Mom- my. Lift. Me. Up.
We are happy to join The Cat on My Head for Sunday Selfies.
Mom- my. Lift. Me. Up.
Lucy: Hi, and Happy New Year, friends! *wiggles* When last we met, Mom was going to take me to the Smart Pet store for a new sweater. That was great! So many people pet me while I was there! I got a really pretty sweater too, and it even fits me like it was made for me (but not made by Mom, BOL!). Then I found out I had to pose for a picture. I really don’t like getting my picture made.
Chia: C’mon Lucy, you can do this! I just got lots of pictures taken and it doesn’t hurt a bit. Give Mom a good picture and it’ll all be over and you can go back to doing nothing.
Lucy: *gulp* OK, I’ll try. But it’s hard to look happy like Xena does in her pictures when I’m doin’ something I don’t wanna do.
Lucy: There. I hope everyone can see my pretty new sweater. I’m done.
Mom: No you’re not, sweet girl. Chia photo bombed you.
Chia: I was just giving moral support.
Lucy: Are we done yet?
Chia: Yep, it’s my turn. First, you probably noticed I’m wearing my big girl panties. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to wear them.
I managed to get them off during the night and now there’s blood on the bedsheets and Dad’s underwear. I was laying up against him. Hmmm. I didn’t know that would happen. Xena! Are you back there photo bombing my picture?
So, what I really wanted to tell you is, I got another present, too. Mom decided I needed a new collar after she put my pretty pink collar on me and I made choking sounds, sorta like, “ghagrk.” I’m a big 1 1/2 years old now and I outgrew it. Off we went to the Smart Pet store!
Can you see it? Instead of a bow it has a pretty sunflower on it. And it’s not pink, yay! No, you can’t see it? Well, that’s ok, there’ll be plenty more pictures of me wearing it other days.
Xena: My turn! I got new stairs to be able to get on the bed without hopping up and down asking Mommy to pick me up. Riley’s bed is always on the side where the rug is, and the floor on Mommy’s side is too slippery for me to try to jump up. I wasn’t too sure about these stairs at first. But when treats suddenly appeared on them, I made it the whole way up to the top.
Now the trick is to get back down. Riley’s sleeping on his bed, so I can’t jump down that way. OK, I’m gonna try this…
OK, I think I can do this. One step at a time.
I’m doing it, Mommy!
Chia: Did you see me run up and down and back up the stairs, Mom? I’m so fast, just like the Flash! You probably missed it. That’s OK, I’ll do it again!
The next night….
Xena: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy lift me into bed Mommy.
Xena: We all agreed that first I’d tell you what Daddy got last Wednesday, early for Christmas. Sick. After two days of laying in bed with a fever, exhaustion and achy legs, a friend brought over a C-19 test. Yep. He’s got it. Each day he’s feeling a little better. He said he is glad he had his vaccines or it would have been way, way worse. Mommy’s OK, which is a good thing, cause who would take care of us if she was sick too!? If you want to pray for him or send healing thoughts his way, we are all sure it would help.
Next, here are our “selfies.” They are all painted on small round discs of wood. That’s Angel Lexi at the top. We don’t understand why my eyes are painted so big. Mommy finally said it’s because of my wide-eyed innocence. Mommy loves her present and is hanging them “up high” so they last many, many years.
Now, for the fun stuff — mostly. I didn’t get any presents to unwrap. Mommy said I have more stuffies than I need and I got the warm jammies she made for Chia – the ones that didn’t fit Chia. So instead, she made me cookies! Woo hoo! They have pumpkin and almond butter and coconut oil in them. Mmmm.
Lucy: I didn’t get anything to unwrap either. I don’t play with toys. I wouldn’t have minded a nice sweater since I gave mine to Riley for Christmas last year. But Mom made me cookies! They have cranberries and applesauce in them and they’re soft and yummy! Mom said she would take me to the Smart Pet Place today to get a new sweater, too!
Chia: Man, I hit the motherload! If Christmases are always like this, I think I’ll stick around! It’s my first Christmas here (I’m just 1 1/2 years old) and I needed everything. I knew right away what to do when I saw those gift bags! Look what I pulled outa the first one:
Isn’t it great!? It’s got a long body, just like me! I walked around showing it to everyone, which ended up being a bit of a mistake. More on that in a bit.
