Video Star

I now star in my very own video on You Tube. My Dad made the video. It is inspirational, as well as very good because, well, because I am the star.

Riley Visited Us

Lucy here. Riley was my first boyfriend. We had some really good times together. Then, about a year ago (which, as you know, is something like seven years to us dogs), he and Andrew went away and the next time I saw him he wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Never any explanation. I’d just been dumped. Mom said it was  because Riley knew he wasn’t going to see me and was protecting his heart. But what about my heart?

Then, out of the blue (or gray, really, since it was raining), Riley came back. He gave me the ugly face at first, but I think it is because his folks were eating and he didn’t want me to get his portion. A little later he wagged his tail at me and said we could be friends again. That made me feel good. He has put back on all the weight that he didn’t need to lose and his furs are shiny and healthy-looking again. Even though his muzzle has gotten a bit gray, he looks so handsome, just like he used to.

Brother Andrew and our Jentry came and visited too. It has been way too long. I sat near them all evening until they had to leave. Riley promised to come back to visit again soon. Maybe next time we can run and play outside, just like old times. That sure would be fun.

Love and waggy tails, Lucy

Grooming with Mom – Landry, Dallas and Bonnie Blue

Hi folks! This is Lucy Ace Reporter on the Groom Beat. Today I am here to tell you about three of the worst messes my Mom has groomed, all from the same owner.

This is the “before” picture of Landry, an 8-year-old shih tzu.Landry was at the vet in October, and you can see on his back where the techs there tried to shave him down. They said they couldn’t do any more and stopped. From October to now, that hair has never grown. When he came to Mom, his legs, tail, ears and face were completely matted, some clear down to the skin. Urine and feces were in his back leg hair. Landry didn’t want groomed, and he kept trying to bite Mom. Even a muzzle wasn’t enough – he was going crazy. Super Hero Dad to the rescue! Dad held Landry while Mom shaved him all over, even his face. He got a good bath and ended up looking like this. Landry seemed much happier by this point. You can sorta see how overweight Landry is. He can hardly stand up. Mom thinks it’s his thyroid, especially with the hair not growing on his back, and asked his Mom to get him checked.

Mom’s next challenge was Dallas, a 12-year-old Yorkie, who is diabetic. She forgot to get a before pic, but he looked something like this. Most of Dallas’ hair wasn’t as matted as Landry’s except for his legs. Mom had to muzzle him to shave his legs and feet, but Super Hero Dad did not have to be called. You can’t really tell from his “after” picture, but Dallas is also very overweight.

The final dog of the trio is a 10-year-old Pomeranian, Bonnie Blue. Let’s just get right to her “before” picture.Mom brushed Bonnie for a whole hour, using a dematter, a horse curry comb, and a slicker brush. She thinks she brushed enough hair off to make another dog. Bonnie also had to be muzzled for her feet with Super Hero Dad holding her, too.I don’t know if I am supposed to say when Mom has favorites, but I am going to tell this time. Bonnie Blue stole Mom’s heart. Doesn’t she look happy after her groom? She even gave Mom a thank you kiss on the nose. Unfortunately, under all that clean fur is another fat, er, overweight dog.

Mom – and especially Dad – hope the lady brings Landry, Dallas and Bonnie Blue back before they get in such bad condition again.

This is Lucy, Ace Reporter on the Groom Beat, signing off

 

 

From Pupdates to Ludwig Missing

WHERE WERE MOM AND DAD

Xena: Hi Everyone! As we mentioned not long ago, Miss Christy came and stayed with us while Mom and Dad took off without us for two whole nights. I showed her my favorite spot. Then I showed her how fearless I am when I play-attack Lucy. 

Miss Christy said I am as spunky as ever! Oh yeah, we found out that Mommy and Daddy went to a church convention. Here they are with a flat dude. The flat dude’s  name is the Most Reverend Michael Curry. Some of you may might have heard of him. Mommy said she missed us me us very much and the first thing she did when she got home was take us for a nice walk.

