Achilles – Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy, Chia and Riley

We’re leaving in a fast car…don’t know when we’ll be back again.*

Published on June 3, 2022June 4, 2022 by Xena and Lucy27 Comments

Xena: It’s been quite a visit. I learned a few things, like what it’s like to have unwanted attention, how to let someone down easy, how good pig poop tastes…speaking of which…

three days ago in Auntie Jen’s back yard

Mom: Xena, stop eating that grass and come on in the house….Xena….do you hear me?? Xena!
Mommy walks toward me and sees this (WARNING: The next picture contains a poop image and may not be appropriate for all readers)

Mommy: OMG, you’re eating pig poop!
Xena: Don’t freak, Mommy. Wait, why are you texting Auntie Jen? No, please don’t make me vomit, I won’t do it again (paws crossed).
As it ended up, I wasn’t forced to vomit and my tummy never even got upset! However, a couple of days later, Lucy also discovered these delectable morsels. Mommy suspected Lucy had eaten some, but since I didn’t get sick, she didn’t do anything about/to Lucy. Then at 2:58 a.m. Mommy woke up to a retching sound. One of the big dogs jumped off the bed and there was a vomiting sound. The culprit jumped back in the bed and acted like nothing had happened. Mommy finally got up and turned on the bedroom light. She saw a pile of fresh-ish meat, apple, broccoli, and some unidentifiable matter. . yep, it was Lucy’s. After that, she began cleaning the yard up every day and following us around outside.

Xena: Yesterday when Mommy opened Morty’s Bathroom Apartment door for him to come out for supper, she found this:

That’s Morty’s Teddy facedown in Morty’s used litter. Did Teddy need to go potty? Or maybe he was hungry!

Xena: That takes us to today, and boyfriend drama. *sigh*

heard very early this morning…

Achilles: I wish you wouldn’t keep your back to me, Lucy

Lucy: I wish you wouldn’t flirt with my little sister.

Later in the morning:

Ella: Hey girl. I hear you’re leaving soon. Love you, friend.

Lucy: Hey girl. I love you too, friend.

Xena: I’m sorry, Achilles, that I hurt your feelings. I want you to know it’s not you, it’s me. I just want to stay single and close to my Mommy.

Why are you looking over my shoulder, Achilles?

Achilles: Lucy! I’m so glad to see you! Ignore her. You’re my girlfriend, remember?

Lucy: Goodbye, Achilles. I’ll see you next time. I’m going to have to think about our relationship.

Achilles: Why do girl dogs have to make it all so difficult? I’m a good boy. Everyone says so. Xena is just…different. She looks and acts so different than me or Lucy. That’s why I keep looking at her. Maybe next time I can just look at Lucy and she’ll be happy.

Xena: Uh, Mommy, after my shampoo and blow dry and pedicure, I’m ready to go home and cuddle in my daddy’s lap. I’m even ready to play with Chia. I hear she and Riley have been playing a lot while we’ve been gone. I also heard she managed to get the porch screen door open and had a bit of a runabout.

Are you packed? Are we ready to go? I call dibs on the backseat kennel!

*John Denver, I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane lyrics:

All my bags are packed I’m ready to go I’m standin’ here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye But the dawn is breakin’ It’s early morn The taxi’s waitin’ He’s blowin’ his horn Already I’m so lonesome I could die So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go ‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go There’s so many times I’ve let you down So many times I’ve played around I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing Every place I go, I’ll think of you Every song I sing, I’ll sing for you When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go ‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go Now the time has come to leave you One more time Let me kiss you Then close your eyes And I’ll be on my way Dream about the days to come When I won’t have to leave alone About the times, I won’t have to say Kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you’ll wait for me Hold me like you’ll never let me go ‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go But, I’m leavin’ on a jet plane Don’t know when I’ll be back again Oh babe, I hate to go.

Morty vs Achilles

Published on May 31, 2022May 31, 2022 by Xena and Lucy23 Comments

Hi people. It’s me, Sir Mortimer. But you can call me Morty. Did you hear what happened to me? Achilles tried to kill me. No, really!

Here’s what happened: It was nice outside, and we were all – and by all I mean me, Ella, Achilles, Lucy and Xebe, or Xela, or something like that. Aunt Amy was there too…she was brushing Achilles. She was brushing him hard and fast and hair was flying and he was loving it. I came over to see what all was going on, not knowing he was “in the zone.” He jumped at me and grabbed my ear and bit down. I screamed, and that just fueled his fire. He scraped the skin off the top of my ear; he punctured the side of my face; he scratched the top of my neck and head. I just kept screaming. It hurt, and I was scared. *squeal!* I am a prey animal after all, and he’s a predator. Did you know he’s bigger than me? I’m just a poor little 150 pound pig with a waddle. To make things even worse, the other dogs started closing in on me. It’s something called pack behavior. Aunt Amy kept screaming at them to stay back while she worked on getting Achilles off of me. I sure do wish I had a pack to protect me.