Do you remember me telling you that Mom took me to the Smart Pet place after her epic fail in making me jammies? She made me try on at least 87 different sweaters and hoodies and coats. I thought she got me one of them. Confirmation!
This is the first one she tried on me, and both of our favorites. Don’t I look pretty wearing it?
Riley: I was polite and waited for Mom Amy to offer me one of the gift bags. I stuck my nose in and pulled out a brand new tug toy! Woo hoo!
Then I pulled out the tissue paper — it was in the bag, so that was mine too, right? I love my new tug toy. I offered to share it with Rainy my reindeer, but he said thanks, he would just watch me play.
Then Mom Amy offered me another present, and I pulled out a long red stuffie. It was just like Chia’s but a different color.
In case you’re wondering, those little bottles back by the tree aren’t mine. Dad Jeff gave Mom Amy her two favorite liquors for Christmas. Anyhow, I was about to deadie the red stuffie when it occured to me that I could deadie the green one that is Chia’s and still have mine to keep or to deadie later. Sometimes I’m brilliant!
Chia: I had to go get a drink or bark at something, and when I did, Riley got ahold of Greenie. Before I could stop him, he had chewed off a lot of its head and removed a squeaker.
I ran quick and told Mom. She got it back for me and put Riley’s red one up so he couldn’t deadie it…at least not right away. Me and Riley spent a lot of time Christmas afternoon growling at each other. I growled at him to keep away from Greenie while I hid under a chair with it. He growled back at me saying to stop growling at him and just give it over. Everyone left us alone to growl at each other. Except Lucy. When it sounded like it was gonna come to blows – or bites – Lucy got between us and looked at us both. She has this thing, I don’t know what you’d call it. But when she’d do that, we both would stop growling and ignore each other – for a while, anyhow.
Xena: I thought you were the next one to get deadied, Chia.
Chia: I run fast and can fit under furniture, so I wasn’t too worried. Later that afternoon while Dad was taking a C-19 nap, Riley stopped growling and started barking at me. So I stopped growling and started squeaking at him! That’s right! There was more than one squeaker in Greenie. Anyhoo, it went something like this: Woof! Squeak! Woof! Squeak! Woof! Squeak! and so on. Then Dad got up and we stopped.
Riley: I got my punishment then. Dad Jeff took me downstairs and put “the stinky dog” as he called me, in the tub. Mom Amy appeared with shampoo, conditioner, Neem oil and towels and bathed me and conditioned my hair and moisterized my skin. In the middle of all this, Mom Amy heard the water running upstairs and realized Dad Jeff was getting in the jetted tub to try to feel better.
Next thing we knew, the water in my tub started cooling off. A lot. To warm me up, I got wrapped up in a blanket after getting towel-dried. I don’t want to admit I feel better, not as itchy. But I do. And my furs are really soft and shiny now.
Chia: It’ my turn again! Guess what! That’s not all I got!! Lucy and Xena both have treat puzzles, and now I do too! I caught on right away. Instead of moving the center pieces one by one – the slow way – I put my nose at the beginning and moved them all together, stopping whenever I came to a treat. It was too easy, really, for a smart pup like me! I hope I get a harder one soon, with lots more places for treats, like Xena’s.
Speaking of Xena’s, Mom got it and Lucy’s puzzle out too and filled them with treats. But, when she put them on the floor, Riley ran in and started working Xena’s! He’s never ever shown interest in a treat puzzle before that. Xena’s Mom’s “baby,” (grrr) but she’s definitely not stupid. She didn’t challenge him for her puzzle.
It only took him a moment to figure out to remove the white pieces in the middle of each row and open the red pieces and move them back and forth. Dad said, “He’s a smart boy and has always had a talent for mechanical things.”
Xena: I went over to Lucy and told her to look at what Riley was doing. Lucy’s puzzle is pretty small – it was my first puzzle. She got it when I got my new one that Riley was now using without my permission. But she’s a sweet sister and offered to let me work her (my old) puzzle with her, so we shared.
Lucy: We gotta sign off now. Mom’s getting ready to take me shopping *wags!*.
