I now star in my very own video on You Tube. My Dad made the video. It is inspirational, as well as very good because, well, because I am the star.
Say “Free.” Say “Free.” Say “Free.” It’s been 87 seconds and I’m starving here.
We join Comedy Plus for (almost) Wordless Wednesday (a day early)
It’s still Rocktoberfest Time on Lookout Mountain, GA. Xena went on Saturday when our cousins from Ft. Wayne Indiana visited, and Mom forgot her phone at home, so no pictures. But she did remember her phone on Sunday when I went, so lots of pictures of me and Dad and Rock City and other Rocktoberfest dogs.
Besides being the best Dad in the whole world, and smarter even than me, and a fantastic polka teacher, my Dad can sing! So the band asked him to join them in singing some of their special German songs, like The Pennsylvania Polka.
First, though, he sang a song that made me feel bad, ’cause I thought he was singing it to me.
Last year my Aunt Bobbi told Dad that I am fat, and because I am not fat! him and Mom joke about it all the time. But then he sang this song that goes I don’t want her, you can have her, she’s too fat for me…
To help me recover from that trauma Mom said, “Let’s go explore the trails.”
We took off down a less busy trail and I enjoyed the smells and the beauty.
The Goblins Underpass sounded foreboding, but I had to be at least as brave as my sister was when she entered the Under-Cliff Passage.
There wasn’t anything too scary, or even any munchrooms to eat, and pretty soon I saw daylight and the stairs leading outside.
Once I got out from underground, I found these gnomes busy doing something, I don’t know what.
We went back to the pavilion where there was lots of music and I visited with a couple who were from Atlanta. They met Xena last year, and they are really good petters. I only got in a little bit of trouble when I ate the rest of the lady’s hot dog. She said it was ok, though, that she didn’t really want it anyhow. Mom took a lot of pictures of the other dogs enjoying Rocktoberfest, and she will share those next time. Let’s close with Dad singing the song about where Mom was born.
Licks and wiggles, Lucy
I’m getting ready for my first Freestyle competition. We’ve tweaked our routine and I’ve got my part down. I am having sooo much fun! Mommy is going to take me to work with her in a few weeks and we are going to leave in the middle of the day to drive to Winston-Salem, North Carolina. *bounce bounce bounce* I’m going to get something called a title. I already have the title of Princess Warrior. I wonder what my new one will be. Anyhoo, here is the newest version of our dance!
Xena Schnauzer Dancing Warrior Princess
Can you believe that I got stuck in my kennel all day on Saturday while Mom and Dad took Lucy somewhere. The only place I could think of was that they took her to the vet. I was mad about being left at home, but I hope she’s ok. She was too worn out when she got home to tell me anything.
My peeps must have felt bad about leaving me home cause they took me up the mountain today to Rock City’s Rocktoberfest.
Daddy needed to warm up his dancing, so he (sorta) asked me to dance with him.
There was more fun stuff and other stuff that was kinda scary. Mr Rocky was in the pavilion dancing, and then he ran over to the bench where I was sitting with my Daddy and grabbed a tam grrr eeen.
He terrorized me with it! Daddy said Rocky was just having fun and entertaining everyone, but it sure made a lot of noise.
Mommy took me walking along the trails. The temperature was real nice, what Mommy calls “sweater weather.”
This little gnome was watching to be sure everyone stayed on the trail, like the sign said. I told him I was sorry, but I had to go off-trail for a quick potty break. He was nice about it and didn’t chase me away.
Next, Mommy took me exploring. We went into the mountain. I remember doing this last year, and I survived it, so I screwed up my courage and off we went.
This strange-looking guy was behind these bars, but he looked pretty happy. He had a big jug of something and a giant mushroom. Mmmm, mushroom.
A little further down was this old man and woman sleeping in their bed, and they were also behind bars.
I wonder if they are dangerous, or being punished for something, or maybe it’s just like my kennel, to keep them safe. I wonder if they get a food puzzle when they get stuck in their kennel.
Before I knew it, things got really dark.
I could hardly see going down the stone stairs or around corners, and I’m a lot closer to the ground than most peeps.
Soon, everything got weird, kinda psychedelic.
Maybe I shouldn’t have tried that munchroom, er mushroom, the fellow behind the bars offered me.
