My Surgery Update – and Where are the Labs?

I haven’t felt much like blogging lately, but Mom insisted that I let everyone know how I am doing. By folks’ hesitation when they went to ask about me, Mom thinks there was a nasty rumor going around the Methodist church where we still work that I was…well, not alive. She thinks she has squelled  that rumor and has everyone praying the right way for me!

Speaking of work, I was right back to work the first day after surgery. Can you believe it? Not even a day to recuperate (with sick pay). I ran everything from my bed behind Mom’s desk that day. I decided to give everyone a break and not growl. That was Wednesday. Thursday I felt a bit better and did a lot of therapy, especially on the folks coming in to get food vouchers for the Food Bank. One fellow in particular seemed to need it, so I kept flipping his hand for him to pet me and standing real close so he wouldn’t have to reach. After watching this for a while, Mom finally explained to him what was going on. He smiled real big and said yes, he probably did need that.

Mom asked me to post a picture of the yummy new soft food I am eating. She said she knows there is probably still stuff in it that people wouldn’t eat, but at least it doesn’t say “meat” and she can pronounce all the natural ingredients.


I don’t understand why Mom moved my stairs away from the bed. She mumbled something weird about me not being allowed to “jump.” Doesn’t she know I can’t get in bed with her without my stairs? Wednesday I was feeling good enough to protest this travesty, so I pawed at the side of the bed during the night and made sure Mom didn’t sleep. After work Thursday, Mom groggily pulled the mattress off the guest bed onto the floor and we slept together on it all night. That made me so happy that Mom slept there with me again last night. This is how it should be. I love Daddy, but he crowds us. I am glad Mom finally got her heart right and chose to sleep with me!

Mom has been a bit on edge lately. She says it is hard to wait for the labs.

I keep thinking, “Why on earth is Mom waiting for labs? Why are they coming? And why don’t they hurry up?”

Anyhow, I had to go back to the vet on Thursday because my right eye was full of pus. And the incision on my forehead was starting to seep. I got eye ointment and antibiotics. My eye is all cleared up now, but the area around the incision is swollen and still seeping. Mommy is going to take me back to the doc on Monday if the medicine doesn’t clear it up by then.

I guess that’s it for now. Catch you later.

Home from the Hospital

I’m home. It was a rough day. It started out with me not getting any breakfast. In the car, I suspected something was up.

Where are we REALLY going, Mom?

We ended up at the vets, in the bad room, not the good room where I get my acupuncture. Mom handed me over with empty promises and I sat in a hard cage until after lunch – which I didn’t get, either. My suspicions were then confirmed: the worst was yet to come. They made me go to sleep and cut off 4 bumps from my skin and a humongus bump from my gums. The gum invader had destroyed bone in my jaw, so 2 teeth came out with it.  Just when I had about given up on Mom, the nice lady at the vet took me out of the hard cage and carried me oh so gently out front. You will never guess who was there waiting for me…my Mom! I heard the nice lady tell Mommy what a sweet girl I am. 🙂 Oww, it hurts to smile. It hurts to do pretty much anything. I got some pain pills, and they help. Since everyone had starved me half to death all day, I couldn’t wait to get something to eat. Instead of mixing the special soft food Mom makes (pureed chicken and carrots) with my hard food, she put the puree in a bowl all by itself and warmed it. I couldn’t quite get it in my mouth without it hurting where the stitches are, so Mommy used a soft spatula and fed it all to me. Mmmm. 🙂 Oww. What Mom? This bite is from Noodle? Hi Boyfriend! 🙂 Oww.

0510161837e 0510161837aCan you see the stitches between my eyes? (You can click on the pictures to make them bigger.) I think I look like something Gentle Stitches would do. Mommy says I am still her Gorgeous Worgeous. 🙂 Oww. Daddy went to the store and you will never guess why! He came home with a whole bunch of Caesar’s dog food. OMD, it is soooo good. 🙂 Ow. Why have they been holding out on me all these years?

Anyhow, Mom says I need to tell you that at least part of the pathology report will be back in 48 hours. Depending on what it says, there may be another report from the bone that came out with the teeth a little later. I have to go back to the vet in 10 days for them to remove my stitches. Mommy promises she will stay with me for them to do that. I am not allowed to jump (ha, ha) or run or exert myself or eat anything hard or have a bath. At least there is one bright spot in all of this. 🙂 Oww.