Aunt Amy – I’ve just started calling her that – saved me. I was bleeding and really freaked out. I could tell she was too – freaked out that is, not bleeding. She took me to my bathroom apartment so I could calm down. Afterwards, she shut all the dogs in another room and let me come in the kitchen with her. She sat on the floor and kept talking real nice and soft to me, and I decided I could trust her, that she is my protector. So I laid down in front of her. She pet me until I got back up and moved next to her. Then I laid down and got pet some more. Finally, I moved onto my side and let her rub my belly. We’re friends now. And Achilles had to sleep in his kennel the last two nights.

Why am I always in trouble? I hope I get to sleep in the bed tonight.

Anyhow, with a lot of treats to bribe me, I let Aunt Amy wash my boo boos and put medicine on them. That was two days ago, and it’s not hurting anymore and it’s all starting to heal.

None of the dogs (except Lucy) are allowed out when I’m grazing and playing in my swimming pool. I’m a happy piggy again.

Love, grunts, oinks and squeals, Morty

Hard Time Helpers

Published on May 28, 2022 by Xena and Lucy18 Comments

Hi, this is Lucy, and since I’m the Ace Reporter in the family, I was asked to let y’all know where we are. Our Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill have to be out of town for a very difficult situation in the family involving someone they love very much. I’m not at liberty to give details. But I can tell you that Mom brought me and Xena with her on a three hour drive to take care of my BFF Ella, my boyfriend Achilles, and the pig Mortimer, aka Morty. Let’s see how it’s goings…

Lucy: When we arrived last evening around supper time, Ella was super excited to see me and I was grinning from ear to ear. It was past our supper time (we had driven to where it was an hour earlier than where we live) so Mom got right on with fixing everyone their meals. She read the instructions Auntie Jen left and had just scooped Achille’s food into his bowl when Morty the pig threw his nose up against the bottom of her hand that was holding the bowl. Kibble flew everywhere and we stood back while the race was on between Mom and Morty. Who would get the most kibble from the floor!? The kitchen floor is slick for someone who walks on hooves, so Mom was able to keep pushing Morty back, but he was determined. In the end, we think it was a tie.

After breakfast today, we all got to go outside for a while.

Mom knew to shake the treat bag when she called Morty to come in. He came running!

He got a treat for coming, then some more when he followed her back to his “bathroom apartment.”

Then Mom checked on the rest of us…

Mom: Ella, what are you doing?

Xena: She’s hunting chippies, like I do, Mommy.
Ella: Mmph, mmph.
Mom: Ella, please get your head out of there.
Lucy: After Mom made Ella move her head, it appeared that Ella had been licking dirt and stones. (Sounds more like a Chia move.) So Mom put something over the hole. That’s when Ella decided she wanted to go back in the house, too.

Lucy: I spent the whole day outside enjoying the sunshine and the grass and the big yard.

I rolled and watched birds and shared the yard with Morty and sometimes Xena and Mom, too. Achilles had to stay inside most of the time because of his allergies.

But when he was out here, he had a good time. Mom threw his toys for him to chase and he played keep away with her.

After Xena snoopervized Mom “cleaning” the yard, they both went inside, too.

Mom: Come on Xe, let’s get all those allergens off you with a nice bath. Wait, what are you doing?

Xena: I’m practicing my “back” for Freestyle. See how fast I can do it?

Mom: *catching Xena* I know you had a bath yesterday, but (and here comes those dreaded words) it’ll be good for you.

Achilles: What’s goin’ on? Xena, you gettin’ a bath?

Xena: What’s it look like, Achilles? Did you think I was running the 500 or something? Sheesh, you can be almost as big a dufus as Angel Lexi used to say Riley was.

Xena: Why do you keep staring at me?
Achilles: I like to watch.

*meanwhile*

Ella: Lucy, you might want to check out what’s going on in the bathroom.

Lucy: Achilles! What are you doing?

Why are you in here with Xena when she’s taking a bath?

Xena: He said he likes…

Achilles: *interrupting Xena* Uh, well, you see, she’s your little sister, and I like to make sure she’s OK. Looks like your Mom has everything under control and I can leave now.

Lucy: Mom, when are we going home?

Mom: Well, friends, it seems my Ace Reporter is done reporting today, so I’ll help her sign off with wags and hopes that Achilles and Lucy make up tonight.

Lovesick

Published on December 19, 2021December 18, 2021 by Xena and Lucy18 Comments

We are joining The Cat on My Head for Sunday Selfies.

Achilles: Is that a Christmas present for me from Lucy?

Dad: No, Achilles, it’s my birthday present from your Mom.
Achilles: Are we going to visit Lucy over Christmas? We missed Thanksgiving, you know.
Dad: I’m sorry Achilles. Right now, it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to because of your Mom’s work schedule.

Later…

Achilles: I miss my girl so much. It’s seems like 87 months since she was here.