Love and wags from Xena, Riley, Lucy and Chia
Riley: Shhh, everyone take a nap. We need to rest up so we can go to bed early tonight. We want Santa Paws to come.
Xena: Y’all are joking, right?
I mean, why would you have to nap to go to sleep early?
Riley: Because Santa Paws says so.
Santa’s Elf: Wow! That came outa nowhere!
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas from Santa Paws Riley, his elf, Lucy, Xena and Chia (zzzzz…)
Chia: We’re goin’ up North next month, and Mom wanted me to have something warm to wear, so she lengthened something called a pattern that she used to make Xena’s clothes and tailored it just for me. The first problem occurred cutting the plush fleece material. The cut edges shed like a reindeer in the middle of summer so she did a zig zag stitch along the edges. (Do you wanna see me zig zag? I’m good at it!) Then she discovered the material was too thick and her machine wouldn’t sew it. But Mom loves me sooooo much that she sewed it all by hand. That took about 87 hours (that she should have used playing with me!)
She was finally done and it was time for me to try it on.
Mom finally had mercy on me and helped me out of it before I chewed
my the pajama leg off. I hope I never see that torture thing again!
A very short while later…
Chia: Hey you! Who said you could wear that?
Chia: No! It’s MINE!
Xena: *yawn* I’m so comfy I think I’ll take a nap.
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with Warrior Wolves Jammies.
We are joining Angel Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting Nature Friday.
Xena: We finally got a sunny day when Mommy had time to go out front with me and bring her phone camera. When brother Andrew gave these tomato plants to Mommy, they were barely as tall as my knee. Now they’ve taken over the sidealk and killed the hosta that was growing behind them. I think the hosta will have it’s revenge when it comes back next year and the tomato plants don’t!
I found out that this is where Mommy’s been getting the yummy little red tomatoes that she tosses to us like edible balls. Mmmm. So whenever I get a chance, I hunt them.
Here, mater, mater! Where, oh where are you? Hmm, gotta go deeper.
Wait! Is that one? Nope, just the edge of the pot that one is in. Can you believe these are all growing in pots? Seems Mommy isn’t much of a planter. When they first started to grow, she went to the hardware store to buy something for them to climb up. She saw these big things for plants to climb on, and thought they were way too big. Now she knows better, BOL! No one can even travel down our front walk without going around them into the yard.
Agh! Something’s in there! It almost got my nose! What, Mommy? It’s time to go back in and work? OK, I’m right behind you!
Happy Nature Friday and Weekend, friends, with a reminder to keep your nose outa trouble. XOX Xena
Chia: Play with me!
Xena: I don’t wanna.
Lucy, Ace Reporter, on the Groom Beat on Awww Monday. This one is sure to have all you schnauzer lovers saying “Awwwwwww.”
Our neighborhood and all the surrounding neighborhoods have an app called “Next Door.” Groomer Mom has had some very good reviews there, and has started getting business through this social media. That’s how her newest client with two schnauzers found her. Groomer Mom had to cancel their first appointment because that’s when my brother Adam was having emergency surgery. At that point, the new client told Groomer Mom that she would only be bringing Fargo when she rescheduled, because she thought she would have to have 10-year-old Zoe “put down.” Less than a week later when Groomer Mom called to reschedule, Fargo’s mom said the vet wanted to try something else he thought would help her, and she already seemed to be doing better, so Zoe would be coming, too.
Today we will focus on Zoe, with hopes she will be coming to get groomed many, many more times. Here is her “before” picture:
Zoe was a very good girl, and got lots of love while she was here.
This is what she looked like just before she went home.
We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.
This is Lucy, Ace Reporter, signing off with another successful groom.
We are joining Arty, Jakey, Rosy and Sunny of the LLB Gang with much thanks for hosting Nature Friday.
Xena: Mommy promised to take pictures of me checking out the huge tomato plants when she got home from work today. I like to stick half my body into the tomato forest and hunt for little red tomatoes. Yummy! It’s only got green ones now, but I’ve heard those are delish sliced and fried in cornmeal. Mmmm. Mommy said she’s not going to try to slice and dip and fry little maters that aren’t much bigger than my nose, BOL! Anyhow, it was starting to rain hard when Mommy got home, and it hasn’t stopped all evening. So. No. Pictures. That’s why we’re having a Natureless Friday.