Mommy said she got an extra day at her job at St. Luke where my friend Dave helps out since she doesn’t have the job at the church on the mountain anymore. She asked me if I want to go with her tomorrow and I am still thinking about it. I probably will. She said I don’t have to work hard, I can take it easy for a couple of weeks.

Oh, and before I take my evening nap, I wanted to thank everyone for their love and prayers and support. Bark on! (No I am not going to smile – it hurts.)
P.S. Noodle, I heard you were naughty last night and even made yourself sick worrying about me. Stay sweet and well for me, OK? And we will go on our excellent adventures. ❤



Prayers for Lexi, please

I went to my favorite vet this afternoon to get my acupuncture. The vet tech Angela and Dr. Karen love me and I love them back. Angela is like a treat dispensing machine – what’s not to love? Dr. Karen said I am her very bestest patient on the table. She also said I am sweet and beautiful and brave and that I look years younger than I am. 🙂

Mommy hadn’t brushed my teeth for almost a week, and when she looked in my mouth this morning she put the brush down without giving me my yummy toothpaste. She saw something she thought was a big abscess on my gums. The vet said because it has a large black area on the bottom of it, she believes it is a cars in oma. No, it is in my mouth, and I am relatively sure it isn’t a car. There is a picture of it at the end of the post; however, if you are squeamish like my Dad, you can just skip right over that to the comments section. In the meantime, here is a picture of me Saturday night after I finished my birthday dinner. Mom says it is a happy picture. 0507162014a

This is Lexi’s Mom (Amy) taking over here. Lexi goes early tomorrow morning to have the tumor removed, plus three more suspicious looking  tumors on her body. Please, POTP, prayers, good thoughts, all of that for Lexi, and I could use some too. I have had my cry and am trying to not be a wreck right now. I think it is times like these that we all appreciate each other the most.  Now, scroll down fast if you don’t want to see the gross picture of her gum tumor just behind her incisor.

Piper Update and Hodge Podge

Great news from the vet! We got he results from the biopsy on the tumor removed from Piper’s leg. Piper had a histeocytoma, which is bee nine. That means he does not have cancer. *happy dance* It fooled the vet because it is usually only very young dogs, like under the age of 2, who get these. They said it could grow back, but not to worry if it does. Whew! Piper and his folks and me and my Mom thank everyone for their happy thoughts, prayers POTP, well-wishes and concern. Auntie Jen is back to calling my cousin “the punk,” (as in “Hey, Punk, whatcha want for dinner?”)  so I know he is feeling good again.

It has been busy on the home front. Last weekend the boy stayed with us all weekend. Mommy always knew it was him running in the front doounspecifiedr because I would bark and he would smile and pet me. He’s a good kid, and understands it is just my job to bark at him. Then my peeps brother Adam came on Sunday and took over the room where the boy had been sleeping. I love Adam tons and he loves me tons too. I am his very favorite anipal, which is as it should be. I got to see my other peeps brother Andrew too! After everybody left, I got bored, so I barked at Dad until he agreed to be in a picture with me.

Last night I heard Mom ask Dad if he had people and anipals come stay with him before he met her. He gave a resounding, “No!” Mom said this has happened with her for most of her adult life, and she enjoys it. Mom then got quiet for a moment, and said, “This had to be a big adjustment for you – I love you soooo much!” Aw. To put this in perspective, Auntie Jen lived with us all for a year, brother Andrew, Jentry and The Boy lived with us for two years, my schnauzer cousins Piper and Milo lived with us for a year after Auntie Jen moved out, and there have been plenty of drop ins in between. That is just since Mom and Dad got married in 2008, BOL! Because Dad loves all the peeps and anipals who have also called our house home, he hasn’t minded a bit.

Moving on… Yesterday Dad took me for another acupuncture treat mint because my hip was starting to bother me again. I love going to see Dr. Karen, and I love my treat mints – they make me feel so much better. I get to go back next Friday.

Hallway ceiling at children's hospital
Hallway ceiling at children’s hospital

Today Mom took me to the children’s hospital to therapize the sick and hurting kids. There weren’t as many today, which is good. I was sitting in the bed with one 5 year old boy and he said, “Look Mommy, the doggy likes me. It is smiling at me.” Now, I don’t like being called an “it” but I am glad I made it, er him, happy! Mommy took a picture of the ceiling at the hospital – yes, she claims she meant to do that, BOL! Pretty cool, huh?