When we finally got out of the mountain, a woman was standing as still as a statue, with a bird sitting in her hand.
She welcomed us back from Sheol and made the munchroom effects go away.
We finally got back to the pavilion where there was food and beer.
Daddy had bought a new mug, so Mommy got it filled with beer and she got a beer cheese bowl to eat. While she was eating, Daddy held me in front of the pavilion and people asked if they could pet me and take my picture. I would have rather sat and ate with Mommy, but no one asked me what I wanted. I sure hope I get to go back (and get some cheese and beer)!
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess at Rocktoberfest 2019!
I got to go to Rocktoberfest on the very first day with Mom and Dad. Just me! Mom says please forgive the shadow–the day was sunny and warm with a nice breeze, and Mom got in the way of the sun.
We walked the trails, up and down stairs, through fat man’s squeeze, and saw some strange things, like this fellow here.
This is a gnome. He was distracted and didn’t see us.
Along the trail, I posed on this hard block shelf in a cutout in the mountain.
Then I decided it was time to keep exploring.
Which way now?
It was time to take a drink and snack break. Mom shared her pork and sauerkraut with me, and let me taste her locally brewed Rocktoberfest beer.
I didn’t like it very much, so I decided to stick with water.
But do you know the very best part of Rocktoberfest?
Everybody asked if they could pet me. And they did! And they told me how beautiful I am and sweet, too. I had to keep apologizing for hitting them with my tail; I just couldn’t help it cause I was so happy!
With wags and wiggles and smiles, I am Lucy the happy Rocktoberfest dog.
We are joining Comedy Plus for Happy Tuesday.
Xena: Mommy took a picture of me and Jen Jen Bear and played with it on PicMonkey.
Which one do you like best? Really. Which one? If you get the right answer, you win an all-expense paid vacation to…
Lucy: Xena! Stop it! You can’t give a vacation away. You don’t have money to pay for it, and Mom would have a fit. Where did you get such a lame-brain idea, anyhow?
Xena: They do it all the time on TV. I didn’t know I would need money. I just thought it would be fun.
Xena: Hey! Where’d the picture of that pig Morty come from? Don’t anyone vote for that one or you won’t win!
Lucy: (Te, he, he.)
We are joining Comedy Plus for Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.
I like pillows. A lot. I try out lots of different pillows, for lots of different purposes and in lots of different positions.
Last Christmas Mom dressed the pillow I like on the couch in a holiday dress. She didn’t fool me, though; I knew it was my big, comfy pillow.
Sometimes I hide different parts of me under or behind a pillow. I didn’t want anyone to see me wearing my big girl panties.
Sometimes I try new positions on my pillows.
Sometimes I hide so no one knows where I am. I can watch what they are doing like this, with no one seeing me.
Mommy got me a fancy new pillow, and after the first night, I didn’t want to use it any more.
Once in a while I would carry it out of the bedroom and leave it somewhere else in the house. Then, one night, I changed my mind. I thought about it a while and got it just right.
Xena, Pillow Connoisseur and Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Hello friends. Lucy, Ace Reporter here today to report on another fantastic groom. This little shih tzu was referred to Mom by his grandma. She told her daughter, “You’d be crazy not to go to my new groomer!”
This is sweet 1 1/2 year old Rhett when he first got on the table. His previous groomer had cut his eye and didn’t tell his mom. They figured it out, though and got him treated in time to save his eye.
He’s still sort of a wiggly puppy, but Mom was very careful and patient with him. When she texted his mom to say he was ready to go, his mom asked if he could stay another hour. They just weren’t used to having him ready so soon, but that’s how Mom works. One dog or family of dogs at a time show up, get groomed, and go home. Anyhoo, Mom said yes, and brought him upstairs to visit with us.
It took a moment for him to get the layout of the house, but Rhett was feeling good and strutting his stuff. Of course, he quickly found the most popular room in the house.
Xena sniffed his bee hind and he growled, then Rhett sniffed her bee hind and she growled. Then they did the nose touch saying, “Let’s be friends.”
Lucy, Ace Reporter, signing off with wiggles and licks.