Chia: Xena! Hey Xena! Look what I found in the recycle bin on the kitchen counter!
Xena: So what? Oooo, you opened someone else’s mail. You could go to jail.
Chia: No, numbnut, come look closer. Just whose mail is this!? Do you see the name right there under $0
Xena: DON’T CALL ME NUM…it’s…it’s got my name on it! It’s my mail! Wowzers! First I make a new texting friend, and now I’m getting my own mail! I need to call them. Has anyone seen where Mommy left her phone?
Chia: I want mail! I want mail! I want mail!
Xena: Look at this! This mail’s for me, too! I can’t believe it!
I’m going to be busy for a while, Chia. I need to answer my mail. Maybe I’ll have even more friends…and maybe they’ll all have treats…
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with mail
Lucy: We all love our Dad, and are thankful he was here to feed us and take care of us and sleep with us. Uh, or let us sleep with him. I guess it’s the same thing. We surrounded him with love both nights Mom spent in the hospital with our brother Adam.
Xena: We are all thankful that our brother Adam made it through the surgery OK and is in a hospital room recovering. Every day he gets a little better. I sure wouldn’t like to have a hole in my stomach letting icky stuff out into my body or something called an ulcer leaking lots of blood into my stomach. *shiver* He had both those things! That was the scariest Halloween ever for Mommy and Adam. But he’s going to be alright. We want to thank everyone for your prayers and POTP and purrayers and good thoughts and wishes. It all helped!
Riley: I will be super thankful next week when I get the stitches out of my ear and hopefully the ear wrap and the cone of honor removed. Right now I’m thankful for good food and my pack.
Chia: Mom has decided I’m way too thin and has started giving me more food. Yay! Thanks, Mom!
Xena: You oughta be thankful Mom even gives you food after you unstuffed Riley’s bed and Mom’s bed quilt and chewed up the zipper on Daddy’s favorite fleece.
Chia: *Grrr*. You can’t prove any of that!
Lucy: Girls, this seems like a good time to finish up our post with World Peace Day. I’ll start. I think if everyone could just agree to disagree, and to accept each other’s differences, there would be peace in the world.
Chia: Ummm, let me think…I know! If everyone played nice together, there would be peace. So, who wants to play with me?
Xena: I think life would be more peaceful if little sisters didn’t bug their older sisters; if everyone was held and loved; and if everyone’s tummies were full.
Riley: Peace be with you.
Lucy, Xena and Chia in unison: And also with you!
We are joining Brian’s Thankful Thursday, with special thanks to Brian for hosting it!
I was sitting around minding my own business when I heard Mommy’s phone go *ding!* I think she was in the bathroom and didn’t hear it. So I looked to see what it was *dinging* about. Hey, if I can figure out how to use Alexa to get my supper, this oughta be pretty easy!
While looking at the phone, I remembered Mommy always uses her finger to swipe down from the top to see her messages. I thought my pawpad might work, even though this wasn’t an eyepad…bingo! Here’s the text!
Heyy is this Damir? its Bexley…
we chatted on tagged last time
I came down to see my relatives
but we didn’t connect irl…Im
back n the area for a min if u
wanted 2 actually meet up
this time, around?
Since I know there is no one here by the name of Damir, I texted this back:
U have the wrong number
It worked! I got an answer! And the person even sent me her picture. She must be really nice.
Ouch did I just text some random
dude? Ouch My bad. Im such
stupid some of the time.
I didn’t want my new friend to feel bad, so I let her know it was ok and sent her my picture.
I’m a dog, not a dude, and I didn’t
even understand half your
abbreviations. Don’t worry
Then I got this reply:
Thank you for not being pissed off!
I suppose not all men are a jerk
that gives out fake phone nos haha; P
Wanna chat? What is ur name?
I was sitting there wondering why she thought I was a man. I looked at my picture real close to be sure I didn’t look like a man in it. Right then, Daddy walked by and saw me using Mommy’s phone. He looked at the texts and said, “Xexe, it’s a robot.”
Whaaaaat? How could a stupid robot text us? Nonetheless, Daddy said I wasn’t allowed to text with my new robot friend anymore. Not even after Bexley tried one more time…
Haha cool meeting ya! Thanks 4
keeping me company . What
kinda hijinks do u get up 2?