FREESTYLE

Xena: I know you have been waiting to see another video of me dancing Freestyle. This one is from my second lesson. 

Since this lesson, I have gotten much better at walking close to Mommy’s legs. She shows me what she wants by holding a wooden spoon with almond butter on it down next to her leg when she walks. Tricky Mommy, but I don’t care. It tastes great and wait ’til you see my next video!

Lucy: Can I go next, Xena?
Xena: No, it’s still my turn.

XENA STANDS UP FOR HERSELF

I mentioned a little while back that I stood up to 2 dogs and They. Backed. Down.  I know y’all have been waiting to hear that story. The first “incident” was when Peyton and Slider’s folks came to pick them up after being groomed. Mommy let me go outside with everybody and while I was trying to make friends Peyton growled and lunged at me. You can see in this picture that Mommy has used her as a guard dog, so I should have been more cautious.Anyhoo, I lunged right back at her. We never actually touched, but I was ready. Her Mom said no one has ever stood up to her before, so Peyton didn’t know what to do and just quit.  The second time was with the dog sitting next to me and Mommy at Freestyle class. We don’t have a picture of this dog, but he is the typical, crazed Border Collie. He was already worked up because he wanted to do Agility instead of Freestyle, then he kept starring at a little girl there, and finally he snarled at me. I stood up and lunged and he pulled away. *wipes paws* That  took care of that!

CHRISTMAS TREE

Xena: Maybe you remember that our tree was still up the beginning of January. I started placing bets on if it would come down before Valentine’s Day, and if so, by how many days.

Lucy: Who were you betting with, Xena?

Xena: Myself. That way I was sure to win. Anyhoo, it’s gone. It disappeared the first week of February. I looked out the window to see if it was in the front yard, but I couldn’t spot it. I also ran through the side woods to try to find it, but I couldn’t smell it anywhere. And I got in trouble for running out of the yard.This red leather chair took over the space. No matter. I won the bet. I won the bet, Mommy. Give me a treat.

LUCY AND THE KENNEL

 

Lucy: Everyone was very kind to me when I let y’all know what I got for my birthday – a jail cell. I am very happy to report that I was so good after I saw it that Mommy never had the heart to make me stay in it, not even when both she and Dad left the house. She kept the door open so I could go in and explore, but why would I want to do that?

It is now folded up and leaning against the wall. That was a better present!

MISSING FRIENDS

Xena: That reminds me, I haven’t seen my friends, Brownie Bear or Ludwig or Rainbow Bear or even little Sweetheart Bear for 87 weeks.

Lucy: How on earth did my prison remind you of them?

Xena: They spent a lot of time hanging out in my kennel. Anyhoo, do you know where they are, Lucy?

Lucy: I heard they are hibernating in the guest closet for the winter. Bears do that you know. Of course, Winter Bear is still awake and playing in your kennel ’cause he’s a winter bear.

Xena: But Ludwig’s not a bear…where is he?

Lucy: He’s supposed to be guarding the bears while they sleep all winter. Let’s go take a peek. Xena: HEY YOU BEARS, WHY ARE Y’ALL SLEEPING AND WHERE’S LUDWIG?

Lucy: Shhhhhh Xena, don’t wake them up or they’ll be grumpy. But where is Ludwig?

Xena: *whispering* Maybe he got hungry and went out for a burger and fries.

2 days later

Xena: Hey Lucy, I just checked and Ludwig is still gone. I hope he didn’t get lost. Or eaten by a coyote. Or squished on the road. Or, or… Mommy! Call the Missing Ludwig Po-Po’s and give them Ludwig’s picture. We can post it on all the trees and telephone poles, too.To be continued…

I am Xena the BRAVE Schnauzer Warrior Princess

and I am Lucy the umm, well, the Lovable

My First Valentine

I got so excited about Valentine’s Day this year that I made my honey a pretty card with my picture on it and sent it to him early. Here it is. Do you see my best happy face? I hope my pose isn’t too provocative. I sure do hope BB likes my card. I made it with love.