Update Post Surgery

Piper and Auntie Jen
                  Piper and Auntie Jen

Piper is home after getting the tumor removed from his right back leg. Mom said some words like round cells and vascular, whatever that means. He is in pain, which makes my Auntie Jen also hurt.

Mommy went over and held Pipes and sang to him this evening, the same way she did me after my paw surgery early this spring. She said it calmed Pipe-Pipe, just like it did me. His Momma had to go back to work, so Mom stayed with him until his Dad got home tonight.

Even though Piper gets two shots a day for diabetes, his “sugar” is all over the charts, so he will have to go back to get an all day glucose test done. The doc should have his biopsy results by then.

And they aren’t sure if Piper’s heart medicine is doing the trick for his heart murmur.

His Momma and Daddy really appreciate all the POTP, prayers, and healing thoughts.

Update on POTP for Piper

Piper’s vet appointment today was at 2:00. The doc did a skin cell scraping (that doesn’t hurt) and said they were flat cells. She explained that those are very fast growing cells – we knew that lump wasn’t there April 2 when Piper’s Mom got married – and the cells might be cancer, or might not. The only way to know for sure is to remove the lump and send it off for biopsy. My sweet cousin is spending the night at the vet clinic and is having his surgery tomorrow. Please continue the POTP for Piper, and also for his mother, my Auntie Jen. She is worried and will be an absolute basket case if anything happens to Piper – just like my Mom would be for me. We love Piper lots and lots. Thank you to everyone who responded to my first post today with prayers and well wishes and healing thoughts. And thanks to those who didn’t respond but are keeping a good outcome in mind for Piper. We are believing for the best.

Piper, my sweet cousin and friend.
Piper.  Isn’t he handsome?

I’m Home from the Vet – Well, most of me is

This has definitely not been the best day of my life. First Dad refused to give me my brekkies. Then Mom left me at the vet office and I got stuck in a cage. Next, someone stuck a needle in my arm and stole my blood. Then the vet called my Mom. I was hoping Mom would say, “Oh, I will be right there to get my precious darling Lexi.” Nope. When the vet called her two more times, I started to get worried. That didn’t last long – it’s hard to worry when you are first sedated, then knocked out by something running into your vein. While I was asleep the doc stole five of my teeth – Five! In one of the phone calls, he had told Mom that “at my age” there could be bone loss leading to loose teeth, but he wouldn’t know until he got the plaque off. Even though they all felt firmly anchored, the plaque sometimes holds them in place. So why did he take the plaque off?  Grrr. Ow, that hurt.

Remember that lump on my paw? Refresher here: The doc found another lump between my paw pads on the same foot. Since it wasn’t directly beneath the lump on the top of my foot, he wasn’t sure if it was two separate tumors. He was concerned because the one on the top had grown so quickly.  When the doc got in there with his knife he realized that the one on the bottom had pushed up the thin skin between my toes and caused the one on the top. Or something like that. When he got them off he saw that even though the skin on them was thick, the inside was filled with a creamy liquid. He told Mom on his fourth phone call that it was a good sign and didn’t recommend spending the money on a biopsy. Finally, Dad picked me up and brought me home to Mommy.


While Daddy went back out to get my pain medicine, Mommy held me and rocked me and sang me to sleep. You know I was in pain to let her do that. But it was strangely comforting. During that time, Dad sent Mom a text:

I can’t understand why he still isn’t home with my pain medicine!

My blood work was mostly good, but my liver enzymes were “off the chart” high. Mom told the doc that she had warned me not to drink. Ha, ha. Silly Mommy, I have already gone through the 4 step program for Kahlua and Cream.

Step 1: I ask for it.

Step 2: Mom says No.

Step 3: Mom and Dad start calling it “special K”, like I don’t know what they mean.

Step 4: They stop buying special K. Drat.

Mom asked for a copy of the bw:

Dr. Smith said this can be a sign of Cushings, but I had a Cushings test a year or two ago because those same levels were high then, and it came back negative. I don’t have any of what’s called “clinical signs,” either. To help my liver, Mommy bought Milk Thistle. Dr. Karen is my acupuncturist, and she said this will help bring the ALKP level down.  I hope I get it in something good, like butter, or peanut butter or hamburger. Mmm.

