I now star in my very own video on You Tube. My Dad made the video. It is inspirational, as well as very good because, well, because I am the star.
I now star in my very own video on You Tube. My Dad made the video. It is inspirational, as well as very good because, well, because I am the star.
Hi, this is Lucy with another installment of Mom Grooming.
Xena: Wait! I want to tell about my adventures at Shamrock City on St. Patrick’s Day.
Lucy: So that’s where everyone went without me yesterday.
Xena: Yep, and I got poop-faced.
Lucy: Oh, no! Go ahead…I can’t wait to hear about this!
Xena: Te he, well, it started like this. Daddy is the Em Cee during the two weekends of Shamrock City and he teaches Irish folk dance, so he has to go. Mommy doesn’t usually go to Rock City in March ’cause it’s either cold or raining or both. But this year, it was a perfect day with sunshine and the temperature in the 70’s F. On the way up Lookout Mountain Mommy reminded me that I went to Rock City last October, right after my adoption. She said at first I was very scared of the band, but then I realized it wasn’t a monster chasing after me and I relaxed and enjoyed myself.
Mommy, everyone here is wearing green. Why didn’t you get me a St. Patty’s day shirt? Look! The band is getting ready to play!Daddy said they are called the Olta Band and they all live in Chattanooga.
When the Olta Band went on break, Mommy and I (Mommy taught me that is the right way to say that instead of me and Mommy) anyhow
me and Mommy and I walked around the park. I read some pee mail and also left some of my own. We saw this amazing green water fall…
…and a plaque that told about the married couple who started Rock City. Their names are Garnet and Frieda Carter. Click on the picture to read about that, but be sure to come back, ’cause I haven’t gotten to the good part yet.
Lucy: So, Xena, where’s the part where you got in trouble?
Xena: I didn’t get in trouble. And I’m getting to it. Be patient!
When we got back to the pavilion, scary Mr. Rocky was there. He tried to be nice to me, but jeepers creepers, wouldn’t you run if you saw him coming at you? But then Mommy wanted to take our picture all together and I was in Daddy’s arm and I knew Daddy wouldn’t let anything bad happen, soooo…I decided to take this opportunity to check out Rocky’s big nose.
Lucy: So did you go get poop-faced to calm your nerves after that?
Xena: No! Will you pleeeease let me tell my story!?
I went to the patio outside the pavilion and relaxed while Mommy finished her Guinness Beer Float. These two came over to
steal Mommy’s beer meet us .
The little girl is a miniature schnauzer, like me, only I think God gave her a double portion when he handed out ears. The big girl is half giant schnauzer and half standard poodle. I don’t remember their names or where they live. You see, I was concentrating on the cup in Mommy’s hand.
They finally left, and Mommy put down her “empty” cup and picked up her Fire tablet to read a book. She looked down when she heard a man behind her laughing.I looked up too, but the cup was stuck on my face. Mommy got it off right away, ’cause she knows that can be very dangerous. At the time, I didn’t care, ’cause OMD, that Guinness flavored ice cream stuck to the insides of the cup was sooooo tasty!Yep, that’s ice cream residue all over my face, and I couldn’t stop grinning.
So, Lucy, that’s why I want to tell my story today. Can you tell the grooming story another day? Please?
Lucy: Uh, yep. And now I know why you didn’t go to Shamrock City with Dad today.
This is Xena, the brave Schnauzer Warrior Princess taking a “rest” day at home.
Everyone talks about Friday being their last work day. Mine is Thursday. It’s a good day. I get to see some of my favorite people, and this week was special. On Wednesday, there was a meeting of lots of ladies and they ate lunch together in a big room upstairs. On the way to work, Mommy told me this was going to happen, and she explained how she expected me to behave. This was the first time I was around more than just a few people. I was a brave girl, and was nice to everyone. Mommy said she was very, very proud of me.
The whole thing was fun but exhausting, so after my lunch I needed to take a long rest with Mr. Hedgehog. Herr Ludwig came over to say hi, and then had to go back to guarding Mommy’s printer.