Look what Big Boy sent me! He even put me in a heart. ❤  Don’t we look like we belong together?Yes, Big Boy! I will be your Valentine!!

Lots of love, Lucy

Stuck

As Mommy was leaving for work today she gave me my new treat puzzle that I love to play with. It didn’t  take me even 87 milliseconds to solve that puzzle and gobble up all the treats. That’s when I noticed that Rudy and Jen-Jen Bear didn’t make it into my kennel before Mommy closed and locked the door. I really tried to help them. I was able to get one of Jen-Jen’s legs in, but she yelled that it hurt, so I had to stop. Rudy, do you want me to try to help you get in the crate with me?

Rudy: Uh, no thanks. I’ll just wait here until your Mom gets back.

Jen-Jen Bear: I’m stuck. You’re not going to just leave me stuck like this, are you, Xexe? All the blood is rushing to my head and my leg’s starting to go numb.Uh, yep. Don’t worry, I’ll carry you around with me the rest of the evening after Mommy gets home. Monkey and Winter Bear are in here with me, so I’m just going to play with them for a while. Then we’ll all take a nap. You know I would come out there and help you but…Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

 

Friday Food for Thought

Hi everyone, Lucy here, Ace Reporter on the Food for Thought beat. Today we’ll talk about Dangerous Oils!  I understand that cars run on motor oils and machine parts use lubricating oils. Now here’s what’s going to blow your mind. Normally, we would think about replacing dangerous fats with healthy oils, right? Well, Mom and I just found out that’s backwards. Instead, we learned how to Replace Dangerous Oils with Healthy Fats! I don’t think Xena knows how, though, ’cause she was too busy stealing my bully horn when we were learning about this.

 

Did you know that the balance between Omega 6 and Omega 3 oils is super-important for both peeps and us 4-leggers? Yep, it’s true. I just learned how to used bullet points, so I am going to use bullets. Please don’t be alarmed; they aren’t real bullets and won’t hurt you (like some oils will). Here’s my bulleted list of some problems that can be caused or helped, depending on the oils or fats you eat.

• diabetes
• cardiovascular disease
• rheumatoid arthritis
• cancer
• depression
• Alzheimer’s
• and more (don’t you just love the “and more”? It leaves this wide open!)

Anyhoo, being the helpful ace reporter that I am, I’ve got you a list of good fats:

•Grass fed butter — Raw, organic butter made from healthy grass fed cows’ milk contains many valuable nutrients, including vitamins A, D, E and K2. Furthermore, it contains various minerals and antioxidants that support good health.

•Coconut oil — This is supposed to be the best cooking oil. It has a number of valuable health benefits, including a positive effect on your heart and antimicrobial properties. It’s also a great source of energy, thanks to its medium-chain fatty acids (MCFAs). When consumed, the MCFAs are digested and converted by your liver into energy that you can immediately use. Coconut oil also helps stimulate your metabolism to encourage a healthy weight profile.

•Organic ghee, which has been used for cooking for thousands of years, is another good choice.

•Olive oil — This oil contains healthy fatty acids that can help lower your risk of heart disease. While the standard recommendation has been to avoid using olive oil for cooking and to only use it cold, recent research in which 10 popular cooking oils were compared, contradicts this advice, showing extra-virgin olive oil actually scored best for both oxidative stability and lack of harmful compounds produced when heated.

Now, you’re not going to believe this!  Watch out for fake olive oils!!!!!

Peanut oil and sesame oil are are also yummy, er, healthy options to use raw. While both are high in omega-6, peanut oil is high in antioxidants, and sesame oil has been shown to benefit diabetics. The caveat with these two oils is that you need to consume them unheated and in moderation, so as not to throw off your omega-6 to omega-3 ratio.