Daddy’s home. Finally! Time to take my pain meds. I wonder what took him so long…

POTP for the Paw

Nothing much going on around here. Last Wednesday I had my acupuncture because my hip was starting to hurt again. Then Dad took me up the mountain so I could visit with Mom and have lunch with my friend Carrie. On the way home after work we stopped at another church where Mom and Dad are starting to go on Sundays. Daddy met us at the door and introduced me to Pastor Mark. Pastor Mark welcomed me into his office and told me to feel free to explore while he talked to my folks. After about an hour I knew it was past my suppertime so I started to remind Mom. I had to remind her loudly. She finally got the hint and we all headed home.

Thursday, before going to the children’s hospital, I stopped by work and got my treat from my friend Dave. Then I went on to the hospital, saw my friend Lois who always gives me a treat when I get there, and therapized some kids and nurses and a doctor or two. My friend Beth had a treat for me when I went back to work with Mom.

Friday, I really goofed up. I thought Mom wanted me to go downstairs to get groomed, so I kept running away from her. She finally gave up – and left without me! Later I found out that I had been invited to a birthday party!! I still can’t believe Mom went without me!! Happy birthday Jentry. I hope you had fun without me. I know it would have been better if I had been there. Oh, what, Mom? There was no food, not even cake? Well, I am sure Jentry had plenty of fun without me there.

This morning I got groomed. I knew I was picking up grooming vibes. Tomorrow is my teeth-cleaning-at-the vet day. They will do blood work first to make sure it is ok to help me go to sleep while they clean my teeth really good.  The teeth cleaning has been scheduled for a while. Now I also have to have my paw checked. I have had a tiny pink lump on my front left paw for a long time. Mom caught me licking that paw last night and of course she had to stick her nose in and see why I was licking. This is what she saw:

Exhibit A
Exhibit A

You can’t tell real well from this picture, but it is a raised lump. By Mom’s reaction, I sure hope it isn’t anything bad. I sure hope I don’t end up having to wear a cone of shame. I sure hope I don’t lose my paw! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! POTP for me, please.

A Happy Riddle

Riddle: What does a rag + a gauze pad + duck tape + a baby sock + safety pins=?

                        NO MORE COLLAR OF SHAME

Dad took me for my wonderful acupuncture treatment today. Dr Karen, who is my favorite vet in the whole world, said the wound where my nail was removed was slightly infected. She put me on antibiotics which also doubled as the second round of antibiotics for the bacteria giving me bad breath. Dad said we couldn’t drive all the way to Illinois with my breath like that. My BFF Dr. Karen also said I could lick my wound a little and it would be ok, but not a lot. I am like a sugar addict with a bowl of frosting when I start licking. A little is never enough.

Mom knows how much I hate the lampshade thingie, so she thought up this scheme to make it easy to change out the dressing without me losing all the hair on my right lower leg. Yes, she has had to cut the hair from the duck tape every time she changed the dressing, which she claims is why she started making me wear the dreaded e-collar.  Mom permanently (well, it sure does seem permanent) attached a soft rag around my leg just above the knee with white duck tape. Then she pulled a pink striped baby sock that she found at the Dollar Tree (2 sets of 2 sock for $1 – go wild Mom!) over the gauze square that she had placed around the toe end of my foot. Then she pulled the baby sock up to the rag and safety pinned it in place. Now all she has to do is unpin the sock to change the gauze. I got it off in the first hour when Mom used regular paper tape to attach the rag to my hair. So we are back to white duck tape. Or is it duct tape? Franklin, will you weigh in on this? Franklin?

So, a trip to Illinois. Dad’s rude comment was the first and last I have heard about a trip. I love trips. My Grandma Sandy lives in Illinois. I will let you know more when I get the low-down.

Toenail Troubles: Blood everywhere

If you are squeamish about b-l-o-o-d, then skip the parts I tell you to skip. Remember, I warned you.

I have been getting treated for my left hip having dysplasia. B12 shots, acupuncture, hydrotherapy, all good. I was starting to feel much better and not even limping, then I started limping on my right foot and licking it incessantly. Mom couldn’t see anything wrong with it, but we both knew it hurt or I wouldn’t be licking it. Finally, she saw that my middle toenail was jutting out at an odd angle. She trimmed it back a little so it wasn’t hitting the floor when I walked and that helped, but not enough. Alert, skip the next paragraph if you are faint of heart (FoH).

This morning started out with me tracking blood all over the kitchen floor. Other places too, but no one noticed until I hit the white tile floor.