I so wanted to tell her I love to dance and go for rides and get treats. And I like playing with both my sisters, too. Maybe she’ll text me back when Mommy or Daddy aren’t around.
I’m Xena Schnauzer Texting Warrior Princess
We are joining Comedy Plus with much thanks for hosting Awww Mondays.
Xena: Thanks for holding me Auntie Jen. You’ve had a busy day and I’m glad to be here for you. Uh, where’s my Uncle Bill? Did Mommy leave my comb so I could look pretty for him?
Lucy: Mmph, mm, mmph. *pushes up head* Ah, I couldn’t talk with you laying on my head, sister. I want to be next to you, Auntie Jen, and cuddle and let you know I love you, too.
Xena: Is it time to eat yet? Where’s my Uncle Bill? Mommy gave him the instructions for feeding me, um, I mean feeding me and Lucy.
Achilles: Ella? Don’t you wanna play with me and Lucy? What’s wrong?
Ella: My back legs hurt. You know, the ones I had surgery on. Mom warned me about running and playing too hard, but I was just so excited that you’re here, Lucy.
Xena: I’m rested and ready to help you with quotes again, Uncle Bill. I think I got us a lot of liver treats yesterday!
Uncle Bill: Yes, well, about that…uh, I think we’re all set with liver treats, and I’ll have them sent to you when they arrive. How about if you just cuddle here on my lap while I work?
Achilles: I love you, Lucy. I want you to live here.
Lucy: I love you too, Achilles. I would stay here with you and your sister Ella, but I can’t ’cause it would break my Dad’s heart. Why don’t you and Ella come home with me? You’d have fun playing with Chia – if you didn’t mind her hanging off your cheek – and we could be together forever.
Achilles: I can’t, my love. Riley and I don’t get along. I can’t stand the thought that he used to be your boyfriend. Grrr.
Lucy: But I never loved him like I love you, honey.
Lucy: Mom and Dad will be here soon. Please ask Auntie Jen and Uncle Bill to bring you to visit me. And take good care of my BFF Ella, please. Bye bye until next time. *smooch*
Lucy: Are we there yet?
Five minutes later...
Xena: I heard Mommy ‘splainin to Uncle Bill all about how to feed me and Lucy. That’s when I realized I was gonna get left! Aghh! After her and Daddy left, I laid by the back door for 87 minutes waiting for her to come back, while the three “biggies” got all the excitement out of themselves.
Uncle Bill works from home, and everyone collapsed in his office. Since I hadn’t been running around like a crazy dog, I was able to help Uncle Bill with his work.
Uncle Bill even texted Mommy to let her know how great I was helping him with quotes on Dell products. Let’s see, I think this one could sell for about a gazilion liver treats. I love my Uncle Bill. Hmmm. Maybe it won’t be so bad being here for a few days after all…as long as I get to cuddle with him all night.
To be continued…
Ace Reporter here on the Groom Beat with an update on Roxxii.
Roxxii’s first groom by Groomer Mom got reported a little over three years ago. Now this Ace Reporter is back with a practically unbelievable story about what’s happened to her in the last year.
When Roxxii was first introduced, it was explained that her Mom was the girlfriend of one of brother Andrew’s friends. About 1 1/2 years ago, Andrew’s friend took his own life while his girlfriend, who we’ll call Em, was in the house with him. Understandably, she was a total wreck after that. (Groomer Mom explained this all to me.)
Well, about 14 months ago, Groomer Mom got a text from Em saying she had been in jail, and the police took Roxxii to our local shelter. When she got out, the shelter had “adopted” out Roxxii and wouldn’t give Em any more info. Em needed her old girl and all the unconditional love she gave, and she felt that Roxxii needed her, too. Mommy wished with all her heart that she had known what was going on, ’cause she would of gone to the shelter and bailed Roxxii out to live with us until Em could get her. But now it was too late.
Fast forward to last week. I’m gonna give you the full story since I am a reporter of integrety.