On Thursday, Mommy told me the same thing on the way to work, but that it was going to be a big group of nice pastors meeting in the church-instead of nice lady members-who all want to pet me. I went up to the pastors and wagged my tail and gave them my most adorable look. They all
bought it thought I was pretty, and I got lots of attention. Later, Pastor Evelyn told Mommy that when they went into the big room called the sanctuary, I went as far as the door and didn’t go in. She said I was a very good girl. ( I remembered that Mommy told me not to go in there, so I guess I was a good girl.)
Thursday was sunny and warm, so, after everyone left, me and Mommy went outside for a while. I found that some other dog had been in my church yard and left his poop there. Mommy said, “Ick! Leave it.” The grass is full of interesting smells.
Pretty soon it was time to go home, go for a walk, eat my supper, visit with Lucy, and go to bed. It’s been a very busy week.
I am Xena the Very Good Girl Schnauzer Warrior Princess
On the way home from work, I got to go shopping at Walmart with Mommy. When we first parked, I didn’t know where we were. Then I saw the sign.
I started looking for where we would go into the store.
Then Mommy told me that someone else had already done the shopping for us, so I should watch for them to come out with a big rolling cart.
I saw a lot of cars going by and hoped the store person didn’t have to cross that dangerous traffic with my food.
Then I saw the door where people were coming and going, and figured that must be where all the good food came out, too.
Since I had to wait, I decided to check out lunch leftovers. Dang, nothing but an empty bag. Yep, lunch is why my beard looks like this, BOL! I think that’s my tummy I hear growling.
Look smart! Here they come! Mmmm, I hope there’s lots of goodies in there for me and Lucy.
Hey! Stop putting those in the trunk! Put those chickie wings in the back seat where I can eat them NOW. My Guardian Angel Lexi taught me that NOW is when I should get the things I want. It was part of her mantra.
I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess Walmart Shopper
Today for Madi’s 16th Birthday Celebration, Mom will tell about how she learned to drive.
My Grandma was afraid to teach Mom, so she hired a professional driving teacher when Mom was 17. He said she was “a natural” and she passed her driving test the first time.
Xena: Seriously? People get paid to teach people how to drive? It just doesn’t look that hard. Push a stick here, turn a wheel there, move your feet around, and voilà, we are where we are going. Kind of sounds like a Dr. Seuss story, doesn’t it?
Don’t interrupt me, Xena. Where was I? Oh yes. Just a year or so sooner and Mom would have learned in the family ’54 Buick Century. The seats were blue, so Grandma called it Blue Belle. Grandma had to get another car because of all the salt on the roads to melt the snow. The salt killed that big, heavy car. Even its eyes fell in. This is a picture of what it looked like (credit to Mr. Google).
Xena: No wonder Mommy doesn’t let us have much salt. Uh, Lucy, isn’t that Angel Lexi in the back seat? Was she with Mom way back then?
Um, I don’t think so, Xe. We’ll have to check with Mom about that.
Here’s a picture from January, 1960, of the actual car with my Grandma and her sister in front of the apartment where Mom grew up.
Xena: Wait, Lucy. Who is that running from behind the bush?
*eyes wide* Let’s just keep going.
When Mom got a boyfriend…
Xena: Mommy got a boyfriend? Really? You’re fibbing, Luce. Mommy would never have a boyfriend. She’s married to Daddy.
When Mom got her first boyfriend a long time before she met Dad, he taught her how to drive something called a straight shift in his old Chevy Nova. We have another picture of what it looked like, courtesy again of Mr. Google. Mom says it was old and beat up and had red seats and didn’t look nearly that good.