Ella: I miss Lucy too, but I try to not think about it.

Meanwhile…

I sure do miss Achilles. Maybe he can hitch a ride with Santa Paws in his sleigh to come visit me. I think I’ll go to sleep now and dream about my dreamy guy.

We are Achilles and Lucy, the lovesick pups.

Awww Monday: Final Chapter of Our Visit

Published on October 18, 2021October 17, 2021 by Xena and Lucy31 Comments

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

Xena: Thanks for holding me Auntie Jen. You’ve had a busy day and I’m glad to be here for you. Uh, where’s my Uncle Bill? Did Mommy leave my comb so I could look pretty for him?

Lucy: Mmph, mm, mmph. *pushes up head* Ah, I couldn’t talk with you laying on my head, sister. I want to be next to you, Auntie Jen, and cuddle and let you know I love you, too.

Xena: Is it time to eat yet? Where’s my Uncle Bill? Mommy gave him the instructions for feeding me, um, I mean feeding me and Lucy.

*Later*

Achilles: Ella? Don’t you wanna play with me and Lucy? What’s wrong?

Ella: My back legs hurt. You know, the ones I had surgery on. Mom warned me about running and playing too hard, but I was just so excited that you’re here, Lucy.

*meanwhile*

Xena: I’m rested and ready to help you with quotes again, Uncle Bill. I think I got us a lot of liver treats yesterday!

Uncle Bill: Yes, well, about that…uh, I think we’re all set with liver treats, and I’ll have them sent to you when they arrive. How about if you just cuddle here on my lap while I work?

*later*

Achilles: I love you, Lucy. I want you to live here.

Lucy: I love you too, Achilles. I would stay here with you and your sister Ella, but I can’t ’cause it would break my Dad’s heart. Why don’t you and Ella come home with me? You’d have fun playing with Chia – if you didn’t mind her hanging off your cheek – and we could be together forever.

Achilles: I can’t, my love. Riley and I don’t get along. I can’t stand the thought that he used to be your boyfriend. Grrr.

Lucy: But I never loved him like I love you, honey.

Both: *sigh*

Lucy: Mom and Dad will be here soon. Please ask Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill to bring you to visit me. And take good care of my BFF Ella, please. Bye bye until next time. *smooch*

I’m So Excited!

Published on October 17, 2021October 17, 2021 by Xena and Lucy31 Comments

Lucy: Are we there yet?

Five minutes later...

Xena: I heard Mommy ‘splainin to Uncle Bill all about how to feed me and Lucy. That’s when I realized I was gonna get left! Aghh! After her and Daddy left, I laid by the back door for 87 minutes waiting for her to come back, while the three “biggies” got all the excitement out of themselves.

Uncle Bill works from home, and everyone collapsed in his office. Since I hadn’t been running around like a crazy dog, I was able to help Uncle Bill with his work.

Uncle Bill even texted Mommy to let her know how great I was helping him with quotes on Dell products. Let’s see, I think this one could sell for about a gazilion liver treats. I love my Uncle Bill. Hmmm. Maybe it won’t be so bad being here for a few days after all…as long as I get to cuddle with him all night.

To be continued…

Dog Bed War

Published on January 9, 2021July 11, 2021 by Xena and Lucy21 Comments

I’m Shania, and I like sleeping in the big bed.

Riley isn’t always here, so if I want to use his bed, I will.

I knew Angel Lexi and deserve to use this bed that was hers after all the crap she put me through.

This is MY bed. I inherited it from Angel Lexi. It’s a schnauzer bed.

This is the bed Mommy bought just for me. Sometimes I let my stuffies sleep in it with me.

I made a bed out of the dirty laundry pile. *phtt* What do you mean, my beard needs washed again? Aghh!

Recap of Our 2020 in Pictures

Published on January 1, 2021January 1, 2021 by Xena and Lucy32 Comments

Our friend, Miss Monika from Tails Around the Ranch posted this picture, and gave us permission to show it to all our friends. It says so much about how we all feel.

A few of my favorite pictures/moments of 2020. ..

January 2020 (below) We were at our friends’ house in Nashville, blissfully unaware of how the year was going to play out.

February 2020 (below) We actually got some snow!

March 2020 (below) just before our world changed. We got pictures sent to us of Morty celebrating his first birthday.

April 2020 (below)

May 2020 (below)

June 2020 (below) Xena enjoyed turning 3 years old.

July 2020 (below) We got a baby in the home office and dogsat while our friends went on a trip.

August 2020 (below). We travelled to be with family in Indiana to celebrate Jeff’s Mom’s 90th birthday.

September 2020 (below). Still working in my home office with the help of Xena and Lucy. Our new back, enclosed porch was finally finished, and Xena found a way onto the table.