Daddy came home from work in our old truck that was suddenly missing the passenger side mirror. Over supper he told us that as he was pulling out from our subdivision onto the main road at o’dark thirty, a set of headlights suddenly appeared coming around the curve, and the truck was moving fast! He whipped his head around to see if he was about to get rear ended. As he did, he heard a loud bang! but didn’t know what had happened. Remember, it was really dark out. The next time he looked out at his mirror, it was gone! It all had happened in just a couple of seconds, with no time to think. In telling us about it, he came to the conclusion that there was also a truck coming toward him. (Yes, he was driving our truck, and the vehicle tearing up behind him was a truck, and the vehicle coming from the other direction was a truck.) (Remember, we live in Tennessee.) Anyhow, he figured the truck coming toward him in the oncoming lane must have had a ladder or something sticking out from the truck bed, and that’s what hit his mirror.
Fast forward to the next evening. Our folks had just finished their yummy supper out on the porch when they heard someone ring the front doorbell. As usual, Mommy got up to see who it was. Long story shorter, it was the nice young man who had been driving toward Daddy. And he had our truck’s shattered mirror in his hand. After everyone talked for about an hour, Daddy realized what had really happened. What really happened? Here’s the scoop!
Daddy, needing to turn right out of our subdivision, looks to the left before pulling out. Seeing no headlights, he starts to pull out, and is too far out when headlights suddenly appear, coming way, way over the speed limit at him. As he reflexively looks back over his shoulder to see if he’s going to get hit, he doesn’t turn the wheel hard enough and crosses the center line, where this young man is just reaching him in his own truck. Their driver side mirrors collide. No one stops, because that would be suicide at that point. You know, ’cause of the maniac tailgating Daddy and just ditches on both sides of the road.
The accident was clearly my Daddy’s fault because he crossed the center line. The young man somehow tracked Daddy down using Google maps or some Googe app. After the congenial hour-long conversation, they decided it would cost too much to just give the man cash to replace his truck’s mirror and repair the scrapes on the side of his big, new truck. It would have to be turned into insurance. Which means the police would have to be called.
Next thing we knew, there was a police cruiser parked in front of the house. The policeman, who was the same age as the young man, asked him if he wanted to press charges. He said no. He knew it was an accident, and that my Daddy had nowhere to pull over, and so on and so on.
Lucy: Xena? What do you think you’re doing? Are trying to impersonate me?
Xena: Uh, well, you see..
Lucy: Yes or no?
Xena: Well maybe, but I never said I was you. *pushes laptop over in front of Lucy*
Lucy (really!), Ace Reporter here on the Groom Beat with an update on Roxxii.
That whole long story that only Xena could do in the name of journalism was to tell you that while Groomer Mom was down by the road with Dad and the police and the young man, a car pulls up and the lady asks if anyone knows where the groomer lives. Turns out, it was Roxxii’s grandmother and Em’s mother. She wanted to make a grooming appointment. Groomer Mom realized Roxxii was back, safe and sound. I was watching from the house and saw Groomer Mom doing a Happy Dance right there in the road! The grandma paid the dog shelter $1000 to get information to track down Roxxii. Man #1 who got her from the shelter was fostering her. Man #2 came to his house and took Roxxii and wouldn’t give her back. Man #3 got Roxxii from Man #2 and brought her to her grandma. This was over the course of several months. Her grandma has no idea who Man #3 is or how he knew where to bring her. His only caveat was that Roxxii live there with her grandma, since Em was back in jail and facing serious time. Roxxii’s grandma loves her and wanted to keep her anyhow, so she readily agreed.
Roxxii was in pretty bad shape groom-wise, so her grandma said to just “cut it all off.”
This is a picture from the first time Roxxii came to us, about three years ago.
She looked even worse this time, with her hair grown over her eyes and the eye snot underneath them stuck to her skin.
Here she is after her groom this time. Her hair had to be cut really short because of all the mats. Her grandma promised to keep bringing her so she doesn’t get in bad shape again.
We are very thankful for a happy ending for Roxxii.
Groomer Mom: While this turned out well for precious Roxxii, we are all praying and doing POTP for “Em.” We ask for your good thoughts for her to be able to get her life turned around.
Lucy (really!) and the imposter Xena, Ace Reporters, signing off.