Here’s the funny part. Her boyfriend lived out in the country with lots of woods. One part had a dirt track around it, so he showed Mom how to change gears and told her to just drive around the track. She got going too fast and forgot which foot to use for the brake ’cause there were now three pedals instead of two. This silly boy stood in the track waving his arms and yelling at her to stop. She didn’t want to run him over so she swerved into the woods and the car bumped over rocks and big sticks and barely missed trees until it finally stalled out on top of a log. A few days later, after he fixed his car, he took Mom into town and told her to drive his car around while he went into a store. The main road, State Street, was on a bit of a hill. Mom had stopped at a red light, and the car behind her kept running into her bumper. Finally, the man got out of his car and came up to Mom’s window. He explained that it was her drifting back into him, and did she have her foot on the break. She said no, just on the clutch. So that’s how Mom learned to drive a stick shift.
Xena: I think I will just learn to drive our T-Lex.
Xena: Our T-Lex. That’s what Mommy named the car she bought for Angel Lexi before Lexi was an Angel. It’s a Toyota Lexus, hence T-Lex. Isn’t Mommy funny, he, he? How old do I have to be to drive?
I think 16 years old.
Xena: Oh. Well let’s just wish Madi of Madi and Mom a very, very happy 16th birthday, and happy driving!
Lots of love from Lucy, Xena and Mom
This is a blog hop, but since Mom
isn’t smart enough can never get linked up properly, just hop over to Madi and Mom’s blog to leave your birthday wishes and hop along.
It’s Baby Hold time at work. And guess who the baby is.
I learned a new song and I’m going to sing it for all my friends:
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
Did you like my song? I’ve got more where that came from.
Mmm. It feels so good to throw my head back and stre-e-e-etch.
Sleepy? Why do you think I’m *yawn* sleepy?Mmm. Mommy hugs are *yawn* good too.I am Xena, the Baby Held Schnauzer Princess …Warrior?
After having gone through two recalls when I was feeding Blue Buffalo, I know it is important to get the info as soon as possible. The first recall was in 2010 and caused by a mix-up of the ferret vitamin K formula with the dog formula. It killed several dogs across the country. At the time, I housed our own Lexi and Riley plus my friend’s two schnauzers – Piper and Milo – and my husband’s two dogs, Lily and Ivy, who lived with us every other week. It caused them all to have uncontrollable urination. We had just moved and planned to have the carpet replaced with hardwood in a couple of years, after we had recovered from the cost of the move. Ended up we were unable to wait, which is why you see the wood floors throughout the house in pictures I post. I was very thankful that they all recovered from that without any lasting effects. I kept feeding Blue Buffalo, reasoning that the safest restaurant to go to was one who had just failed their health inspection, since they were the most conscious of scrutiny and doing things correctly. So, I thought, it would be the same with this major dog food manufacturer.
One year later all the dogs came down with diarrhea. I immediately checked dog food recalls and found it was, once again, Blue Buffalo.
Click here to see the latest recalls. This time, it’s on dog chews. If you haven’t already subscribed, I strongly urge you to get on the e-mail list for all dog and cat food recalls at dogfoodadvisor.com. It’s a free service.
Lexi the Schnauzer and Riley
Of course, I now believe the safest way to feed is to make your own, whether it is cooked or raw. And the nutrition derived from a home-made diet far outweighs the “added” vitamins and minerals” in the kibble. Happy and safe feeding to all. ❤
This is Lucy and Xena, and we approve this message.
I am so very happy to see you again my Prinzessin Xena.
Why are you back Ludwig. Didn’t Mommy tell you to stay away from me? Come any closer and I will bite your face again.
All the face-biting in the world will not keep me from you, beautiful one. If that is what I must endure to be close to you, then so sei es. You truly are a Warrior Prinzessin.
Well, I won’t be your girlfriend. I want to keep my options open. My Guardian Angel Lexi told me she was almost 12 years old before she got a boyfriend. She had her career to think about and couldn’t be distracted. She was a famous actress, you know. I might be famous at something someday too. And besides, how do I know it’s safe to be around you? You certainly haven’t been behaving yourself.
No need to worry about that any more, my lovely one. The Mommy had that problem “fixed.”
This is Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess with a safe new friend.
You know, Mommy, I like being with you.I don’t know what brought that on, Xena, but I like you being with me, too.
Sometimes, though, it gets a little boring.I know, but you just can’t stay by yourself with Ludwig while I am up in the balcony downloading Sunday’s audio.