Hi there. Well, we’re back from our visit and I panted and shook in the car some on the way home but mostly I slept on Mommy’s lap while Daddy drove. It’s a good thing Daddy was driving ’cause Mommy was sleeping, too. We meant to leave early, but first the folks went to Sunday school and church together and then they went out to eat at Moby Dicky’s Restaurant in Hendersonville near the church they had gone to. Then, when they got back to us, everyone was sleepy, so the guys took a nap while Mom and Aunty Jen curled up on the couch with me and Morty. Ella and Lucy took turns getting on the couch with us cause there wasn’t room for everyone. Anyhow, that’s why we didn’t get home until 9:00 at night and why me and Lucy didn’t get any supper. Grrr. That’s the sound our tummy’s made all night.
Morty and I are still the same size. I think I could take him in a fair fight, but I keep getting yelled at when I chase and bark at him. Hey, he grunted at me first!
Outside, Morty always kept his nose in the grass.
My Uncle Bill held me whenever I asked him to. He’s a good schnauzer holder. And I ran and ran in their big back yard. I got Lucy to chase me, too. She got too hot and would start to chase me when I asked her to, then stand back and let me run the big circle by myself.
You know what else happened while we were gone? Why Lucy didn’t want me to blog about us being there? Like Mommy told her, “If you don’t want Xena to tell everyone, then don’t do it in front of her.” Have you guessed?
Yep! Her and Achilles played kissie face. It was pretty disgusting. They kept licking each other’s tongues and mouth and sometimes Achilles would walk past her and give her a quick kiss. I think my sister’s in love.
I am the Grossed-out Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior
When last we met, we were on our way to visit our Uncle Bill and Aunty Jen and our cousins, Ella and Achilles and piggy Morty. Even with her Thundershirt on, Xena panted and shook like a freight train the entire three hour drive. For a short time she fell asleep and we had some peace.
Ella and I picked up right where we left off as BFF’s. When she first saw me jump out of the car and run to the gate she growled and I stopped. Then she apologized and said she was just out of her mind excited that I was there!
I dared Ella to try to curl her tongue like I did. She sure did try! She even threw her head back to get her tongue to curl better.
Shortly after we arrived Achilles got stuck in his kennel, Morty got stuck in the bathroom, and everyone left us to our own devices. (I heard that somewhere and have been waiting for a chance to use it.) The peeps took Mom out for another birthday dinner. Well, it was actually a lunch, so I guess that’s one of each. They went somewhere that there was an antique car show with really old cars parked up and down the road, their hoods up and doors open. They ate at an Italian restaurant, where Mom got the lasagna that was dripping with hot, gooey cheese. (Please excuse me while I wipe the drool from my mouth.) They got home early afternoon, and then the fun for us began.
Achilles wanted me to watch him play with his ball. He loves to run and play with balls.
We had all been wandering over to where Morty was chomping on the grass because he is such a curiosity to us. Achilles even offered him his ball, but Morty wasn’t interested.
Us woofers ran and played together in the big back yard. Morty and Xena oinked and woofed at each other occasionally, but no blood was shed.
Later that night all the peeps went dancing. They went to National Ballroom and Co., owned by David Hamilton, worldwide ballroom dance champion. Mom was hoping to get to dance with David, but he wasn’t there. She and Dad had even taken a lesson from him once when he was in Chattanooga. Mom gave Uncle Bill a refresher course in rumba.
Him and Aunty Jen, they danced all the rumbas and the ones Mom calls “belly rubbers.” The rest of the time they enjoyed watching everyone else dance. They took this picture of Mom and Dad swing dancing, but the lighting wasn’t very good.
Before we left the next day I got on the couch and saw Morty on Aunty Jen’s lap, with his little snout sticking out of the covers.
I tried to do a nose touch to say, “Let’s be friends,” but he tried to bite my nose. I guess he didn’t want to be friends. Aunty Jen explained that I don’t speak pig latin and he doesn’t speak dog sign language. So I guess it was just a miscommunication. In any case, I won’t be trying that again.
Tomorrow, Xena will tell you more about our visit. I tried to tell Mom that no more needed to be told, but she just laughed and shook her head.
Wiggles and licks, Lucy
Lucy: gorgeous green
Xena: powerful purple
Our Mom had a birthday and our Dad made a big deal about it.
