forward to seeing a certain really big boy dog there. And, and, oh just make up some more stuff.
Lucy and the vindictive Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
I got two new puppies and a chipmunk for Christmas. Oscar is my schnauzer puppy stuffie. His beard is as crazy as mine! My other puppy didn’t have a name. If you didn’t see my Christmas Day post, you can click here. I mentioned then that my sweet new puppy with the long ears needed a name and asked for help, but the only one to respond was Kismet, who suggested “Dumbo” because of her really big ears. That is not just politically incorrect, it’s just plain mean. That made me realize it was up to me to find her a name.
I know she’s a girl because she’s wearing a pink collar. And she does have big ears, sorta like a hound dog. So that got me to thinking. Mr. Elvis used to sing a song about a hound dog and I think his favorite person was Priscilla, so, even though that Priscilla wasn’t a hound dog, I thought maybe my new puppy’s name should be Priscilla. And I could call her Prissy for short, kinda like Mommy calls me Xee and Xee Xee.
I’m teaching Prissie all kinds of new things.
She’s already learned to jump/climb up on the magical red chair. Please don’t pay any attention to the plaid duck tape on the top of the chair. That will soon be a “last year’s” mistake. And I’m sure any new teeth marks will be from Priscilla as she is teething, right?
Prissy likes to look out the window with me.
I’m teaching her how to watch for things to bark at watch for possible threats. That way, when she grows up, she could be our security dog while Ludwig is away for the winter.
She’s also been watching me practice all my new Freestyle figures. Pretty soon I’ll have a whole new routine to all new music. It’s going to be great!
Anyhoo, I wanted to let you know that the naming contest is over and no one won the trip to…
Lucy: Xena, what the dog are you barking about now? There was never a naming contest!
Did Santa come? Can we open our prezzies? What, not until Daddy gets back with brother Adam?
Lucy: We let our guests go first. Achilles got an empty, Santa covered water bottle, and he loved it! He worked and worked on it until he got the bottle out. Then the fun was over. I think he was disappointed that there was no stuffing in the stuffie!
Xena: Morty got reindeer ears and an empty bag that he tried to eat. Oh wait, the bag wasn’t his prezzie, he just grabbed it from someone else.
Lucy: Mom made doggie cookies for Morty and Achilles and Ella and they all scarfed them up. She packed them up some more from the freezer to take home. Some of them had pumpkin, and some of the cookies had tomato in them. They all were salt and sugar-free, with no preservatives or artificial anything. We weren’t allowed to have any because of all the carbs interfering with our stomach acid pee H.
Xena: But we did get Dogurt. It’s a new doggie yogurt that Mom found right in the dairy section of the grocery. Later we got real live beef soup bones. A big one to fit Lucy’s mouth and a smaller one for me to chew. Our peeps brother Adam sat outside with us until we got all the greasy stuff off them so we didn’t get it all over the furniture.
Lucy: Our friends, Chloe and Chaz -who stay with us sometimes and who Mom grooms – gave us this blanket. Do you see the heartbeat?
Xena: Lucy got a weird bone thing that she doesn’t want and neither do I or Ella.
Mommy said it’s OK for her to give to Achilles the next time she sees him. We’re sure he’ll like it.
I got new stuffies. No bears, ’cause they always go away to hibernate in the winter – except for Winter Bear – and then they empty our fridge when they are done hibernating. They get like zombies trying to eat the brains of Cone Heads. We don’t actually stock brains for them, but we make sure there’s plenty of berries and stuff to satisfy their extreme hunger from not eating all winter.
Anyhow, I got Chip, who is siting in the back closest to me. His big eyes and teeth kind of scared me at first, but I’m getting used to it. And puppy Oscar the Schnauzer. And the other dog is a stray and doesn’t have a name yet. Any suggestions?
Lucy: Brother Andrew got here just in time for dinner. Him and brother Adam were really glad to see each other, and were acting goofy. Mom said it was like how me and Ella act when we see each other after being apart.
I don’t know why “all good things must end.”
But maybe it’s so we can get some rest and be ready for good things the next day.
Love, Peace and Joy from Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Xena: Our friends stayed the night, and the next day – Christmas Eve – they got together with their parents and other family. They were gone a-a-a-all day! In the meantime we had a P-I-G to deal with. Morty. Yesterday we told you about Lucy accidentally French kissing Morty, and Morty invading my new cave tunnel. If you missed it, you can read about it here.