October 2020 (below) Lucy and Xena joined the Zoom service with B’nai Zion and became BarkMitzvah-ed. Lucy’s new Hebrew name is Ora (light or shiny), while Xena’s is Grrvurah (warrior, sort of). We took a trip to an Air B&B in Kentucky for our 12th wedding anniversary, and the pups stayed with our frineds in Nashville.

November 2020 (below) The weather was unseasonably warm and sunny. Our Nashville friends joined us for thanksgiving, and then we leftall four pups home with the dogsitter while we spent a long Thanksgiving weekend at an Air B&B in North Carolina.

December 2020 (below) OK, so the first one is still from November, but just had to include it. Riley is back with us for a while, and so is his Dad Andrew.

Have a very good 2021, from Lucy, Xena, Achilles, Ella, Morty, Riley and Amy

A Long Weekend without Our Folks

Published on November 28, 2020August 16, 2021 by Xena and Lucy27 Comments

It sure is a long weekend without our Mommy and Daddy here. Our cousins are here and so is our dog and house sitter, Miss Christy. She’s really nice, but I still don’t like her much because it means my Mommy won’t be back for a while. But at least Miss Christy feeds me.

I keep looking for my Mommy. No one else seems to care.

Ella has stolen my chair. She has taken over my place as the official neighborhood lookout. Actually, I think she is watching for her Mom and Dad to come back, too.

Ella: “Look, Achilles, is that their car?”

Then there’s big, goofy Achilles. Him and Lucy, they keep licking each other in the mouth. It’s so gross. Hey, you two, get a room! Miss Christy thought it was too private of a moment to take pictures of them playing smoochie face. When Achilles isn’t playing house with Lucy he helps watch for all our folks to come back.

Achilles: “What, Lucy? You want me to sleep in the sun with you? OK, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Then there’s my very own sister Lucy, who only cares about her stupid boyfriend and her BFF and hogging Miss Christy’s lap.

Lucy: I’ll try to not fall asleep before you get over here, Achilles, honey.

I get mad when I come into the living room needing a little attention and there’s Lucy, in the person’s lap. Grr. I give them both a dirty look and lay down in the living room dog bed to wait them out. As soon as Lucy jumps down I forgive Miss Christy and get in her lap. She’s actually a really good petter, but shhh, don’t tell anyone I said that.

Does anyone know where my foks went and if when they’ll be home?

Xena Grruvah Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Where Oh Where Did Mommy Go Part 2

Published on October 21, 2020August 21, 2021 by Xena and Lucy25 Comments

Xena: Days and nights passed in a fog. It seemed like I was waiting for years.

I passed the time running in their really huge back yard, faster and faster, trying to make time run faster too. (It was really fun.) I spent my nights cuddled between my Uncle Bill and Auntie Jen, pretending they were my folks. At least Mommy loved me enough to make up my meals ahead of time for Uncle Bill to put together and feed me.
Each day was much like the one before it.

I found it amusing to run up to that pig called Morty, bark, and run away. I’m too fast for him, so he would go after Lucy, who isn’t as fast in tight places. To get back at me, Lucy kept reminding me that she is now an engaged dog. (Like I care!) This started even before they left.

Meanwhile, my folks were off somewhere walking around neighborhoods where they saw scary plastic ghosts and witches.

They walked a mile to a restaurant where they ate Hawaiian pizza and glazed salmon and veggies while they watched students from Murray State University walk their dogs and ride their bikes. They went to a state park and walked a couple more miles until it was almost dark. And before all that they walked to the downtown farmer’s market and got me and Lucy almost a ton of frozen chicken necks! So they were thinking about me.

After almost two whole ~~years~~ days when I had about given up, I heard our car pull into the driveway. We all spent one more night at my Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill’s before it was time to go home. I saw the suitcases being packed and put by the back door. So did Lucy, who kept asking if she could stay, at least until Thanksgiving when everyone is coming to our house.

*hop, hop* Take me too, take me too! Pick me up! Don’t forget me! *hop, hop*

This is Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess back home with my Mommy.

Where, Oh Where Could my Mommy Have Gone?

Published on October 19, 2020August 21, 2021 by Xena and Lucy33 Comments

Xena: Last Friday was the anniversary of our folks being married for 12 years. We thought maybe there would be a party with presents and ice cream and cake. Instead, Mommy kept talking to me about what a good time I was going to have at my Auntie Jen’s and Uncle Bill’s. And she kept telling me to please try to be nice and cuddle with Auntie Jen, ’cause it hurts her feelings when I only want Uncle Bill to hold me. This all sounded very suspicious and I made no promises.

Lucy: Mom told me, too, at the last minute before we got in the car, and I was so excited! I was going to see my BFF Ella and my boyfriend Achilles! I could hardly wait!

Xena: It’s a three hour drive to the other side of Nashville, and our dinner was very late. By the time we got there I was so hungry that I was shaking and crying. It was two hours past my suppertime, and it wasn’t even our “fast” day.