He made her his special chicken dish and pasta and fresh broccoli. We didn’t beg at the table; we just wanted to stay close to Mom on her birthday. Honest.
Our Aunty Jen and Uncle Bill are crazy lots of fun. They sent her this happy birthday message.
Later in the week Mom’s friends at work had a little party for her and someone named Lester who had a birthday the same week. They sang happy birthday to her and Lester and had special sweets.
You might know that Mommy works at a place called a synagogue. I don’t like it cause I’m not allowed to go to work with her like I did at the Methodist church. But Mommy seems to like it anyhow, which I totally don’t understand. So, what I wanted to tell you, is their big sanctuary had been closed down for a long time, and finally got repaired. They had a big party to celebrate the dedication and reopening just before something called High Holy Days. Mommy and Daddy went to celebrate with them. They had something sacred called scrolls carried in from the chapel, where they had been worshiping after they couldn’t use the sanctuary. They passed the scrolls up the center aisle then danced around the sanctuary to music, carrying the scrolls, until they were passed up to the “ark” on the “bimah.” Mommy taught me those words. See, I could be a great help to her at work. Anyhow, someone took this picture.
That’s Daddy handing the sacred scroll to Mommy.
After that part was over, they ate and drank wine and visited with everyone and generally had a great time while we sat at home waiting for them.
Lucy: But we have been getting some good walks when the temperature cools off a bit in the early evening, just before twilight. Every day we get a nice walk is a special day. E”special”ly if we see people who pet me or if I almost get to chase a cat.
Dad asked why we don’t walk as nice on the leash as Riley (center). I pointed out that we also don’t spend 87 minutes every walk reading pee mail like Riley does.
I heard we’re all going to Aunty Jens and Uncle Bill’s this weekend. And I saw Mommy packaging our food. I’ll get Uncle Bill to hold me and see if Morty has gotten bigger than me.
And I’ll get to play with Ella, try to make friends with Morty again, and maybe even get another kiss from Achilles. So today is going to be another special day!
We can’t wait to get on the road! Kisses and wags from Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Lucy, and Riley, too.
A few hours later…
Lucy: What happened to ye, little Bilge Rat?
Xena: Ye call me dat agane and I be sure to ferget ye saved me life. Ye see, some udder pirate took ze day too far and blew up me ship. I was havin a taste a grog and suddenly like, boom! I twas thrown into da briney.
Arr! I’ve decided to stay home and play with my inflatable pirate ship. At least, if it gets a hole in it, I’ll land on the floor.
Pirate Lucy and Pirate Bilge Rat Xena surviving Talk Like a Pirate Day and thanking Shoko, Tyebe and Bud from The Canadian Cats blog, as well as Da Phenny and Da Nelly from the Easy blog and Kismet the curmudgeon parrot from http://Kylascott.com.
Hi friends. It’s been a ruff summer. There’s lots of fleas where I’ve been living with my Dad, Andrew. Dad had been working hard to get rid of the fleas on me with spray and a flea comb and had even put some top spot stuff on my back. That helped, but I still didn’t want to go in the house or the yard ’cause I was afraid the fleas would get me again. And with my flea allergy, even one bite turned into agony.
Amy the Enforcer decided to help me. She convinced my Dad (she’s his mom) that I should go on vacation to her house and spend time with Lucy and that dam schnauzer. The one that, when Amy brought her home, I cried out, “Oh sh**t! Not another schnauzer!” then jumped off the chair and ran into the bedroom. You know, don’t you, that Amy the Enforcer threatened to kill me with her bare hands if I ever hurt her precious schnauzer Lexi. That opened the door for Lexi to rule over me for years. And Lexi was never one to miss an open door. So you can see why I was so dismayed to see another one become part of the family. Uh, in case you are wondering, I had a DNA test, and I have absolutely no schnauzer in me. I am 50% pittie, 25% lab, and 25% mix of catahoola leopard dog, dog du Bordeaux, and boxer.
Jumping back to the here and now, the first thing Amy the Enforcer did when she got home and saw that Dad had, indeed, brought me here was reach into a box just delivered from Amazon and put a Seresto flea collar on me. Then I got banned to the garage for 24 hours until the collar had done it’s thing. Sure, she fed me and gave me water and walked me and even petted me. But it was lonely and I really missed my Dad.