I’m not real sure what all this means, only that Mom gives us coconut oil every night with our supper, and it tastes really good. If you liked my article you can 1. Pet me and tell me how good I am; or 2. Follow this link for a complete article with more details. or 3. Both

That’s all for today’s edition of Friday Food for Thought.

Love and wiggles, Lucy Ace Reporter

 

Visiting Our Aunt and Uncle

Xena: Auntie Jen must have heard me say I missed her, ’cause she invited us to come to her house near Nashville. I get a bit nervous on car rides, and I panted for the whole three hour trip even though Daddy held me and pet me the whole way there while Mommy drove. At least this time I didn’t puke in the car.

Lucy: That’s only because Mom didn’t feed us before we left home.

Xena: I had a much better trip home. Auntie Jen put lavender oil on my ears, then Mommy put some on my paw pads after we got in the car. I only panted a tiny little bit once or twice. I hope we have lots of that oil around.

We returned the Santa toy that Achilles forgot at our house a couple of weeks ago. He was so over-the-moon happy that he played with it all weekend.

Lucy: He ignored me all weekend, too. Xena: That’s ’cause he remembered the talk I had with him when he was at our house! And he let me ride the horsie he got for Christmas. At first it was a little scary. I mean, I had never ridden a horsie before. I thought maybe I should watch for traffic behind us like Mommy does when she is driving.Then I said, “giddy up,” and urged horsie to go faster while I hung on tight. I rode bareback my first time out!OK, Mommy, horsie said he’s done. You can help me off now.

We all played outside, too. Here we were playing follow the leader. That’s cousin Ella in the lead.

As the day got later, something strange happened. We think that aliens were coming down and making shadow monsters out of Lucy and Ella. The girls ran into the house with me and the monsters disappeared.

That Saturday night the peeps put Achilles in his kennel and left. The rest of us got free run of the house and we were all Very. Good.  My folks brought home pictures of what they did while they were gone. 

 

They went ballroom dancing to celebrate Daddy’s birthday and Auntie Jen’s birthday. In that picture they were doing something called a foxtrot, he, he.

That wraps up our big out-of-town weekend. I heard that this coming weekend, Mommy and Daddy are going to something called a Convention in Knoxville. That means that our most favorite doggie sitter – other than our Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill – is coming to stay with us. We lo-o-o-ve Miss Christy!

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Pee S: I can’t wait to tell you the stories about how I stood up to two dogs who got nasty with me and They. Backed. Down! I am getting very, very brave.

Pee Pee S: I don’t never start the trouble, neither!

 

Freestyle–Woohoo!

I went to my very first ever Freestyle Dance class and I am so psyched! Hey Lucy, come look at the videos of me dancing with Mommy!

That’s my very first time around the floor. Can you tell how excited I was? I wanted to be sure everyone knows that I am really into this.

Lucy: But you…

Xena: I did so good that I got to do a special move called a Serpentine. I don’t think Mommy followed me very well; I had to keep coming back to get her.

Did you hear the teacher talk about the special move that Mommy did to help me switch sides,  and hoped she could remember it? No? The recorder must have gone off before that. Well, I’ll ask Mommy to keep watching the recording so that she does it again. The teacher said the move would catch on and even get named after me!

Lucy: But you….

Xena: So now I go to Agility every Monday and to Freestyle every Sunday. Woohoo! Woof! Woof!

Lucy: *sigh* Good job, Xena.

I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess and almost Freestyle Champion (woohoo!)

A Belated Birthday Story

Hi, this is Lucy, My 3rd birthday and 2nd gotcha day was January 14, the day before Dad’s birthday. I was excited, thinking maybe I would get a great big cake and maybe ice cream and lots and lots of treats. I saw a big, heavy package delivered a few days before, and just knew it had to be something for me. I was right! You are never going to believe what I got…The meanies folks said this was a present to help me learn how to behave, to not chew up anything, and that would be a gift to everyone. Do I look happy with my present?