When her folks left, Ella was very upset and kept watching out the window for them. Then she got in her favorite chair and struck a pose and an attitude.
The day was warm – about 68F/19C – and we spent some time out back. Morty grazed (I learned that means he ate grass) and we all hung out for a while. (This pic was taken earlier in the year, but you get the picture…BOL, get the picture BOL!
Achilles has bad allergies, so he had to go in, and everyone but Mommy and Morty went in to keep him company. When it was time for them to come in too, Mom had to sort of herd him onto the back patio and into the house, but at least he listened. He actually listened good to Mommy all day. Next thing you know she will be teaching him tricks, he, he!
Inside, Achilles followed Mom’s every step. Morty followed her around too, but sometimes went off to oink somewhere else in the house. Achilles saw Mommy wrap one of his pressies, and he kept trying to get up high on our Troll named Vic (he’s an old-fashioned record player), so she had to put it wa-a-ay up high on the kitchen cabinets. Then he discovered our magic red chair in the front library, the one where we watch all the world go by, and bark when needed. He thought he had to bark at everything: kids, adults, cars, squirrels, leaves, and probably ants, too. I’m more selective – I never bark at ants or leaves. That soon got on Mommy’s last nerve and she made encouraged him to get down and play with Ella and Lucy. I joined in by barking. She said that somehow the situation had not improved. By the end of the day Lucy and her boyfriend Achilles were worn out.
I may have been a bit worn out myself. But at least I had my chair back.
87 hours later, Uncle Bill and Auntie Jen returned, and then Mommy and Daddy came home from Christmas Eve church. We all fell exhausted into bed, hoping Santa Paws would come and bring us good things.
Please come back tomorrow to find out about our Christmas Day! I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
It’s me, Xena the humiliated. I mean, one drop of blood on the library chair, and I have to wear my Big Girl Panties. I’m so embarrassed!
The good news is that this is the last Big Girl Time for me ever! I am going to get my Big Girl Surgery in January or February. I got all the good I’m going to get out of my whore moans. And I might even be out of my diapers Big Girl Panties by Christmas Day.
Hey, I never got to finish telling you about what else happened (and didn’t happen) at my weekend away for Freestyle. As you know, I won my first title on Saturday. And I told you we were going back the next day to see if I could get an even better score. Well, when we woke up in the morning, there was a drop of blood on the sheets and I was swollen you-know-where. So Mommy had to pack up and take me home. But it turned out to be a false alarm. By the way, we are still waiting for our video of my performance. It sure does take them a long time!
Miss BellaDharma from BellaDharma and LadyMews’s Purrfect Pad and I were discussing what to do to keep Mr. Eleephant safe from Bad Riley. In case you missed it, you can go here to see how my big sis Lucy had to save Eleephant’s life after a vicious attack. Miss BellaDharma came up with the purrfect idea. She suggested asking Ludwig to be Mr. Eleephant’s body guard. So, here is the story of how that went.
Ludwig, I have asked you here to meet with me and Mr. Eleephant to discuss a matter of the utmost importance. As you know, Mr. Eleephant barely survived two vicious attacks by Riley. And looking at your side, it appears you have also been his victim.
No, Xena, those scars are from love bites from you.
Oh. Well, that only shows how tough and strong you are. So, Ludwig, we need your help.
Anything for you, mon amour. I would scale Mount Everest, I would sail across the Devil’s Sea, I would wrestle the Tasmanian Devil, I would…
Yes, yes, I understand you are wholly devoted to me, dear Ludwig. Now, back to Mr. Eleephant. He needs you to be his body guard.
Ah, so you know my strength and my total dedication to a task — and to you, beautiful Xena. I accept this labor of love and have a small suggestion.
*whispers* You should stay with us each night so that we can take turns keeping guard. I would let you share my bed…
*blushes* Uh, I think it’s time to ask Jen Jen Bear to join us. She has been tirelessly watching over Mr. Eleephant, and she keeps falling asleep. It is winter, you know.
Jen, Jen, I have good news. Ludwig has accepted the position of body guard for Mr. Eleephant.
You can go hibernate with your friends now with no worries about anything.
There’s just one thing, beautiful Xena. I am going on a winter trip to uh, to see my pawrents, yep, to see my pawents and my gir, er, my grr-ate grandpawrents. I will take Mr. Eleephant with me
*sigh* Once a Ludwig, always a Ludwig.