Oh, no, I don’t want to. I think he wanted to take my temperature, and you know how I hate that. And why does he talk so funny?
He’s German, and he just moved here and…and what do you mean he wants to take your temperature!?I don’t know, Mommy. Hey, what’s that on the floor? I think I’ll go check it out.
How about if you just stay put; I’m almost done. Then we may have to go have a little talk with Mr. Ludwig.
I’m never going to date a German!
I understand that bad experiences can make us feel like that. But there’s something you should know. *sigh* That’s exactly what I said to your Dad when we were dating. Do you know what he answered me?
No, Mommy, tell me! Did he say they are bad and you should never, ever date a German?
No, baby girl. He said he’s half German. *sigh*Oh! I’m glad you dated Daddy. Maybe Ludwig isn’t so bad. Let’s go talk to him.
To be continued…
Ludwig! What are you doing here?I only wish to see you again, meine Prinzessin. I look longingly on your beautiful face. May I stay and speak with you?Well, I guess that won’t hurt anything, especially since I’m done with my special big girl time.
I know this is true. I no longer smell that about you, Meine wunderschöne Prinzessin. *clears throat* It would make me so very happy to get a kiss. Just ein kleiner on my cheek?Like that, Herr Ludwig?
Now what are you doing? Bear! Stop the scoundrel from getting in my bed!
Ludwig! How did you get over there so fast?Please, meine Prinzessin Xena, I mean you no harm. Even a fierce bear cannot keep me from your love. I must kiss your sweet lips.To be continued…
I awoke from my nap and saw these fishies swimming by in the air. I thought maybe I was supposed to catch my own lunch. And this odd hat was perched on my head. Then, suddenly, these words came out of my mouth. Mommy says I’ve been infected by Dr. Seuss. I hope I won’t need a shot.
I am Xena the Schnauzer Dr. Seuss Warrior Princess
Our mayor Arty is hosting the party
So jump lickity split to the hilarious wit.
You are next… Click here to enter
This list will close in 3 days, 20 hrs, 57 min (3/5/2018 11:59 PM North America – Hawaii-Aleutian Standard Time)
Mom: Xena, do you know anything about this? I leave you alone for two hours and this is what you do? I tried to be Kind by putting you in a nice big bathroom instead of in a kennel, and this is what you do?
How do you know I did that? Uh, Lucy might have gone in and chewed it after you let me out.
Maybe if you just left me free in the house with Lucy, things like that wouldn’t happen.
2 weeks later
Mom: Xena, you know I don’t leave you alone very often. I did what you asked and you were doing so well. Then, I leave you with Lucy and your sick Dad while I go to a class and this is what you do?
Uh, I was watching for you and, uh, oh boy, am I getting a time-out?
I am Xena the Schnauzer Princess Warrior in time-out
Mom had a new groom today. She told me the story of how the nice lady found out about her grooming. Are you ready for this? The lady’s UPS delivery man told her! He saw her little tiny Yorkie and told her that his 15-year-old yorkie died not long ago. He said my Mom was a good groomer and gave her Mom’s name and phone number. (And boy, oh boy, did Annsley ever need groomed!)
Mom was concentrating when Annsley showed up and forgot to get her “before” picture, but she looked something like this (thanks for the pic, Mr. Google.)
She had big mats and little mats, and medium sized mats. But that’s nothing compared to Annsley’s story. When she was a little more than a year old she was rescued from a cage in a crack house. (I sure would hate to live in a house with cracks, too.) Other than to be made to have puppies, she had spent almost her entire short life in that cage. In the meantime, the nice lady had just lost both her parents. She had intended to get a yorkie, but with her tragic losses, she had forgotten all about it until a rescue person brought Annsley into the vet where the lady worked. Right then and there the lady fell in love with her and they have been together for three years now.
Anyhow, because of the cage she had to live in when she was so young, she would freak out about the metal cages at any groomer’s. She would shake so hard that the lady had to give her pills before taking her. Plus, the last groomer cut her skin in two places (and made her look bad by shaving the hair down the center of her nose).
After hearing the story, Mom remembered John the UPS man, who had told the nice lady about Mom. She remembered how John loved his tiny yorkie with all his heart. Mom thought maybe this was also a God-thing. Today, when Annsley came, she shook a tiny bit, but seemed like she wasn’t hardly scared at all. Mom had promised to not put her in a cage and that she would be the only pup in the grooming room. Annsley did great, even without any pills! When the lady…
(Xena) Lucy! Can I tell the rest, huh, please? I’m the one who got to play…oops, I think I gave the rest away.
(Lucy) Yep, you did. But the rest really is your story, so go ahead.
(Xena) Well, you see, the lady couldn’t come get her for about 87 minutes or hours (Mom: it was a half hour) so she said to go ahead and let her come upstairs and play with me and Lucy. Woo hoo!
Hi, I’m Annsley.
Hi, I’m Xena. Why do you keep running away from me?
I don’t know where I am and you’re bigger than me.
I won’t hurt you, I promise. Come on, let’s play.
Who’s that outside? That’s Lucy. She’s my sister and she’s wa-a-a-y bigger than you and me both. You don’t have to worry, she wouldn’t hurt you.
Well, I think I’ll just stay here until my Mom comes.
So that’s the story of how I almost got to play with a dog smaller than me. Maybe next time…she’s coming back in six weeks.
I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Play Puppy Princess
Hellooooo…anybody there? Will someone please open the door? I’m ready to come in.
Let. Me. In!
I am Xena the Schnauzer Warrior Princess, who finally got the staff to open the door for me.
Good day. I am Ludwig and I have come to live with Frau Amy and Fraulein Xena at this glorious cathedral of Heilige Luke. During the night when no one else is here I am guarding this valuable printing machine of Frau Amy. Today, however, I decided it was time to meet the little Prinzessin Xena.
Greetings, Prinzessin Xena. Herr Ludwig at your service.
Mommy! What or who is this?
But I told you, Fraulein, it is I, Ludwig.
Who are you really? Why do you talk funny? Why are you in my office? Sprechen!
You are even more beautiful from here, young Welpe. Ich liebe dich.
Come closer, lover boy….
After a narrow rescue from a potentially deadly encounter, Ludwig has wisely determined it is best to admire the Frauline from afar.
I feel lousy.
Of all the humiliating things to happen in life…I’ve been “on my period” for over a week. It sucks. I hate my diapers.
Mommy says I am a big girl now, but these make me feel like a baby again. And not in a good way. I never had to wear these things when I was a baby.
Mommy got me what she calls “big girl panties.” I think that’s a fancy name for washable diapers. She has to safety pin them to my shirt so they don’t slide off. It’s ’cause I’ve got a stubby little tail like Angel Lexi, so there’s nothing to keep them in place but a pin and a prayer. Mommy even stuck me with the pin last night. Was it my fault I was moving around trying to see what she was doing? Now I know why she says, “Ow!” a lot when she changes me.
And to make things worse, I’ve had the squirts since Saturday. I feel lousy. I can’t make it outside in time so I have quit even trying. Then I have to get my bummie washed and a clean diapie on. And sometimes the nasty stuff squirts out of the diapy hole where my tail is supposed to be. It’s all very icky.
Since my period started, I don’t take my toys out to the hallway at work anymore. I don’t go to Miss Beth to get baby-held anymore. I don’t even play with Lucy anymore. I understand (sorta) that this misery will make the hormones do their job in making my bones good and other things like that. She says I only have a few more days of feeling down, of my emotions going crazy. I wonder if she has ever been through this.
This Valentine note is for my girl Sophie.
Sophie, you can see I am wearing my new hoodie for you, sweetheart. There are lots of hearts all around me to show you how I feel. You are still my one and only and the best girl I know in Blogville.
With love from your guy, Piper.
Mom: Surprise Xena! We are in Paris for Valentine’s Day!
Xena: Oh. My. Dog. So that’s why you gave me this scarf that says Paris all over it. Quick, take my picture in front of that pointy thing, or nobody is going to believe this.
Mom: Don’t you want to get closer?
Xena: Nope. This is close enough. It’s big and pointy and I’m not sure if it would hurt me. *click*
Mom: How about this, Xena? It’s not as big and it sure isn’t pointy.
Xena: But what is it?
Mom: It’s a national monument, and it’s called the Arc de Triomphe. Napoleon, the French Emperor, had the Arc built over 200 years ago . He wanted to honor the Grande Armee, the name of the French army at that time. The Grande Armee had conquered most of Europe and was then considered invincible. In other words, no one could beat them at war.
Xena: That’s nice. Now can we go somewhere more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey. Let’s walk around Paris for a while.
Xena: Look Mommy! It’s a pet store like the Smart Pet place back home, but it’s got my name, “Moustaches.” Let’s go in here!!
Mom: Yes, we can go in, but what do you mean? Your name is Xena, not Moustache.
Xena: My name is Xena the Schnauzer, and schnauzer means both snout and mustache in German. That’s how my breed got that name.
Mom: Huh? How do you know that, Xe Xe?
Xena: Sometimes, when I’m working on my new puter – you know, the one I got for Christmas – I talk to Mr. Google and he told me. *whispers* But I only do that on my official breaks and at home.
Mom: If you are done browsing in Moustaches, let’s go get something to eat.
Xena: How about here? It’s real pretty and it smells good, too.
Xena: Oh goodness, my chicken salad was good. I thought le garçon was going to faint when I asked for the chicken livers raw. Et la steak tartare, oo la la! C’est magnifique!
Mom: Xena! You’re speaking French!
Xena: Really? The words just sort of came out. Did it sound ok? Could you understand me?
Mom: Certainement! How about if we go up to montmartre. Are you ready for lots of outside stair steps, like over 300?
Xena: Race you!
Mom: *pant pant* Here is one of the most famous cathedrals in all the world. It is called *pant pant* Sacré-Cœur, or *pant pant* Sacred Heart.
Xena: Ohhhh, let’s go inside.
Mom: Well, if they’ll let us.
Xena: I’m the church puppy. Of course they will let us!
See, I told you they would let us in. My, this is so, so big! Does God live in here?
Mom: No, sweetie. God lives in you and me and all of his creatures. People come to places like this to worship God together, and to feel his love and his presence within themselves. God is the goodness glue that holds all of the universe together.
Xena: Do you mean the Methodists, Mommy? Cause that’s the only church I’ve been to.
Mom: Not just the Methodists, Xe Xe. God loves everyone: all Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, people of all faiths, and even people who don’t have their own faith. We are all his Valentines and he loves us all.
Xena: Happy Valentine’s Day, God!!
Mom: *smile* Let’s look around, precious girl. Do you see all the little alcoves off of the nave?
Xena: What’s a nave, Mommy?
Mom: It’s another word for a sanctuary, like we have at work at St. Luke. Anyhow, two hundred years ago when France had kings and queens and other aristocracy, those families paid the Catholic Church to have their own little chapels to worship in, right there off of the main cathedral. They could also pay to have a crypt where they would be buried after they died.
Xena: Ewwww. Do you mean someone dead is in that box? Ewwww.
Mom: Uh, maybe we should look around outside some more in montemartre…
Xena: Mommy, I’m really tired. Can we go home now? Will you carry me?
Mom: Sure, Xena. I love you, my little Valentine. ❤
Xena: Happy Valentines Day, Mommy. I love you to Paris and back!
Mom’s note: Please click Xena’s postcard to find everyone else who celebrated in Paris.
Just when I was feeling really low ’cause of my (ex)boyfriend skipping out on me, a very handsome kittie with a heart as big as Texas (or Canada) put a smile on my face and wag in my tail. Purrince Siddhartha Henry sent me my first ever Valentine’s Day Card.
Yes! I will be your Valentine, Siddhartha Henry. (I think that will make me your Purrincess for the day.)
With love always,