Lucy: I was so over-the-moon excited when we got there that Mom couldn’t even get my car harness off me. Ella and Achilles and I immediately started playing. After we got our supper and settled down a bit, Xena hid in the chair with Dad. Me and Achilles had been playing kissie face, and he asked me to come over to my Dad with him, ’cause he wanted to ask Dad something.

That’s when Achilles asked Dad if he could marry me! I thought I would faint for joy. Dad thought about it for a very long minute, and finally said we could be engaged. I think that’s almost married, so I was really, really happy. Xena wants to be an old spinster, but I want to be happily married like my Mom and Dad.

Xena: I don’t know what a spinster is, but I don’t like the sounds of that and I don’t want to be one. I just want to be independent. Why do you think I hate my harness so much? So quit calling me mean names just because I don’t want to play kissie face with every boy dog that comes along. Grrr.
So back to our trip. Morty the pig has gotten so much bigger. He weighs about 70 pounds now, the same as Riley. I upset him by barking and jumping at him. Lucy and I went somewhere safe.

Is Morty gone?

Yep, it’s safe to get down.

*A little later*

Achilles: Mr. Jeff, I need to tell you something. Come closer.

Achilles: *smooch* You are the bestest ever almost father-in-law.

Next thing we knew it was morning and Mommy and Daddy were carrying suitcases and stuff and going out the door. I just knew she was leaving me when she picked me up and handed me to Uncle Bill. It was terrible. I was afraid she’d never come back.

She promised she would be back, but it has been so long. Lucy doesn’t seem to care. She’d be just as happy living here. I will let you know real soon what happens. Love, Xena the desserted.

Lucy: Oh Xena, you’re so melodramatic. But you’re probably right. You’ve got those dark spots now, and, well, who knows? (te, he, he) Love, Lucy

Aww Monday-Vacation Over

Published on July 13, 2020September 4, 2021 by Xena and Lucy32 Comments

Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting Awww Mondays.

Achilles and Ella went home with their dad yesterday. They were so thrilled to see him that they forgot to say goodbye. But we have precious memories of their time here with us.

Achilles is a cuddle bug, and loved time on the couch with Uncle Jeff.

Achilles is fighting severe allergies. He was recently allergy tested and has the sea rum (serum) like Xena. When we could monitor him closely, he didn’t have to wear his hood (cone) or Rambo suit.

When all 80 pound plopped down on you, you felt it. Xena usually stays pretty close to her Mommy, so care had to be taken that he didn’t plop down on top of her when he also wanted to be close. Such a sweet, happy boy. He wiggles all over, and just wants to be loved.

This is Xena greeting Achilles (after she stopped barking at him).

Ella and Achilles also liked the same chair in the living room. Maybe it was because of the “guard” schnauzer on the pillow watching over them.

That’s where Ella slept most nights, with the blanket her mama made her under and over her.

The pictures below show what close friends Ella and Lucy are. It took 1.5 seconds for this wonderful relationship to begin.

Rock City’s Rocktoberfest 2019. We hope Rock City will be open for Rocktoberfest again this year, and are able to do it in a safe way.

Oh, and for those who asked, yes, Achilles did get his time back in the home office after Xena ran him off. He even got his “hood” or cone off for a while.

Achilles found a spot on the corner of Lucy’s bed. She didn’t move over for him, but she didn’t mind sharing, either.

For now we will say adieu, with hopes next time comes sooner rather than later.

Lucy, Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and the Mom

Achilles & Ella Vacation Day 8

Published on July 11, 2020July 10, 2020 by Xena and Lucy19 Comments

Lucy: I came in to kiss you before I go to work. That’s what Mom and Dad always do. But I see you’re in da Hood. I’m going downstairs now. See you tonight, honey.

Achilles: What does she mean, she’s going to work?

Ella: So, this is where Aunt Amy works? She’s home with you all day?

Lucy: Yeppers. And this is where I stay with her all day and help her. Sometimes Mom’s assistant is here with her dog Hank, and sometimes Bridger, her little baby person, comes, too. I like that a lot.

Ella: I think I will stay right here and help Aunt Amy, too, since it doesn’t look like her assistant or Hank or Bridger are coming today.

Lucy: Which reminds me, where’s Morty? I was so excited about you and Achilles being here with me that I forgot all about him.

Ella: I hear that your Mom didn’t feel quite ready to take on caring for him yet. We know a vet who takes care of pigs like Mortimer, so he is boarding him while we are on vacation.

Achilles: Hey y’all. What are you doin’?

Hi Aunt Amy. What’s everyone doin’? Can I do it too? Where’s Miss Brooke? I helped her yesterday when she went in the bathroom. I didn’t want her to be lonely in there all by herself. She sure looked surprised ~~and didn’t get the door shut fast enough~~ and pet me while my head was on her lap. I thought she might need some help today, too.

Xena: Hey! What’s going on here? Why’s everyone in my office?

