Why Is Shania Home?

Shania: Hey guys, I’m back.

Priscilla: Where were you? We looked everywhere.
Shania: You know the Mom’s office got moved out of our house, right?
*Everyone nodding*
So Lambie had to go, too, since she was actually given to the synagogue, not to us.
*Everyone nodding*
Xena thought it would be safer for me to go keep Lambie company for a while than to stay here. Chia had her “deadie the stuffie” eyes on me, and Riley was unpredictable.
Ludwig: I sent out a search party, but no one could find you. And the squirrels never came back, either.
Chippie: You sent squirrels? Squirrels?!
Sweetheart: Never mind that. Sometimes Ludwig gets into the bottom shelf of the pantry. What we want to know is if you’re ok and why you’re back now?
Shania: All the Mom told me before putting me in her carry bag to come home was that we were leaving and not coming back, so tell Lambie goodbye. Oh look, there’s Lucy! She’s the sweetest pup! Aghh, I’m falling!

Xena: Welcome home, Shania. You can ride in my kennel with me again and get magically transported to other places!
Chia: Gotcha!

You’re mine now.
Shania: HELP!!
Riley: Chia! Drop it!

Riley: So, you’re back, Shania.
Shania: *pant, pant* Yes, Riley, thanks for saving me from Chia.

Riley: No problem! Hmm, you might have a flea here…and here…and…
Lucy: Riley, my friend, can I please have Shania? She’s really not worth your time. I know you’re in charge here, and you have much more important things to do, like keeping Chia from swiping your bone, right?

Shania: Thanks, Lucy. One big gulp and I woulda been gone. No wonder the Mom sent me away!

Lucy: Well, you’re back now, Shania, so stay safe, little girl. Maybe you’ll go again when my Mom gets another job. I sure hope I can go, too! And, uh, you might want to wash your ear.

Christmas Week’s Stuffies

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

This can be a dangerous place to live, sorta like a war zone. There aren’t any bombs or gunfire…just Chia, and sometimes Riley. We – Brownie Bear, Rudy and Dino – just got out of the stuffie hospital after encounters with Chia.

Brownie Bear: My eye will never be the same, but I am glad I escaped with my life.
Rudy: Attacking a reindeer this time of year wasn’t too smart. I notified Santa.
Dino: Ouch.

Hey there. You may recognize me as Riley’s Reindeer. He adopted me last Christmas, and I’m the first stuffie he has ever loved. (I love him, too.)

Riley plays with me and then forgets to ask Mom Amy to put me somewhere safe. That’s when that long mess called Chia got ahold of me. You can see she ate off half my antler. I just got out of the stuffie hospital too. I guess I got off easy, but I’m staying up here so nothing worse happens.

Hi, I’m Ski Deer. I help deliver toys and treats to good boy and girl dogs and cats in places where the snow is deep.

I’m staying up here where it’s safe until Christmas Eve when I will leave to help Santa.

Hello. I’ve always, in my stuffie heart, been Lexi’s Eleephaunt. Riley has mistreated me, and then Chia. I’m too old for this crap.

I’ve decided that until it’s my time to go, I’ll just stay up here near my best friend, along with the angel who watches over her in heaven.

Meanwhile…

Riley: Chia! What are you chewing on? I know that sound.

Chia: It’s my reindeer toy and I’ll deadie it if I want!

Riley: I don’t think Santa Paws is bringing you anything this year.

Chia: I don’t care. I already saw Mom buying my presents when we went to the store where they sell dog stuff. Phthhh!

This is all the stuffies and Riley — and Chia — wishing you a good Christmas week.

Stuffie Friends in Crisis on S.S.

Ludwig: Monkey, what are you doing laying here behind the chair? Are you hiding?

Monkey: No, Ludwig, Chia dumped me here, and I’ve just given up. I’m gonna die and no one can help me. She’ll rip me open the same way she did the tape on the back of that chair.

Ludwig: Stay right here, don’t move. *thinking: who should I get, who can help him? The stuffie Support Team!*

Lambie: Monkey, my dear friend, what’s wrong.

Monkey: I was hiding out on the big bed from Riley. It was working, too, ’cause he can’t get up there anymore.

I was happy, daydreaming about the good old days many years ago when the boys were little and played with me all the time. Yep, those were the good old days. The dogs, Sammy and Freda, were never interested in me at all. I just played with the kids all day.

And now, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna…

Lambie: Please stop saying that, Monkey. We all have our time, but it’s not your time yet. What’s wrong?
Monkey: Did you see what Chia did to Eleephant? I’m next.

Xena: That wasn’t Chia. Eleephant got these injuries long before even I was born.

It was probably Riley, and now he’s focused on loving his own stuffie, Reindeer. Ain’t it somethin’ what love’ll do? You need to stop this silliness and go play with your friends and stop interrupting my Sunday Selfie.

Lambie: Come on Monkey. Do you want to go play outside for a while?

Monkey: Maybe. Let’s go quietly while Chia’s sharpening her teeth on that bone. I don’t want to draw her attention to me. Or we could just sit here together and watch the birds and the squirrels and the people and dogs walking by. Thanks for being my friend, Lambie.

We are happy to join The Cat on My Head for Sunday Selfies.

Aww Monday Antics

Chia: Lucy! Wake up! Don’t make me tap dance on your back.

Let’s go outside and play. You said we’d play after your nap. It’s now after your nap.

Xena! Whatcha got? Hey, hey, hey, you got my red bone stuffie!

Xena: It was mine first and still is. It matches my bed, the one I sleep in when I catch you in the big bed with Mommy and Daddy.

Chia: Aww, come on, don’t be sore. Let’s play with it together.

Xena: No.

Chia: Fine. I’m gonna go outside, then. *makes a made dash for door*

I don’t think she saw me grab Elle on the way out.

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

Xena and Larry on Nature Friday

We are joining Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting Nature Friday.

Xena: I was ready to go to bed, and who do you think was in my bed? Larry the Lemur who I got for my June birthday.

Why are you in my bed, Larry? I didn’t invite you, and I think you should get down.

Larry: “But I love you Xena, and I want to be close to you. I can smell your beard from up here.”

Get off me Larry before your demise becomes a lemurick.

There once was a lemur named Larry.
His body was all orange and hairy.
He picked the wrong dog
To jump on her bod
So he got carried off by an eyrie.

Larry: That’s one mean schnauzer.

Lucy: How do I always seem to be the one the stuffies run to? *sigh*

The Mom: Here’s the actual “Nature Friday” entry.

I got some flowers (no idea what they are) on sale at Lowe’s and repurposed an old grill that I couldn’t even give away on the Next Door app. Now I have to figure out what to do with the extra pot of flowers.

Xena’s 4th Birthday

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

It’s my birthday and I’ll bark if I want to, bark if I want to, bark if I want to…
Two people for me to bark at already stopped by the house today. I wonder how many more I’ll get to bark at before we quietly go to bed at the end of my special day.

I started the morning with a nice bowl of cauliflower and cubed deer steak with a topping of finely ground eggshells (for calcium), a squirt of krill oil (to lube me all over), and a dollop of tumeric paste (for allergies). Yummmmmmy!

Then Mommy and Daddy took me for a cooler-than-later morning walk through the neighborhood. Well, Lucy and Chia went too, but I know it was specially for me today. (Riley was still in bed.) When we got back I got my legs and face rinsed off to help keep away the allergies, then played with Chia for awhile before we all settled into our post-brekkies naps. I woke up with all my stuffies wishing me a happy birthday!

Oscar the Schnauzer: We’ve been in hiding since Chia arrived. But our best friend Xena is worth taking a chance for. We love you, Xena! Happy Birthday!
That’s when I got a birthday present – a new member of the stuffie family.

I think he’s a lemer. He’s really soft and cuddly. I might call him Jim. Or Tom. Or Larry. Larry the Lemer. Has kind of a ring to it, doesn’t it?

Then Chia showed up again. She plowed her way through my stuffies like they were celebrating her! Her first victim, er, choice was Chippy, probably ’cause he was out front.

After tickling him and throwing him across the room, she played with Eleephont and dug out two balls and a bone and finally retrieved Chippy and settled down on the couch with me.

You’re disturbing my nap.

Later me and Mommy are going to work on our Freestyle. I’m learning to run over to a pole and touch it with my nose, and then get a treat tossed to me. Then I run back to Mommy and get another treat. This stuff is soooo easy, but I still insist on getting paid. I’m also learning to do pivots with Mommy – I mostly just march in place with my front feet and move around in a circle with my back feet. We do that until Mommy gets dizzy and almost falls over, BOL.

First, though, I get to chose which tuna steak I want for supper. That little blue sticker on the package says fresh caught.

Mmmm, I think I’ll take this one, and Lucy can have the other one. Chia eats kibble, so no sharing with her. Mommy, can we give her just a bite, do you think that’s ok? OK, we’ll offer it and if she doesn’t want it, well, it won’t go to waste.

I am the four-year-old Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior *woof* *woof*

Riley’s Ophthalmology Re-Check

We are joining Brian’s Thankful Thursday blog hop with a special thanks today!

Hi friends. I went back to see the special dogtor today. Everyone there is so nice. They even understand that I’m not mean, I just get scared. They’re always nice to me, and even told Mom Amy that I’m really a sweet boy. *wag*

Before all that, though, I reclaimed Reindeer from Xena. Me and Reindeer, we’re tight, ya’ know? We hang together and I take him running through the house with me, and we nap together. He’s my bud.

Back to my eye dogtor appointment. My sight has been saved! It’s only slightly “diminished,” but I can still see out of it and it’s pretty much back to normal except for how it looks. This picture is shortly before my eye surgery.

It hurt so much I kept my eyes closed most of the time.

This picture is after my exam today. See how wide open my eyes are!

I know it still looks weird, but it doesn’t hurt. The dogtor, henceforth called the “Good Dogtor,” said it should eventually turn more white, but it won’t ever look like before the first dogtor, henceforth called the “Bad Dogtor,” messed it up. It looks like this because of the “procedure” the Good Dogtor did to save it. The veterinary ophthamologist (Good Dogtor) removed some of my inner eyelid and sewed it with the tiniest of stitches over the large and deep ulcer eating away at my right eye. If you didn’t get a chance to read about that, you can hop here to find out more.

Anyhoo, I was a real, real good boy today at the Good Dogtor’s office. He even said I was like a different dog today, which told him how much pain I was in the first couple of times he saw me. I go back in six months for a check-up on my eye, but that’s a long time from now, so I’m not worried about it.

We are all HUGELY thankful for my eye being better.

Your friend, Riley

Awww Reindeer Stuffie Monday

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

Xena: Why did Riley scoop Reindeer up in his cone before he got it off, then dump him on his bed, and just leave him there?

Lucy: I dunno. I don’t fool with stuffies, and I have no idea why Ri does half the stuff he does. I just try to be his friend.

Xena: Reindeer must be lonely. I’ll cuddle with him for a while.

Guess Where We’re Going!

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

Lucy: This weekend I get to go stay with my friend Aoife (Eefa) and Aoife’s Mom and her brother. Her brother’s name is Rauiri (Rory). We haven’t met yet, but I am sure we’re going to be good friends too. This is Aoife.

Aoife is a sof-coated wheaten terrier.

Their Mom is so super nice, I’m wagging all over just thinking about visiting them for a few days. I’m so, so glad I don’t have to ride almost 10 hours in the car and then stay by myself all day Saturday and again on Sunday in a strange place. I can hardly wait to go on my own vacation to Aoife’s!

Xena: This weekend I get to ride in my car kennel a long, long way to Cleveland, Ohio to dance to my music and get my next Freestyle title! We’re going to stay in a nice hotel so we don’t have to get up in the middle of the night and move to a different hotel like last time. Me and Mommy have been practicing all our figures a lot in the basement, and I know just what to do. Daddy’s going to be the videographer – not just for me, but for all the dogs. I might even tell the other dogs that he’s my daddy! Do you remember when I got my first title? It was a year ago last November, before the pandemic thingie hit. If you missed it, or just want to smile again, you can see it by clicking here.