Finally, I was allowed upstairs with Lucy and Xena. I haven’t seen Xena for a long time, and she seems to be pretty chill with me – well, at least as chill as a schnauzer can be, right? She doesn’t think she can boss me around, and seems to have forgotten that I deaded her favorite stuffie, that racoon, so I’m ok with her now. Lucy’s been her sweet self, welcoming me and letting me know she’s still my friend. We’ve even been playing just a bit. I do feel better now that the fleas aren’t still biting me, and will feel even better when I stop itching.
Then, the next blow (or cut) hit: my nails. I’m a fanatic about not getting my nails cut. I scream. I thrash. And I’m strong, yes very strong. A vet, 3 techs and Jeff all working together couldn’t hold me down to cut them. My nails have gotten very long because I’ve stopped chewing them. I heard that’s a bad habit. Amy the Enforcer said I had to have my nails cut before the dew claws grew into my leg, and she was just the little lady to do it. I thought, “Sure, lady, just try.” Wrong attitude. She dragged my 70 pounds into the bathroom, plopped me into the tub and got the bottom of the tub wet. Then she started cutting. I tried to scream but she gave me “the eye.” I tried to get away but the bottom of the tub was too slick. I started to lift my lip in a snarl to try to scare her but she is one tough cookie. She took the leash off my collar and tied it around my nose and neck, and I couldn’t open my mouth. Just a precaution, she said.
My nails are still pretty long, and I’m glad. Amy the Enforcer said the quick had grown out, which means it would have hurt and they would have bled if she had cut them any shorter. She did get one dew claw to bleed, but I don’t think she meant to. I licked it for a long time afterward and got some pity steak scraps. Not sure if it was worth it, but the scraps sure were tasty. I overheard her say that she will take a quarter of an inch off every week I’m here, and the quick (the hurty part) will recede. Umm, Dad, when are you coming to get me?
Hey Luce, can you believe it’s already been a whole year since I had to pose for this picture?
We had a new azalea last year. That’s the one you posed beside. It’s a nice picture of you, too, Lucy.
That was our new, 3 season azalea. It bloomed again in the spring for a short time. In the spring it looked like this.
Later in the spring, Mommy called the place where she got it, Holcomb’s Garden Center. It had a warranty, and she was thinking about returning it. They told her that it doesn’t bloom continuously for 3 seasons, but it would bloom again in the summer. Well, in the summer, it was deader than a thumbnail.
Lucy: That’s a door nail, Xena.
Xena: Whatever. Anyhoo. by then Holcomb’s was OOB. That’s short for Out of Business. Can you believe it? So now it looks like this.
In case you’re wondering, that’s a hole in the ground where the azalea bush used to be.
Well then today, Mommy ran out to the store without me ’cause we live in the USA where they have stupid laws about dogs and stores and she came home with a mum. Mom came home with a mum! BOL, BOL! So, to kill two words with one stone…
Lucy: It’s birds, Xena. It’s to kill two birds with one stone.
Xena: Why word you want to kill birds? And I really don’t see how you could kill two of them with the same stone. Anyhoo, no matter what you kill with one stone, or if yo don’t want to kill anything at all, or if you just want to kill one word or bird or…
Lucy: Xena, enough. Please just get to the point.
Xena; Mommy decided to put the table out over top of the hole where the azalea used to be and put that mum that is not her on it and take my picture with it again. Happy Flower Friday, folks.
Pee S, The pretty plastic aura around my head is ’cause I itched a hot spot under my ear. More about that later.
Thanks to Rosy from the LLB Gang for hosting another edition of Flower Friday
It started out with me going out front because Mom wanted to get a picture of me next to her dying hostas. She sure does kill a lot of plants. Or maybe she doesn’t kill them, something else does, and she just doesn’t notice until it’s too late. I’m just glad she’s better with dogs than she is with plants. Can I get an amen on that? Or maybe just a head nod?
What I didn’t know is that I was walking into the bowels of hell. It was so hot I coulda fried an egg on the sidewalk. That is, if I had an egg. Uh, hey Mom, can I please have an egg? Is it suppertime yet?