There’s not room for two of us with cones on down here. You’re gonna knock something over or break something, Achilles. Go over by the fridge and lay down, or go upstairs or something. You’re in my way. I want in Mommy’s lap. I need to sleep there so she can work.

a few minutes later

I thought I was in da Hood [see previous post] with Xena. She sure is fickle…and bossy!

The Mom: Sometimes it’s more of a zoo than a workplace around here. It’ a perk of working from home!

Lucy, Ella, Achilles and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Achilles & Ella Vacation Day 5

Published on July 8, 2020 by Xena and Lucy23 Comments

Lucy: You look bored, Ella. Why don’t you tell me a story about what’s been going on at your house. I heard some of it from Achilles, and now I want to hear it from you, girlfriend.

But you didn’t want to hear how I almost died, Lucy. *thinking* OK, I’m going to give you the quick version.

I stopped eating ’cause I felt uncomfortably full. And I stopped pooping ’cause it couldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried. I felt all “bloated.” My regular vet who I love couldn’t help me ’cause she didn’t have the diagnostic equipment, so Mom spent most of the rest of the day trying to find someone who both could and would help me. Seems a lot of docs aren’t taking new patients during this awful COVID-19 thingie. Finally we went to a great dogtor who used a machine that could see me inside and I had something called a blockage way down in that messy coil of intestines. Can you see the ring on my front arm? That’s where they shaved me and put in a needle to help me go to sleep for my surgery. They fed me and gave me drinks like that too for a while, until I was able to eat again. Do you see the huge black square on my tummy? That’s where they shaved me and cut me open and removed the block from inside my tummy. Who knew my skin is black!?

Lucy: I think your black skin is beautiful, Ella. That is a very scary story, but it has a happy ending. Umm, I’m also glad you gave me the short version!

Ella: Me too, I’m thirsty now. But first, tell me some more about stuff that’s been happening around here.

Lucy *thinking*: Hmm. OK. Riley was spending a lot of time here. Can you believe he still has an ear infection that’s been going on a year or more?

He seemed to really like being here, and would even ask my Dad to play ball with him every night. The first time he asked, he stood right in front of Dad, staring at him, and started barking that really loud, deep bark of his. Dad’s usually really good at understanding us, but this time he just looked over at Mom with a “Why is he doing this?” look on his face. Mom knew right away. “He wants you to play ball with him,” she said. I don’t know how she knew; I mean, even I didn’t know. But she can “read” that boy. After doing the same stare and bark two nights in a row, Dad finally knew what Ri-boy wanted at the same time every night, and would get up and play ball with him.

Ella: He is a good looking dog, isn’t he? I wish he liked me, but he was pretty hateful to me the only time I’ve been around him. I really don’t understand it. I like everyone and everyone likes me! We could have made pretty puppies when we were younger… *sigh* But what about his ear infection?

Lucy: Oh yeah. Mom picked him up from Andrew’s and took him to the vet. They came to the car and got him and took a little of the gunk out of his ears to do a culture.
Oh, and me and Xena went too, and gave blood for our twice-yearly DNA HW test, which came back negative. In this case, negative was a good thing.
Anyhow, about a week later, the new vet – who never met Riley – called and said he has two types of staph in his ears, and they would work him in to treat it. She said it would be fast and easy to clean out his ears and put in the medicine. I could see Mom covering her mouth and her whole body shaking. I was afraid she was having a seizure, but turns out she was trying not to laugh. Finally, she told the new vet that four grown men can’t hold him to clean his ears or cut his nails. But he trusts his dad Andrew to clean his ears, so she promised that he would do that before she brought him. At the vet’s, the vet techs put the medicine in his ears while he was still in the car. He wore a “just in case” muzzle, but he was surprisingly good. Now we’re waiting to see if it works.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen…

Xena: Hey ‘killies, when’d you join the gang?
Achilles: I don’t know what you mean.

Xena: We’re both “in the hood!” BOLOLOL!!
‘Killies: *groan*

Lucy, Ella, Achilles and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Ella and Achilles on Vacation: Day 2

Published on July 6, 2020July 5, 2020 by Xena and Lucy20 Comments

Achilles: So, Lucy, to continue with telling you about the stuff I have to put up with at home… that pig! After all this time, he hasn’t even learned our language. He goes around grunting at us and using body language that me and Ella can’t understand. I used to try to stay out of Morty’s way, but it gets so tiring.

Lucy: But what does he do? And what do you do, my darling?

Here, let me show you Morty’s latest travesty.

I was sleeping peacefully on the couch when he jumped up, laid down next to me, and threw his back leg right across my nose, in front of my eyes. Aghh! I guess it could have been worse…

Lucy: What did you do, dear? Did you bite him?

Achilles: No, no, no. I might look big and intimidating, but you should know I would never hurt a fly. Well, maybe a fly. But I’m a pacifist, like you. Sometimes I get a bit worked up when I see other boy dogs, but I try to keep it under control. Anyhoo, here’s what I did.