I have to decide which of my stuffies are going with me.

Mommy, I can’t choose. I don’t want to leave anyone behind now that Riley got his cone off. And they all are begging to go!

Mom: Dont’ worry, Xexe. I’ll help a couple of the smaller ones into your travel kennel and they will be waiting there for you when you hop in to go. And I’ll make sure everyone else is safe in your home kennel or up high where you-know-who can’t reach them.

Good! I’m going to go to sleep now so Friday comes faster!

We are Lucy and Xena, the visiting and traveling and performing girls!

Thankful Thursday: These Are a Few of Our Favorite Things

Xena: Today we are thankful for some of our favorite things. I’ll go first. I’m thankful every time Mommy fills my food bowl. I have the self discipline to wait and not dive into it until she says, “Free!” Otherwise, I lose my supper for at least 87 seconds, and that’s a terrible thing to do to a starving schnauzer!

Do you want to know what all I got this time? Green tripe, chickie paw, spinach, saurkraut, orange bell pepper and blueberries! Those are all some of my favorite things!

Lucy: I have a lot to be thankful for too.

I love my friends and am so thankful for them.

• 

• 

• 

From the left, that is my boyfriend Achilles, my BFF Ella and my house buddy Riley.

Riley: I love my reindeer.

I am thankful Miss Amy gave him to me for Christmas.

These are all just a few of our favorite things!

XOX from Xena, Lucy and Riley

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings, When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Today we are joining Brian’s Thankful Thursday, with special thanks to Brian for hosting it!

Stuffie Support Group

We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.

Shania: After meeting Lambie, and asking her for help with our tormentor, she came up with this suggestion.

What do you think, Lambie from up high? Can you help us?

We, the stuffies of Xena, have formed a support group. At one time or another, every stuffie in this post has been a victim of domestic violence. For fear of retribution, we will not name him, the perpetrator. All we will say is that he is huge and red and has lived here on and off for the past ten years. We hope by us speaking out, he will be encouraged to seek help for his violent nature against stuffies.

We have provided a forum today for our abused stuffies to speak out against the violence perpetrated on them.

#1 My name is Eleephant, and I am a victim of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I have lost my left ear and the tip of my trunk. Because of this my hearing and sense of smell have been impaired. My tail is missing, which sometimes affects my balance.

#2 My name is Oscar, and I am a victim of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I lost my nose, and now I can’t taste my food. My beard is permanently messed up, and my eyes are scratched, making it difficult to see “him” coming.

#3 My name is Ludwig, and I am the victim of Schnauzer stuffie love that turned violent. I bear the scars on my right side to remind me how much X loves me.

#4 I am Brownie Bear, and I am the victim of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I lost my nose, and I can’t smell anything. My berries no longer taste sweet. My eyes are scratched, and the distortions make me dizzy.

#5 I am Lexi’s bear. I am a long-time survivor of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I had a happy and peaceful life up until around 2009 when a large puppy – who has grown into a large dog – came to live with us.

Lexi always called him Dufus, although I don’t think that is really his name. My dear friend was helpless to protect me against multiple assaults. I lost both my ears and rely upon sign language. My right leg carries a permanent scar, and my left arm is missing. I had several surgeries and am fortunate to still be here. Rainbow Bear and several other stuffies have sworn to protect me, but there is only so much they can do against Giant Dufus. If their protection fails, I will simply lay down and go to be with Angel Lexi.

#6 I am Winter Bear and I am a survivor of Stuffie Domestic Violence. You can see that my right ear is mostly missing. Even though I like to stay awake and active with Xena and my other friends all winter, sometimes it’s just too much to keep avoiding the Big Dog and I go to hibernate with the other bears.

This is terrible! I knew there had been violence in this house, but not to what extent. I, Xena, pledge to do a better job of protecting you all.

I didn’t mean to hurt you, Ludwig. I got a bit carried away.
Oscar, thank you for not naming me, but we both know who chewed off your nose. I’m sorry.
From now on, if I see He Who Shall Not Be Named coming after any of you, I will get Mommy to help you.