Wiggles and wags, Lucy
This is Lucy, Ace Reporter, on the Groom Beat. Today I want to introduce Bailey. Bailey is almost as big as my little sister, but she is “small boned.” She is a Chorkie – a chihuahua and yorkie mix. Even as small as she is, it used to take someone holding her for Mom to be able to cut her nails. This time, however, Bailey behaved wonderful on the table. That’s a grooming term, you know – “on the table.” Bailey doesn’t have an undercoat – another grooming term – so Mom always gives her a “scissor cut.” Yes, another – well, you know.
It was Bailey’s peep brother’s birthday, so they dropped her off on the way to a birthday brunch. When Mom went outside to greet them and get Bailey, the birthday boy got out of the car and told Mom it’s his birthday and he’s 22, and then he gave her a big hug. It was hard to understand him, and he looked different than other peeps I’ve met. But I could sense that there was something special about him.
When it was time to pick up Bailey, her peeps were still at the restaurant and waiting on some of their food. So Mom brought Bailey upstairs to play with Xena. Xena started out by being her barky self until Bailey jumped up onto Mom’s lap and laid down the law to Xena. When she got down, Xena jumped up. Without a second thought, Bailey jumped back up and they shared Mom’s lap – or at least the chair – until Bailey’s folks got here.
Wiggles and wags from Lucy, Ace Reporter.
Three years. Three years since Lexi lost her battle and I was forced to let her go. I can’t lie. It wasn’t pretty. I waited too long? She had seizures all night and was mostly gone by the time the needle went into her vein. Don’t we always feel guilt, thinking we either acted too soon or waited too long. I’m one of those waited too long people. I kept asking her if she was ready, and I never got a yes. At least I never understood her if it was ever a yes. Lexi stayed with me for my sake for as long as she could. In the end, neither one of us could stop it with a simple no.
Lexi was my heart dog, and so much more. She was my partner, my inspiration. I clearly remember the evening at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre when I felt God tell me that He had given Lexi to me to bring joy to others. And she did. That’s how she lived her life. She brought happiness and laughter – even if it was only for one night – to 7,000 people during her six week, 24 performance run as Toto.
She went on to become a therapy dog, where she continued to bring joy to folks, this time one-on-one. There was the hospital worker – an elderly black gentleman who was also an ordained preacher – who never touched the therapy dogs at the physical rehab hospital. He was a bit afraid of them. When he saw Lexi, he smiled, reached out to pet her, and said, “This dog is something special. God has blessed her.” During the same visit she sat in the lap of a young man in a wheelchair while his therapist chatted with me and another worker. I always kept an eye on what was happening with her when we were doing therapy, or “therapizing” as she and I called it. Every time the young man stopped petting Lexi, she nudged his hand and he would start petting her again. This went on for about 15 minutes, quite a long visit compared to most. As we were walking away, I heard his therapist say, “That was great! You actually lifted your hand.”
Lexi especially loved going to the Children’s Hospital, which she did faithfully every month for 10 years.
Even before I had this revelation about Lexi’s mission in life, she was busy bringing joy to people. For three years Lexi rode for an hour every week with me and Jeff to help teach ballroom dance to a group of home schooled teens. She even knew the halfway point where we pulled off the highway to get dinner at Mickey D’s. She was a Mickey D’s type of girl. Lexi would stand up and stare out the window when we would be getting close to the exit. Of course, she always got the fries. Back to teaching dance. How can a dog teach dance, you might ask. Here’s how: The kids would be lined up with their partner, trying out the dance step we had just taught them. Lexi would walk along the line of students, watching each one. She would stop in front of a dancing couple and bark. By then, everyone knew what that meant, and the other students would laugh while the “chosen” ones would hang their heads. I would go over and ask them to show me what they were doing, and there was always something wrong with it. Somehow, Lexi knew. Then we would put on the music for them to practice, but before they could practice, Lexi would come to me and stand on her hind legs for me to take her front paws so she could “show them” how they were supposed to do the step. OK, so maybe she couldn’t exactly do the step correctly, but in her mind she sure was. That done, she left everyone in peace to practice. By the way, rumba was her favorite.
