I now star in my very own video on You Tube. My Dad made the video. It is inspirational, as well as very good because, well, because I am the star.
I now star in my very own video on You Tube. My Dad made the video. It is inspirational, as well as very good because, well, because I am the star.
Pupdate #1: My allergy sea rum came, but it is not sea rum at all. Or if it is, I don’t get to drink it. Instead, it gets shot into the skin in my neck. Maybe that’s what you’re supposed to do with sea rum. I don’t mind. Daddy feeds me treats while Mommy sticks me with the sea rum. I barely feel it.
Pupdate #2: Maybe you remember that Mommy was going to start feeding me special mushrooms to try to help with my allergies. She sent Daddy to the special mushroom store to get them. He came home with two things: one half pound of mushrooms and something called sticker shock. After those were gone, I didn’t get any more.
Pupdate #3: We forgot to show you one of our Christmas presents from Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill:
We’ve been practicing our song.
Pupdate #4: Grodd is gone. When Aunty Jen told us it was time to open presents on Christmas morning, Grodd was already sitting under the tree waiting for his pressie. My peeps brother Adam saw Grodd, and thought he was supposed to take him home. Aunty Jen texted Mommy, who said if Adam liked Grodd that much, let Adam have him. That ended the dispute about whether Grodd likes me or Lucy more. Grodd now lives with Adam.
That’s all for now.
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
I guess you could say this is a Two Part Post. So that my sister Xena doesn’t steal the last half, I have given it to her, as she is tugging on my ear with her teeth and telling me that she wants to say something, too.
Part One: Hi, this is Lucy, Ace Reporter, with a clear conscience, on the Groom Beat. Today’s article features Maddie, a salt and pepper colored Schnauzer. Maddie is the same size as Angel Lexi was and has turned almost silver. Her Mom (Anne) is an expert organ player and knows my Mom from when Mom worked at St. Luke. Anne usually grooms Maddie, but sometimes she needs an expert groomer’s touch. The holidays were so busy that Maddi got pretty madded, or matted, and Mom’s touch was needed. Xena and I got to come in the groom room and be with them, but Xena couldn’t stop her yapper so I took her upstairs. Before long, Mom was done and Maddie had her bath they all came upstairs too. Xena and I sort of played with Maddie while the peeps visited over lunch. On the way back downstairs, Xena was on one side of me and Maddie on the other when they decided to (almost) get in a fight and barked and lunged at each other right underneath my belly! That sure was a moment I don’t want to repeat. Lucy, signing off from the Groom Beat, with my guts still intact.
Hi, Xena here. I just wanted to say that I miss my Auntie Jen, who took care of me at Christmas time when Mommy and Daddy went away. Auntie Jen, will you and Uncle Bill come back to visit me soon, please?XOXOXO Your niece, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Dear Mom, I am sorry for ripping the stuffing out of the couch cushion – three times. I felt so bad after you yelled at me and showed me what I had done wrong, I would have done anything to make it right. That’s why I went willingly to the
guillotine bath. That’s why I even jumped in the tub by myself and didn’t make you pick me up and put me in it.
Please forgive me. I promise to not tear up the furniture again. I love you, Lucy
Dear Big Boy, I am sorry I lied to you about what I did with Achilles. When my snitching little sister told on me, I panicked. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore. But lying is wrong. So is kissing other boys when I have a boyfriend. Please forgive me. I was a Bad Girl. Love, Lucy
Xena: While our folks
deserted us were on vacation over Christmas, Ella and Lucy went crazy. It’s a good thing Achilles and I were in our kennels so we couldn’t be blamed. You can see where they tore open the zipper on the couch cushion and started ripping out the stuffing. Bad Ella! Bad Lucy! They even tried to blame it on my poor innocent bear. She’s on the Otto Man minding her own busy ness. Can you see where they set her up with a piece of the stuffing to get her in trouble? After Ella went home, Lucy did it again, but this time I wasn’t in my kennel, and I was suddenly a suspect. Then, when I was off somewhere with Mommy, it happened again, and bam! Lucy was busted. Boy, was Mommy ever mad. I don’t think my sister will ever do that again.