It is really big, and I can even walk around in it. Here is a picture of me and Ella in it together, to give you a sense of just how big it is. We could have even fit one more of us in there. This is the one that Achilles-dini escaped from when he and Ella were here for a few days. I wish he would show me how he did it, he, he.

Oh well, maybe my 4th birthday will be better.

Wags and kisses, Lucy

The Good Child

Late last summer Mommy got me a super duper seven month flea collar. She had tried very, very hard to repel those nasty fleas using different natural ways, like using blends of essential oils on us and diotomaceous earth on the yard, but we just kept on getting bit, and I kept reacting strongly to the flea bites.  That’s when she gave up and got this flea collar from our vet, Dr. Karen. I think Mom spent all her money on it ’cause she said she has never paid so much for a flea and tick collar in her entire life. When the weather turned cold, Mommy took the collar off of me and sealed it in a plastic baggie for when the evil fleas return in the spring. Well, we got springy weather AND my allergy test showed I have a flea allergy, so back on went the collar. That is, until Lucy chewed it off my neck.Mommy was not amused. She stood perfectly still, looking at it like she had never before seen anything that a dog had destroyed. #poormommy. We found a few small pieces on the stairs. Other than that, we think Lucy might be protected from fleas until after her next good poop.Lucy: I’m not going to get any fleas now for seven months. The collar box said the collar’s good for that long.

Mommy  could not bring herself to throw away the collar. Or to tell Lucy that she was wrong.Now I have a duck-taped seven month flea collar. I wonder how many more months I have to go with it like this.  Probably just until Lucy chews it off my neck again, he, he.

I am Xena , the Good Child.

Pupdate on Collar: Looks like Lucy continues to be protected from fleas. She chewed the collar off my neck again. My neck is 10 inches around. The collar is now 9 inches long. Mommy said you can do the math, whatever that means. I just saw it dropped in the trash. #poorermommy.It’s real cold again, so I hope those evil fleas are gone for a while, or at least until Mommy can get me a new collar. Phhhthhh on Lucy the flealess!

Thursday Three Day Throwback

Mom: I guess it’s time to take down the tree. I’ve enjoyed it so much this year, I’m going to miss it.

Dad: Look at the bright side; only ten more months and we get to do it all over again.

Achilles: Can I help, huh, please. I’m really good at taking off the bulbs. Mom: Uh, why don’t you just watch and make sure I’m doing it right?

Two minutes later…

Achilles: You missed one, Aunt Amy. There’s another one you missed.

Mom: Move please, Achilles.

Achilles: I could get under the tree and get that one you dropped.

Mom: Move out of my way, Achilles.

Achilles: Oops, didn’t mean to step on your foot.  Look, I can even fit back behind the tree. Is that my Mom driving by the house? Isn’t she coming to get me today?

Mom: That’s not her, and she will be here later. Now, will you please get out of my way?

Ella: I think you missed one, way up at the top. Mom: Thank you Ella. Now I think we are done, except for Uncle Jeff putting away the tree.

That was hard work.Yep, I’m exhausted.

Wake us when our Mom comes.

Achilles and Ella, the helper pups waiting on our Mom.

Return of Our Friends

Xena here. Something bad happened. Our Uncle Bill’s Mommy fell down really hard. Her hip broke, and so did her leg, and her shoulder shattered. She is very old, and we feel very bad for her. So first, before we go any further, we want to ask for POTP for Miss Pat.

Our Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill drove the three hours from their home near Nashville to be with Miss Pat right after she fell. That’s why Achilles and Ella got to stay with us. Aunty Jen left them at our house while my folks were gone teaching a ballroom dance class. She locked Achilles in the new, gigormous kennel, and Ella took over Xena’s kennel. (That was to ensure that Ella and Lucy didn’t go on another destruction spree.)                                                  Achilles

When Mommy and Daddy got home an hour later, Achilles met them at the door. He really is Achilles-dini.