Achilles: Enough about me. What have you been doing, beautiful?

Lucy: Hmmm. Mom’s been extra busy grooming during this COVID thingy. I’ve been working tirelessly helping her.

Sometimes I catch the hair so she doesn’t have to sweep it up. And when the pup on the table is nervous, sometime this makes them laugh!

We’ve been getting quite a few new and “haven’t been here for a long time” dogs in to be groomed. The last one was a tiny Yorkie puppy. Dog, was he a handful. Literally.

Chief: Let me go! I don’t want whatever you’re selling!

Finally, Mom agreed to let him lay in her lap while she worked on him.

Mom must have taken her patience pill that day. She said that Chief is only about three months old, and this is his first groom. First grooms are hard on everyone, so she tries to make sure the pup doesn’t get scared.

Achilles: How did it end? Did Chief survive? I’ve never been groomed, or even watched a groom.

Lucy: Like you showed me pictures to explain things, I’ll do the same for you. Here’s how it all ended.

Achilles: What happened to the table in the “after?” Did Chief get so light from losing all that hair that he floated?

Lucy: BOL! Mom just played with the picture so that Chief was the sole focus, BOL!
Give me another kiss and then let’s go see what Ella’s doing and if my Mom’s fixing us anything for lunch.

To be continued…

They’re Here!

Published on July 5, 2020July 4, 2020 by Xena and Lucy26 Comments

Priscilla, you know you can’t push me out of this chair, right?

They’re coming, I just don’t know when. It’s daylight. I thought they would have been here by now. What’s taking them so long? You can keep scratching there, Prissy, that feels good.

They’re here! Let’s go welcome our best friends!

Happy Fourth of July, Achilles! *wag, wag, wag*

Hi Lucy! You look as beautiful as in my dreams, girlfriend. Hey, do you like my new camo outfilt? I wear it when I’m itchy. Do you think I look silly?

Lucy: *swooning* You look like Rambo. He’s this tough, sexy guy on TV. Only you’re much more handsome.

Ella: Come on Lucy, let’s go play a little. I can’t play too hard, though. I’m mostly better, but I’m still recovering from surgery. I almost died, you know.

Lucy: No!! Don’t even say that. Let’s go hang out. Are you coming, Achilles?

Achilles: What do I smell on the counter? It smells sweet.

Lucy: Oh, it’s just the 4th of July cake Mom made. She doesn’t share cake with us, but you might get some fruit later. Let’s go outside with everyone.

Achilles: Hmm. I think it’s too hot out.

I’ll just lay down here ~~near the cake~~ on the cool floor. You girls go on.

Xena: Where’s Achilles? I don’t trust him.

To be continued…

Lucy, Ella, Achilles and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Happy Hearts Day

Published on February 14, 2020February 13, 2020 by Xena and Lucy15 Comments

Lucy: I’m sending a great big smoochy kiss to my guy, Achilles. Isn’t he dreamy?

Our Visit- Ella, et al

Published on January 28, 2020January 27, 2020 by Xena and Lucy20 Comments

Hi, this is Xena again. I read in one of Angel Lexi’s posts that she loved the phrase et al, so I had to keep reading to find out what it meant. I quickly discovered it meant whatever you want it to mean. So, let’s start with who is still the reigning queen et al.

Ella, Queen of her Domain, et al

Lucy: Ella and I are still best friends, et al.

Speaking of et als, Mom asked me to include this picture in our post today. She thinks it’s a lovely picture of me in Auntie Jen’s living room.

We all fell back in like we had never been apart.

Here I am between my BFF Ella and my guy Achilles, et al, watching a black cat walking along the fence line. We saw him on and off throughout our visit.

Xena: We all spent a lot of time after lunch sitting around visiting and snoozing in our chairs. There was a dog for every person, plus a bonus pig for Auntie Jen et al.

Achilles picked Mommy as his bed.

Lucy: The real reason we came this particular weekend was to celebrate Aunty Jen’s birthday – and also Dad’s birthday that was last week. Oh yeah, and Lucy’s, too. So the peeps went out to the “Snow Ball.” Dad and Mom et al danced all evening to a big band.

Mom danced so much her left foot felt like it was getting a blister (it wasn’t), and Dad danced so much his previously injured ankle started to scream. But they said it was too much fun to worry about a little pain.

Xena: Aunty Jen and Mommy got up really early on Saturday morning to do a pod cast or something like that on Facebook, I think. All I know was that Aunty Jen was talking into a camera while holding up clothes called lularoe and Mommy was frantically unpacking a box, ripping open the bags, hanging the clothes and numbers on hangers, and handing them to Aunty Jen. I made the mistake of hanging out with them, and got used as a “sales tool.” I didn’t even have my beard washed or combed, and it was so early that I was still in my sock monkey jammies. It was rather embarrassing, but people kept typing in comments about how cute I am. *grin* So anyhow, if you want to buy any lularoe for Valentine’s Day – or anytime – Aunty Jen is selling them. Tell her Xena sent you.