Goodbye, sweet Mr. Eleephant.
Angel Lexi loved you, and so do I. Take care of yourself
Jen Jen Bear has left to go hibernate, mon amour. You never answered me about sharing my bed tonight. We could keep each other warm while we guard Mr. Eleephant in his sleep.
Xena: I sure do miss Daddy. He’s sick of noise, so he left.
Lucy: Well, Xena, while he may be tired of your shrill barking every time you see something move outside, he’s actually on a trip to visit his mother. She lives in Illinois. Hey, I have an idea. Let’s send him a picture and tell him how much we miss him.
Xena: Come home and let us in, Daddy. Lucy: But it’s sunny and warm out. I want to stay outside. Xena: But it’s his job. Both: We miss you, Dad, come home soon.
Xena: Do you see Daddy? Has he come home yet? Do you think he got our message?
Lucy: I don’t know, Xena. Let’s see if Mom will open the gate so we can help her while she rakes leaves. Maybe that can be one of my new jobs: “Lucy, Professional Leaf Raker.”
Lucy: Race you to that pile of leaves over there.
This is Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess enjoying a sunny 60 degrees in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Xena: Mommy was on her feet working in the house and preparing food all day. She’s more used to a desk job, not being on her feet all day. It’s 8:30 at night, we’ve all had turkey, and Mommy’s ready to sleep. But she thinks that would be rude with our peep brothers still here.
Lucy: We’re sleepy too, but no one thinks we’re rude if we nap.
It’s really nice to see Riley again. We are still friends. Of course, Dad had to rescue Mr. Elephant from him. I didn’t want to have to perform emergency surgery again (see here). Then Dad put all of Xena’s stuffies in their basket and up on the fireplace mantle, out of Riley’s reach.
Xena: Our brother Adam is staying with us for a few days. I like having Adam here. He sits out back with us. And he asks if we are allowed to have treats. I just wish he gave us treats without asking, but I guess he’s well-trained. *yawn* I’m just so sleepy from the turkey neck and liver and some other guts. Mmmm.
Lucy: Tomorrow we’re having some other friends over to play games and visit and eat leftovers. I hear that there is more turkey waiting for us to eat, too!
Xena: Mommy’s also tired because her and Daddy stayed up late last night moving furniture. They wanted to move the dining table to the other side of the room so they could use the fireplace. Then they had to figure out how to arrange the rest of the furniture, make it look right, re-hang pictures, re-configure electronics, move stuff down from the attic and in from the utility shed. It wasn’t just exhausting watching all this, it was something I hear is called “disconcerting” for me. I kept asking Mommy to hold me, to assure me that everything was still ok in our world.
Some of that stuff they waited to do today. Even so, it was almost worse than missing supper time. I wanted us all to go to bed, and I wanted everything to be the same when I got up in the morning as how it had always been. Why did they have to change things? Everything in the room has been moved! Not only that, but the front room –the one they call the library — has been changed, too. At least my red chair is in the same place.
We hope all our friends in the US of A had a good Thanksgiving and had enough food.
Love and tail wags and full bellies, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Lucy: Is that because you make things up so often?
Xena: No! It’s because it’s, it’s…oh never mind, I just want to tell what happened. And it’s true. Every word of it. You’re not going to believe this. *hop, hop*
Mommy’s friend’s name is Laurie. Miss Laurie has Eefah (OK, so that’s not how it’s really spelled, but that’s what it sounds like, and I’m goin’ with it.) She’s a really nice Soft-coated Wheaten Terrier. Miss Laurie brings Eefah to be groomed every 6 weeks and her and Mommy talk the whole time. It’s something like 87 hours. This is Eefah after going home from being groomed.
Lucy: Xena, this falls in the “Lucy Ace Reporter on the Groom Beat” category. What does this have to do with the offi…
Xena: Shhh, I’m telling the story, Lucy. So anyhow, Miss Laurie brought a bottle of…wait for it…whiskey to work. Did I mention that Miss Laurie works in the office next to Mommy’s? Anyhoo, it was for some event they were having, or so it was said. Mommy wanted to try it. Scandal! Drinking alcohol at work! So the office – in fact, the whole building – got closed – and…
Lucy: Hold up. That is not why the building got closed!