When Lexi was just one year old, my elderly mother moved from Pennsylvania to be near me, and started out in an apartment within a block of where I lived. Mom loved dogs and kept Lexi every day while I was at work. It was a good arrangement for them both. On one occasion, when I came to pick up Lexi, Mom declared that Lexi was a “kind” dog. She said she had felt so sick all day and Lexi just laid her paw gently on her leg to comfort her. Eventually, Mom broke her hip and the rehab didn’t help, so she ended up in a nursing home. When we would go to visit, Lexi wouldn’t stop to see any of the other patients until after her visit with her Grandma. On the way out, however, she would “therapize” anyone who needed her. One time we thought Mom was dying after aspirating her chewing gum. Jeff, my son, and I were sitting vigil around her bed, with Lexi sitting on the bottom of the bed, never taking her eyes off her for an hour. Suddenly Mom opened her eyes, lifted herself up and cried, “Lexi!” with a great big smile on her face. I must admit, that was the only time I ever felt jealous of my dog.
Jeff and I had planned our backyard wedding for October 16, and my Mom passed suddenly on my birthday, exactly one month before that. Because Mom loved Jeff so much we decided to go ahead with the wedding. Of course, Lexi was in attendance and hoping for a big slice of wedding cake. We felt like Mom was also there, smiling at us.
Did I mention that Mickey D’s was Lexi’s favorite food? During the last year of her life, she was shopping with me at the local Ace Hardware store. I checked out and was ready to leave, but Lexi had other plans. The cashier had not given her a treat – you know, like you get at the pet store or the bank drive through. So she refused to leave, and just stood there staring at the cashier, as if by sheer force of will she would make her give her a treat. The cashier kept apologizing that she didn’t have anything to give to Lexi, and I finally got her to at least step back so other people could pay for their purchases. Normally, I would have picked her up and carried her to the car, but my arms were full of what I had bought. After a very long five minutes, it dawned on me that there was a McDonald’s across the street. I said, “Lexi, do you want to go to McDonald’s?” She looked at me and headed for the door in consent. Of course, we went to Mickey D’s and she got an ice cream.
Lexi also got Mickey D’s on most of her birthdays.
So, even though I try to eat healthy, and even though I mostly eschew sugar, tonight, for supper, I honored Lexi. While Jeff’s gluten-free pizza was in the oven, I drove the mile down the road to Mickey D’s and bought a hamburger, small fry and hot fudge sundae. And since they were on special for only $1, I added a large Dr. Pepper. I ate it all, and it was good. So now I sit here, wired up on sugar, unable to sleep, thinking about my girl. Lexi. I hope, wherever she is, there is a Mickey D’s.
Xena: I’ve heard that the weather is always a safe topic to talk about, so let’s start there today. It’s been stinkin’ rotten hot. It’s been so hot we haven’t even had our walks. In fact, it’s been hotter than a boy in heat.
Lucy: Don’t you know that boys don’t go into heat?
Xena: Sure I do. But you’d have yelled at me if I’da said that other word that starts with a “b”. So I’m making the weather a safer topic, ya see. So then it cooled off a bit after it rained cats and hogs and…
Lucy: It’s dogs.
Xena: What’s dogs?
Lucy: What it rained.
Xena: Yes, it rained. Anyhoo, that cooled it off enough for us to go out and play. I dared Lucy to try to catch me, and off we were on a chase through the dog lot.
I ran and ran in circles, and sometimes Lucy ran off the patio and tried to catch me, but I was too fast! I was in Warrior Princess mode, don’tcha know. All the grass was gone right there in front of the patio door, causing the dirt to get all soft and wet. Lucy got me on my back there and rolled me around a bit. (I let her.)
Lucy: Yep. Then Xena got me on my back and rolled me around a bit. too. (I let her.) After we’d done that for a while, Mom came over to see how muddy we were. I wasn’t muddy at all. I have super hero hair. It glows in the sunlight and keeps me from getting too hot. Fleas and ticks slide off it like a 5-year-old child off a water slide. The cold can’t get through it, and now we know the mud doesn’t stick to it. I got a pass on a bath.
Xena: I have super hero hair too. It doesn’t fall out all over the house and end up in big piles around the walls and the furniture. All that nasty hair around the house belongs to my sister. Apparently, though, mine isn’t mud-repellent.
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