Jailed, Drugged and Hung

Hiya, Hiya, Chia here. What a day Monday was! Mom thinks I have a behavioral disorder. I can’t seem to help myself sometimes when I see Lucy. And she’s my BFF! But my tail curls and stiffens, well, my whole body stiffens. Then I sound like I have Tourrette Syndrome. Hey, maybe that’s my disorder! The Cee Bee Dee oil does help some, but it hadn’t had time to kick in when I attacked Lucy in Dad’s office while he was in there working. Lucy, really sick of the whole thing, attacked back, and Dad had an awful time getting us apart. Don’t worry, no one got hurt. At least that time.

After Mom released me from jail, er, my kennel, she held me like a baby and stroked me softly and murmured sweet things to me and my body relaxed and my eyes started closing. We stayed like that for a long time.

A little later in the morning it happened again out on the back porch where both my brothers, Adam and Andrew, were and Mom came running out, too. Mom and Andrew both took a “hit” by one of our teeth, but their blue jeans protected their legs. Even Lucy got in trouble that time.

Anyhoo, I was tried and convicted without a jury of my peers or even anyone to bark up in my defense, so back into jail I went. I was subsequently drugged with something a bit stronger than Cee Bee Dee oil. I think it was in the hamburger Mom tossed me through the jail bars. I shoulda known, but who can resist hamburger meat, right?

You absolutely will not believe what happened a while later, early in the afternoon. The jailer released me for Brother Andrew and Mom to take me downstairs, wrap me in a sling, and hang me. I immediately got the stupid cat muzzle off, pulled my front legs out of the sling and started sliding to the floor, but Mom caught me. First escape attempt thwarted. Then the black muzzle went on, and it’s harder to get off. Then, brother Andrew held my feet and head and I could barely move. Then Mom attacked me with a nail dremel. Oh. My. Dog. The torture!

Riley: This is fascinating. Did Mom Amy hurt you with the dremel?

Chia: She hurt me all right. She hurt my feelings. So when she released me and took me back upstairs, I went after Lucy again.

Riley: Don’t do the crime if you can’t serve the crime, little sis.

That time wasn’t so bad. I got put outside until dinner time. After dinner I went in the front room and laid down on the loveseat right next to Lucy. She said she forgave me and laid her head across my back.

Riley: Lucy’s a good friend. You should treat her right.

Chia; Yep, she is. But just before bedtime…

Riley: Please don’t tell me you did it again…aren’t you ashamed to even admit it?

Chia: Well, yes, but tell the truth and shame the devil, right? So anyhow, I went off on Lucy back in Dad’s office again while he was on the phone. So I’m back on the chain gang. Er, I mean, back in my kennel for the night.