You FoH people can start reading again.

Mom put a cheap, disposable plastic glove over my foot, then tied a cheap green bandana – that I refused to wear around my neck – around the glove. She called the new vet and we got the first appointment of the day. I was in the car about 3 seconds before I had that horrible glove-bandana contraption off and was back to licking it. Pretty soon not only my breath but the whole car smelled like blood. Oops, sorry, forgot to give the warning.

We got the the vet’s office and a different doctor, Dr. Smith, saw me. Let me add here that when Mom saw the vet tech walk in the room with the glass stick, Mom said, “No, I don’t think Lexi will need her temperature taken today. Let’s try to keep this a good place for her to come.” Yay, Mommy! While we waited for the vet to come in, Mom explained to me that he might have to do something that would hurt a lot, but it would be quick and my foot wouldn’t hurt any more after that.

This next part might be a bit much for you FoH folks. Just sayin’, proceed at your own risk. Hey, there’s a nice picture at the bottom!

The doc examined my nail and told Mom it was only hanging on by a thread, or the quick, or something like that, and he would have to pull it off. Mom said he could get her from the waiting room when he was done and she deserted me. I knew she was waiting to hear my scream, so I just gritted my teeth and didn’t make a sound. I waited for my revenge, which came as soon as the vet let go of my foot. I shook it as hard as I could and blood sprayed all over the entire room. Ha, ha, ha. That’ll teach them. They had to clean everything before they could go get Mom and tell her I was ready to go.

OK, you FoH folks. You can finish reading now.

I went to work with my foot all bandaged up. They even put a little no-slip pad on the bottom to keep me from, well, from slipping. Tonight Mom had to take it off to check it and re-wrap it. She didn’t do as good of a job, but I guess that’s cause they are professionals. She even lost the tape sometime between removing the old wrap, spraying cold water on my poor foot to remove the dried b-l-o-o-d, towel drying it, and wrapping it again. Now I have a layer of gauze, a layer of vet wrap, and a layer of white duck tape. Sheesh.

Does this look like a happy schnauzer to you?

Snitch at work and the pin cushion schnauzer

At St. Timothy’s where Mom and I work three days a week there are a man, Joe, and his wonderful wife, Anne. Anne loves me and fusses over me every Wednesday when I see her after her yoga class. Joe used to be my friend. Then today happened. It started out innocent enough with him popping his head in my our office and saying, “Hey Amy – that’s my Mom’s other name – there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I had to coax Lexi to follow me back to the church the other day.” Now imagine Mom furrowing her brow and looking very puzzled. Joe continues, “I was working across the street and saw her hoofing down the sidewalk toward the rental house. She was even on the road for a bit. So I came over and got her to follow me back.” At this point imagine Mom aka Amy throwing her hand across her heart and gaping like a fish out of water. I have always had the run of the church so I can go visit whomever I want. Mom has only caught me outside once when the kitchen door got left open and I was sunning myself in the grass. Caught me is the operative phrase here.  I think I am now on restriction, whatever that is. Who would have thought my ex-friend Joe was such a big snitch!

We left work early to go to my appointment at a new vet. Everyone was very nice to me there, and no one stuck a glass stick up my patootie. I’ve even lost a few more ounces. The vet’s name is Karen, which I found out when she came in the room and she and Mom started talking like old friends.  I guess that is because they worked together long before I was born and were very glad to see each other again. The vet tech is Angela. I especially like Angela: she fed me tiny pieces of treats while I stood on the table. It was so great that I didn’t even notice what was happening to me.

Lexi the Pin Cuhion
                                    Lexi the Pin Cushion
                  I’m in a sticky situation here.


Busy weekend, fun weekend

I know everyone has been waiting to find out how my weekend went after all the build-up. On Friday I discovered that the air vent under my kitchen chair tastes really good.

Yummy! I hope my tongue doesn't get stuck.
Yummy! I hope my tongue doesn’t get stuck.

It did rain on Saturday, so we slept in before going to my Auntie Jen’s to visit and help with the yard sale which was now a garage sale. Mom sold enough to cover the gas there and home, but that was all. The day was more about visiting with good friends. I was happy to see my schnauzer cousin Piper, my enthusiasm only dampened when we all got left while Mom and Auntie Jen went wedding dress shopping. Piper is going to have a new Daddy. I tried to tell him how great that is, but he insisted he already loved his Daddy-to-be and didn’t need to be told. I hate it when Piper acts like he knows as much as me.