Xena: Well, how do you know? How do you know that the whole story about the building being something called structurally unsound was the real reason. Maybe it was a cover up to the scandal? Maybe…
Tennessee Whiskey Bottle: Hold up there, you crazy schnauzer. Do you really think that one little ole sip of me could close the entire building and make everyone have to work somewhere else? Do you think that they would have spent thousands of dollars for months and months — before the “alleged” scandal happened — trying to quantify the damage from the soil shifting that caused cracks and mold in the building? You are one loco pup with a big imagination. I get around, and I hear things. It was the terrible drought followed by the torrential rains that finally did it in. That bad soil the synagogue was built on finally did a real bad shift and now it is unsafe to be in there. Now stop telling tall tails, or even short tales, you little terrier with a giant imagination, and maybe some day you’ll even be allowed a wee sip of me.
Xena: *bewildered look* Uh, as I was trying to say, the office is now in the bottom floor of our home. That area is something called an “in-law suite.” I wonder where the “out-laws” get to sleep, BOL! With no 40 minute commute, Mommy gets to sleep later and work in her casual clothes. Of course, that also means we get our breakfast later, and I don’t like that at all. I jump in bed and nudge under her neck, trying to get her up to feed me, er, us.
And Miss Brooke, who is the Office Assistant and only lives a few minutes away comes to our house to work. She got her own key and everything. We get to stay in the office with them all day and get pet and I lay in Mommy’s lap a lot. Miss Brooke really likes us both and says we are very good pups. And I don’t have to stay in my kennel any more. Of course, that also means I don’t get my treat puzzle, either. That’s another thing that falls in the not good column, but I really do like having Mommy home all day.
Lucy: And now Mom is home when we think we should get our supper. I remind her by poking her with my nose. Me and Xena, we used to synchronize our pokes to Dad to let us out and give us treats, with Xena standing under me. He says we look like a 2-headed Cerberus like that. Now he shuts his home office door. He says his leg was starting to bruise and he wasn’t getting any work done, either. One day last week I stuck my head under Mom’s leg while she was sitting in her work chair and tried to lift her up so she would come feed us. It surprised her, but it didn’t work.
Miss Brooke’s own dog, Hank, has started coming with her. Every time I see Hank, I try to make up with him, but he doesn’t seem to want to be friends. I’ll keep trying, like I did with Riley, and I know he will eventually be my friend.
Xena: Hank’s afraid of me. Mommy says it’s cause I bark at him. Isn’t that barkalishis? I’m only 15 pounds to his 45 pounds. He must know I’m a Schnauzer Warrior Princess. I invite him to play every time he is here, but he always says no way Hose Aye. My name isn’t Hose Aye. He must have me mixed up with some chihuahua he knows. Mommy got Angel Lexi’s bed from the attic for him to lay on. But when he’s not here on Wednesdays and Thursdays…
We keep Mommy and Miss Brooke company and give them moral support. All day.
We are Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess at work.
Mommy had the lighting wrong, the position wrong and the cloth wrong.
Lucy had pretty much everything wrong. Mostly her scaredy dog look. Then her bored look. Why couldn’t everyone be happy and cooperative like me?
We tried again without the cloth and this was the best Lucy would give us. I wasn’t smiling anymore. I was getting tired and wanted my supper. Didn’t someone once say, “After all, tomorrow’s another day?” (duh)
Xena: While we wait for my video from the Freestyle Trial, I wanted to catch you up on what is going on around home. Do you remember my warning to Riley? Do you remember that he still went ahead and deadied my blue bone? That was bad, but not like deading a real live stuffie. Look who we found, a victim of a Riley attack.
Do you remember that poor old Mr. Elephant was very close with Angel Lexi? Now his guts are falling out of his butt. This isn’t the first time Riley tried to kill him. We think it is because he mattered so much to Angel Lexi. Mr. Elephant had asked that, instead of staying in the big green basket on top of the mantel to stay safe, he be allowed to stay in my kennel. He was ok in there until one day we all forgot to shut my kennel door and Riley saw his chance.
Riley: You two can stop talking about me now. My Dad’s coming to get me.
Lucy: I saw something had to be done immediately if we were to save Mr. Elephant. After thinking for 87 seconds, I made my decision.