Xena: Just one more thing to be thankful for! The young man whose truck mirror Daddy knocked off with our truck mirror just bought a zero turn lawn mower and, next summer, when it gets too hot for Mommy to cut the grass, he is going to start cutting it. And one more thing to be thankful for is he said we were so nice to him that he wants to take Mommy and Daddy out to dinner! BOL! It’s a crazy world!
Xena: Where’s Mommy and Daddy?
Lucy: Chia’s in her kennel, so that means they’ve left. You know they always come back, or Miss Christy comes to stay.
Xena: But it’s almost suppertime! What am I, er, we going to do?
Lucy: You don’t have to growl about it, Xena! Just take a nap and wait for someone to show up.
Xena: I’m not growling! That’s my tummy.
Hmmm, I’ve heard Mommy tell that thing she calls Alexa to call her phone. “Hey Alexa, call Mommy’s phone.”
Hmmm. Nothing. Maybe if I read the directions on the screen…wait! I think Alexa says, “Amy” when it talks to her. “Hey Alexa! Call Amy’s phone.”
Amy: Jeff, get a to-go box. We have to go home.
I am Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess with a happy tummy.
Chia: Lucy! Play with me!
Lucy: I’m resting…I. Said. No!
Chia: Xena, play with me!
Xena: OK, first, let’s play “singing.” I’ll teach you a song. I’ll sing my part first, then you sing your part.
Xena: “I ain’t nothin’ but a schnauzer, woo, woo woo.”
Chia: “I ain’t nothin but a Jacksund, woo, woo, woo.”
We hope you enjoyed our busy selfies today.
Woo, woo, woo from Xena and Chia
We’re joining Comedy Plus for theAwww Monday Blog Hop!
Miss Christy: You pups got a video message from your Mom. Gather round and I’ll play it for you. *mumbling* I never get video messages…I’ve never even stayed with pups before who got video messages.
Xena: The ocean sure looks calm there and small.
Riley: That’s not the ocean, it’s a swimming pool.
Lucy: She’s changed locations. Oh dear. Do you think she’s been stolen and we’ll have to go find her, or maybe give a reward to get her back?
Chia: Why isn’t anyone playing with me? Wait! What did she say at the end there? Miss Christy, did you tell her what we did yesterday, running off to to look for her and Dad on Talk Like a Pirate Day??
Miss Christy: No Chia. I promised I wouldn’t in exchange for you being a good girl for me.
Riley: What? Mom Amy found out? Xena, push the duster around the floor. I’ll pre-wash the dishes, and Lucy, you lick the kitchen floor clean.
Chia: What about me?
Riley: Hide that thing you chewed up and stay out of trouble.
Xena: And I’ll look up at her adoringly when she gets back.
Lucy: And I’ll try to not look too guilty.
Miss Christy: That’s right. You pups do all that work and I won’t have to. I’m sure she’ll forgive you then.
Chia: Won’t have to what, Miss Christy?
Miss Christy: Uh, umm *thinking* I won’t have to tell our little secret!
Xena: It’s selfie time and I think it’s Riley’s turn. Now where did he go? Ah, there he is in our favorite red chair. Ri! Wake up for your selfie! Riley! *click*
That didn’t work out so well. Guess he forfeited his turn. I think that long mess called Chia is next in line for a selfie. I know she’s around here somewhere; she and Lucy were just playing. Or maybe I should say she was just grabbing Lucy’s face and stretching the skin as far as it would go while Lucy pawed at her to get her loose. Oh! There they are.
Well, so much for either of them doing a selfie. At least Lucy still has a face. *click*
I guess it’ll be my turn after all. But first, I wanna tell you about Chia “grossing Mommy out.”
Mommy was sitting on the rug on the porch, taping down the edges so that Chia couldn’t turn it over and tear it up. She got one side done and put her hand down on the rug to lift up to turn the corner. Her hand pushed on something soft and small and kinda gooey. Chia had killed one of my lizards, and it was laying there without it’s tail. I’ve never seen Mommy wash her hands for so long.
A few days later Mommy and Daddy were having lunch on the porch, and Mommy had laid her eyeglasses on the table while she ate. She looked down and saw a “twig” on the floor. Chia’s always bringing sticks and stones in from the dog lot, and Mommy picks them up so she doesn’t eat them. She realized when she laid the “twig” on the table that it didn’t look quite like a stick. When she put her glasses on she discovered it used to be a grasshopper, but now had no legs to hop.