Mommy couldn’t talk Dad out of helping with the preparations at church on Sunday, but they compromised. The Boy stayed overnight with us, and me and him and Mom met Dad down at the church so we could all go to Rocktoberfest together.

1011151120 1011151202

See Dad holding me? He used me for a prop during his first announcements. I get no respect. Hey, maybe this will be the picture for the billboards next year! The weather was perfect – no rain and temperatures in the high sixties and low seventies. I walked the trails and read everybody’s stories. We went really slow so that I didn’t have to miss much. Back at the pavilion I barked at Mom until she picked me up and danced with me. I love to dance, even if it is with Mom holding me in her arms. Lots of people spoke to me and pet me. I was very popular. I decided I didn’t want any beer today, but cleaned up all the food that got dropped on the floor and in the grass and bushes. I got a bit bored toward the end of the day so I decided to sing from the sidelines with the band. I would have joined them up front, except Mom had a good hold on my leash. When the song was done the band members tipped their hats and thanked me for the solo.

Because I had done such a good job singing, several children came over to pet me. One boy who was maybe seven or eight years old seemed hesitant to touch me. So what did I do? I climbed in his lap, pushed him over onto his back and stood on him. When he rolled to the side I climbed back on him. Then he rolled to the other side and I did the same thing. He was smiling and started laughing because he figured out I was playing a game with him. He was no longer afraid. Mission accomplished.

Yep it was a great end to a good day and a fun weekend. Tomorrow I am going to work with Mommy to the church on the  hill. After that we are going to a different vet for a consultation. This vet practice does something called holistic medicine, stuff like cold laser therapy and acupuncture. I would be up for a nice massage…

It’s been a busy weekend and I am ready for my night-night treat and bed. Sweet dreams to all.



When losing is good and trouble at the vets

I ended up going back to see my doctor on Friday because my hip is still hurting a lot. I was sitting in the waiting room waiting for the inevitable torture when a dog at least twice my size ran out of an exam room, heading straight to me. I growled to say, “Stay out of my space,” and she growled back and jumped me. Mom risked life and limb to save me. Literally. She stuck her leg between us and broke up the fight. It took about two seconds for my adrenaline to drop back to normal and I started to shake. The dog’s name was Grace. I heard her people yelling, “Grace, Grace, stop!”  My vet came over and sat down with me. She said it was her fault for opening the door and letting Grace loose. Mom looked at everybody and said, “Shame on you all for letting Grace loose in the waiting room.” Everyone sort of hung their heads and asked again about my welfare. Of course I was fine, just a bit shaken up, but feeling better now that Grace was in trouble, her people were in trouble, the vet was in trouble and I was being “poor babied.” Unfortunately it didn’t get me out of the vet appointment, but at least no one stuck a glass stick up my patootie this time.

The vet doubled up on my pain meds and prescribed an anti-inflammatory if I seem to be having an especially bad day. She also sent home with us some antibiotics to kill the bacteria in my mouth. Mom said my mouth was starting to smell like something had crawled in there and died. Eeww.

Mom asked about surgery on my hip, like a doggie hip replacement or something. Dr. Poston said she could do surgery on my femural head – I think that is the top of the bone going into my hip – but it should be a last resort. She did say my age would not be a factor, but she wants us to try everything else first, including chiropractics, cold laser therapy and herbal medicines. We know a vet in Chattanooga who does those things, except for the chiropractics. My chiro just retired, but Mom is going to beg her to treat me, even if she doesn’t want to treat people any more. I have one more shot of adequin for today and then no more for a month. That’s what they give race horses, you know. Mommy says I am special. Mommy also has to keep a diary of what she is doing to help me and if it is helping. I can only get or do one different thing at a time so we know what is helping – or not.

The good news is that I lost – two and a half pounds, that is. I owe it all to my green bean diet. No more canned dog food for me, huh uh! I get green beans with my kibble now, and I don’t care if they are from a can, I love them and I love the juice they are in! I only get the salt-free variety. I lick my bowl clean and then go back and lick it again to be sure. For treats I get fresh green beans. Today I helped Mom cook up carrot slices for my kibble topping. I ate the pointy ends of the  fresh carrots. That’s helping, isn’t it?