I ran to the pantry and got some Tennessee whiskey to steady my nerves and gave Mr. Elephant a drink of it, too. Xena had eaten sauerkraut last night, so I told her to turn around and gas him. Between that and the whiskey, he was out cold. I gathered up some tools and put on my operating mask. Time was ticking and I had to work fast and sure with precision instruments. I also had to be very careful not to close up his bee hind hole. I looked for his tail, but that villain Riley must have eaten it. His right leg was ripped halfway off, so I fixed it to the best of my ability.
About 87 minutes into the surgery, Xena noticed that Mr. Elephant was also missing an ear.
We hurriedly – but carefully – looked under all the furniture. Xena is small enough to be able to scoot under the couch and love seat, and did a thorough search. It was all to no avail. That fiend Riley must have eaten his ear, too. I finished working on his back end, and, with only a short pee and snack break, started closing up the gaping whole where his ear used to be. Xena! Quick! Lick the sweat off my forehead! Thanks!
Mr. Elephant is in the guest room sleeping it off and is expected to make a full recovery. His back leg isn’t exactly straight anymore, so he will have a limp. And we’ll have to remember to stand on his left side when we talk to him.
Riley has gone home with his Dad, and it’s time for a nap after an exhausting, yet satisfying, day. The patient will live.
Wags and licks, Lucy the Surgeon and Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior
Angel Lexi: On All Hallow’s Eve, I am back to play tricks and get treats. So tonight, I am reclaiming my blog. That’s right, my blog! This is the night before All Saint’s Day, the day where I will be especially remembered and prayers will go up for me and a candle lit to show I am still the light of the world and star of the stage to show my spirit still shines brightly in the hearts of those who love me. So tonight I will partake of a little mischief. I would rather partake of Kahlua and cream, but there is no cream in the refrigerator.
Lookout, Xena, here I come. You may eat raw meat every day, but I have not yet had my fill of blood. Eating kibble all my life has left me very, very thirsty. (in best Bela Lugosi voice) I come to suck your…oh forget it, that’s just too corny, even for me. Now, where was I? Tonight, Xena, you become like me!
Xena: You mean I am going to become an Angel?
Angel Lexi: No! You will be a Vampire Dog!
Xena: Aghhhh! Help!
Angel Lexi: There is no help for you. You will crave blood, fresh blood. Now go get some blood! (And bring me all the meat from the fridge.)
Xena: Oh, Mo-o-ommy… hold me, Mommy, hold me close bawahaha
Our Mom had a birthday and our Dad made a big deal about it.
He made her his special chicken dish and pasta and fresh broccoli. We didn’t beg at the table; we just wanted to stay close to Mom on her birthday. Honest.
Our Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill are crazy lots of fun. They sent her this happy birthday message.
Later in the week Mom’s friends at work had a little party for her and someone named Lester who had a birthday the same week. They sang happy birthday to her and Lester and had special sweets.
You might know that Mommy works at a place called a synagogue. I don’t like it cause I’m not allowed to go to work with her like I did at the Methodist church. But Mommy seems to like it anyhow, which I totally don’t understand. So, what I wanted to tell you, is their big sanctuary had been closed down for a long time, and finally got repaired. They had a big party to celebrate the dedication and reopening just before something called High Holy Days. Mommy and Daddy went to celebrate with them. They had something sacred called scrolls carried in from the chapel, where they had been worshiping after they couldn’t use the sanctuary. They passed the scrolls up the center aisle then danced around the sanctuary to music, carrying the scrolls, until they were passed up to the “ark” on the “bimah.” Mommy taught me those words. See, I could be a great help to her at work. Anyhow, someone took this picture.
That’s Daddy handing the sacred scroll to Mommy.
After that part was over, they ate and drank wine and visited with everyone and generally had a great time while we sat at home waiting for them.
Lucy: But we have been getting some good walks when the temperature cools off a bit in the early evening, just before twilight. Every day we get a nice walk is a special day. E”special”ly if we see people who pet me or if I almost get to chase a cat.
Dad asked why we don’t walk as nice on the leash as Riley (center). I pointed out that we also don’t spend 87 minutes every walk reading pee mail like Riley does.
I heard we’re all going to Aunty Jens and Uncle Bill’s this weekend. And I saw Mommy packaging our food. I’ll get Uncle Bill to hold me and see if Morty has gotten bigger than me.
And I’ll get to play with Ella, try to make friends with Morty again, and maybe even get another kiss from Achilles. So today is going to be another special day!
We can’t wait to get on the road! Kisses and wags from Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Lucy, and Riley, too.