If that put all kinds of icky image in your head, let me replace them with one of pretty little me.
Hoping you have a grossed-out-free week (which is much more likely without Chia around).
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Daddy, thank you for sitting here on the arm of the couch so I have something to lean my back against. It’s mighty comfy here on my princess couch pillow.
Look at those two slackers. You’d think it was bedtime.
Well, I’m thankful for my sister Lucy and for Riley, too.
*yawn* Maybe it is bedtime. I’m thankful for my soft couch pillow and for my soft big bed I share wih you and Mommy.
Chia: Get outa the way, sister. I want that spot with my Dad. Move!
Xena: I can’t wait until that pup goes to the Manners Matter class with Mommy. She’ll probably have to take it about 87 times. Daddy, go ahead and put that long mess in my kennel for the night and I’ll meet you in the bedroom with Mommy.
Xena Schnauzer Warrior Princess
Ludwig: Monkey, what are you doing laying here behind the chair? Are you hiding?
Monkey: No, Ludwig, Chia dumped me here, and I’ve just given up. I’m gonna die and no one can help me. She’ll rip me open the same way she did the tape on the back of that chair.
Ludwig: Stay right here, don’t move. *thinking: who should I get, who can help him? The stuffie Support Team!*
Lambie: Monkey, my dear friend, what’s wrong.
Monkey: I was hiding out on the big bed from Riley. It was working, too, ’cause he can’t get up there anymore.
I was happy, daydreaming about the good old days many years ago when the boys were little and played with me all the time. Yep, those were the good old days. The dogs, Sammy and Freda, were never interested in me at all. I just played with the kids all day.
And now, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I know I’m gonna die, I’m gonna…
Lambie: Please stop saying that, Monkey. We all have our time, but it’s not your time yet. What’s wrong?
Monkey: Did you see what Chia did to Eleephant? I’m next.
Xena: That wasn’t Chia. Eleephant got these injuries long before even I was born.
It was probably Riley, and now he’s focused on loving his own stuffie, Reindeer. Ain’t it somethin’ what love’ll do? You need to stop this silliness and go play with your friends and stop interrupting my Sunday Selfie.
Lambie: Come on Monkey. Do you want to go play outside for a while?
Monkey: Maybe. Let’s go quietly while Chia’s sharpening her teeth on that bone. I don’t want to draw her attention to me. Or we could just sit here together and watch the birds and the squirrels and the people and dogs walking by. Thanks for being my friend, Lambie.
And their imaginary friends
Follow the antics of our loveable crew
Following in the legendary pawprints of Lexi the Schnauzer
My life with Schnauzers
Following in the legendary pawprints of Lexi the Schnauzer
I'm Dalton, a Rat terrier mix and I came here in Sept, 2017, I was rescued from Hurricane Harvey. My birthday is 8-20-2016. My Gotcha Day is 8-27-2017. And I am Benji, a terrier mix of unknown origin. MY Birthday is June 6, 2018, and my Gotcha Day is Dec 28, 2018. I also was a rescue from a different part of Texas. We also have Angel MrJackFreckles, (2-5-2018); and also we have Angel Minko, (6-18-2017); and Angel Pipo, (11-3-2020);There are also Angels Groucho, Simba, Suki, & Toki. We meezers used to be known as WeBeesSiameezers. We'e all from Michigan, Dalton and Benji both came here from Texas, as rescues..
Books and writing
Cartoons by John Atkinson. ©John Atkinson, Wrong Hands
Musings on what I enjoy about dogs, crochet, birds, and life.
Following in the legendary pawprints of Lexi the Schnauzer
Andy and I miss Dougy
All about our truly best friend...
Dogtor B, an ex-shelter dog, became a therapy dog in October 2016. He loves to talk about his endeavors, his brother Sky, and life in general as an American expat in New Zealand.
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Through the eyes of a four legged friend
Adventures of a pet therapy dog and his Ninja sister
Meezers At Large
The Cricket Pages
Bella Sisturss Furever!!!
I'm a parrot curmudgeon
The Life of a Rescued Stray
Life as Seen by Hemingway and Steinbeck