And that’s not all! When Achilles was here over Christmas, he made a move on Lucy. He started kissing her all over her mouth and (ick!) she liked it. They made out the rest of the time he was here. It was so disgusting. Can you see Lucy’s tail wagging? Gross!So, it looks like she is stringing Big Boy along while she has this stupid thing going on with Achilles. Busted!Lucy: I saw what you just told all our friends. You think I’m in trouble, you little snitch. Just wait until Mom leaves.
This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess who may need to get my warrior on.
Lucy: If you are reading this BB, it’s all lies.
Xena: Me and Lucy had a great Christmas with Uncle Bill and Aunty Jen and Ella and Achilles. We all opened our pressies Christmas morning, and I got a santa that makes crinkly sounds that I don’t really like, and a great new bear.
Lucy: They are for me, too, Xena.
Xena: You don’t like to play with them, so they’re mine. But I will be kind and give you the crinkly santa thingie.
Anyhoo, Mommy asked me today why I keep taking my new bear friend (who I haven’t thought of a name for yet – any suggestions?) into the bathroom and leaving him/her there. All I could say is, “Why not?” Ya know, it’s not my fault if I take new bear with me through the house and she/he doesn’t follow me back, right?
Lucy: Mom and Dad got home just before our aunt and uncle left. That was a good present. Then our peeps brother Andrew came over for a while, too.
Xena: And then, on the day after Christmas, Mommy brought out all these new pressies for us that she had been hiding.
Lucy: I got new jammies. I’ve never had jammies before, and I’m not sure if they look OK on me. At XXL, they are the largest that Chewy.com carries. Mom says I am just a beautiful big girl. They are soft and warm, so whenever it gets cold, I will be cozy, especially now that I’m not allowed to sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad any more. But that’s a story for another time.
I we got two bags of treats. One of them is Stella & Chewy’s Wild Weenies Grass-fed Lamb. The other one is Dr. Jodie’s Natural Pets N-Trail Mix with lamb liver and spleen, grass fed beef kidney, turkey heart and gizzards, and pork brain. Mmmm. They are both freeze-dried raw, so they fit nicely into our raw diet.
And I got a treat puzzle! I’m so excited about that ! I tried one at an agility classes, and I got really good at it. You see, all you have to do is smell where the treat is, then move the circle thingie out of the way with your mouth or paw. I always go back and double and triple check that I got every single one. I think that’s called being detail-oriented.
Lucy: I wanted to try it, but Xena wouldn’t let me.
Xena: Too slow, Luce. You snooze, you lose. (Especially when it comes to a schnauzer and treats!)
Mom laughed and said, “Leave them alone,” and “They’re not toys.” But we think otherwise. By the way, do I look odd in this picture? I think it’s just the camera angle, right?
Lucy: Be quiet Xena. So, can you see that they have stained beards, just like Xena? The bad news is that one-size-doesn’t-fit-all, contrary to what the ad said. So Mom got the company to agree to pay for return shipping with her refund. She called it “false advertising.”
That’s the end of our Christmas recap, friends. We hope you had a good holiday, too. Love and wiggles from Xena the Schnauzer Princess Warrior and Lucy
Xena: Pee S. I have decided that my new bear is a girl and I think I will name her after my aunty and call her Jen Jen (unless you have a better name.
PeePee Ess: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Today, Ace Reporter Lucy on the Groom Beat. First, we have Roxxii. Isn’t she a doll? Mom did what she calls a “Winter Groom,” leaving her body and leg hair long to help her stay warm.
Her Mom had to leave her for three hours while she worked, so Roxxii came upstairs to stay with us.Xena: Who are you and why are you here? I play bowed and you didn’t respond. Don’t even think about taking my Mommy or stealing my food or my pressies from under the tree.
Roxxii: I hadn’t thought about any of those things until you mentioned them, schnauzer dog. Where are the pressies? I don’t see any.
Xena: Just never mind. I already hid my reindeer when I saw you coming.
30 minutes later after Roxxii ran all over the house looking for Xena’s reindeer…Roxxii: I want my Mommy.
Meanwhile, downstairs in the grooming room…Dora the shih tzu: Maggie, did you see if that other dog ever came back? What happened to her?
Maggie the schnauzer: I don’t know, Dora, but I’ll protect you.
Maggie: Miss Amy, where did that other dog go? Is she staying with you while her Mom and Dad go away like we stayed a few weeks ago? Is she OK?