Ella was still in Xena’s kennel, and pitifully asked Mommy why she had to be in jail. Shortly after Mommy let her out she projectile vomited the little bit of kibble left in her tummy.

Mommy went up to the attic to pull out more dog beds. You can see that Angel Lexi’s bed got covered with red fuzz from my red blankie that was in the wash with it. The plan was for Achilles to sleep there because it is the bigger bed. Since he wouldn’t settle down, Ella claimed it. Silly girl, she didn’t even use most of the bed. I guess her head felt good on the floor.

The next day my folks had to go to work, so they jailed both of our guests. When Mommy got home (you know this is going to be bad, starting off like that, right?) Achilles-dini was loose again, but the door to the kennel was still locked. That is still a mystery. Now, here’s the bad part.  The smell about knocked Mommy over. The big boy had left a steaming present in Daddy’s office, and I had to be in the house and smell steaming Achilles-dini poop all afternoon! *gag* Wait! There’s more! We couldn’t walk through the house without stepping in Achilles-dini pee. He left puddles and trails. I couldn’t believe Mommy wasn’t mad. She said it is because he drinks huge bowls of water all at once because he is so hot from his allergies. He takes medicine, but it doesn’t help enough.

Achilles-dini also decided the pretty hanging bulbs on the Christmas tree (yes, we still have our tree up in the front room because it make Mommy feel good) anyhow, he decided they are good to eat. No one has died – or even gotten yelled at (much) – yet.

Oh, and one more thing. I had a talk with Achilles. I told him in no-uncertain-terms that Lucy already has a boyfriend and he isn’t to be kissing on her. He understood and said OK, he could respect that. 

BB, you know I have been called a “snitch,” but I can snitch on good things too, right? So here goes: Lucy behaved herself around Achilles-dini. Mommy is a notary public, and I will have her notarize my statement if you want, to prove it is true.

Our friends are going home today, and, until then, our folks are taking turns leaving the house for work and errands.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, the good snitch

Pupdates

Pupdate #1: My allergy sea rum came, but it is not sea rum at all. Or if it is, I don’t get to drink it. Instead, it gets shot into the skin in my neck. Maybe that’s what you’re supposed to do with sea rum. I don’t mind. Daddy feeds me treats while Mommy  sticks me with the sea rum. I barely feel it.

 

 

Pupdate #2: Maybe you remember that Mommy was going to start feeding me special  mushrooms to try to help with my allergies. She sent Daddy to the special mushroom store to get them. He came home with two things: one half pound of mushrooms and something called sticker shock. After those were gone, I didn’t get any more.

Pupdate #3: We forgot to show you one of our Christmas presents from Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill:

We’ve been practicing our song.

        Adam

Pupdate #4: Grodd is gone. When Aunty Jen told us it was time to open presents on Christmas morning, Grodd was already sitting under the tree waiting for his pressie. My peeps brother Adam saw Grodd, and thought he was supposed to take him home. Aunty Jen texted Mommy, who said if Adam liked Grodd that much, let Adam have him. That ended the dispute about whether Grodd likes me or Lucy more. Grodd now lives with Adam.

That’s all for now.

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Wordless Wednesday: Bette Davis Eyes

“Lucy Sandy Eyes”

 

“Bette Davis Eyes”

Grooming with Mommy: Maddie (and a blurb from Xena)

I guess you could say this is a Two Part Post. So that my sister Xena doesn’t steal the last half, I have given it to her, as she is tugging on my ear with her teeth and telling me that she wants to say something, too.