Love and wiggles, Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, back home et al.

Christmas at Last

Published on December 28, 2019December 27, 2019 by Xena and Lucy20 Comments

Did Santa come? Can we open our prezzies? What, not until Daddy gets back with brother Adam?

Lucy: We let our guests go first. Achilles got an empty, Santa covered water bottle, and he loved it! He worked and worked on it until he got the bottle out. Then the fun was over. I think he was disappointed that there was no stuffing in the stuffie!

Xena: Morty got reindeer ears and an empty bag that he tried to eat. Oh wait, the bag wasn’t his prezzie, he just grabbed it from someone else.

Lucy: Mom made doggie cookies for Morty and Achilles and Ella and they all scarfed them up. She packed them up some more from the freezer to take home. Some of them had pumpkin, and some of the cookies had tomato in them. They all were salt and sugar-free, with no preservatives or artificial anything. We weren’t allowed to have any because of all the carbs interfering with our stomach acid pee H.

Xena: But we did get Dogurt. It’s a new doggie yogurt that Mom found right in the dairy section of the grocery. Later we got real live beef soup bones. A big one to fit Lucy’s mouth and a smaller one for me to chew. Our peeps brother Adam sat outside with us until we got all the greasy stuff off them so we didn’t get it all over the furniture.

Lucy: Our friends, Chloe and Chaz -who stay with us sometimes and who Mom grooms – gave us this blanket. Do you see the heartbeat?

Xena: Lucy got a weird bone thing that she doesn’t want and neither do I or Ella.

Mommy said it’s OK for her to give to Achilles the next time she sees him. We’re sure he’ll like it.

I got new stuffies. No bears, ’cause they always go away to hibernate in the winter – except for Winter Bear – and then they empty our fridge when they are done hibernating. They get like zombies trying to eat the brains of Cone Heads. We don’t actually stock brains for them, but we make sure there’s plenty of berries and stuff to satisfy their extreme hunger from not eating all winter.

Anyhow, I got Chip, who is siting in the back closest to me. His big eyes and teeth kind of scared me at first, but I’m getting used to it. And puppy Oscar the Schnauzer. And the other dog is a stray and doesn’t have a name yet. Any suggestions?

Lucy: Brother Andrew got here just in time for dinner. Him and brother Adam were really glad to see each other, and were acting goofy. Mom said it was like how me and Ella act when we see each other after being apart.

I don’t know why “all good things must end.”

But maybe it’s so we can get some rest and be ready for good things the next day.

Love, Peace and Joy from Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Christmas Eve Eve

Published on December 26, 2019December 26, 2019 by Xena and Lucy17 Comments

Lucy: My bestie Ella and my guy, Achilles came with my Uncle Bill and Auntie Jen to spend Christmas with us. Morty the pig came too. I loved having them all here. Morty made himself right at home.

Morty is 9 months old, so he’s still a baby even though he has grown a lot since we saw him last. He’s now 21 pounds and a little bigger than Xena.

Xena’s new favorite place is between the otto man and the love seat. It didn’t take Morty long to discover this cave-like area and try to claim it as his own. Xena was laying there with Mom’s legs over her, spanning the gap between the love seat and otto man when Morty entered the tunnel and laid down facing Xena.

He kept creeping closer to her, and she got scared and backed around the corner away from him.

Xena: I wasn’t scared! I was just practicing safe pig. Not like you were doing, Lucy. We all saw you kiss him with your tongue halfway down his throat! Mom just wasn’t quick enough to get a picture of it.

Lucy: It’s not what it looked like! I was just trying to give him a little hello kiss on the snout when he opened his mouth in a big yawn.

Anyhoo, the peeps sat around talking the first night, and it got kind of boring.

So Ella decided to turn the attention on her, while Achilles sought attention from his Dad.

Hi Uncle Jeff. Do you remember me, Queen Ella?

Ella: Hold still and let go of me, I want to kiss you!

Achilles: Ella, let me show you the way to do it.

You’ve gotta get your paws up around his neck and lean in. Aghh! He’s got me by the ears!

Xena: While they were attacking my Daddy, I cuddled up in my Uncle Bill’s arms. (I knew Daddy could take care of himself–he’s big and strong and my hero.)

I love Uncle Bill and he held and pet me until I was so tired that I had to lay on the floor and go to sleep cause no one would go to bed with me. Besides that, I could see Achilles running back and forth around our bed looking for my basket of stuffies that Mommy had put up. We found out that he is another stuffie killer, just like Riley. You sure know how to pick them, Lucy.

Lucy: He’s just got that one little fault…

Lucy and Xena: Come back tomorrow for Christmas Eve adventures, when we (Xena, Lucy, Mom and Dad) are left alone all day with Morty (and Ella and Achilles). XOX Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess