Hi friends. It’s finally my turn to write a poem. It might not be as good as Xena and Chia and Riley’s but I send it to you with *wags* and love. Speaking of which, I am thankful for all the love in our home, and that I never have to be afraid.
First, here’s a big thanks to Brian’s Thankful Thursday, with special thanks to Brian for hosting it!
I hope you don’t mind that Mom helped me add myself to the picture. It has a lot more meaning like this, so I think maybe you’ll like it.
The Dish Helpers by Lucy
The folks had a party And they sure ate hardy. A mess in the sink, A mess on the counter. There’ll soon be a stink Of the food all turned sour.
Shania, let’s help, let’s give them a present. Sure, Lucy, let’s help while the food is still pleasant! Wash the plates clean With your big doggie tongue It’s still fine cuisine And the night is still young.
They worked hard until the sun once again shone, Then slept like two logs ’til they woke to the phone. Lucy, Shania, We love you, you know. But now in the washer All those plates must go.
The pups felt discouraged and almost ashamed ‘Til their folks came home with a plaque that was framed. To “The two hardest workers in all of the land.” We love you and know your intentions were grand.
So here are your presents, your favorite treats. Some bacon and broccoli, apples and meats. Please leave the cleaning of dishes to us, And just be our much loved and beautiful pups.
Lucy: I was inspired to write this poem not only by the picture, but by real-life experience. I get to lick the plates either on the floor or in the dishwasher, but it’s never good enough. No matter how clean I get them, Mom always follows up with soap and water.
Lucy, Ace Reporter, coming to you with breaking news. Our house’s Dog Nation has declared war on the Family Stuffies.
There were small incidents beginning before the Thanksgiving holidays. An antler here, an ear there. Mom had been in bed sick for a few days with a bad cold, so at first it was all chalked up to boredom. And, as usual, the stuffies were easy targets. Riley’s stuffie, Ratty D, lost his nose in one incident. Mom super glued it back on. And, as usual, Chia was blamed.
Chia: Excuse me, Ace Reporter Lucy! I didn’t do it! I really didn’t! Really!
Yes, that’s what Chia claimed the entire time, but no one believed her. Then we found out she was telling the shocking truth!
Last Friday Christmas decorations and stuffies had been brought down from the attic, including Christmas Reindeer. Chia immediately claimed the reindeer (NOT Riley’s reindeer, Rainey) and carried it everywhere through the house with her. I was carefully watching, waiting to catch her in the act of wanton destruction, but all seemed quiet (OK, maybe not exactly quiet) on the home front.
Then, one evening when brother Andrew was here, Riley walked into the living room with his reindeer Rainey’s head!!! Mom gasped in shock and Riley wagged his tail. He had beheaded one of his best friends, the only stuffy he had never harmed. This was going on two Christmases that Riley had loved and cherished Rainey, and now this! WARNING: Picture of graphic violence to follow:
All the stuffing had also been removed from Rainey’s body.
Mom was getting ready to give Rainey a proper burial in the garbage can when brother Andrew, always quick on his feet, stuffed all the stuffing back into the lifeless body, and set it, with the head on top, on the kitchen counter. His ploy worked. Mom, an excellent seamstress, sewed the gaping neck wound closed and reattached Rainey’s head.
We think Rainey will be disabled the rest of his stuffy life. He can no longer hold his head in one position, but it flops down or to the side. This reporter wipes away a tear as I continue to report that Rainey’s first request was to be near Riley. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing.
This reporter was wrapping it up when Racky D asked to be able to say something on the record. Go ahead, Racky D.
Racky D here. As you can see, I’ve been the the victim of stuffy abuse. After the Mom super glued my nose back on a week or so ago, I thought, great, I’ve still only got one eye, but at least I can smell again. Then, out of nowhere, Xena bit off my nose. Of course, Chia got blamed at first, but the truth always comes out in the end. And that’s all I’ve got to say.
Lucy: Wrapping it up, I see that we still have a large contingent of stuffies on the victrola. Hey there friends. You’ve been up there a long time. Is there something you want to say?
Hey there Lucy, Ace Reporter. This is Chippie, appointed spokes chipmunk by our leader Guru Larry Lemur. The six of us have fled as refugees from the environment that has turned hostile toward all stuffies. And we want to say we were appalled at what Riley did to Rainey. We plan to stay up here where it’s crowded but safe. A kind person has given us our own Christmas tree, and, like I said, we have sought refuge here where it’s relatively safe. We aren’t having fun anymore, but at least we have our stuffy lives. And Santa Paws knows where to find us.
That wraps it up folks. I hope to be back to you soon with news of peace in our Dog Nation, good will toward stuffies.
Xena: Did you give Riley his stuffy back? Chia: Yep, and I gave him my birthday stuffy, too. Sorta as a peace offering. Told him they were hanging out on the porch together, having fun. Xena: Do you think he bought it? Chia: I think he’s just happy to have his stupid Racky D back. He started all this, ya know. Xena: Doesn’t matter who started it, cause he can also end it! Chia: You’re not gonna tell him, are you? Xena: What’s it worth to you? Chia: Uh, you can have the open kennel all week. Xena: Done!
Riley: I found Racky D. Actually, Chia brought him to me. She said she found him outside. Hmmm, wonder how he got there. (Click here to find out.)
Then she brought me her weird stuffie that she got for her last birthday. That one pretty much lives outside. Whatever. I’m just happy to have my Racky D. back. *wags*
Chia: What Mom? Why am I laying outside the kennel? Uh, just keeping peace, Mom, just keeping peace.
Many thanks to Miss Sandee at Comedy Plus for hosting Awww Monday!
Hi friends, and a big woofin’ thanks to The Cat on My Head, for hosting Sunday Selfies.
Riley here. Did I tell you Mom Amy took me to a doggie dermatologist? Oh yeah, I remember now, I told you. The Atopica pills for my allergies didn’t work out. They gave me the squirts and lots of cramping. Even a lower dose gave me the squirts. Dang, and I was getting so much more raw hamburger because of those pills, too! Mom Amy’s mad because she spent so much money on them and the doc won’t even take back the box that isn’t open. Harumph. Guess we’re done going there. Too bad. I really liked them.
On to what else is happening around here. The other evening I spotted Chia on the couch with her Ratto, aka uh, well, I don’t remember the other names. Don’t give me any flack about that, Chia. I might be 12, but I still have all my huge, sharp teeth!
So, as I was saying, I grabbed Ratto and played tug-o-war with Chia. I have to give her credit, she put up a good tug-o-war fight, but, of course, in the end, I won. She kept coming at me, trying to get Ratto back. Guess what I did! Ratto ended up where Chia wouldn’t dare to even try to grab him!
It was bedtime, so Ratto was my pillow all night! Hmm, I wonder where my Racky-D is???
Well, I’m sure he’ll show up, maybe playing with the other stuffies.
Lucy, Ace Reporter, back on sister station WCAH (W Crime at Home) with a surprise update on the murder case of Larry the Lemur.
Xena’s not here to tell you what should be her story because she doesn’t even know yet. She left early this morning with Dad. She was going with him to work, and then to the vet’s to get her teeth cleaned. She wanted to have a service for her friend, Larry the Lemur, who was murdered a few days ago. We all suspected Chia, but had no proof. Then, the body disappeared.
We’ve all got something to be thankful for today, especially Xena. And, for different reasons, Chia. Although, Chia might now be on the hook for “Attempted Murder of a Stuffie,” which is definitely a step down from “Homicide of a Stuffie.”
Larry suddenly appeared to a small group of stuffies who had gathered on the victrola in the front room.
Their shouts of surprise brought most of the other stuffies out of hiding to find that Larry the Lemur was healed (mostly) and back amongst them. Larry’s leg is reattached, but about 1/2 inch shorter, so he will be walking with a slight limp. His face and belly wounds are also healed. His left hand is still missing, and we think it has already been digested and discarded. He is, however, still wearing that great smile of his! Larry has now been declared their “Guru.”
With all the commotion, it didn’t take Chia long to discover that the only stuffy who could positively identify his murderer was alive again.
Riley, do you have anything to add?
I’ve been following this case with interest, Ace Reporter Lucy. While I laugh at this whole “Guru” thing, I feel Larry’s life may still be in danger. Larry needs to live long enough to point his remaining paw at Chia (or whoever murdered him, but we all know who did it). I may have to become his body guard. You know the long squirt won’t mess with me.
There you have it, folks. Be sure to stay tuned for action-filled updates on the case of “Who Murdered Larry Lemur” and “Is Larry Really a Guru?”
Many thanks to Comedy Plus for hosting Happy Tuesday.
Larry Lemur: *gasp* Someone suffocated Rainey!
There’s a murderer among us. I need to start bringing in suspects.
So, Xena, where were you last night and this morning?
Xena: Last night I laid on Daddy’s lap while he and Mommy watched their show on Netflix. Then I went to bed with them and slept all night in the bedroom with the door closed. Do you have any idea how upset Riley’s going to be?
Larry: I do. So are you saying you’re innocent? If you’re innocent, why are you wearing those Big Girl Panties even though you don’t go into heat anymore? Are you trying to wear a disguise? Xena: Well, I’m not so sure I’m exactly innocent. I mean, I did chase a lizard into Lucy’s mouth once, and I’ve tried to catch chipmunks. Mommy put these Big Girl Panties on me so I couldn’t lick and chew on my tummy because of my allergies. Did you notice they match my herbal flea collar? But no, I didn’t kill Rainey. I think it was Chia.
Larry: Fine. You’re free to go. But don’t leave town. Larry, talking to himself: Hmmm. I know Lucy has absolutely no interest in stuffies, and she’s the least likely dog to inflict harm on anyone or anything. Although she and Ella did tear up the back of the couch cushion once when their folks were all gone. But that was a long time ago and she has promised to never do anything like that again. She’s a dog of her woof. So…
Chia, did you murder Riley’s Rainey? Chia: I’m innocent, Your Honor.
Sure, I’ve killed my share of stuffies, but I know better than to mess with Riley. You know he’s going to make somebody pay for this, and I don’t mean with cash or treats. Nobody, but nobody, crosses Riley (except Mom the Brave). There’s going to be pain and suffering…I should run away again.
Later…
Rainey: Hey there Riley. Do you have any idea where everyone went? I can’t find any of the other woofers.
Riley: *slurp, slurp* Rainey: I mean, I laid down on the loveseat to catch some zzzz’s, but the sun was in my eyes so I covered my head with the pillow before falling asleep. I woke up to the sound of dogs running and doors slamming. Oh well, you and me, we can still have some fun together. Umm, what’s with the Cone of Handsomeness, Big Guy? Riley: Allergies, and bacterial and yeast infections. I’m on meds, but in the meantime, Mom Amy doesn’t want me licking and chewing on myself. Yeah, let’s go find something to do around here, like figure out where everyone went to.
A few days ago Riley told you about Racky-D, and his decision to keep him, not deadie him. Well, back at the beginning of the month, I got a new stuffy for my birthday, and promised to show you a better picture of him when he wasn’t being so shy.
Today’s the day! I’m thankful for my Mr. Rat on Thankful Thursday and every day . Sometimes Xena grabs him and takes off. I know it’s so I will chase her, and it always works! Then we play tug o’ war until one of us loses interest.
Since Riley named his racoon dog Racky-D, I’ve been thinking about a new name for Mr. Rat. Something like Ratto or Ratty or something. Any thoughts? And no, Xena, we’re not having a contest, and no one’s going to win anything. Sheesh. I think she must watch the game shows on TV when Mom and Dad are at work and Lucy and I are snuggled up sleeping.
Sometimes I ask Mom to play with me and Mr. Rat.
Mom has a new game where she pretends not to notice, then grabs him up quick as lightening and throws him across the room. I leap across whoever else is on the couch, propel myself off the couch arm, and tear after Mr. Rat. Sometimes Xena fakes me out, acting like she’s going to go get him, and that makes me run even faster, like the Flash!
I’m also thankful that all y’all love me, and if you want to come visit I’ll sit in your lap or play with you and cuddle with you under the covers in the bed.
Priscilla: Where were you? We looked everywhere. Shania: You know the Mom’s office got moved out of our house, right? *Everyone nodding* So Lambie had to go, too, since she was actually given to the synagogue, not to us. *Everyone nodding* Xena thought it would be safer for me to go keep Lambie company for a while than to stay here. Chia had her “deadie the stuffie” eyes on me, and Riley was unpredictable. Ludwig: I sent out a search party, but no one could find you. And the squirrels never came back, either. Chippie: You sent squirrels? Squirrels?! Sweetheart: Never mind that. Sometimes Ludwig gets into the bottom shelf of the pantry. What we want to know is if you’re ok and why you’re back now? Shania: All the Mom told me before putting me in her carry bag to come home was that we were leaving and not coming back, so tell Lambie goodbye. Oh look, there’s Lucy! She’s the sweetest pup! Aghh, I’m falling!
Xena: Welcome home, Shania. You can ride in my kennel with me again and get magically transported to other places! Chia: Gotcha!
You’re mine now. Shania: HELP!! Riley: Chia! Drop it!
Riley: So, you’re back, Shania. Shania: *pant, pant* Yes, Riley, thanks for saving me from Chia.
Riley: No problem! Hmm, you might have a flea here…and here…and… Lucy: Riley, my friend, can I please have Shania? She’s really not worth your time. I know you’re in charge here, and you have much more important things to do, like keeping Chia from swiping your bone, right?
Shania: Thanks, Lucy. One big gulp and I woulda been gone. No wonder the Mom sent me away!
Lucy: Well, you’re back now, Shania, so stay safe, little girl. Maybe you’ll go again when my Mom gets another job. I sure hope I can go, too! And, uh, you might want to wash your ear.
We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.
This can be a dangerous place to live, sorta like a war zone. There aren’t any bombs or gunfire…just Chia, and sometimes Riley. We – Brownie Bear, Rudy and Dino – just got out of the stuffie hospital after encounters with Chia.
Brownie Bear: My eye will never be the same, but I am glad I escaped with my life. Rudy: Attacking a reindeer this time of year wasn’t too smart. I notified Santa. Dino: Ouch.
Hey there. You may recognize me as Riley’s Reindeer. He adopted me last Christmas, and I’m the first stuffie he has ever loved. (I love him, too.)
Riley plays with me and then forgets to ask Mom Amy to put me somewhere safe. That’s when that long mess called Chia got ahold of me. You can see she ate off half my antler. I just got out of the stuffie hospital too. I guess I got off easy, but I’m staying up here so nothing worse happens.
Hi, I’m Ski Deer. I help deliver toys and treats to good boy and girl dogs and cats in places where the snow is deep.
I’m staying up here where it’s safe until Christmas Eve when I will leave to help Santa.
Hello. I’ve always, in my stuffie heart, been Lexi’s Eleephaunt. Riley has mistreated me, and then Chia. I’m too old for this crap.
I’ve decided that until it’s my time to go, I’ll just stay up here near my best friend, along with the angel who watches over her in heaven.
Meanwhile…
Riley: Chia! What are you chewing on? I know that sound.
Chia: It’s my reindeer toy and I’ll deadie it if I want!
Riley: I don’t think Santa Paws is bringing you anything this year.
Chia: I don’t care. I already saw Mom buying my presents when we went to the store where they sell dog stuff. Phthhh!
This is all the stuffies and Riley — and Chia — wishing you a good Christmas week.
Ludwig: Monkey, what are you doing laying here behind the chair? Are you hiding?
Monkey: No, Ludwig, Chia dumped me here, and I’ve just given up. I’m gonna die and no one can help me. She’ll rip me open the same way she did the tape on the back of that chair.
Ludwig: Stay right here, don’t move. *thinking: who should I get, who can help him? The stuffie Support Team!*
Lambie: Monkey, my dear friend, what’s wrong.
Monkey: I was hiding out on the big bed from Riley. It was working, too, ’cause he can’t get up there anymore.
I was happy, daydreaming about the good old days many years ago when the boys were little and played with me all the time. Yep, those were the good old days. The dogs, Sammy and Freda, were never interested in me at all. I just played with the kids all day.
And now, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna…
Lambie: Please stop saying that, Monkey. We all have our time, but it’s not your time yet. What’s wrong? Monkey: Did you see what Chia did to Eleephant? I’m next.
Xena: That wasn’t Chia. Eleephant got these injuries long before even I was born.
It was probably Riley, and now he’s focused on loving his own stuffie, Reindeer. Ain’t it somethin’ what love’ll do? You need to stop this silliness and go play with your friends and stop interrupting my Sunday Selfie.
Lambie: Come on Monkey. Do you want to go play outside for a while?
Monkey: Maybe. Let’s go quietly while Chia’s sharpening her teeth on that bone. I don’t want to draw her attention to me. Or we could just sit here together and watch the birds and the squirrels and the people and dogs walking by. Thanks for being my friend, Lambie.
We are joining Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting Nature Friday.
Xena: I was ready to go to bed, and who do you think was in my bed? Larry the Lemur who I got for my June birthday.
Why are you in my bed, Larry? I didn’t invite you, and I think you should get down.
Larry: “But I love you Xena, and I want to be close to you. I can smell your beard from up here.”
Get off me Larry before your demise becomes a lemurick.
There once was a lemur named Larry. His body was all orange and hairy. He picked the wrong dog To jump on her bod So he got carried off by an eyrie.
Larry: That’s one mean schnauzer.
Lucy: How do I always seem to be the one the stuffies run to? *sigh*
The Mom: Here’s the actual “Nature Friday” entry.
I got some flowers (no idea what they are) on sale at Lowe’s and repurposed an old grill that I couldn’t even give away on the Next Door app. Now I have to figure out what to do with the extra pot of flowers.
We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.
It’s my birthday and I’ll bark if I want to, bark if I want to, bark if I want to… Two people for me to bark at already stopped by the house today. I wonder how many more I’ll get to bark at before we quietly go to bed at the end of my special day.
I started the morning with a nice bowl of cauliflower and cubed deer steak with a topping of finely ground eggshells (for calcium), a squirt of krill oil (to lube me all over), and a dollop of tumeric paste (for allergies). Yummmmmmy!
Then Mommy and Daddy took me for a cooler-than-later morning walk through the neighborhood. Well, Lucy and Chia went too, but I know it was specially for me today. (Riley was still in bed.) When we got back I got my legs and face rinsed off to help keep away the allergies, then played with Chia for awhile before we all settled into our post-brekkies naps. I woke up with all my stuffies wishing me a happy birthday!
Oscar the Schnauzer: We’ve been in hiding since Chia arrived. But our best friend Xena is worth taking a chance for. We love you, Xena! Happy Birthday! That’s when I got a birthday present – a new member of the stuffie family.
I think he’s a lemer. He’s really soft and cuddly. I might call him Jim. Or Tom. Or Larry. Larry the Lemer. Has kind of a ring to it, doesn’t it?
Then Chia showed up again. She plowed her way through my stuffies like they were celebrating her! Her first victim, er, choice was Chippy, probably ’cause he was out front.
After tickling him and throwing him across the room, she played with Eleephont and dug out two balls and a bone and finally retrieved Chippy and settled down on the couch with me.
You’re disturbing my nap.
Later me and Mommy are going to work on our Freestyle. I’m learning to run over to a pole and touch it with my nose, and then get a treat tossed to me. Then I run back to Mommy and get another treat. This stuff is soooo easy, but I still insist on getting paid. I’m also learning to do pivots with Mommy – I mostly just march in place with my front feet and move around in a circle with my back feet. We do that until Mommy gets dizzy and almost falls over, BOL.
First, though, I get to chose which tuna steak I want for supper. That little blue sticker on the package says fresh caught.
Mmmm, I think I’ll take this one, and Lucy can have the other one. Chia eats kibble, so no sharing with her. Mommy, can we give her just a bite, do you think that’s ok? OK, we’ll offer it and if she doesn’t want it, well, it won’t go to waste.
I am the four-year-old Xena Schnauzer Princess Warrior *woof* *woof*
Hi friends. I went back to see the special dogtor today. Everyone there is so nice. They even understand that I’m not mean, I just get scared. They’re always nice to me, and even told Mom Amy that I’m really a sweet boy. *wag*
Before all that, though, I reclaimed Reindeer from Xena. Me and Reindeer, we’re tight, ya’ know? We hang together and I take him running through the house with me, and we nap together. He’s my bud.
Back to my eye dogtor appointment. My sight has been saved! It’s only slightly “diminished,” but I can still see out of it and it’s pretty much back to normal except for how it looks. This picture is shortly before my eye surgery.
It hurt so much I kept my eyes closed most of the time.
This picture is after my exam today. See how wide open my eyes are!
I know it still looks weird, but it doesn’t hurt. The dogtor, henceforth called the “Good Dogtor,” said it should eventually turn more white, but it won’t ever look like before the first dogtor, henceforth called the “Bad Dogtor,” messed it up. It looks like this because of the “procedure” the Good Dogtor did to save it. The veterinary ophthamologist (Good Dogtor) removed some of my inner eyelid and sewed it with the tiniest of stitches over the large and deep ulcer eating away at my right eye. If you didn’t get a chance to read about that, you can hop here to find out more.
Anyhoo, I was a real, real good boy today at the Good Dogtor’s office. He even said I was like a different dog today, which told him how much pain I was in the first couple of times he saw me. I go back in six months for a check-up on my eye, but that’s a long time from now, so I’m not worried about it.
We are all HUGELY thankful for my eye being better.
We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.
Lucy: This weekend I get to go stay with my friend Aoife (Eefa) and Aoife’s Mom and her brother. Her brother’s name is Rauiri (Rory). We haven’t met yet, but I am sure we’re going to be good friends too. This is Aoife.
Aoife is a sof-coated wheaten terrier.
Their Mom is so super nice, I’m wagging all over just thinking about visiting them for a few days. I’m so, so glad I don’t have to ride almost 10 hours in the car and then stay by myself all day Saturday and again on Sunday in a strange place. I can hardly wait to go on my own vacation to Aoife’s!
Xena: This weekend I get to ride in my car kennel a long, long way to Cleveland, Ohio to dance to my music and get my next Freestyle title! We’re going to stay in a nice hotel so we don’t have to get up in the middle of the night and move to a different hotel like last time. Me and Mommy have been practicing all our figures a lot in the basement, and I know just what to do. Daddy’s going to be the videographer – not just for me, but for all the dogs. I might even tell the other dogs that he’s my daddy! Do you remember when I got my first title? It was a year ago last November, before the pandemic thingie hit. If you missed it, or just want to smile again, you can see it by clicking here.
I have to decide which of my stuffies are going with me.
Mommy, I can’t choose. I don’t want to leave anyone behind now that Riley got his cone off. And they all are begging to go!
Mom: Dont’ worry, Xexe. I’ll help a couple of the smaller ones into your travel kennel and they will be waiting there for you when you hop in to go. And I’ll make sure everyone else is safe in your home kennel or up high where you-know-who can’t reach them.
Good! I’m going to go to sleep now so Friday comes faster!
We are Lucy and Xena, the visiting and traveling and performing girls!
Xena: Today we are thankful for some of our favorite things. I’ll go first. I’m thankful every time Mommy fills my food bowl. I have the self discipline to wait and not dive into it until she says, “Free!” Otherwise, I lose my supper for at least 87 seconds, and that’s a terrible thing to do to a starving schnauzer!
Do you want to know what all I got this time? Green tripe, chickie paw, spinach, saurkraut, orange bell pepper and blueberries! Those are all some of my favorite things!
Lucy: I have a lot to be thankful for too.
I love my friends and am so thankful for them.
From the left, that is my boyfriend Achilles, my BFF Ella and my house buddy Riley.
Riley: I love my reindeer.
I am thankful Miss Amy gave him to me for Christmas.
These are all just a few of our favorite things!
XOX from Xena, Lucy and Riley
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings These are a few of my favorite things Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes Silver white winters that melt into springs These are a few of my favorite things When the dog bites When the bee stings, When I’m feeling sad I simply remember my favorite things And then I don’t feel so bad
We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.
Shania: After meeting Lambie, and asking her for help with our tormentor, she came up with this suggestion.
What do you think, Lambie from up high? Can you help us?
We, the stuffies of Xena, have formed a support group. At one time or another, every stuffie in this post has been a victim of domestic violence. For fear of retribution, we will not name him, the perpetrator. All we will say is that he is huge and red and has lived here on and off for the past ten years. We hope by us speaking out, he will be encouraged to seek help for his violent nature against stuffies.
We have provided a forum today for our abused stuffies to speak out against the violence perpetrated on them.
#1 My name is Eleephant, and I am a victim of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I have lost my left ear and the tip of my trunk. Because of this my hearing and sense of smell have been impaired. My tail is missing, which sometimes affects my balance.
#2 My name is Oscar, and I am a victim of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I lost my nose, and now I can’t taste my food. My beard is permanently messed up, and my eyes are scratched, making it difficult to see “him” coming.
#3 My name is Ludwig, and I am the victim of Schnauzer stuffie love that turned violent. I bear the scars on my right side to remind me how much X loves me.
#4 I am Brownie Bear, and I am the victim of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I lost my nose, and I can’t smell anything. My berries no longer taste sweet. My eyes are scratched, and the distortions make me dizzy.
#5 I am Lexi’s bear. I am a long-time survivor of Stuffie Domestic Violence. I had a happy and peaceful life up until around 2009 when a large puppy – who has grown into a large dog – came to live with us.
Lexi always called him Dufus, although I don’t think that is really his name. My dear friend was helpless to protect me against multiple assaults. I lost both my ears and rely upon sign language. My right leg carries a permanent scar, and my left arm is missing. I had several surgeries and am fortunate to still be here. Rainbow Bear and several other stuffies have sworn to protect me, but there is only so much they can do against Giant Dufus. If their protection fails, I will simply lay down and go to be with Angel Lexi.
#6 I am Winter Bear and I am a survivor of Stuffie Domestic Violence. You can see that my right ear is mostly missing. Even though I like to stay awake and active with Xena and my other friends all winter, sometimes it’s just too much to keep avoiding the Big Dog and I go to hibernate with the other bears.
This is terrible! I knew there had been violence in this house, but not to what extent. I, Xena, pledge to do a better job of protecting you all.
I didn’t mean to hurt you, Ludwig. I got a bit carried away. Oscar, thank you for not naming me, but we both know who chewed off your nose. I’m sorry. From now on, if I see He Who Shall Not Be Named coming after any of you, I will get Mommy to help you.
Stuffies: We invite any stuffie out there with issues they need help with to join our Stuffie Support Group. Together, we can be stronger and raise awareness that stuffies have feelings, too.
Xena: Hey, isn’t it about time for my bears to slither out of hibernation?
Lucy: You mean you haven’t seen them? They’ve already gotten their spring baths – you know how foul they smell after sleeping cuddled up together all winter – and they’re looking for food. Go check out the kitchen.
Xena: *running to kitchen and jumping on the stool* Hey! Why didn’t y’all tell me you were awake?!
Riley: Watcha’ doin? Can I have some of those?
Xena: No! Don’t come near my bears!
Mommy, tell Riley to go away and leave my bears alone.
Shania, what are you doing up here with Rainbow and Winter Bear and Jen Jen, and Sweetheart and Lexi’s Old Bear? You’re a schnauzer, not a bear!
Shania: I saw they were all going to the bath, so I asked if I could join them. I wanted to get Riley the Terminator’s spit off my furs.
Rainbow Bear: We’re hungry. We haven’t eaten all winter. Please get us food. Now.
Did you hear Rainbow Bear, Mommy? Aren’t you going to the store? Would you get them some Bear Food?
*a little later*
Jen Jen Bear: We give thanks to the Great Bear in the sky who is the giver of all good things. And to the Mommy for going to the store.
Brownie Bear: Amen and let’s eat! Mmmm, I heard the nut course is next, then the brocolli course!
We are joining Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting Nature Friday.
Monkey: Whew. I’m glad we made it up here before Riley got ahold of us. Did you see him take off with the new guy that Xena got for Christmas? I’m afraid he might look like this aloe plant that the Mom left outside in the cold too long. It’s a gonner.
Winter Bear: Yes, I did see Riley stick his big T-Rex head into the kennel and snatch the new guy, and it made me shake all over. Bear only knows what happened to him. I know I’m the Winter Bear, but I think I’ll go hibernate with the rest of the bears until Spring. Maybe it’ll be safer around here by then. Wait! Is that the new guy heading back into Xena’s kennel?
Monkey: Hey there, you, new kid on the block, er, in the house. I’m Monkey. What’s you’re name.
Triceratop: Hi Monkey. No one’s given me a name yet. Unless it’s That Thing, as in, “I hate That Thing.” And, “I don’t know what That Thing is, but it gives me the creeps. And, “Have you seen That Thing move all on it’s own?” Xena’s supposed to be my new dog, but she hates me. I’m afraid she’s going to feed me to that big T-Rex dog. He already got me once, but the Mom rescued me.
Monkey: I don’t understand why Xena would feel that way. But come in here with me and I’ll try to help if he comes back.
That Thing: I’m a hand puppet, and I think I moved in ways that might have scared her when I was trying to play, but she would never admit it, Warrior Princess that she is. She did chase and bite me when I tried to run away from her.
Xena: Hey, You Thing, why are you back. I thought Mommy put you somewhere safe (for us both).
The Thing: I want to be with you and be your friend, even if it means facing down the T-Rex Dog.
Xena: Huh. I think you might mean Riley. And you would risk certain death by him just to be my friend?
Lucy: Hey, whatch’all doin’?
Xena: I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess and NOBODY threatens my friends!
I'm Dalton, a Rat terrier mix and I came here in Sept, 2017, I was rescued from Hurricane Harvey. My birthday is 8-20-2016. My Gotcha Day is 8-27-2017. And I am Benji, a terrier mix of unknown origin. MY Birthday is June 6, 2018, and my Gotcha Day is Dec 28, 2018. I also was a rescue from a different part of Texas. We also have Angel MrJackFreckles, (2-5-2018); and also we have Angel Minko, (6-18-2017); and Angel Pipo, (11-3-2020);There are also Angels Groucho, Simba, Suki, & Toki. We meezers used to be known as WeBeesSiameezers. We'e all from Michigan, Dalton and Benji both came here from Texas, as rescues..
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Lucy, Chia and Riley 