Dora: (As their Mom pulls into the driveway) Can we go home now, Miss Amy? Are we staying with you again, too? I really want to go home.
Angel Lexi: There’s no place like home.
Well, I seem to have totally lost control of my article, so I guess that’s all for today, folks. Wags and wiggles from Lucy, Ace Reporter who needs a lock on her computer.
Tilapia or Bacon: Which is Worse?
Hi friends. Lucy here. You might remember I was in a quandary about what my job would be, since church dog and dog groomer didn’t quite work out. In case you haven’t noticed, I have decided to be a reporter, specifically working the groom beat. Now I am adding the Friday Food for Thought beat to my job, giving Mom more time to groom and eat and other stuff.
In today’s edition of Friday Food for Thought, we will look at Bad Fish. They might have been very good fish when they were alive, but dead they are ready and waiting to poison you with everything from chicken poop to pesticides and antie bio ticks. I think it’s fun to read stuff with pictures, so take a gander at this!
Go here to read the whole article, with info on what fish are safe, why shrimp are the worst possible fish to eat, and how to be smart when ordering or buying fish in stores and restaurants.
I hope you liked my first edition of Food for Thought. (I know Mom’s done this before, but it is my first time.)
Love and Wiggles from Ace Reporter Lucy on the Food beat.
Hi, where’s our folks, and how did you get in our house?
Mommy and Daddy left and Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill arrived.
You look different , Uncle Bill.Oh, you’ve got hair on your face now like me. I think we’re twinsies!
Ok, you can be part of our clan. You may feed me now.
I remember you now!! You just surprised me, coming in without Mom and Dad. Where’s my bestie, Ella?
It’s gonna be a fun Christmas with Ella and Achilles (and Uncle Bill and Aunty Jen)!
Love and wiggles, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Today I, Lucy Ace Reporter, bring you a fun episode of Grooming with Mommy. You may remember Louis and Laila, proud three time parents. They came to get groomed, like usual. What wasn’t usual was that after they were finished, their Mom brought their last three puppies that hadn’t gone to new homes yet. They are 12 weeks old, and all are little boys. Mom asked me to come downstairs to help her.This little guy was first up, and he was really terrified. I gave him some thoughts of confidence that no one was going to hurt him, and to just relax. He listened to me, and while we passed thoughts back and forth Mom was able to hold him in her lap to finish cutting his nails. He is to be a Christmas present from a fire fighter in Georgia for his little girl. The puppy promised me that he would be a good boy for her.
I checked on the other boys in the kennel to be sure they were doing ok. The one with hair like his daddy growled at me. If you look hard, you can see my tail wagging, ’cause this little guy fussing at a big girl like me made me laugh.
The other two boys were much easier, and I didn’t really have to do anything else. Even so, I stayed just in case Mom needed me again. Besides, their Mom came back and pet me a lot while she told me how beautiful I am. I think I made her feel good, too!Mom said, “Sit,” and we all sat. The growler (he, he) is up front. He is the only one with a single coat (that means no undercoat), like his Dad. The one that I helped with is in the middle, all groomed and ready to go make a little girl happy. Mom’s favorite is the one in the back. Just looking in his face, we could tell he is smart. He’s really good-natured too, and has a thick coat. He’s in the middle in the next picture.Mom said me and Xena are enough for this home, so I won’t get to raise a baby brother.
Love and wiggles from Lucy, Ace Reporter and Doggie Therapist
Mommy got a job. I liked it better when she was home with me all day. I slept in her lap a lot! Now Mommy is working at another church, uh, I mean a synagogue. I think that’s right. Anyhow, it’s another place where God lives.
Lucy: Grodd lives here with us.
Good grief, Lucy, I said God, not Grodd. Anyhow, I grodd — dang, I meant got. I got to go to the synagogue with Mommy last week. Everyone came in Mommy’s office to meet me and pet me and tell me how sweet and pretty I am. One lady even said that I had leg hairs like the big Clydesdale horses! Mommy was real busy
keeping me under control working, and she forgot to take any pictures. I even got to go to the staff meeting because I threw a fit when she left me alone in the office across the hall, where Mommy made me stay on her lap and everybody ignored me.