Part One: Hi, this is Lucy, Ace Reporter, with a clear conscience, on the Groom Beat. Today’s article features Maddie, a salt and pepper colored Schnauzer. Maddie is the same size as Angel Lexi was and has turned almost silver. Her Mom (Anne) is an expert organ player and knows my Mom from when Mom worked at St. Luke. Anne usually grooms Maddie, but sometimes she needs an expert groomer’s touch.  The holidays were so busy that Maddi got pretty madded, or matted, and Mom’s touch was needed. Xena and I got to come in the groom room and be with them, but Xena couldn’t stop her yapper so I took her upstairs. Before long, Mom was done and Maddie had her bath they all came upstairs too. Xena and I sort of played with Maddie while the peeps visited over lunch. On the way back downstairs, Xena was on one side of me and Maddie on the other when they decided to (almost) get in a fight and barked and lunged at each other right underneath my belly! That sure was a moment I don’t want to repeat.  Lucy, signing off from the Groom Beat, with my guts still intact.

Hi, Xena here. I just wanted to say that I miss my Auntie Jen, who took care of me at Christmas time when Mommy and Daddy went away. Auntie Jen, will you and Uncle Bill come back to visit me soon,  please?XOXOXO Your niece, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Lucy Repents

Dear Mom, I am sorry for ripping the stuffing out of the couch cushion – three times. I felt so bad after you yelled at me and showed me what I had done wrong, I would have done anything to make it right. That’s why I went willingly to the guillotine bath. That’s why I even jumped in the tub by myself and didn’t make you pick me up and put me in it.

Please forgive me. I promise to not tear up the furniture again. I love you, Lucy

Dear Big Boy, I am sorry I lied to you about what I did with Achilles. When my snitching little sister told on me, I panicked. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore. But lying is wrong. So is kissing other boys when I have a boyfriend. Please forgive me. I was a Bad Girl. Love, Lucy

Busted!

Xena: While our folks deserted us were on vacation over Christmas, Ella and Lucy went crazy. It’s a good thing Achilles and I were in our kennels so we couldn’t be blamed. You can see where they tore open the zipper on the couch cushion and started ripping out the stuffing. Bad Ella! Bad Lucy!  They even tried to blame it on my poor innocent bear. She’s on the Otto Man minding her own busy ness. Can you see where they set her up with a piece of the stuffing to get her in trouble? After Ella went home, Lucy did it again, but this time I wasn’t in my kennel, and I was suddenly a suspect. Then, when I was off somewhere with Mommy, it happened again, and bam! Lucy was busted. Boy, was Mommy ever mad. I don’t think my sister will ever do that again.

And that’s not all! When Achilles was here over Christmas, he made a move on Lucy. He started kissing her all over her mouth and (ick!) she liked it. They made out the rest of the time he was here. It was so disgusting. Can you see Lucy’s tail wagging? Gross!So, it looks like she is stringing Big Boy along while she has this stupid thing going on with Achilles. Busted!Lucy: I saw what you just told all our friends. You think I’m in trouble, you little snitch. Just wait until Mom leaves.

This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess who may need to get my warrior on.

Lucy: If you are reading this BB, it’s all lies.

I’m a Hot Mess

Daddy said I have crazy eyebrows. Mommy asked how I could be such a hot mess so soon.

So you can guess what happened next.

Good thing I don’t mind getting groomed.

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

A Christmas Recap (or What I Got for Christmas)

Xena: Me and Lucy had a great Christmas with Uncle Bill and Aunty Jen and Ella and Achilles. We all opened our pressies Christmas morning, and I got a santa that makes crinkly sounds that I don’t really like, and a great new bear.

Lucy: They are for me, too, Xena.

Xena: You don’t like to play with them, so they’re mine. But I will be kind and give you the crinkly santa thingie.

   I love my new bear friend.

Anyhoo, Mommy asked me today why I keep taking my new bear friend (who I haven’t thought of a name  for yet – any suggestions?) into the bathroom and leaving him/her there. All I could say is, “Why not?” Ya know, it’s not my fault if I take new bear with me through the house and she/he doesn’t follow me back, right? 