Stuffies: We invite any stuffie out there with issues they need help with to join our Stuffie Support Group. Together, we can be stronger and raise awareness that stuffies have feelings, too.

Return from Hibernation

Xena: Hey, isn’t it about time for my bears to slither out of hibernation?

Lucy: You mean you haven’t seen them? They’ve already gotten their spring baths – you know how foul they smell after sleeping cuddled up together all winter – and they’re looking for food. Go check out the kitchen.

Xena: *running to kitchen and jumping on the stool* Hey! Why didn’t y’all tell me you were awake?!

Riley: Watcha’ doin? Can I have some of those?

Xena: No! Don’t come near my bears!

Mommy, tell Riley to go away and leave my bears alone.

Shania, what are you doing up here with Rainbow and Winter Bear and Jen Jen, and Sweetheart and Lexi’s Old Bear? You’re a schnauzer, not a bear!

Shania: I saw they were all going to the bath, so I asked if I could join them. I wanted to get Riley the Terminator’s spit off my furs.

Rainbow Bear: We’re hungry. We haven’t eaten all winter. Please get us food. Now.

Did you hear Rainbow Bear, Mommy? Aren’t you going to the store? Would you get them some Bear Food?

*a little later*

Jen Jen Bear: We give thanks to the Great Bear in the sky who is the giver of all good things. And to the Mommy for going to the store.

Brownie Bear: Amen and let’s eat! Mmmm, I heard the nut course is next, then the brocolli course!

Xena: Mommy, isn’t it supper time yet?

I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Nature Friday and That Thing

We are joining Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting Nature Friday.

Monkey: Whew. I’m glad we made it up here before Riley got ahold of us. Did you see him take off with the new guy that Xena got for Christmas? I’m afraid he might look like this aloe plant that the Mom left outside in the cold too long. It’s a gonner.

Winter Bear: Yes, I did see Riley stick his big T-Rex head into the kennel and snatch the new guy, and it made me shake all over. Bear only knows what happened to him. I know I’m the Winter Bear, but I think I’ll go hibernate with the rest of the bears until Spring. Maybe it’ll be safer around here by then. Wait! Is that the new guy heading back into Xena’s kennel?

Monkey: Hey there, you, new kid on the block, er, in the house. I’m Monkey. What’s you’re name.

Triceratop: Hi Monkey. No one’s given me a name yet. Unless it’s That Thing, as in, “I hate That Thing.” And, “I don’t know what That Thing is, but it gives me the creeps. And, “Have you seen That Thing move all on it’s own?” Xena’s supposed to be my new dog, but she hates me. I’m afraid she’s going to feed me to that big T-Rex dog. He already got me once, but the Mom rescued me.

Monkey: I don’t understand why Xena would feel that way. But come in here with me and I’ll try to help if he comes back.

That Thing: I’m a hand puppet, and I think I moved in ways that might have scared her when I was trying to play, but she would never admit it, Warrior Princess that she is. She did chase and bite me when I tried to run away from her.

Xena: Hey, You Thing, why are you back. I thought Mommy put you somewhere safe (for us both).

The Thing: I want to be with you and be your friend, even if it means facing down the T-Rex Dog.

Xena: Huh. I think you might mean Riley. And you would risk certain death by him just to be my friend?

Lucy: Hey, whatch’all doin’?

Xena: I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and NOBODY threatens my friends!

Dog Bed War

I’m Shania, and I like sleeping in the big bed.

It’s MY bed (and Mom and Dad’s).

Move over Daddy, I’m comin’ in.

Riley isn’t always here, so if I want to use his bed, I will.

I knew Angel Lexi and deserve to use this bed that was hers after all the crap she put me through.

This is MY bed. I inherited it from Angel Lexi. It’s a schnauzer bed.

What are you doing in my bed, Xena?

This is the bed Mommy bought just for me. Sometimes I let my stuffies sleep in it with me.

I won. I fit in Xena’s bed.

I made a bed out of the dirty laundry pile. *phtt* What do you mean, my beard needs washed again? Aghh!

How does Morty the pig fit in this bed?

Nature Friday: Bear Stuffies

We are joining Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting. Nature Friday.

So I’ve been thinking. Why does Nature Friday always have to be about plants? Aren’t we all part of nature? I know, deep thoughts for me…Angel Lexi must be haunting my dreams. So what about bears? And if bears, then why not my bear stuffies? I mean, they’ve got feelings too, right? At least I believe they do, so it must be true. I think that’s how it works. Wow, Angel Lexi really is around here somewhere.

Usually my bear stuffies are all hibernating by now – with the exception of Winter Bear who sticks around all year. I guess the warm weather has kept them active and still in the mood to play. Then, right after Thanksgiving, this happened.

Xena, we need to talk to you. We’ve been having lots of fun with you, even deep into our usual hibernation time. But since Riley’s been here, we’ve had to stay up out of his reach so that, well, you know. *shudder*

Anyhoo, we decided it’s time to go take our long winter nap. We love you and will see you in the spring.

Riley: You can stop talking trash about me. I’m right here, you know. I haven’t touched even one of y’all since I’ve been here.

That’s cause they’re right, Mommy did set all my stuffies up on top of the Victorola so that you wouldn’t hurt them. Stupid dog. Now they’re going away and I won’t see them for months!
Mommy, send Riley home so that my friends don’t have to go hibernate.

It’s OK Xexe, it’s just Nature. We’ll see you in the Spring. And thank you for the yummy berries on Thanksgiving. Those were a great treat, and it meant a lot to us that a schnauzer would share her food.

Love, Bears Sweetheart, Jen-Jen, Brownie, Rainbow and Lexi’s little bear.

A Wordy Wednesday Naming

Thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting the
Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop!

Xena: As you know, we have been trying to find a name for our newest family member, the baby schnauzer stuffie. So many of you gave wonderful suggestions that we couldn’t decide. So we (Mommy) decided to let the baby stuffie draw one of the names.

First, she wrote all the names on pieces of paper.

Then, she used my collar to blindfold our baby schnauzer stuffie. No peeking!

Introducing Shania!
Shania: Thank you, Miss Sandra, for thinking up my new name.

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and Shania

A Name for Baby Schnauzer Stuffie

I, Xena, am holding a contest to see who picks a winning name for our new schnauzer puppy stuffie. Whoever picks the best name gets a free trip to…

Lucy: Xena! Stop, just stop. I thought you were over this nonesense. You know you can’t give away a trip.

Hi, I’m the new schnauzer puppy stuffie and I need a name – a girl name. Would y’all please help me? Our Mommy is partial to “Sheila.” I’m not so sure, though.

So far, we have had the names Shira (or Shirah), Amelia, Max, Shania, Pilvi, Jasmine and Mrs. Mike suggested by our blogging friends. Plus two votes for Shelia. We are trying to decide. Your vote would be helpful, even if you don’t get a free trip anywhere. We are sure that next time you see me, I will be properly named.
In other news, Xena removed the stitch that tacked down my right ear. She’s helpful like that. Now we’re twinsies.

Do you like the one ear down, one ear up look? Sister Xena said it’s the latest fashion. I still can’t get my ear back as far as hers goes.

Now, if I could just get her slobbers off my furs.

Love, Lucy, Xena and Schnauzer Puppy Stuffie with No Name

The New Stuffie Gets Advice

Hi, this is Xena. Mommy’s been thinking about getting another schnauzer puppy. She confides in me ’cause we are thick as thieves. Except we’re not thieves, and why do they call thieves thick, anyhow? But it sounds good, right? Anyhow, Mommy has what she calls the puppy itch. I’m not exactly opposed, but I’m not exactly for this either. I really like being the baby. She went out for a while to some stores and came home with a new schnauzer puppy — stuffie!

Mommy held her for us to meet. I sniffed politely, and didn’t try to chew off her nose. Then Mommy put her up really high on the bookcase. I thought she might not be safe up there, but was told that’s the only place she will be safe. Pretty soon, puppy got some company.

“Hi there, I’m Priscilla and this here behind me is Chippy. Chippy is a real fun and funny guy and you’ll enjoy having him as a friend. I help take care of the new pups around here. What’s your name?”

“I don’t know. Everyone just calls me the baby schnauzer.”

“Well, never mind, you’ll find out your name soon enough. Xena is the schnauzer you met when you first came in. Maybe she’ll help her Mom with a name. We’d better go. Xena’s having a fit that we got up here with you and is mad that she can’t. See you again soon, Baby Schnauzer.”

*a few minutes later*
“Who are you? Are you an angel?”

“I can’t tell you I’m an angel cause I’ve been caught in too many lies already. But maybe I’m a ray of sunshine, BOL! Who I am is Ludwig, and I’m in love with Xena, but she doesn’t love me back. When I try to get close to her, she just pulls out my hair.”

*shudder* Xea sounds really scary. She’s down there scowling up at us!”

“Don’t worry, kid. Just stay up here and you’ll be fine.”

*a few minutes later*
“Hi. I’m Oscar. Who are you?”

“I’m the new schnauzer puppy. I don’t think I have a name yet. What happened to your nose, Oscar?”

“One day Xena’s Mom left me alone with Xena and she bit off my nose. Lucy tried to operate and save it, and at first it seemed to work, but then it fell off. Food hasn’t tasted the same since. You need to make sure her Mom’s around when you’re with Xena. Anyho, I hope we can be friends.”

Xena: “How are y’all getting up there? Someone knock that puppy down here to me.”

*later that evening*
“My new Momma is going to watch over me tonight, and maybe tomorrow I will get a name. I heard her asking my new Dadda what he thought about the name ‘Shelia.’ ‘Shelia the Schnauzer,’ she said.”

“Are you coming to bed now, Momma? Have you decided on my name yet? Oh, you’re going to ask Xena’s blogging friends to help? OK, nighty-night.”

With love from the new schnauzer puppy stuffie.

Talkative Friends

Elle: I heard Xena’s Mommy gets to take Friday off as a holiday for Erev Rosh Hashanah, even though she isn’t Jewish.
Oscar: How do you know she’s not Jewish?
Elle: I heard her tell one of the synagogue congregants that.
Oscar: Does that mean we all get the day off? Maybe we can organize some fun games.
Elle: We can ask Rainbow Bear to help. She’s good a that kind of thing.
Oscar: She seems good at everything. Do you think Xena’s Mommy needs any help with her work?

Oscar: Hey, where did Xena go? She was right here a minute ago. Do you think it’s lunch time?

Elle: It’s not lunch time and her Mommy’s still here, so she isn’t getting a bath, although she sure needs one. Maybe she’s hiding so she doesn’t get bathed.

*yawn* How can a girl get her beauty sleep with those two yammering constantly? Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess

Easter Bunny #36950 Confesses All

Lucy: Why are you still at our house, Easter Bunny? Easter was a long time ago. And, come to think of it, you didn’t bring us anything.

Easter Bunny: Your Mom mistook me for one of your stuffies and I got thrown in the washer and dryer with them. (see here) After that, I was so traumatized, I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to do. Your stuffies took pity on me and let me sleep in their nice big crate. After I woke up, I shared the rest of the candy with them. Now I see why all you pups and kitties and little peeps look forward to me coming every year.

Xena: Do you mean no one in the world got any candy for Easter?

Easter Bunny: Oh no, not at all. First of all, there are thousands, nay, millions of us bunnies who deliver candy all around the world very early on Easter morning. I’m Bunny #36950. Second, your house was my last stop.

Lucy and Xena: So you mean we’re the only ones who didn’t get candy?

Easter Bunny #36950: Don’t blame me! It’s all your Mom’s fault. *shudder* You may have to meet me down by the street next year. Now, if you’ll excuse me, while I’ve had a lot of fun playing with Rainbow Bear and Sweetheart Bear and Chippy, and oh, by the way, who chewed the nose off of Oscar the baby schnauzer? That pup isn’t getting any candy next year!

Xena: Well, uh, you see, uh… Gee, it was nice having you visit, Easter Bunny #36950, and please be sure to come back next year with candy for us both. But maybe you should go now before Mommy decides to put you up in the attic until next Spring.

Lucy and Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess, who didn’t get any Easter candy (and might not next year)