We left work early and went up the road a short piece to the special vet’s where I had gone two weeks ago. He is called an allergist, and I heard he comes here to Chattanooga from the Knoxville Veterinary school at UTK. That’s where really good animal dogtors teach students how to be animal dogtors. He is supposed to be very special, or maybe on a special list.
I really didn’t know why I was there, but I should have guessed it wasn’t for anything good when Mommy lost the battle about holding me for something that was about to happen. She had to wait in the lobby while they whisked me into the inner bowels of the building. I remained brave. I didn’t even flinch when they cruelly stuck a needle in my arm. The next thing I knew, the world kinda’ started spinning. Then everything got peaceful, and I didn’t care what was happening. I heard the sound of clippers, like what Mommy uses to groom me, before I felt little pricks, but it didn’t bother me at all.
Before long, they gave me a shot and the world started coming back into focus. The nice nurse, Noah, wrapped me up in a fluffy towel and brought me out to Mommy. Mommy held me and talked sweet to me, but I was kind of a little bit mad at her for not saying, “No,” like she does when the vet places want to shove the glass stick up my patootie. I wouldn’t even look at her. I kept growling, but the growls all faded out into pitiful whimpers. Finally, I let my anal glands empty on her arm. I thought I heard Angel Lexi coaching me on that one.
I wanted Daddy to hold me when we got home. I feel safe in his arms.Nurse Noah gave Mommy a paper showing what I tested positive to. I am allergic to 17 of the things they tested me for, ranging from different trees and grasses to fleas and house mold. Nurse Noah is going to make my sea rum on Monday and mail it to me. I sure hope it tastes good!
Xena, the Polka Dot Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Xena: Hey Lucy, don’t you wonder what’s in all these bags that Mommy put under the tree?
Lucy: Um, now that you mention it, I guess I do. Some of them smell good. Hey Xena, look, Dad left the door to the downstairs open while Mom is gone.
a short while later…
Dad: Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, what are you doing?
Lucy: Amph, s mn, ood.
Dad: Spit it all out, girl. That’s not whatever you think it is. No, no, don’t chew faster, spit it out!
Dad: Lucy, where’s Xena?
Lucy: (with a foaming mouth) I on’t know.
Another short while later Mom arrives home.
Mom: Xena, what did you do!Xena: Uh, I came down looking for you, Mommy, and, umm, a little piece of something was sticking up, and, and, I thought maybe it was food, er, I mean, I wanted to clean the carpet for you Mommy, and..
back upstairs…What happened to all the pressies?
This is Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with only Grodd under the tree.
I had been wondering when I would get groomed again. I knew I was way overdue. My back hairs stood up like a crazy clown’s hair when they were rubbed the wrong way. My hair does need to be kept pretty as befits a princess, even a warrior princess, right?Are we done? No bath today? Woo hoo!
Will I do a nice pose next to all of my hair that is no longer on my body?
How’s that? Do I get a cookie now?One more, and look a little more interested?
Geesh, how interested can I be in old hair that I can’t even eat?Hey everyone, look at all my hair on the table! I am so interested in what you think! Can I have a cookie now, Mommy?Hey Daddy can I get a glass of that special stuff in the schnauzer bottle? Maybe just a little? As compensation for being groomed? No? Another cookie, then?
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, always campaigning for the good things in life.
Did you know that there are eating turkeys and singing turkeys, and we should never get them mixed up?Not long before Thanksgiving here in the U.S. of A., a singing turkey invaded my home. Here is my first encounter with him.
That’s me barking. I had to be brave for my little sis. She was counting on me. Finally, Thanksgiving was over and the Singing Turkey went away – at least for another year – without any casualties.
I didn’t think ahead to the dangers lurking around the house during the Christmas season. I’ve already told you about the Monster Tree. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when a Singing Gorilla showed up. Of course, Xena immediately claimed him and named him. Grodd. But Grodd likes me a lot, as you can hear, here.
Love and wags, Lucy, the love interest of Grodd
Hi Friends. This story for Nature Friday is from a walk we took the first Sunday in December. The days leading up to it were very rainy and dreary, and no one would take us for a good walk. OK, so we got to go for a short neighborhood walk one day, but there was no one else out to say hi! Slowly, the weather started to warm up from the 30’s to the 50’s F (-10’s to 10’s C) and then Sunday the sky was a clear blue with temperatures in the mid 70’sF (24’sC). Mom helped me with the temperature conversion with a new app she downloaded ’cause her old app disappeared when her old phone got dropped in the t…. Oops, Mom is making the cutting motion across her throat so you can just use your imagination as to why she had to break the bank to get a new phone.