Lucy: Mom and Dad got home just before our aunt and uncle left. That was a good present. Then our peeps brother Andrew came over for a while, too.

Xena: And then, on the day after Christmas, Mommy brought out all these new pressies for us that she had been hiding.

Lucy: I got new jammies. I’ve never had jammies before, and I’m not sure if they look OK on me. At XXL, they are the largest that Chewy.com carries. Mom says I am just a beautiful big girl. They are soft and warm, so whenever it gets cold, I will be cozy, especially now that I’m not allowed to sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad any more. But that’s a story for another time.

Then Mom helped us open our other pressies. I kept my jammies close so Xena didn’t take them.

Xena: I we got two bags of treats. One of them is Stella & Chewy’s Wild Weenies Grass-fed Lamb. The other one is Dr. Jodie’s Natural Pets N-Trail Mix with lamb liver and spleen, grass fed beef kidney,  turkey heart and gizzards, and pork brain. Mmmm. They are both freeze-dried raw, so they fit nicely into our raw diet.

And I got a treat puzzle! I’m so excited about that ! I tried one at an agility classes, and I got really good at it.  You see, all you have to do is smell where the treat is, then move the circle thingie out of the way with your mouth or paw. I always go back and double and triple check that I got every single one. I think that’s called being detail-oriented.

Lucy: I wanted to try it, but Xena wouldn’t let me.

Xena: Too slow, Luce. You snooze,  you lose. (Especially when it comes to a schnauzer and treats!)

Lucy: Mom got a pressie from Dad that me and Xena just didn’t quite understand. They moved with her when she walked.

Mom laughed and said, “Leave them alone,” and “They’re not toys.” But we think otherwise.  By the way, do I look odd in this picture? I think it’s just the camera angle, right?

Xena: Wrong.

Lucy: Be quiet Xena.  So, can you see that they have stained beards, just like Xena? The bad news is that one-size-doesn’t-fit-all, contrary to what the ad said. So Mom got the company to agree to pay for return shipping with her refund. She called it “false advertising.”

That’s the end of our Christmas recap, friends. We hope you had a good holiday, too. Love and wiggles from Xena the Schnauzer Princess Warrior and Lucy

Xena: Pee S. I have decided that my new bear is a girl and I think I will name her after my aunty and call her Jen Jen (unless you have a better name.

PeePee Ess: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Grooming and More: Roxxii, Dora and Maggie

Today, Ace Reporter Lucy on the Groom Beat. First, we have Roxxii. Isn’t she a doll? Mom did what she calls a “Winter Groom,” leaving her body and leg hair long to help her stay warm.

Her Mom had to leave her for three hours while she worked, so Roxxii came upstairs to stay with us.Xena: Who are you and why are you here? I play bowed and you didn’t respond. Don’t even think about taking my Mommy or stealing my food or my pressies from under the tree.

Roxxii: I hadn’t thought about any of those things until you mentioned them, schnauzer dog. Where are the pressies? I don’t see any.

Xena: Just never mind. I already hid my reindeer when I saw you coming.

30 minutes later after Roxxii ran all over the house looking for Xena’s reindeer…Roxxii: I want my Mommy.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the grooming room…Dora the shih tzu: Maggie, did you see if that other dog ever came back? What happened to her?

Maggie the schnauzer: I don’t know, Dora, but I’ll protect you.

Maggie: Miss Amy, where did that other dog go? Is she staying with you while her Mom and Dad go away like we stayed a few weeks ago? Is she OK?

Dora: (As their Mom pulls into the driveway) Can we go home now, Miss Amy? Are we staying with you again, too? I really want to go home.

Angel Lexi: There’s no place like home.

Well, I seem to have totally lost control of my article, so I guess that’s all for today, folks. Wags and wiggles from Lucy, Ace Reporter who needs a lock on her computer.