I hang out a lot in the kitchen . I am a good helper.
I hang out a lot in the kitchen . I am a good helper.
My medicines and special veggies and water
My medicines and special veggies and water. And my diary. And tooth cleaning thingies.

A Visit to the Vet

Mom gave me a bath early this morning, then she took me to the doctor. Don’t they do enough nasty things to you without having to get a bath first? Yes, the requisite glass stick was stuck up the you-know-what. Then the nice lady doctor checked my back leg, driver’s side, that has been bothering me for a long time. It goes out from under me sometimes, and I have trouble jumping up on the furniture and, worst of all, my kitchen table chair. Mom has been cleaning yellow discharge from right eye, so she checked that too and said the retina thing looked very good. She listened to my heart and said it sounded strong.  I have started shaking my head and scratching at my left ear, so she looked in it, too.  The lady doc said she wanted to take an expensive x-ray of my leg, and the extra benefit of it was that she could see all my internal organs, too. Eewww. That just sounds gross, and I have no idea why Mom was so enthusiastic about it.

Results: I have one luxated patella. Dr. Sally said it was not genetic or they would both be like that. More likely, I injured it at some point in the past, and neither Mom nor I even knew about it at the time. It was probably when I jumped off the kitchen counter onto the  hard tile floor. Don’t ask. Or it could have been when I jumped off the dining room table. Don’t ask. Or when Mom dropped me on my head in a store onto the hard concrete floor when I was eight weeks old. Oh wait, I jumped out of the buggy and landed on my head. Nope, that didn’t hurt my leg. Whatever caused it, it’s there and not going away.

In the xray she also saw a stone in my bladder. I did not eat any stones, I promise. My heart and my liver are slightly enlarged. So now what?

Dr. Sally said the number one thing that would help everything is for me to….are you ready for this….lose weight. Four or five pounds.

This can't be right!
This can’t be right!

Mom has a lot to do to take care of me now:
1. Eyes and ears are probably allergies, so she got a medicine like Claritin that I have to take every day. That means more treats, like coconut oil! I can see I am getting around this diet already. She also has to put special drops in my ears every day.
2. Because of the stone in my bladder I can now only drink distilled water. I wonder if that is like moonshine. Mom bought a gallon jug of it, then went back and got two more gallons to take to each of our work places. I have my very own water!

So this is my new water?
So this is my new water?
Are you sure this is ok to drink?
Are you sure this is ok to drink?











Mom has to start giving me a shot of adequin in my back leg twice a week. She said it cost more than the x-rays, but I am worth it. 🙂 After a month I get it in one month, then every three months. I hope Mom can remember all this. I am to keep taking my fish oil pill and my dasuquin, which are both good for my internal organs as well as my joints. And they taste good, so I still have those treats, too. I am supposed to go on walks or swim a lot to keep building up the muscles in that leg. Not to procrastinate, we left the vet and went on two short walks on the way home. The temperature was in the 80’s with high humidity so we couldn’t walk for too long. Pooh, who needs to exercise when I can have fun walking? I must have read a dozen different stories along the way.

To help my heart and liver, I am not allowed to drink alcohol – that’s ok, I have my very own non-alcoholic Kahlua. But because I have to lose weight I am not allowed to have that sugary goodness. Again, with the weight loss thing. Daddy said the vet has a stamp  for my chart that says, “lose five pounds” that she uses every time I go to see her. That is so not funny, Dad.

Oh, and I have plaque on my teeth. Dr. Sally: “Didn’t I give you a tool to remove the plaque from Lexi’s teeth.” Mom, looking sheepish: “Yes, but I’m not good at it. I will try again.” Dr. Sally: “If I have to do a dental, I will remove the big fatty tumor on her chest at the same time.” So now they are planning a chest reduction. OMD, what is next?

Annual Check-up

I went to the vet (unwillingly) and got my yearly exams and vaccinations today. The doc also talked Mom into getting a HW test done. It was negative. I could have told them that – I have a strong, worm-free heart. They also stuck that glass stick up my patooty and used what came out for a fecal. No worms. I could have told them that – I have a strong, worm-free colon. When we were done, the vet gave my Mom a piece of birthday cake. When Dr. Poston saw Mom looking at me with cake on her spoon, she said, “You’d better not let me see you give her any of that,” to which Mom replied, “Then you’d better shut your eyes.” Go, Mom! (I also got Arby’s curly fries on the way home.)

I am Lexi, the healthy, worm-free schnauzer.