Anyhow, that’s why we finally get to participate again in Nature Friday hosted by Rosy at LLB in Our Backyard
Mom had been
complaining nicely telling Dad that he needed to spend more time with her, so when she asked him to go with us for exercise a nice walk at the greenway, Dad –being the smart man he is — said, “Let’s go!” It’s at the same place as the dog park, so I knew right where we were. Most of the leaves were off the trees and provided a soft walkway for our feet. The trail smelled so good, like squirrels and other dogs!
The trail ran right along South Chickamauga Creek. The creek is usually small enough to wade across (not that Mom ever has let us do that) but that Sunday — after all the hard rain — it looked more like a river.You can see the creek behind us. It was flowing pretty fast, so we stayed on the trail (mostly). There were ginormous puddles on the trail, too, from last week’s rains, and Mom and Xena kept exploring other ways around the trails while Dad plodded along the edge with me.There were some really beautiful areas — at least from Mom’s perspective. Me and Xena mostly had our noses down. Xena and Mom were following me and Dad, trying to keep up, and Xena kept pulling on her leash. Me and Dad knew this because we walked to a chorus of “Xena, walk pretty,” and “Xena, walk with me,” and “Xena!!” I told Dad we should just lose them so we didn’t have to listen to it, but he said that wouldn’t be nice,” and “Try to be patient.”
We found an old, abandoned two-room cabin with a tin roof, and Mom sat a spell on one of the big wooden rockers on the porch facing the raging creek. There were only two “rooms” with an outdoors area to cook, all very rugged. The “windows” looked like they had been cut out later with no sign of any way to insert glass or screening, and the only door was gone. Mom had decided to take a picture on our way back by, not knowing we would end up at the end of a loop and not need to retrace our steps. Dad walked around evaluating the structure, trying to figure out when it was built. He found modern nails and things called 2 by 4’s that made him decide it was built probably around 1960 and left to ruin when the previous owner of the land donated it all for the South Chickamauga Greenway.
The temperature had risen by about 10 degrees and Mom and Dad were wearing their jackets tied around their waists as we walked back into civilization at the end of a sock-shaped trail. Can you believe it was in the mid-70’s (20’s C) in December?!
We had walked for over an hour and Xena and I, after getting our paws thoroughly wiped, were very quiet in the back seat of the car on the way home. As soon as we got out of the car Mom threw Xena in the groom tub and washed the dirt and mud off of her until the water ran clear. Between the exercise and the warmth of the sun, we were all sleepy and and jumped – or fell – into the big bed and took a good afternoon nap.
Love and wiggles, Lucy.
Xena: Daddy and brother Adam put up a big thing that looks like a tree right in the house! Xena: Lucy was scared, but I wasn’t scared at all!
Lucy: It looked like a tree, but it didn’t smell like a tree. Then Mom put all these lights and other stuff on it, so it didn’t really even look like a tree any more. I still don’t know what it is.
Xena: So what did it look like, Lucy?
Lucy: *whispers* A giant monster.
Xena: Well, sitting in front of the monster got us treats, so it couldn’t be all bad. Am I right? Then Mommy found some fun stuff in the plastic bins.This is the Christmas gorilla. I think I will name him Grod, like on our favorite Netflix show, The Flash. Only our Grod will be a nice ape.I promise I won’t hurt Grod, Mommy. Can I keep him? He’s my new friend, and I’m not afraid of him.
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Keeper of Grod.
I am Lucy and I’m staying in the other room away from the giant monster.
Lookie what my Auntie Jen gave me so I can stay warm all winter long!She said it was Angel Piper’s hoodie, and now it can be mine. I wonder if Piper ever pretended to be R2D2 from Star Wars. Beep, boop, beep, beep! He, he. I’ve been wearing my new hoodie to bed ’cause Mommy and Daddy
are too cheap to keep the house warm like to sleep in a cool house. Thank you, Piper and Auntie Jen. We love you!
I am Xena the R2D2 Schnauzer
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